Chapter 100: Empathy and Putting Yourself in Someone Else's Shoes – A Mix of Feelings. ...
The moon was bright and the stars were few. The rain gradually subsided, turning into a cold mist that lingered in the air, seeping into the room and brushing against Shi Wan's face, making her a little more awake. "You..."
Seeing Jiang Xu's expression, which was both crying and laughing, she felt a pang in her heart. After hesitating for a moment, she finally comforted him, saying, "I felt the same way you do today."
It's worse than death, yet because of those little good and sweet moments, I keep wandering and wondering, and even thought several times about just letting myself drift along like this for a long, long time.
After a moment, Shi Wan sighed softly, "But, I don't resent you anymore."
"Jiang Xu." She called his name softly, her tone so gentle that it was as if the two of them had never had these barriers and entanglements, but rather as lovers reunited after a long separation, whispering in their room on a rainy winter night, "These words come from my heart."
The tower is so high that it inspires awe.
She had jumped from such a high platform, and in the dead of night, she had been trapped in it several times. But when she ran into the sea of fire, she was not so afraid anymore.
Even today, hearing Jiang Xu admit it with her own ears, she actually...
I don't care that much anymore.
She... had also briefly loved him.
But this love was too painful, too intense.
It made her think that it was also hatred.
The moonlight outside the window gradually appeared, contrasting with the only lamp in the room. Jiang Xu stared at the expression on the person in front of him. The flickering candlelight and the vast darkness completely shattered the last bit of gentleness on Shi Wan's face. He didn't look away for a long time, and after a while, he even felt a little dizzy.
The sight of blood on the knife tip wasn't enough to make him so panicked, but her seemingly relieved words had already drained all his strength from him.
The discomfort that the man had been trying so hard to suppress slowly surfaced, making his face flush even more. He sat there for a long time, already at his limit.
The next moment, however, the world spun around.
Jiang Xu swallowed the words she was about to say, and she was half-pressed against the edge of the bed by him. His other hand tightly held her waist, and half of his body covered her. His burning body temperature surged up instantly.
Despite being ill, his movements were not slow at all. He stayed close to her, and in the blink of an eye, the distance between them was almost imperceptible.
Shi Wan snapped out of her daze and yelled, "What kind of crazy nonsense are you spouting in the middle of the night?!" But she only managed to say that one sentence before Jiang Xu began to suck and bite her lips even deeper, their tongues entwining and caressing each other, as if they wanted to pour out all the love and hate they had shared over the years.
It surged down, fierce and irresistible.
After an unknown amount of time, their body temperatures both rose slightly. Shi Wan felt dizzy from the man's actions and shoved him with all her might, but mindful of Jiang Xu's injury, she subconsciously reduced her strength halfway through the push.
In the dead of night, the room was completely quiet.
After the two of them were a little distance apart, she seemed to calm down a bit and breathed heavily. Because she was sleeping, she was only wearing a simple undergarment, a lotus-colored satin that made her fair skin look even more like it had been adorned with rouge. Her figure was graceful and slender, and her face was rosy and radiant, making Jiang Xu unable to look away.
This situation clearly indicates that he is somewhat tempted.
Jiang Xu had slept in the same bed with her for several nights, so he was the first to notice. Seeing that she was no longer cold and aloof, but nestled in his arms, he was already feeling quite lightheaded. Moreover... Shi Wan had deliberately held back her strength just now.
Realizing this made him feel even more like he was in a dream, tossing and turning, unable to distinguish directions.
Even more so, an uncontrollable sense of pleasure arose in his heart, followed by scattered bursts of joy, which instantly dispelled the gloom in his heart and swept away his depression. On his face, he couldn't help but look even more pitiful. "Wanwan."
Shi Wan was taken aback and subconsciously looked up at him. It was the first time she had been addressed like that, and because of the turmoil she had just experienced, she was still a little dizzy. Her tone was not very good, "What are you doing?"
It would have been better if I hadn't looked. But when I did, I realized that Jiang Xu was chuckling as if no one was around, one laugh after another, his eyes sparkling with delight.
Her tone wasn't exactly flattering, was it? Shi Wan thought to herself, then spoke again, "Are you delirious with fever?"
"Why are you acting so silly?" It didn't sound like a scolding, but rather like a blessing.
In the short time it took to say those two sentences, the bitten flesh on her lower lip became noticeably more prominent. Shi Wan pursed her lips tightly, just as she had done many times before, determined not to let herself be at a disadvantage.
To everyone's surprise, Jiang Xu said in a gentle tone, "I'm not confused." As he spoke, he reached out and touched his forehead to check his temperature. "But I think I really can't hold on any longer."
Shi Wan hesitated slightly, "What...does that mean?" This was the first time this person had shown vulnerability in front of her, which was quite rare. Could it be that he was really seriously injured?
Thinking about it carefully, the journey was indeed too busy, with rain, horseback riding, and so many government affairs to handle.
Her tone softened slightly, but remained cold: "If you're feeling unwell, then it's your own fault."
"I..." Jiang Xu seemed not to hear the sarcastic remark. His tone was unsteady, and he couldn't help but cough twice. The short coughs were particularly jarring in the quiet bedroom. "Could I recuperate here with you?"
