Chapter 47 The Crown Prince's Rebirth.
Li Pan pulled Lou Xueying up from the ground.
The ground was cold, and her knees were stiff. She stumbled and bumped into Li Pan.
Li Pan released her and asked, "After His Majesty let you return to your residence, did he come looking for you again?"
"No." Lou Xueying lowered her head.
"Did he say anything more about what would happen in the future?"
No, not at all.
"Then he..." Li Pan paused for a moment, "...does he have any complaints about me?"
“He…he…” Lou Xueying hesitated for a moment, then whispered, “He felt that the Marquis and I were not suitable for each other and wanted us to divorce, but I refused.”
"What do you mean by 'not suitable'?" Li Pan frowned. "Does it mean that I'm a rough man and not good enough for you, but he and you became friends through music, and you two are the perfect match?"
Lou Xueying said helplessly, "My lord..."
“I understand,” Li Pan said. “What he said does make some sense. But that’s exactly what I told him, but he wouldn’t listen and insisted on granting this marriage. Now he’s going back on his word? What does he take marriage for, a game?”
Li Pan sneered inwardly.
Lou Xueying was somewhat flustered. She hadn't expected Li Pan to seem angry not at her, but at Emperor Jinghui. However, fearing Li Pan might do something foolish in a fit of anger, she quickly said, "My lord, don't be anxious. His Majesty... he was just saying that. Seeing I refused, he didn't force me. His Majesty isn't senile; he still knows your importance and wouldn't dare directly anger you. Otherwise, he wouldn't have found a reason to transfer you away and then secretly summoned me; he should have directly issued an edict to cancel our marriage..."
Li Pan rubbed his temples: "So you're safe for now, right?"
"I...I don't know..." Lou Xueying said softly, "I'm not sure..."
“Here’s what we’ll do,” Li Pan said. “Since he’s both transferred me out of the capital and had the Empress summon you to the palace, it means he still has some reservations and doesn’t dare to act openly. As long as you stay in the mansion, pretend to be sick, and insist on not going out, he can’t possibly take you away right in front of my mother. I will also have Lü Gui strengthen the guards, and report any suspicious activity immediately.”
Lou Xueying asked in surprise, "Does what you're saying, Lord Marquis, mean... you're leaving after all?"
Li Pan: "We can't delay any longer. If we delay any longer, and the inns along the way don't see me in person, His Majesty will find out that I disobeyed the imperial decree. The evidence against me is irrefutable. You don't want to be a widow, do you? But since there's nothing happening at the border right now, and it's just an excuse he made up, don't worry, I'll find a way back soon."
Lou Xueying remained silent.
Li Pan glanced at her again: "After I leave, go change your clothes. You were kneeling for so long, the ground is dirty, and you even touched me. I'm covered in sweat and dust, I'm even dirtier."
Lou Xueying clenched her fist, her nails lightly scratching her palm, and said hesitantly, "Lord Marquis... you don't actually have to come back. As long as you agree to let me go to the Northwest with you, away from the capital, this place of trouble, we will both be safe."
Li Pan: "Even if we return to the Northwest, it won't be now. I must ride at full speed to make up for the time lost in the capital. If you ride with me at high speed, you definitely won't be able to keep up. But if you don't come with me and instead take a carriage, won't you be alone? Even if I find you guards, it won't help. What if we encounter someone even more powerful on the road and you get kidnapped? If I go to the court for an explanation, and the court tells me it was all done by bandits and outlaws, what can I do?"
He reached out and gently patted her head, continuing, "Susu, simply running away won't solve the problem. Today he can use an imperial edict to summon me out of the capital, and you'll come with me. But tomorrow he can use the same edict to summon me back. Are you going to come back with me then? He might not even need to use an edict. Let me ask you, if you come with me to the Northwest, and one day you suddenly receive news that your parents are seriously ill and want to see you one last time before they die, will you go or not? If you go, aren't you afraid it's just a false rumor spread by His Majesty? If you don't go, what if it's true?"
