Chapter 144 if-Pei Line (18): She burned her hand with a cigarette...
That trembling call exhausted all of Shi Mingyue's pretense, leaving only her most primal and intense instincts.
Shi Mingyue gripped Yun Zhan's wrist tightly, refusing to let go no matter what, with astonishing strength.
"Hiss..." Yun Zhan gasped in pain, his face contorted in agony.
How come I never noticed before that Shi Mingyue could be so strong?
"She's probably afraid you'll run away, or maybe she thinks it's not real?" 21 analyzed rationally.
As expected, when Yun Zhan looked up and met Shi Mingyue's gaze, he could clearly feel that the other's fingertips were trembling slightly, while her palms were covered in cold sweat.
Shi Mingyue stared intently at Yun Zhan with her crimson eyes, tears already streaming down her face. She felt as if she had grasped him tightly, but he was like a handful of quicksand... that could slip through her fingers at any moment.
Her gaze greedily and desperately traced Yun Zhan's eyebrows, Yun Zhan's lips... and the vivid expression on her face caused by astonishment. Shi Mingyue was almost bewitched; she was trying to engrave all of this into her soul.
She was afraid that if she blinked, the person in front of her would vanish into thin air like she had in countless past hallucinations.
What I fear even more is that this isn't an illusion, that this is really Yun Zhan...
She was afraid that if she let go, Yun Zhan would disappear from her world again without any hesitation, just like in the illusion.
The fear of being abandoned and forgotten was a mark etched into her bones. This sudden reunion burned her very marrow, causing her excruciating pain that almost suffocated her.
Therefore, she cannot let go, not even for a second.
"Don't move."
Shi Mingyue's voice was squeezed out from deep in her throat, hoarse and unlike her own, with an almost pleading command: "Please, don't move... just let me watch a little longer."
Shi Mingyue gave Yun Zhan no time to react or struggle, and almost dragged her away from the window seat.
Yun Zhan staggered as she led him away, and could only follow passively.
"Please talk to me, okay? Don't leave without saying goodbye again... I'm really going to break down." Shi Mingyue said almost in tears, large drops of tears falling to the floor. Yun Zhan panicked; she had never seen a girl cry so hard before.
The door to the innermost private room in the coffee shop clicked shut, isolating it from all outside noise and prying eyes.
The private room was dimly lit and so quiet that only the two people's disordered breathing could be heard.
Shi Mingyue released her grip, but her gaze remained fixed on Yun Zhan like a vine, refusing to move an inch.
Looking at Yun Zhan so close to her, her throat bobbed uncontrollably. She tried her best to hide her suppressed emotions. She wanted to question Yun Zhan: If you really came out of the illusion, why didn't you come to find her immediately?! Even if you had something to do at the time, why didn't you send a single message for more than ten days?! She was so worried about her... so worried that she couldn't sleep day and night... even a phone call or a text message would have been enough.
Shi Mingyue stared at Yun Zhan, her eyes filled with undisguised longing, her gaze brimming with a mad desire to get close, to touch, and to meld the other into her very bones.
She instinctively wanted to sit down next to Yun Zhan, to feel her real body temperature, and to fill the emptiness that tormented her day and night.
However, when she saw Yun Zhan's bewildered eyes, Shi Mingyue's surging flames were doused with cold water.
Never mind... it would scare her.
Don't let this overwhelming emotion push her any further.
Shi Mingyue took a deep breath, forced herself to take a step back, and chose to sit down opposite Yun Zhan.
Even across a small square table, Shi Mingyue's gaze was like an impenetrable net, firmly enveloping Yun Zhan.
But there was no longer any trace of the gentleness and propriety in his eyes, only the purest longing and yearning.
Shi Mingyue stared at him for a long time until her chaotic heartbeat calmed down a little before she slowly spoke, her voice a little hoarse.
"After I came out of the illusion, I thought you had left... I was sad for a long time at that time."
When Shi Mingyue finished speaking, her voice paused, and her eyelashes trembled almost imperceptibly.
