[“Which of the two was copied and who disappeared? Who smiled with two smiles? Whose voice spoke for both voices? Who nodded for both heads? Whose gesture raised the teaspoon to his lips? Who peeled off the other’s skin? Who is still alive and who has passed away, entangled in whose palm lines?”]
【——Selected Poems of Wislawa Szymborska】
…
…
【Today is the 32nd year since the catastrophe, first encounter.】
[He has a kind of approachable temperament. I seem to understand who I have been waiting for. I invited him to take a walk with me, and he was not afraid of me. This is a perfect start. I believe we will become good friends until the end of my life. ]
…
"Da, da, da."
Su Ming'an stepped back step by step, his vision spinning and tilting in the resonance, and countless emotions colliding in his mind.
Heavy rain, red blood, blue blood, broken experimental fluid, mud, dust, flying broken ginkgo leaves... these were all he could see.
When the back of his shoe felt empty, he immediately grabbed the protruding piece of glass next to him to prevent himself from falling, and blood flowed down his palm.
He could not hear the voices of Captain Mu and Xiao Mei, and only the gloomy voice of Lin Guang remained in his ears.
The impact of this emotional resonance far exceeded his ability to resist.
...Because he and Lin Guang have almost nothing in common. His emotional resonance with Akto is completely different.
Lin Guang stood in the hall, head slightly lowered. Even his expression had lost its sense of reality, shadows covering the only movement of his facial features, like a still stone sculpture.
…
[That night, I saw him through the window of the City of God. He was sorting out the paints in Qiu Li's room. What was so good about those gouaches?]
He must be very cold.
【I'm going to find him.】
…
The scarlet, tangled hose was tangled wildly behind Lin Guang, like waves of wheat under the autumn wind. His fingers seemed to be held by the evening breeze, bending subconsciously, but unable to hold anything.
He looked at Su Mingan who was standing at the edge of the window.
Su Mingan, his body covered in blood.
Su Mingan with hazy eyes.
Su Mingan was just one step away from falling.
Su Mingan looks very painful.
Lin Guang felt a subtle sense of pleasure in his heart.
Like an innocent child, he felt the joy of revenge, but also the unspeakable bitterness and pain. He was obviously very happy, but also very sad. He seemed to have felt this feeling many times.
When he shot himself and strangled himself, he felt this mixture of joy and pain.
Because many emotions have never been experienced and their definitions are not clear, it is impossible to judge what they are.
What distinguishes humans from animals is not human nature, but social nature. Social nature is generated from the interaction between people, such as communication, walking, and cooperation. Only by constantly summarizing the experience of these things can people become more and more like "humans".
But he didn't.
He doesn't look like one at all.
…
【I crawled toward him.】
[He actually smiled.]
[Is it funny to see me dying on the ground? ]
[I took a walk with him at night yesterday, and he was obviously very happy. If he likes the scenery before the century disaster, he doesn't need Qiu Li to paint it. I can show him as many as he wants. I already understand. I want to find a person with black hair and gray eyes so much, it turns out that I want to meet him. ]
[I wanted to tell him that I wanted to be friends with him. But he pointed the gun at me.]
【Why? 】
【……】
[Just because I have the "Faction BOSS" logo in his field of vision? ]
So I can't have good intentions towards him?
So he must reject me?
…
【I see. 】
[The gods told me that I only need to order the Fenghuo gathering place to hand him over directly. So this is the correct way to make friends.]
…
Lin Guang walked towards Su Mingan.
"Lin Guang, does it have to be like this?"
Su Mingan's voice was very soft and slow, even kind. During the Dawn War, when he was spreading the Lighthouse Church, Su Mingan used this soft storytelling tone, which was extremely deceptive.
"You are the person Aktor trusts the most. You have the highest administrator privileges, and you are the only one who can fight against the gods. If you attack me again, there will be no hope for the ruined world." Su Ming'an said softly, "You are his best companion. Don't let him down."
Lin Guang stopped.
They looked at each other from a distance of about ten steps, and Lin Guang suddenly said:
"Then why didn't you say so earlier?"
Su Mingan said "Hmm?" softly, as if he was comforting an agitated pet.
"Why didn't you say this earlier?" Lin Guang said.
His voice became increasingly hoarse, as if a heavy weight had settled in his pupils.
"If you had treated me with such a gentle tone earlier. If you had been a little more obedient to me, given me a little more warmth, smiled at me like you treat your companions, and agreed to be friends with me." Lin Guang whispered, "Will we become like this?"
Su Mingan's pupils trembled, and after a moment, he whispered:
"meeting."
Because that's who you are.
Lacking emotions, without basic values and bottom line, if slightly bewitched by the gods, they will do the most horrible things. With a god in my ear, how can you be my friend?
No matter how I treat you, we will end up like this. This is how God planned, leaving no loopholes.
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