Lou Xueying fell silent again.
"The root of the problem isn't whether we're in the capital or in the northwest. As long as I'm a subject, I can't disobey the emperor's orders." He paused, then continued, "But even as a subject, I can always find ways to make the ruler abandon his unrealistic fantasies. It's just that there must be something I haven't done well enough, which is why he thinks I, Li Pan, am incompetent and that my wife is easy to bully. Give me some time, and I'll come up with a solution as soon as possible."
Lou Xueying froze, opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something.
Li Pan: "Do you have anything else to say? If not, I'm really leaving this time." After thinking for a moment, he added, "Since you only married me to avoid His Majesty and didn't really like a warrior like me, then don't wrong yourself in the future. You don't have to lower yourself to please me. I'm already very grateful that you're willing to stay at home with my mother."
Lou Xueying said in a low voice, "Doesn't Your Excellency feel angry that you have been deceived and used by me?"
Li Pan twitched the corner of his mouth.
He wasn't exactly angry, but he was certainly a little disappointed. It turned out his mother was right; he had indeed been delusional. A rich young lady like her wouldn't be interested in a roughneck like him. But it was only a little; more than that, he felt a sense of relief, as if things had finally gotten back on track and were unfolding as he had expected.
“It’s just back to what I initially thought: a marriage of convenience, where each party gets what they want,” Li Pan said. “You manage the Marquis’s mansion and take care of my mother, and I’ll deal with His Majesty for you—but your problem is indeed more difficult than that of a typical marriage alliance.”
Lou Xueying couldn't help but ask, "Why did you forgive me so easily, Marquis? That's not just anyone, it's His Majesty! If you want to protect yourself, the best thing you should do is send me to His Majesty and then marry another wife. There are plenty of people in the capital who are willing to manage the Marquis's mansion and take care of your mother. It's not like you can't do without me."
Li Pan: "Why should I give you away? You are my wife. Why should I give you to His Majesty just because he takes a liking to you? You're not some harmless object; you're a living person! Even disregarding your feelings, what benefit would I gain from giving you away? Does His Majesty expect me to be promoted from Marquis to Prince? Wouldn't people then see me, Li Pan, as someone who sells his wife for personal gain?"
Lou Xueying remained silent.
She twisted the hem of her clothes, biting her lip and remaining silent.
Li Pan glanced outside. The sky was no longer pitch black, but was beginning to turn faintly blue. In a while, it would turn a pale white.
Li Pan: "I really have to go."
Having said that, he reached out and opened the window latch.
The window had just been pushed open a crack when he felt someone pounce on him from behind, and his waist was tightly embraced by a pair of slender arms.
He paused in his movements.
"My lord..." Lou Xueying's voice trembled, "Back then... I didn't marry you because I liked you, and I did... have some intentions of currying favor with you. But I never felt that marrying you was a disservice, nor did I ever think there was anything wrong with being a warrior... Actually, I was very afraid that you would look down on me, afraid that you would think I was a frivolous person..."
Li Pan remained silent, unsure how to respond.
Lou Xueying mustered her courage and said again, "These past few days, I've missed Lord Marquis very much... I, I'm telling the truth..."
Li Pan's eyelashes trembled violently, his throat bobbed, and he gave a soft "hmm".
Lou Xueying froze. Did he not believe her?
He turned around, ran his fingers through her long hair, and vigorously stroked the back of her head, saying, "Take good care of yourself, don't get sick too often. If you need anything, find Lü Gui and have him contact me."
He let go of her, then pushed open the window and silently climbed out.
Lou Xueying rushed to the window, only to see a blurry shadow that quickly disappeared into the dark rooftops.
A cool night breeze brushed through her hair. She paused for a moment, then slowly slid down the wall and sat on the floor, burying her face between her knees.
Did she do something stupid again?
Mingming initially only intended to feign weakness and half-truthfully tell Li Pan about her relationship with Emperor Jinghui, seeking his protection. However, Li Pan's reaction truly surprised her. Those things that she considered enough to keep her up at night and cause her endless thoughts seemed utterly insignificant to him.
