With empty hands, empty backpack, and empty health bar, Xia Yujie: "..."

What kind of shocking three-no character setting is this?

Xia Yujie was shocked and asked, "Why can players still randomly get low on health? Is this reasonable?"

Al patted his shoulder with a heavy expression and said, "Jack, life is like opening a blind box. This is the joy of living."

"I don't find it funny at all! By the way, do you have anything that can restore blood? Food or blood-replenishing potion will do."

Everyone was silent for a few seconds, and turned to look at Gojo Satoru at the same time. Al said, "Go-chan, your macarons...?"

Macarons are high-end food, and it's a bit of a waste for a novice who has very little health, but there is no other way in this situation.

Gojo Satoru said calmly, "I ate it."

oh.

Eat it.

Have you eaten?!

Xia Yujie grabbed his collar and said, "Why are you eating it? Is it delicious?"

Gojo Satoru felt a little guilty for once and said, "Ah, it actually doesn't taste like anything. After all, this isn't a real holographic online game!"

Huiyuan Yu worriedly asked, "Senior Ieiri, can you still heal Senior Getu?"

Ieiri Naoko shrugged: "I am not a nanny now. Have you seen my great sword?"

She swung the sword in her hand, which was nearly two-thirds her size.

“…”

"There's nothing we can do." Nanami Kento sighed, "If I kill wild monsters, they'll drop medicine and food in addition to equipment, right? I can only go out and try my luck."

"Too."

Huiyuan Yu said, "Then I and I will go out and fight monsters... Senior Geto, you don't have to come out. What if a monster hits you and you die instantly?"

Xia Yujie: “…”

Xia Yujie said expressionlessly: "Have I become a burden to the team from the beginning? Is this the captain's flag..."

Al patted his shoulder and encouraged him, "It's okay, Master. Go-chan and I will accompany you. And losing health is not necessarily a bad thing. Your attribute points are probably randomly allocated to other places, such as attack, speed, etc. Maybe you are better than others in this aspect."

Xia Yujie paused, as if he was comforted.

Al Dao: "However, before we split up, in order to balance our combat power, shall we first test everyone's combat power?"

"Testing?"

“Ding ding ding! Combat power detector! Just press it lightly to test the target character’s combat power!”

Gojo Satoru's eyes lit up, "Is that the one? Is that the legendary one? Is that the one from Dragon Ball?"

"Yes!"

The artifact brought by the Saiyans in Dragon Ball when they officially debuted, a combat power tester that would explode directly when encountering someone with extremely high combat power, is something that many Dragon Ball fans have dreamed of!

Ieiri Naoko was suspicious and asked, "Isn't this game called Owee instead of Dragon Ball? Is it okay to just use Dragon Ball items? They didn't even change the name."

"It doesn't matter," Al told her. "If it gets reported, let it pay for it."

Everyone: “…”

What a ruthless player, what a cold-blooded player!

Al asked excitedly, "Who's coming first?"

Huiyuan Xiong responded enthusiastically: "Me, me, me!"

So Al put on the combat power tester, aimed it at Haibara Yu, and gently pressed the test switch.

"Attack 520, Defense 880. Wow, the defense is very high. Is it because Haibara is equipped with a shield?"

Huihara's eyes sparkled.

“Is this high?”

"Hmm...it says that the average person's attack and defense are both around 480."

"Then I'm awesome!"

Al tested Naoko Ieiri again, and the values ​​were completely opposite to those of Haibara Yu: "Attack 880, Defense 520. It must be because Naoko's great sword increased the attack power!"

"How should I put it..." Ieiri Naoko said in a subtle mood, "Can I finally be the loser for once? I'm actually quite happy when I think about it."

Suddenly I got the charm of the game.

Al set his next target on Nanami Kento, who said helplessly, "I don't really want to measure this. It's just a number in the game anyway. It doesn't matter what..."

"Attack 420, Defense 420, Darkness 300, Nanami, are you in a bad mood now?"

Nanami Kento: “…”

Nanami Kento sighed, "Please don't add any weird values."

"There's nothing we can do about it, because it's a random mode now."

Nanami Kento: “…”

You can't randomly come up with a value that doesn't exist!

Al turned to Gojo Satoru again, who immediately waved his hand and refused, "No, Al, you have to test me last."

