…
[God, I have been to many places in these years. I secretly went to Doomsday City for a walk and bought a lot of painting supplies. I want to paint him one by one in the remaining decades.] Lin Guang's voice.
【……】God has no voice.
[It seems like you haven't talked to me for a long time. Am I no longer useful? It doesn't matter. I can talk to myself.] Lin Guang said.
…
[God, I met Shan Tiantian today. He gave me a letter from Lewis, saying he would treat me to a meal some other day. I am beginning to look forward to that day. What day is 'some other day'? ] Lin Guang's voice.
…
[God, several years have passed, and 'someday' still hasn't come.] Lin Guang's voice.
…
[God, I have taken in many children. They are noisy all day and all night long. I can't sleep.] Lin Guang's voice.
…
[God, he showed up at the dinner today and he looked very tired. I secretly followed him and helped him kill some people who wanted to attack him, although he didn't know.] Lin Guang's voice.
…
[God, I started shooting myself in recent years, but I feel nothing but pain. Why? Some humans smile so happily when they shoot themselves.]
[It is difficult for me to perceive positive emotions. Distorted negative emotions always accompany me. I don’t understand why I have to laugh when I am happy, nor do I understand why I have to cry when my companions die. ]
[If I had met him earlier, would he and I be different? ]
…
【……】
[It hurts.]
…
[God, Tretia died for him.]
…
【Su Xiaobi jumped for him. 】
…
【I didn’t expect Yao Wen wasn’t a traitor. 】
…
【Noah finally held on for a long time. 】
…
[It's ironic that Mori died in the church.]
…
【It’s so cold.】
…
【The painting is gone.】
…
I saw him.
…
【He still hates me.】
…
[God, I listened to you and saved so many people I hated, but no one saved me.]
[I drew 1,200 pictures for him, all of which were burned.]
[The more than 100 hours of videotapes of his live broadcasts that I kept are also gone.]
[I planted strawberries, but now the flowerbed is not mine. I tried to find roses, but there are few flowers in the world.]
[I wanted to find my painting supplies, but the last set was also blown up. They called me a demon.]
[If even he fears me and hates me, I will have nothing left. ]
[God, I don’t want to call you God anymore. To me, he is more like a new little God—the God who saved me and allowed me to keep living.]
【Isn't it painful to gain and then lose? 】
[But haven’t I ever even “gotten” anything? ]
[I saved so many people, but no one came back to save me.]
…
【New God. 】
【I have never been rescued.】
[…Save me once, okay? ]
…
"Da, da, da."
The overlapping and chaotic memory images made Su Mingan retreat continuously, and he retreated to the edge of the window.
In a trance, there seemed to be a figure wearing Hanfu, with white embroidery of pine, crane and bamboo leaves reflected on the cloth. The person stayed silently in the rain, holding an oil-paper umbrella.
Blood flowers spread in the water one after another. The figure in Hanfu moved slightly, turned his head, and looked at Su Mingan with dull eyes.
Su Mingan saw this familiar look.
This made him feel that
He almost collapsed.
…
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