Song Yuwei slowly began to speak: "Actually, you have a fatal problem in these relationships. You are always hoping to receive gifts from others, or for others to do something for you, or for others to praise and admire you. If you do this, and on the contrary, you receive insults and belittlement."
Or, if others look down on you, this can cause you profound pain, or it can alter your mindset. The harm that can be inflicted on you isn't determined by what others do to you, but by how you react.
This reaction of yours will only deepen your suffering, because the root cause of all suffering is actually only one thing: constantly seeking externally. Your gaze is always fixed on the outside, so you don't notice your heart. Your heart is always there, and it neither increases nor decreases.
Everything you need to do, you already have in your heart; you are a self-sufficient being. So, I think you've just been deceived. Everyone has this ability; we are all ordinary people with all sorts of desires, entangled in all sorts of things.
We may feel that life is vast, but we may also feel that life is a painful process. In fact, whether the process is painful or vast, it does not harm our hearts. It is just an experience and a gain in this world.
As I said before, a bottle of water doesn't exist before, nor will it exist in the future; it only exists at this moment. Its existence is because you need it. If you don't need it, this bottle of water won't be in front of you. You will experience everything you need.
But this experience doesn't become the soul; it changes over time, like that bottle of water. Sooner or later you'll drink it, or even if you don't, it will dry up eventually. All relationships are just meant to provide us with a unique experience, so that we can learn something from it.
But if you learn something from it but don't realize it, you'll encounter the same thing again until one day you understand what you should have learned from it. Only then will you get what you want.
At times like these, what you desire is certainly not something found in this world, because this world is impermanent and constantly changing; nothing is permanent.
So what you should do is not to cling to this ever-changing world that is only a fleeting moment. It's like a bottle of water; you should drink it when you're thirsty, not hold onto it and be obsessed with it for the rest of your life.
And so you overlook other things. Life has so many wonderful things to do, and you can do all sorts of things. You may find that you encounter difficulties, which is a headache, but when you solve them, you will also discover a lot of beauty that you have never seen before. When you learn what you should learn from this experience, perhaps your mission will be accomplished.
As the saying goes, isn't the point of life to enjoy oneself? Of course, this is just a metaphor. It doesn't mean that you don't need to do anything in your life, that you're just wasting your life, or that you're indulging in pleasure and being irresponsible.
What you should do is not that kind of thing, but rather accumulate them and treat them as a joyful experience, even if it is defined as particularly painful in the eyes of others or in the world. But in the end, if you are willing to say that it is a different kind of joy after experiencing it, then you are a person who can fulfill his mission and enjoy it.
Letting go of attachments and enjoying every process is also extremely important. Our minds are always filled with different voices, various thoughts, and all sorts of messy emotions that may prevent us from entering the present moment. Perhaps you're overthinking things.
Your true feelings will be clouded, and you will become very confused, feeling like you don't know what you're doing. But in reality, you can't just let go of those random thoughts, or rather, you can't let go of them when you're not clear-headed.
All you should do is become an observer, observing the jumbled emotions occupying your mind, observing your emotions, your thoughts, instead of taking these things you like as yourself, because you are not those things that are constantly changing.
Those were just fleeting moments of joy; they couldn't represent your true nature. All you need to do is calm yourself down. Quietly observe everything happening in your mind. In fact, when you pay attention, these random thoughts will stop.
Remember not to let these emotions control you, because emotions have a huge impact on people. There are two of you living inside you: one is a false you, which only exists in this world.
Once your life comes to an end, it disappears with you, so it's not the real you anymore; it's just fear. It's like your brain, which you use to do many things.
Try to think about what elements are needed to do something, what the plan should be, but your brain is a very cunning organ. It may control you and make you believe that you are what your brain is thinking, and that all of this is just a temporary fantasy in your mind.
If you let go, he won't control you anymore. But the prerequisite for letting go is knowing how to control yourself and not get caught up in it. When you can truly understand that the quiet, joyful, and free being within you, without any thoughts or emotions, is you, then you will have found yourself.
Moreover, that person doesn't need you to take anything from the outside world, or to desperately acquire something to solidify or strengthen its existence. It is inherently complete, neither increasing nor decreasing, and doesn't need anything external to fill the void.
Anything that needs external fulfillment is a false and lacking thing. Only by dispelling this illusion can you discover a whole new world, where you can happily play and enjoy the game without being troubled by anything.
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