"Why?"

"I'm definitely super strong. This thing will explode on the spot after testing me."

Xia Yujie said speechlessly: "Please look at your own level. You are level 1. You may not be able to win a one-on-one fight with a goblin now."

Unexpectedly, before he could finish his words, Al decisively turned to him and pressed the test button.

"Negative 520, negative 880, negative 1000, negative 2000, negative 5000, negative 10000, ah——"

With a bang, the combat power detector exploded on the spot.

Gojo Satoru: “…”

Xia Yujie: “…”

Summer Oil: "Why?!"

Al said bitterly, "Master... you are so weak that even the combat power detector can't stand it."

Xia Yujie was puzzled and said, "Hey, Al, is this really a randomly assigned attribute? It's deliberately targeting me, right? I feel the strong malice of the random mode towards me!"

“…Well, random mode is random mode, but unfortunately, Go-chan’s fighting ability has not been tested yet. I don’t need to, because I’m level 68 now, which is stronger than all of you combined.”

Everyone: “…”

Everyone was puzzled and asked: "Why?"

Al blinked innocently, "Because I'm level 68."

Don't ask, the only thing is that the Berserker COS system is awesome, and his actual level is directly brought into the game.

Nanami Kento thought for a moment and speculated, "Could it be that, because Senior Al randomly reached level 68, Senior Getafe became negative level 68 as a price to pay for the balance?"

Al was stunned, "Huh?"

Can the sorcerer's balance theory be brought in here?

The others thought more and more that it made sense. Huiyuan Xiong said seriously: "Well, in order to make up for the shortcoming of negative level 68, we will definitely bring back more equipment! Right? Ieiri-senpai!"

Ieiri Naoko: “…”

She still wasn't used to the atmosphere of going into battle, but she nodded and took up her sword: "Okay."

Nanami Kento looked at Haibara Yu and Ieiri Naoko, then looked at Al and the other two, and decisively chose to leave with Haibara Yu and Ieiri Naoko.

"I have a map. The slimes in the western woods are probably more suitable for beginners. Why don't we go there and fight monsters?"

"Yes, sure."

"As expected of Nanami!"

Not long after the three of them walked out of the town, the system sent a reminder sound in the ears of Al and the other two: "Teammate Nazawa's experience increased by two, teammate Nanami's experience increased by two, teammate Haibara's experience increased by two."

Gojo Satoru smiled and said, "It looks like everything is going well there. Jay, what should we do next?"

"Don't worry about me." Xia Yujie sighed, "I will only lower the average combat power of the team now. I'd better not team up with you two. I'll act alone."

He muttered to himself, "It's better to just kill a negative five-digit fighter with one key. At least I won't hold my teammates back..."

Gojo Satoru exclaimed: "You guys are just starting to mess around, right? Hey, come back, I didn't say I'm not going to care about you."

Xia Yujie shook his head and said, "I'm leaving."

Al was surprised and asked, "Wait, Master, where are you going?"

Xia Youjie stopped and pointed to the house in front of them. There were three big words written on the house: KFC.

Al: “…”

Gojo Satoru: “…”

Help! How does this game randomly show KFC? Is it really okay? Is it really okay for KFC to appear in the game?

The black-haired boy gave a tired smile and explained, "I'm going here to study cooking and try to make food that can replenish blood as soon as possible."

Al: “…”

Gojo Satoru: “…”

They looked at Xia Yujie Xiaose's departing back in awe. A cold wind blew past, and a new reminder sound came to their ears.

"Teammate Getsu learned how to make the spicy chicken burger"

"Teammate Getsu learned how to make Portuguese egg tarts"

"Teammate Getsu learned how to make "Italian classic tomato bolognese""

Al & Gojo Satoru: "..."

Hey guys, you are actually here to participate in the kitchen training of KFC Owee branch, right?

Gojo Satoru pointed at the door of KFC and asked in confusion, "We've already learned how to make 'Spaghetti Bolognese', but we haven't made any food that can replenish our blood?"

Al opened the translucent page and flipped through the data. "Wujiang, 'Spaghetti with Classic Tomato Sauce' is a high-level food that can increase speed. It is something that can only be used in high-difficulty dungeons."

Gojo Satoru shouted at the door of Kenji: "Hey! Jay! Why don't you make something low-level!"

