Chapter 33 The Struggle of the Underachiever Uncle.
Yan Xingli's world collapsed again and again.
Going to bed early and waking up early, and staying away from electronic devices is one thing, but what's the point of doing math problems and attending physics class? Are you preparing for graduate school?!
That's not all. The child went to great lengths to ensure his healthy growth, even coming up with the ingenious idea of having him move to the mountains to live, where he would dig for wild vegetables, eat wild fruits, and drink dew every day.
What, is the ultimate goal of growing up healthily to become a savage?
Yan Xingli's lips twitched: "Yuyu, your uncle graduated four years ago, why do you want me to do homework?"
The child cupped his face in his hands: "Uncle, doing more math problems will make your little brain much smarter."
[Fish Baby, what you said makes sense, but look at your uncle's expression, does he look like he wants to learn? (doge emoji)]
[Waaaaah, no one thinks we math dunces don't want to learn, right?]
“I don’t need to be that smart.” Yan Xingli said blankly, brushing the child’s chubby little hand away. “I’m fine as I am.”
Qi Youyu persisted relentlessly, while Yan Xingli grew increasingly annoyed. He scratched his head and changed the subject:
“Yuyu, do you know that you can’t just live in the mountains whenever you want? First, you need land to build a house on an empty lot. Second, someone has to be willing to sell the land.”
Yan Xingli said, mixing truth with falsehood, "Land is more valuable than money. No matter how much money you have, no one is willing to sell land, so your plan has absolutely no chance of being realized."
Qi Youyu was genuinely surprised after hearing this.
The meticulous young scientist rested his chin on his hand and pondered for a moment: "Then I'll think about it some more."
Yan Xingli's expression relaxed.
I managed to fool them through this hurdle.
Director Zheng Shoucheng, who was watching the live broadcast from outside the screen, thought it was a good idea. Living in the mountains, far from human habitation, with fresh air and a pleasant environment, would also make it easier to protect the environment.
When Yu Yu reaches school age, she will be escorted to City A.
Even after her cousin Meng Xinyun finished giving her statement, the grandmother and granddaughter were still discussing the contents of the plan.
Meng Xinyun showed curiosity about the health plan the two were talking about, and Yu Yu generously showed it to her, her little mouth never stopping:
"Sister Xiaoyun, I hope my uncle lives a healthy life. He always stays at home eating grass and doesn't like to use his brain. I'm so worried about him."
Yan Xingli's lips were slightly chapped.
Due to his profession, he eats very clean meals every day, and no matter how busy he is, he always makes time to exercise for one or two hours. He also takes various nutritional supplements constantly, making him more self-disciplined than most people.
In the child's words, it was as if half of his body was buried in the ground.
Meng Xinyun skimmed through the text, a thought flickered in her mind, and she turned to ask, "Yuyu, would you like to live in the mountains?"
The child gave a soft "hmm" and hugged his head in distress: "But Uncle said we don't have any land and can't live in the mountains."
Actually, for Yu Yu, whether or not she has a house isn't a big problem. She had already prepared a surprise, but she could only give it to him on her uncle's birthday.
Meng Xinyun patted the child's smooth, big head: "Don't worry, there will always be a way."
Yan Xingli's eyebrows twitched.
The family discussed the suggestion to move their home, and decided to wait until after the show ended. They were worried that the child wouldn't be able to adapt, and also because it was a live broadcast, and moving too much would raise suspicion.
Both those in power and those themselves hope to downplay the impact in a low-key manner.
Welcome home.
"Wow, Little Flower, you've turned into a snowman with a red scarf!"
"Yes, as you can see, my beauty has reached a new level."
The little flower with a cashmere scarf tied around its short neck looks like a peacock spreading its tail feathers, twirling around to show off its new fashion item from all angles, looking incredibly happy.
Yu Yu looked up: "Did you buy this?"
“No.” Xiaohua pointed to the living room with her little round finger. “It was a scarf that Mr. Su knitted for me by hand.”