It wasn't just sadness; she hadn't eaten or drunk anything for three days, and was then forcibly injected with glucose to keep her alive. Finally, her family chained her to her room, and only when she was able to muster some strength did they unlock the chains, giving her a chance to go out.
Shi Mingyue swallowed all her bitterness, which transformed into a faint, bitter smile on her lips.
She didn't want Yun Zhan to worry, and she didn't want to use her own pain to hold her hostage.
So she chose the most understated words to gloss over those hellish days: "I cried for two days and worried about you for a long time."
"I haven't contacted you because... I've been trapped by someone, like being monitored..."
Yun Zhan coughed twice, his voice filled with fatigue and apology: "I was in a bad mood at the time, so I couldn't contact you. I'm sorry... I'm really sorry."
"Trapped? Monitored?"
Shi Mingyue panicked. She didn't even have time to dwell on the "I'm sorry" before she leaned forward abruptly, her voice urgent: "Is it a person or something else...?"
Countless possibilities flashed through her mind: Was it a demon? Or a human? Or the entanglement of some kind of evil spirit?
Either way, it would be enough to terrify her.
"It's a person."
Yun Zhan gave an affirmative answer, which was even more unbearable for Shi Mingyue.
Shi Mingyue's face instantly darkened, and her eyes, which had just been misty with moisture, now filled with a terrifying chill and ferocity.
All vulnerability and affection were replaced by an almost tyrannical protective instinct.
"Yun Zhan, tell me."
Her voice was low, each word seemingly squeezed out from between her teeth, carrying an unyielding coldness: "Tell me who it is... I'll deal with her right now."
Yun Zhan patted her hand, but his words made Shi Mingyue's heart sink even deeper: "It's okay, you can't interfere in these things."
Shi Mingyue clearly saw the fleeting struggle, pain, and... hesitant expression in Yun Zhan's eyes.
In a flash, Shi Mingyue realized something.
The color drained from his face instantly, his lips turned pale, and he began to tremble uncontrollably.
She looked at Yun Zhan, her lips pressed tightly together, each word trembling with accusation: "It's Pei Yanxi, isn't it?..."
"...She likes you, and then she's got you trapped."
The air seemed to freeze at that moment.
Yun Zhan fell silent.
She neither nodded nor shook her head, but that silence itself was the cruelest form of acquiescence.
Shi Mingyue felt as if the whole world was spinning...
"I'll go talk to her."
Shi Mingyue rubbed her temples, her tone unusually ruthless: "She still has to give the Shi family face."
Her gaze returned to Yun Zhan's face, her calm eyes churning with intense emotions. She was accusing him and venting her feelings to him: "Yun Zhan, you created a wedding for me in the illusion before. I don't believe you don't like me... I swore an oath to my ancestors in the ancestral hall to marry you and be your wife... I will marry no one but you."
Every word she uttered was resounding. She had knelt for so long; if she couldn't marry Yun Zhan in the end, what would all those self-righteous vows of eternal love mean?
"You promised me you would make me happy."
Shi Mingyue took a deep breath, her tone turning icy: "I will negotiate with Pei Yanxi, you don't need to go back to her anymore."
After saying that, Shi Mingyue's face turned completely gloomy. She deftly picked up the purse placed to the side, took out her phone, and slender fingers swiped across the screen, clearly preparing to dial Pei Yanxi's number immediately.
However, her wrist was cut off by a slightly cool hand.
Yun Zhan pressed down on her phone, not with much force, but enough to prevent Shi Mingyue from moving any further.
"No."
Yun Zhan's voice was somewhat unsteady: "I wasn't... with her either."
As he said this, Yun Zhan's gaze unconsciously shifted to the blurry oil painting on the wall of the private room, a complex emotion flashing across his eyes.
Yun Zhan withdrew his gaze and looked at Shi Mingyue again, his eyes calm: "I never belonged here... In a while, I should leave this world. So... I'm sorry, I may have to disappoint you."
"leave?"