"No." Shi Wan refused quickly.
Jiang Xu looked dejected, but he was certain of the concern and affection in her eyes. He felt as if he had risen from the depths of despair to the heights of elation, and was even a little too proud to look up. After a moment's hesitation, he said in a low voice, "I am completely exhausted and really dare not travel any further."
"If this continues... I fear my life will not last long."
Shi Wan remained unmoved, raising an eyebrow at him as she continued to exert force, but still couldn't break free of the restraint. Then, her tone became somewhat playful: "Is this what you mean by 'not strong'?"
She scoffed, "If you're too weak, have your guards carry you back, drag you back, whatever you want."
"Furthermore, you must own several properties around here, right?"
"Your Majesty," her tone gradually turned cold, just as before, "you really do have a short memory."
Seeing that his attempt to elicit sympathy failed, Jiang Xu could only say, "I just want to stay by your side." After saying this, seeing that Shi Wan remained silent, he said somewhat anxiously, "If you're worried, you can find a chain to lock me up."
Shi Wan glanced at her, "All I have here is a dog leash."
Seeing her confident and certain demeanor, Jiang Xu was not angered by her words. Instead, he became more accustomed to the situation and immediately replied good-naturedly, "Alright." Fearing that her vague words might turn into a clear rejection, he pressed on while the iron was hot, saying, "Where is it? We can put it on now."
Shi Wan was speechless for a moment. After confirming that the person in front of her did not seem to be faking it, she felt even more conflicted.
She doesn't have a dog leash! Caiyue is afraid of dogs, so she's never owned one! Can't this person tell right from wrong?
But unfortunately, this injury was indeed caused by saving her, and he did take real risks. In addition... over the years, he had governed the country well, and the world had been initially settled. She had also received his kindness. Overwhelmed with mixed feelings, she didn't immediately speak up to forcefully shut him down.
Jiang Xu didn't dare let her think too deeply, and simply interrupted her, saying, "I will be very good."
"Even if it's just a toy, I only need a small room and a meal."
As Shi Wan listened, she suddenly became more and more enlightened. Recalling the humiliations she had suffered in the past, a few tears welled up in her eyes, her nose tingled, and she lowered her eyes without speaking. After a long while, she asked in a low voice, "You... is this a way of showing your loyalty?"
"No, it's an apology." Jiang Xu's expression was sincere, but upon closer inspection, there was a hint of sadness and timidity. "I was wrong to you in the past."
This sentence evoked even more mixed emotions in her than the previous one.
The two had been entangled for years, a messy affair that was impossible to untangle. With chains binding their ankles, they were forced to leap from a high platform, toyed with and threatened like cats playing with mice. Yet, they also shared joyful moments on holidays and by hand in hand.
Three escapes, several moments of suspense.
Years have passed, and I can't help but sigh with regret.
Shi Wansheng choked up a little and said in a hoarse voice, "This time, I was kidnapped because of you, but I was also saved by you."
"...Never mind, Jiang Xu."
She blinked her eyelashes slightly, seemingly trying to think of something, and after a while, she murmured, "Never mind."
Jiang Xu saw this and felt as if his heart was being torn apart. He couldn't help but soften his breathing and plead, "I know you're looking at locations for the shops and thinking of going somewhere else."
Upon hearing this, Shi Wan did not immediately become alert as usual and switch to a fighting stance. Instead, she vaguely looked in his direction.
"If you wish, you will no longer need to dress as a man."
"Let's start anew in this new place." Jiang Xu's tone was extremely gentle, as if he were coaxing her, but due to the high fever and discomfort, the magnetism in his voice was amplified infinitely, making it particularly alluring to hear, like feathers floating, gently tickling her, "I don't want you to be like this anymore."
"Living a life of mere survival, filled with daily worries."
I think... just be yourself.
Shi Wan stared at him intently, her blurred gaze gradually hardening, her words revealing a melancholy and confusion she herself was unaware of, "...Really?"
"The Emperor's words are undoubtedly the truth." Jiang Xu greedily traced her eyebrows and eyes, his eyelids half-lowered. In his heart, one moment he was happy that his death could evoke joy in her, and the next moment, he felt an indescribable sorrow.
It was just like before, when he stood beneath that tower.
He looked up and saw the moon sinking in the west, seemingly about to fall to the ground, until the first light of dawn appeared. He then climbed the high platform step by step.
Beneath their feet lay an unexpected abyss several meters deep.
One step forward, and it's utter destruction.
But thankfully...
As his thoughts returned, Jiang Xu reached out and took Shi Wan's hand as if possessed. He saw that she looked somber and blank, neither sad nor happy.
Seeing this, Jiang Xu felt even worse. He subconsciously tightened his grip a little, but he was also careful not to go any further.
In the darkness, the corners of his lips unconsciously curled up.
very nice......
He caught the moon.
Even the slightest bit, even...
Just the edges and corners.
But the bright moonlight, with its crystalline luster, was enough to burn the skin.
It made his once withered and aching heart burn with warmth again.
-----------------------
Author's Note: Hooray for Chapter 100! [Laughing]
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