The next second, the system sounded a prompt.

"Teammate Xia Yu has learned how to make the "Fuxing Jia Afternoon Tea Set""

"Is that enough? Jay, you've already made the resurrection armor, so don't bother making something that can restore health! Can you be a little smarter?!"

"Teammate Getsu learned how to make "Pig Brain Mashed Potatoes""

Al complained: "He heard it, Wu-chan, J-chan, he definitely heard you calling him a fool, and he called you a pig in return."

Gojo Satoru: “…”

Getsu's skill in frying junk food was visibly improving. Al and Gojo Satoru waited outside for a while, and only gave up waiting for Getsu after he earned the title of "Master Chef. Masterful Skills".

Forget it. If this guy doesn't become a sorcerer in the future, at least he can open a KFC Shinjuku branch in Shinjuku. Just think of it as him attending culinary training in advance.

Al and Gojo Satoru continued walking along the street. Al asked, "Satoru-chan, what should we do next? It would be too boring to just go and meet up with Nozomi and the others."

Gojo Satoru couldn't agree more.

The random mode is all about blind boxes and heartbeats. After all, everything in the random mode is random. For example, Geto Suguru is striding towards the goal of becoming the manager of KFC Shinjuku branch.

An idea suddenly occurred to him: "Al, let's go check on our opponents."

Al smiled and raised his hand to clap his hands.

"I agree!"

They quickly crossed several streets and finally saw another team. At this time, the team from Gintama High School also began to disperse. Only Sakata Ginpachi and... uh, a coffin were left.

Al looked at the dark coffin and asked, "Mr. Ginpachi, is this something you found by chance?"

Sakata Ginpachi said expressionlessly: "Ah... it's you. No, that's my unlucky teammate who opened the blind box."

Gojo Satoru raised his eyebrows: "Your teammate was killed as soon as he landed on the ground?"

Sakata Ginpachi shook his head: "That's not the case, but his random health bar was only 1, and he was tripped by a stone on the road just now, and his health bar was directly cleared to zero, turning into a coffin."

Gojo Satoru: "...What a coincidence! We also have a fool with only 1 HP on our team."

Sakata Ginpachi looked around and asked, "Who is that? Did he also fall to the ground and get smashed?"

"No." Al said calmly: "He decided to give up the adventure and go to KFC as an apprentice."

Sakata Ginpachi: “…”

What a mess.

At this moment, the coffin suddenly spoke: "Hey, you bastard teacher, why don't you take me to the church to be resurrected!"

Al was surprised and said, "It's you, Mr. Suisan."

The coffin was furious and said, "Shishiro, Shishiro, I am Hijikata Shishiro! Stop playing the Hijikata Seisan joke!"

Gojo Satoru said indifferently, "But, your name itself is a play on Hijikata Toshizo, right? Instead of stopping others from playing on the meme, why don't you go home and complain about your parents' naming skills?"

The coffin was furious and said, "Can't I have the last name Hijikata? Can't I be called Shishiro? Can't I be the fourteenth child in my family?"

"From what I know, you are just the second son. Who would be so stupid as to give birth to fourteen children these days?" Sakata Ginpachi scratched his ears and said nonchalantly, "Duokushi-kun, it's not that the teacher doesn't want to help you, but the teacher is also poisoned now. If he takes three more steps, he will die. Then we will become two coffins."

Al blinked.

From what I heard, Sakata Ginpachi was randomly given the poison debuff?

Well, it seems that Gintama High School is more unlucky.

The coffin was quiet for a while, then coughed lightly and said expectantly: "Well, Al-kun, Gojo-kun - right? Well, the opponent killed half of them at the beginning of the game, you would also feel bored, right? So can you..."

Gojo Satoru pointed at the coffin expressionlessly and made a gesture of wiping his neck towards Al, "Al, now is the perfect opportunity, why don't you just kill them? How do you kill the coffin? Can you just send it to the funeral home?"

"Hey! Give me respect for the dead, and respect for the coffin!"

"Oh, this coffin is actually trying to hold me hostage. Al, help me lift it and send it directly to the incinerator."

Al said cheerfully, "Okay, Go-chan."

"Hey! Asshole teacher! Hey! Do something! Your teammates will soon have no chance of resurrection!"