Shi Mingyue was stunned, her brain unable to process the meaning of those words for a moment: "Go back...?"
"right."
Yun Zhan nodded, confirming the possibility she least dared to imagine: "Literally, I am not from this world, and when the time comes, I will have to go back."
...
Shi Mingyue felt as if the whole world had collapsed in an instant.
The world spun around.
A buzzing sound filled my ears, Yun Zhan's face blurred before my eyes, and everything around me lost its sound and color, leaving only an endless expanse of white.
A huge, indescribable sense of emptiness instantly overwhelmed her.
This is not a breakup.
Heartbreak is a sharp, excruciating pain; it's the torment of love and hate intertwined; it's knowing that the other person still exists somewhere in the world, but no longer belongs to you.
But that's not how it feels now.
It's more like a... final farewell.
It's like the closest family member in your life who, instead of moving to another city or arguing and breaking ties with you, calmly tells you that she is about to turn into a speck of dust in the universe, completely disappearing from this space-time and from your life, leaving no trace.
That feeling was a pure, bottomless emptiness and loneliness.
It's as if the whole world has lost its anchor point connecting you, leaving you all alone...
Shi Mingyue felt a little short of breath, so she clutched her throat, trying to relieve her pain.
On the other side, Pei Yanxi had a small tablet computer on her lap, and a pair of black wireless earphones in her ears that clearly transmitted all the sounds in the restaurant's private room.
She had previously installed a listening device on Yun Zhan's phone.
Sound transmitted through an electric current has less warmth than sound heard face-to-face, but it is therefore clearer and more piercing.
"No."
Yun Zhan's voice carried a hint of etherealness she had never heard before: "I wasn't... with her either."
In that instant, it was as if all the sounds of the world had vanished.
Pei Yanxi's movements froze completely; only the faint noise from her earpiece, indicating that the conversation was still going on, proved that time had not stopped.
"Not...together?"
These three words pierced her eardrums... precisely striking the softest spot in her heart.
Pei Yanxi's cold smile froze, then shattered like fragile porcelain.
The color drained from her face at a visible speed, turning into a sickly, transparent paleness. Her eyes seemed to have been instantly stripped of all their luster, leaving only an empty, lifeless gray.
pain.
A dense, sharp pain spread from her heart, like countless ants gnawing at her flesh.
She instinctively tightened her grip, instantly stubbing out the cigarette between her fingers. The tobacco scattered, and the scalding ash fell onto the back of her hand, burning a small red dot.
She was completely unaware.
So that's how it is.
Her feelings for Yun Zhan were so casually defined in Yun Zhan's explanation to someone else as "not being together".
How ridiculous... Is this an attempt to distance themselves from the situation?
It was as if Pei Yanxi's existence was a troublesome thing that needed to be explained and its boundaries drawn.
All her pride, all her careful planning, all her self-hypnosis, at this moment, turned into a huge joke.
She defeated Shi Mingyue and kept Yun Zhan by her side, but ultimately suffered a crushing defeat...
What chilled her to the bone was the evasiveness and hesitation she detected in Yun Zhan's tone.
That means that Yun Zhan was thinking of her when he said those words.
After weighing the options, whether to appease Shi Mingyue or for some other reason, he ultimately chose to push her away completely with those words.
She was like a private treasure that couldn't be seen in the light of day, hidden away when needed, or even denied in existence.
Pei Yanxi slowly, very slowly, leaned towards the office window. The cold glass pressed against her cheek. She slowly closed her eyes, her long eyelashes trembling, concealing the pain and humiliation surging in her eyes.
After a long while... she opened her eyes, the ashes in them were suppressed again, replaced by a deeper... more obsessive darkness.
Pei Yanxi picked up the broken cigarette and, with an almost self-destructive force, stubbed out the remaining embers on the burn on the back of her hand.
"hiss...."
The slight sting instantly cleared her confused mind.
A slow, poignant, and insane smile curved his lips.
Not together?
Yun Zhan, I will let you know.
We can only be together.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