He was neither angry at her for concealing the truth, nor did he feel fooled or ashamed after learning that she had only used him.
He acted completely unlike the man she knew—calm, composed, and even had the leisure to suggest she change her clothes. Suspecting he was just putting on an act, and wanting to salvage his impression of her, she poured out her heart again, confiding her feelings to him.
But his reaction was so lukewarm that her heart sank instantly.
If this had happened in the past, when they were deeply in love, he would have been tempted to make some verbal advances or even take advantage of her after hearing her confession. But he didn't today, which means he's no longer the same person who believes everything she says.
Lou Xueying wondered, was this her fault? Given her unbearable experience in her previous life, wasn't it perfectly normal for her to hold back against Li Pan? In her view, admitting that she had a past relationship with the emperor had exhausted all her courage.
But is this Li Pan's fault again? Li Pan has already been deceived by her once. It's already a good thing that he didn't hold it against her. Can we expect him to continue to trust her without reservation?
—But Susu, you made me believe in you, but did you ever believe in me even a little bit?
His voice echoed in her ears once again, and Lou Xueying felt a sharp pain in her chest. She grabbed her collar and repeatedly pounded her chest.
He's right, she just can't believe it.
I can't believe he would be so unconcerned about his wife's past; I can't believe he could so easily accept her using him; I can't believe he would judge her as a "human being" rather than a "woman"; I can't believe that after learning the emperor coveted her, he didn't blame her, but instead thought that perhaps he, as a husband, hadn't done enough to embolden the emperor.
The warmth of his body still lingered on my fingertips, but now the room was empty again.
He said he would be back soon, but how soon? And once he's back, how will they get along?
Lou Xueying didn't know.
She began to regret it, regretting that before he left, she had even forgotten to tell him to be careful on the road.
-
The Eastern Palace.
The moon, like a fleeting cloud, seemed to be fading away. The Imperial Guards, carrying lanterns in one hand and halberds in the other, patrolled the Crown Prince's palace with steady, light steps, about to begin a new round of deployment and patrol.
Suddenly, the lead guard stopped in his tracks, looked towards the direction of the sleeping quarters, and asked hesitantly, "Were those windows open just now?"
The guards following behind exchanged glances and shook their heads.
During the last patrol, it seems the windows were not opened. Moreover, His Highness the Crown Prince does not like to have windows open when he sleeps, so they should be closed.
"Isn't it Eunuch Cao on duty tonight? How could he make such a mistake? He didn't even close the window properly. It opened with just a gust of wind. What if His Highness catches a cold?" The guard muttered to himself. He was about to call the eunuch on night duty at the palace gate to close the window when he suddenly froze when he reached the corridor of the sleeping quarters.
The reason is simple: from a distance, I only saw that the window was half open, but now that I'm closer, I'm shocked to find that there is a person standing by the window!
The man, dressed in a dark silk nightgown with his black hair loose, stood quietly behind the half-open window without making a sound. If it weren't for the faint light from the lantern in the guard's hand illuminating his face, he would have remained hidden in the dark night for who knows how long.
"Your Highness?" the guard asked in surprise, quickly bowing. "Why is Your Highness still not resting? Is there anything you need?"
The prince stared at him intently for a long while, then suddenly gave a strange smile and closed the window.
The guard kept his head down and didn't see the prince's expression. When he looked up again, he only saw a tightly closed window and couldn't help but feel a little confused.
Despite his confusion, the Crown Prince did not need to explain his actions to him. Since he had not been given any instructions, he could continue to perform his duties and patrol.
As soon as the guards returned to their ranks, a dim yellow candlelight suddenly appeared in the dark bedroom.
The eunuch on night duty finally noticed the light coming from behind him. He quickly knocked on the door and asked respectfully, "Your Highness is awake? Is there anything you need from this servant?"
"No," came the Crown Prince's cold voice from inside the hall. "No one is allowed to enter."