Su Yu is a university teacher with few classes and a lot of free time. He spends the rest of his time with his wife learning new skills to enrich his leisure life.
In the dead of winter, everyone in the world was wearing cotton-padded clothes and trousers, but Xiaohua was completely naked except for a fisherman's hat that offered no warmth. Su Yu couldn't help but feel a surge of fatherly love and knitted a scarf for Xiaohua overnight.
A few small sunflowers were crocheted on the scarf, which matched the fisherman's hat it was wearing.
Xiaohua felt incredible when she received it. "Mr. Su, you have such skillful hands. Perhaps you would be willing to teach me?"
The eager-to-learn robot is like an eager-to-learn child, and Su Yu is very willing to teach this big fat potato.
Then Qi Youyu and Yan Xingli saw Xiao Hua sitting next to Su Yu, head down, using its little round hands to suck up the crochet hook.
He meticulously followed Su Yu's instructions to learn knitting.
"Xiaohua, don't pinch too tightly when you start the stitch, relax."
"Xiaohua, you put your finger on the wrong ring. You should come out from the second ring."
Soon, Little Flower's tentacles began to dance wildly. Oh, it, with the world's most sophisticated mechanical brain, was defeated by coils of thread that had no intelligence or life.
As expected of humans who created robots, I'm quite impressed with the little robot wearing the plush scarf.
Meanwhile, Yu Yu and Yan Xingli continued their conversation.
Yan Xingli crossed his arms and looked down at the child condescendingly: "What do I need so much intelligence for? I'm not going to take the postgraduate entrance exam."
Yu Yu has high hopes for him: "When my uncle is very smart, he can work at a research institute like Grandpa Zhou and Aunt Lin."
She had looked into it all. Working at the research institute meant working from 8 am to 5 pm, having weekends off, not having to stay up all night filming, and not getting scolded.
He can easily make a few small inventions and even get a bonus, which is much easier than his uncle filming movies every day.
"New brains are so daring," Yan Xingli said, pressing his throbbing forehead. "They're professors, what am I, a mere undergraduate, supposed to do? It's just wishful thinking."
Honestly, after all those years of schooling, kindergarten was the easiest.
He finally made it to university graduation and was determined not to return to the cutthroat world of life and death.
Puben? ?
This has touched on a blind spot in Yu Yu's knowledge.
The little flower, having retracted its antennae, sat upright and offered a timely explanation: "To become a professor, one needs a solid foundation of knowledge and academic background. Ordinary undergraduate students who wish to become professors must pursue advanced studies, publish high-level papers, and complete the transformation from undergraduate to graduate, doctoral, and master's degree, gradually progressing to teaching assistant, lecturer, associate professor, and finally professor."
Qi Youyu was dizzy: "Oh, it has to be so complicated."
Yan Xingli: "That's right, you're always thinking of something you don't know."
Difficulties mean challenges.
Xiao Hua's accidental remark ignited the child's fighting spirit. Yu Yu clenched her little fists and puffed out her little chest:
"Uncle, don't be discouraged, I will help you."
"Come on, let's take the postgraduate entrance exam first."
[Pfft, hahaha, our little fish really has high hopes for its uncle!]
[I had absolutely no doubt about my uncle's abilities; you could say I trusted him completely.]
Yan Xingli: "???"
...Don't make it sound like you're at a seafood market, saying to the seafood vendor, "Hey, give me a pound of fish first."
Is being a graduate student like roasting sweet potatoes or roasting fish? It's so easy to get into graduate school.
Before her uncle could protest, Yu Yu bravely rushed into the guest room, pulled out a notebook and pen, swung her short legs back to the living room, and lay down on the carpet to write furiously.
[What is my little fish writing? Let Auntie see!]
The behind-the-scenes staff thoughtfully zoomed in and enlarged the camera—
The moment those crooked words filled the screen, the comments section erupted in an uproar.