Under Hijikata Toshiro's heart-wrenching call, Sakata Ginpachi finally took two steps, suddenly jumped onto the coffin board, and then slid on the coffin like he was skiing, escaping the clutches of Al and Gojo Satoru.

Hijikata Jushiro was shocked and said, "My coffin! Help! My coffin is about to be worn away, stop it!"

Sakata Ginpachi said angrily: "Idiot, would you rather go into the incinerator or give up the plank under the coffin?"

"No, this won't work. You won't be able to slide very far using inertia..."

"Watch me."

Sakata Ginpachi took out a bundle of ropes from his backpack and lassoed the NPC elder who was walking on the street like a horse.

“Gah!”

The elder whose neck was strangled had a painful look on his face.

Hijikata Jushiro yelled, "Elder!"

Sakata Ginpachi's rope was firmly wrapped around the NPC elder's neck, and the coffin began to move with the elder's movements. Sakata Ginpachi said proudly: "This NPC is the one who travels between Central Street and the church. As long as we follow him, we can successfully reach the church, detoxify, and revive!"

"Hey, you bastard teacher, don't do such cruel things to the elders! Just let me die! I would rather go to the incinerator than bully the upright and kind elders!"

"Huh? Then you go into the crematorium alone. I'm going to the church to be resurrected with full blood, teacher."

Behind them, Al was shocked and said, "Wu-chan, look, they got a new mount - "Elder"! "

Hijikata Jushiro angrily shouted, "Hey, you golden-haired guy over there, you are not allowed to insult the elders!"

Gojo Satoru was extremely excited and said, "Al, give me one too!"

Hijikata Jushiro: “Hey!!!”

The next second, the blond-haired, blue-eyed boy sprinted over at a terrifying speed.

——Since Wu-Chang wants to be an elder, then he should work hard to help Wu-Chang. He is level 68!

Hijikata Jushiro panicked and said, "Hey! How can that guy be so fast? Are all his attribute points randomly allocated to speed? Elder! Run!"

As soon as he finished speaking, the elderly elder who had just been walking unsteadily with a cane suddenly began to run at full speed driven by the desire to survive.

Sakata Ginpachi and Hijikata Jushiro were horrified: "Elder!!!"

Waving his cane, the elder ran through the slime village, the goblin village, the wolf village, and the dragon's lair, and finally arrived at the thief's cave smoothly. After completing the task, the elder who had shouldered too much finally passed away peacefully.

Hijikata Jushiro: “…”

Hijikata Jushiro: “Elder!!!”

Sakata Ginpachi drank the resurrection fountain in the cave and poured some water on the coffin. The white-haired teacher and the black coffin, who were suffering from the poison debuff, were finally resurrected with full health.

The resurrected Hijikata Jushiro said with tears streaming down his face: "Elder, we will never forget your kindness. We will definitely avenge you, and we will never forgive those who tried to harm your family."

Sakata Ginpachi stood beside him, waving the elder's relic - a cane - handsomely.

"Well, good, Gin declares this to be Gin's most powerful weapon!"

Hijikata Jushiro was stunned for a moment, then he lifted up the elder's body and said, "Then this is my most powerful weapon!"

Al caught up: "..."

Gojo Satoru who caught up: “…”

Who is this guy who has been hurting the elders? !

Gojo Satoru was silent for a while, then said sourly, "It's great that I actually have an elder as a weapon."

"Would you like me to lend you a sword, Gojo?"

Al and Gojo Satoru turned their heads and saw Ieiri Shoko standing at the entrance of the cave. No one knew what she had been through. She was covered in shiny high-level armor and holding a luxurious sword inlaid with gems in her hand. Gojo Satoru was stunned. Before he could complain about how she got such equipment in the Slime Village, a second person appeared at the entrance of the cave.

“Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!”

The black-haired late-night rapper Katsura Kotaro held a goblin corpse and said proudly, "Sword? It's just a flashy weapon! The truly powerful weapons have the most ordinary appearance, such as - my goblin chief!"

The goblin chieftain, with his eyes rolled up, lay dead in his hands.

Gojo Satoru felt even more jealous.

"That's great. We actually have the Goblin Chieftain as a weapon."