Eunuch Cao's eyelids twitched, and he replied "Yes," before shrinking back and continuing to stand at the door.
How strange. His Highness the Crown Prince has never had the habit of waking up at night. Why did he suddenly wake up today? Judging from his voice, he doesn't seem to be in a good mood. What is he doing in there all night?
Eunuch Cao was lost in thought.
Inside the sleeping quarters, the Crown Prince held up a candle, his five fingers slowly stroking the zither placed in front of him.
This zither was given to him by Yao Biyue yesterday—no, it's past midnight now, it was yesterday. She not only stated that she didn't want to marry him, but also hinted that he could give the zither to someone more suitable.
Yao Biyue.
The crown prince closed his eyes.
That idiot, that wicked woman.
If he could, he would kill this woman right now.
But now is not the time.
He took a deep breath and told himself that a small act of impatience could ruin a great plan. Killing Yao Biyue would be easy, but Yao Biyue was Su Su's friend, and he absolutely could not let Su Su's resentment towards him grow even stronger because of such a cunning and treacherous woman.
—He was reborn tonight.
Before falling asleep, for some reason, the image of the beautiful, startled face of Lady Wu'an, standing on the Shuishi Bridge, kept lingering in his mind.
He knew perfectly well that his heart skipped a beat at that moment.
However, he believes that everyone has a love of beauty, and this was just a subconscious reaction of his, which cannot be considered transgression.
But at night, he still couldn't forget what had happened during the day.
This is not right.
He called for help, lit some calming incense for himself, and finally fell asleep.
Then he had a long dream.
The shock, confusion, bewilderment, and anger he felt upon waking had all passed. He spent an hour calming himself, recalling the absurd life he had experienced in his dream, and clarifying his current situation.
He was reborn, reborn at a point in time that he had never experienced in his previous life.
He was also reborn when he was still a naive fool.
The first half of their two lives were completely the same, but everything suddenly changed from the day of the flower-viewing banquet.
He thought of the Crown Princess position that had remained unfilled for so long, of the Marquis of Wu'an who had suddenly become his wife, of his father's sudden change of attitude towards him a few days ago, of the imperial edict that had been causing controversy in the court these past few days, and of his reunion with her at the Shuishi Bridge yesterday—his fleeting glance had resulted in her fleeing in panic.
Everything is perfectly clear.
If he can be reborn, then of course they can too.
But why did God have to play such a cruel trick on him? Why couldn't He just let him be reborn?
Why should he be overjoyed by her vibrant life while simultaneously suffering from her avoidance of him? Even if he were to let her be reborn, it would be one thing; he was the one who wronged her, and it's only natural that she hates, despises, and avoids him—that's all his own fault. He has no right to touch a naive and innocent girl like her again. He's willing to pay any price and endure any hardship to repay all his debts to her.
But why did that old man also get reborn? And why was he reborn before him? He's the root of all the tragedies. What right does he have to try to take away her freedom in this life? What right does he have to harm someone who knows nothing about her in this life?!
The prince stared at the long zither in front of him and suddenly stretched out his finger and ripped it!
The string, so fine and resilient, should not have broken so easily, but under his forceful tearing, it emitted a sharp cracking sound and snapped in an instant.
A few streaks of blood slowly trickled down between his fingers. He leaned on the table, breathing heavily, his eyes bloodshot.
Yao Biyue didn't recognize the zither, but he did.
This was the zither that old man had given to Susu. He couldn't forget the devastating shock of her being made a Noble Consort by imperial decree; he couldn't forget the old man standing before him, recounting his past relationship with her with such an air of half-advice and half-bragging; he couldn't forget the palace banquet, where she and her mother sat on either side of the old man, giving him no kindness whatsoever, yet frequently exchanging flirtatious glances with him; he couldn't forget how, when she was emaciated from illness, she begged him to return the zither to her, and he, in a moment of pity, gave it to her, only to have her repeatedly trample on his bottom line with it.