Calculus? Advanced mathematics? Holy crap, what the heck? YuYu is actually setting up exam questions!
[...a college student secretly died.]
Sisters, am I seeing things? Is YuYu giving me calculus questions?! She's only three years old!
"Here you go, Uncle."
Yu Yu only asked three questions that she thought were the simplest. The moment Yan Xingli saw her move, alarm bells went off in his mind.
When he looked at the contents of the notebook again, his heart sank.
He glared at the child with the look of a slacker looking at a top student, and slammed down three words: "I can't."
Upon hearing this reply, the two little aliens were both taken aback.
Qi Youyu: "Ah."
The child was astonished. Xiao Hua remained silent for a while before stepping in to help Yan Xingli out of the predicament:
“Master Yu Yu, Xing Ge perfectly matches my assessment of him. He needs to do a lot of math problems to stimulate his brain. Currently, some functions of his brain are still dormant.”
It was rare for Xiaohua to be so considerate, but Yan Xingli couldn't manage a smile.
Qi Youyu looked like she suddenly understood.
But she didn't know how to teach questions that were too simple. After thinking for a while, she made a painful decision with her little face pouting.
"I want to call Grandpa Zheng."
The moment he finished speaking, the live stream went black.
[Black screen???]
[Network administrator, why is there no internet?!]
[Am I experiencing a buffering issue? The other guests' livestreams are running normally.]
The production team, which received the order from their superiors, was equally bewildered. Why did they suddenly have to shut down the live stream of Yan Xingli's group of guests?
Director Zheng Xiaofeng was puzzled, yet he sensed something unusual; it seemed that the platform's review process had become even stricter since the emergence of Xiaohuahao.
Unaware of the situation, Yu Yu took out the old-fashioned mobile phone that Yan Xingli had bought for her and dialed Zheng Shoucheng's number.
The phone was answered in less than three rings.
Hello, Fishy.
"Hello, Grandpa Zheng." Qi Youyu didn't mince words; after a simple, polite greeting, she got straight to the point.
"Grandpa Zheng, I want to hire a tutor for my uncle. Can you help me?" The child added confidently, "I have a lot of money, and I'm not afraid to spend it."
Zheng Shoucheng let out a series of hearty laughs; of course, he had no doubt about the source of Yu Yu's money.
Given that Yu Yu was born into such a family, it's perfectly normal for her to have hundreds of thousands of yuan in New Year's money.
"Of course, Grandpa would be happy to help you."
The speakerphone for the elderly was unusually loud and had such strong penetrating power that it could be heard clearly even with one's ears plugged.
After a few futile struggles, Yan Xingli closed his eyes in despair.
"Is there anything else, Yu Yu?"
Qi Youyu's eyes darted around, and she said in a clear voice, "Grandpa Zheng, could you put a license plate on Xiaohua's car?"
Zheng Shoucheng paused, then said with a wry smile, "Yuyu, the prerequisite for getting a license plate is having a driver's license, and you need to take a driving test to get one. The law stipulates that minors cannot take a driving test."
“So Grandpa can’t help you.” Zheng Shoucheng’s attitude was extremely kind, as patient as if he were treating his own junior. “When you grow up, Grandpa Zheng will help you register for the driver’s license test, okay?”
This was like a bolt from the blue for Qi Youyu and Xiaohua.
Oh no, this is terrible, Little Flower has lost its chance to set sail.
The little flower has wilted. Oh, it can no longer be a hero; it can no longer see the adoring and delighted gazes of human children.
Qi Youyu hung up the phone, clutching the little clothes and looking at the dejected Xiaohua, unsure how to comfort her.
Just then, a tall figure descended upon the heads of the two little aliens.
Yan Xingli smiled faintly, bent down and patted one round head with each hand, and spoke slowly:
“Yuyu, your uncle can help Xiaohua get a license plate. Your uncle is an adult and has a driver’s license.”
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Author's note: Something came up today and I couldn't finish writing, so I'll stop here for now and update more tomorrow!
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