The Six-Eyed God said that he had never been so envious of others in his life. Al looked at Gojo Satoru's envious expression, tilted his head, and asked in a low voice: "Go-chan, do you also want this kind of weapon? If you want it, I will find you the most powerful one."

"……real?"

"real."

Suddenly, a familiar voice came from the cave entrance: "If you have that kind of weapon, we have it too!"

Haibara Yu and Nanami Kento appeared behind Katsura Kotaro, holding up a huge dragon: "Look! Dragon Alec Tassa!"

Nanami Kento: “…”

I always feel it's a bit embarrassing. Is it too late for him to quit this dragon-slaying group now?

The late night rapper was shocked: "What? You actually got the legendary red dragon!"

Sakata Ginpachi complained: "Hey, how many other people's things did this crappy game incorporate? Is it really okay? Will it really not offend other companies?"

At this chaotic moment, the thieves in the cave rushed out in a swarm.

"There's an intruder!"

"Hehehe, you're here just in time. Leave your gems here!"

"Die! Foolish warriors!"

Katsura Kotaro lifted the Goblin Chieftain high up in the air, "Prepare to die? How dare you look down on the Goblin Chieftain? Then watch this!"

Huiyuan refused to give in and said, "Our Alektassa will never lose!"

Hijikata Jushiro said angrily: "Assholes, you don't even take the strongest elder seriously!"

Ieiri Naoko: “…”

Holding a large sword, Ieiri Naoko said indifferently, "Is this some kind of corpse party? Then I'm leaving."

In the chaos, Al quietly left the cave.

The melee in the cave was in full swing, with the sound of ping-pong being heard incessantly. Gojo Satoru, who was level 1 and had no weapon, squatted obediently next to Nozomi, waiting for Al to return with the most powerful weapon.

At this moment——

"What's a mere Dragon?"

A large hole exploded above the cave, and a young man with chestnut hair appeared in a flash, holding the king's body:

"It seems I'm not too late. Ginpachi-sensei, Hijikata-kun, I won a huge sum of money in the casino and used it to buy the king of this country. Now, I dried the king's body and made it into a top-level weapon."

Everyone: “…”

Hey! What did you do?! Gambled in the casino? Bought the king? Killed the king? And made the king the king?

Hijikata Jushiro complained fiercely: "Can't you just go buy a weapon?!"

Sakata Ginpachi was very moved: "Great, this time we are sure to win! Come on, kids, defeat these thieves, and the victory will belong to our Gintama High School!!!"

“Aaaaaaaaaaa——!”

Without warning, a laser cannon blew away the rocks above the cave, blowing away everyone in the cave. Kagura and Shimura Shinpachi flew into the air, holding a "Demon King" that was bigger than an apartment in their hands.

"Gin-chan! We cleared the last level of this game to get the most powerful weapon and brought the corpse of the "Demon King" here!"

Sakata Ginpachi, who was knocked to the ground by the gust of wind, was puzzled and said, "Hey! You all went straight to the final level, what's the point of us competing here to see who can kill the thief first?!"

Kagura laughed loudly towards the sky: "Hahahahahahaha! Die, all of you!"

"Listen to me!!!"

Gojo Satoru: “…”

With nothing in his hands, Gojo Satoru has never felt so weak, helpless and pitiful in his life.

Ah, what? He is the only one without a weapon? Even Nanami and Haibara have Dragon.

In the midst of this extreme chaos, a Gundam swooped down from far away and landed above everyone's heads.

“…”

The people who were shrouded by the shadow of Gundam slowly raised their heads and saw a red and white Gundam hovering above them. On the chest of Gundam was a picture of a smiling old man, with the words "Kenichi Owee Branch" written in large, bright letters.

Everyone: “…”

From high above, Al's slow voice came.

"Go-chan, Jie-chan and I are driving a level 68 Gundam to rescue you."

Next came the voice of Geto Suguru.

"Welcome to KFC Owee branch——"

The next second, heavy light cannons shot out from the old man's eyes, razing the entire forest to the ground.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa——Don’t play tricks on weird things!!!”

…

On this day, the dojo of the Gintama High School Kendo Club was reduced to ruins by a group of mysterious people. When the police arrived after receiving the report, all the suspects had already escaped. This mysterious bombing case officially became one of the ten unsolved mysteries of Gintama High School.