Finally, the violin broke.
She ordered it to be smashed in the deep palace amidst the heavy snowfall.
That was a day he would never forget. At that time, he had been in a cold war with her for half a month and had not seen her at all. He only listened to the palace servants below reporting her movements every day.
However, on that day, he went to court as usual, but halfway through the morning court session, he saw the imperial guards who were watching over her, looking around hesitantly at the entrance of the Ganyang Hall, as if they wanted to go in but then retreated.
This is not a place where that guard should be, nor is it a time when that guard should be here. Yet, the fact that someone has arrived at this location at this time can only mean one thing—
His blood turned cold in an instant.
Upon summoning the person before him and hearing their trembling report, he felt a sudden darkness engulf him, and tumbled off the dragon throne.
The ministers and palace attendants rushed forward, exclaiming "Your Majesty!" and surrounded him.
He was furious, dismissed everyone, and ran out of the Ganyang Hall like a madman, rushing wildly into the depths of the palace gardens.
There was no time to summon the imperial carriage, and the dragon palanquin was useless. He relied on his two legs to run wildly all the way until he tore off the cumbersome crown, until he threw away the heavy cloak, until his throat was cold, his lips were sore, and his head was dizzy.
He finally reached the gate of the palace where she lived.
The guards, maids, and female doctors, dozens of people, knelt in the courtyard, their faces as white as paper, trembling like leaves, awaiting his judgment.
He tripped and fell on the floor covered with shards of lyre wood.
The wooden shard pierced his palm, but he felt no pain. He only felt a surge of anger, looking around as he shouted, "Who did this? Who gave you permission to smash this zither? Do you know this is her favorite zither? A bunch of unruly servants, daring to touch her things without permission! I will kill you all!"
No one dared to answer him; no one could answer him.
He crouched down, trying to piece the broken instrument back together, but while piecing it back together was easy, lifting it was difficult. It couldn't even leave the ground; if he lifted it even slightly, it would immediately scatter from his arms like a mirage, leaving only a mess.
He knelt in the snow, only daring to look at the scattered fragments in front of him, but hesitant to step into the house just a few steps away.
Finally, it was Eunuch Cao, who was by his side, who mustered up his courage and, with a sob in his voice, said, "Your Majesty, the Empress is afraid of the cold. How can you leave her alone in the room?"
He staggered to his feet like a lost soul, and finally pushed open the heavy, vermilion wooden door himself.
She lay quietly on the small couch by the window, covered with a cloak and a thin blanket, her expression peaceful, as if she were asleep.
But he immediately noticed that she was even thinner than she had been half a month ago, almost like a skeleton, and any weight on her seemed to crush her.
"Shh...shh..." He collapsed to the ground, unable to stand up no matter what he did. He could only crawl little by little to her bedside and stare at her intently.
"Susu, don't scare me... I was wrong, I was wrong, I shouldn't have treated you like that, I shouldn't have gone so many days without coming to see you, please get up and look at me, just one look, okay?" He trembled as he pulled back her thin blanket, revealing a pale, bare pair of hands.
The hand warmer in his hands was still warm, and he felt like he had seen a savior. He quickly shoved the hand warmer into her arms and said, shivering, "Susu, you're just a little cold, right? I'll stay with you, I'll stay with you..."
He took off his dragon robe, wrapped it around her, and carefully held her in his arms.
With a clatter, the heater rolled off her drooping arm and fell to the ground.
He stared at her blankly, his fingers trembling as he touched her cheek, trying to straighten her head that was tilted to one side. But every time he finally straightened it and let go, her head would softly tilt to the side again.
It was as if she didn't want to be so close to him.
His tears fell, drop by drop, onto her face.
“Shh—” He finally realized that she would never open her eyes to look at him again, that she would never even say a word against him again, and that he had kept her by his side for more than a year, but now he could no longer keep her.
He broke down in tears.
She left just like that, in a snowy winter, deep within the towering palace walls, nameless, without rank, and without a sound.
He was not given any last words.
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