Gao Xiuwen said there was no need for that, "Miscarriage is not auspicious. It's best not to alarm the palace about this, lest Consort Xi feel uncomfortable if she finds out."
"Why do you look so pale? Are you still upset about the child?"
Why else could it be? Naturally, it's for Xilan and Su Yushan!
But could she say such a thing? Hongli had already made his decision, which proved that he was biased towards Su Yushan. What was the point of Gao Xiuwen bringing it up again?
He had already made his decision. If she were to refute or question it, wouldn't that be a loss of face for Hongli?
Furthermore, Su Yushan is still his darling. If she claims that Su Yushan and Xilan conspired to harm her child but cannot provide any evidence, then Hongli will definitely think that she is being unreasonable and framing Su Yushan.
Doing so would not only fail to avenge her deceased child, but would also cause Hongli to develop a grudge against her. She did not want to become a shallow, jealous woman like Jin Minjing, despised by Hongli.
Remembering what the old woman had said, Gao Xiuwen suppressed her resentment and didn't bring up the matter. "Losing the child is indeed very painful for me, but I don't want Fourth Master to worry about me. I will try my best to adjust my mindset. It's just that after the miscarriage, I experience unbearable abdominal pain every 15 minutes or so, which is very torturous."
The old woman asked the doctor, who said it was normal and would recover in about four or five days. Thank you for your concern, Fourth Master. I'm fine; you don't need to worry.
Even though she was the one suffering, she didn't complain. Instead, she comforted him. Her understanding made Hongli feel even more guilty. "It's my fault for not protecting you and making you suffer."
She wasn't afraid of suffering for him, nor was she afraid of him spoiling others; what she feared was that when she had a conflict with someone else, he would neglect her for another woman.
However, she knew very well that she was Hongli's first woman, and men usually have special feelings for their first woman. She believed that as long as she finished her postpartum confinement and resumed serving Hongli, this fading feeling would gradually warm up again.
Thinking this, Gao Xiuwen stopped feeling sorry for herself and forced a smile, saying, "It was my own carelessness that I failed to protect our child. Fourth Master, you don't need to blame yourself. I will take my medicine on time and take care of my health so that I can have children for you in the future."
He certainly hoped she could recover, but he wasn't in a hurry about the child. Therefore, Hongli didn't give a clear answer, only saying ambiguously:
"It would be best if you could figure it out. You go to sleep first, I'm going to take a shower and I'll come over to keep you company later."
After comforting Gao Xiuwen, Hongli went to the clean room, undressed, and soaked in a wooden tub, washing away the fatigue of the whole day with hot water.
As he leaned against the wooden tub, he couldn't help but recall the day Su Yushan got drunk and fell asleep in the tub. Chang Yue invited him over, and he carried her out of the tub. Her delicate and lovely appearance, like a lotus flower wet with water, was unforgettable to him, and the memory would always evoke longing.
The surging thoughts mixed with the steaming water disturbed his peace, making his whole body burn. At that moment, he wanted to see Su Yushan, to hold her in his arms without hesitation, to crush her into his very bones and blood, and to love her with all his might.
However, he was already at Lan Yue Pavilion, and if he were to detour to Hua Tang Pavilion, Gao Xiuwen, no matter how understanding she was, would likely harbor resentment towards Su Yushan.
After much deliberation, Hongli finally suppressed his thoughts and returned to Gao Xiuwen's bedroom.
At that time, Gao Xiuwen was not asleep, but was waiting for Hongli. It was rare for him to come over, and she cherished the opportunity to spend time with him. As long as she could talk to him, she would feel better.
Strangely, no matter how busy Hongli was during the day, he would be full of energy as soon as he arrived at Huatang Pavilion, always wanting to chat and joke with Su Yushan and discuss the mysteries of yin and yang harmony. But now that he has arrived at Lanyue Pavilion, he is feeling sleepy.
At first, when Gao Xiuwen spoke to him, he responded with a few words, but later he couldn't help but yawn. Upon seeing this, Gao Xiuwen immediately stopped talking.
"Fourth Master, are you sleepy? You should go to sleep, you have to get up early tomorrow!"
"My eyes are a little sore, so I'm going to sleep now. You should get some rest too, and don't overthink things. Everything will be alright." After giving him a few gentle words of advice, Hongli turned over, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.
Looking at his broad shoulders and back, Gao Xiuwen felt very uneasy. Even though he was right in front of her, she felt as if he were very far away.
In the past, the two of them had talked about everything under the sun and had a lot to say, but now he started to feel sleepy as soon as he lay down. Was he really tired, or did he have nothing to say to her?
Gao Xiuwen felt increasingly distressed as she thought about it, and could only comfort herself by saying that it was good that he came, at least it proved that he still cared about her.
The Moon-Viewing Pavilion was quiet, filled with heavy thoughts, while the Painting-Blossom Pavilion was still bustling with activity, as neither master nor servant slept.
Looking at the tightly closed door, Chang Yue sighed softly, "Is Fourth Master not coming again tonight?"
Flipping through the book in her hand, Su Yushan half-lyed in the tent and said casually, "He already said that it will be some time later, and he definitely won't be coming anytime soon. Let's ignore him."
Chang Yue felt a pang of melancholy. "How many days will I have to stay with Princess Gao? I can't possibly stay with her until the end of her postpartum period, can I?"
Seeing her looking so worried, Su Yushan teased, "What's wrong? Are you missing him?"
A joke made Chang Yue blush immediately, and she quickly clarified, "Fourth Master is the Princess's man, and I have no feelings for him. I'm just worried for the Princess."
Su Yushan did feel a little uncomfortable last night, but she has figured it out today and will no longer dwell on it. "When he is in Huatang Pavilion, the other maids also endure this. He can't come here every day, so we should learn to get used to it."
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