Chapter 99: The Flavors of Love, Hate, Right and Wrong, All in Pairs.
Shi Wan waited patiently for two breaths, and seeing Jiang Xu stubbornly clinging to her, she finally spoke up: "You're confused." The emperor, who could have any woman he wanted, had repeatedly come close to her, and for a moment, she almost fell for his trick.
Her expression was indifferent, and the slight intimacy between them when the atmosphere was just right quickly dissipated, leaving only the kind of emotionless indifference that he loathed. Jiang Xu finally dared not persist any longer.
If I speak again, I'm afraid I'll be disliked.
Jiang Xu had no choice but to pretend to be deaf and dumb, his lips moving in a barely audible whisper, “…Take good care of your injuries.” After saying this, he left with the help of his personal guards.
The temple became much quieter again. After everyone left, a guard who remained immediately bowed and said, "Madam, the carriage is waiting outside."
Shi Wan didn't want to make things difficult for her subordinates. Knowing that Jiang Xu had probably given some instructions again, she sighed softly and nodded, "I'll trouble you to take me."
When she returned to the familiar courtyard, Caiyue was already fast asleep. An oil lamp was lit inside, its tiny glow bringing a sense of peace as she stood in the courtyard and peered into the room.
Before the stone steps, the snow was mottled, and the moonlight shone down, revealing a patch of white. In the latter half of the night, a sudden rainstorm broke out. Inside the inn, Jiang Xu had fallen into a coma on the way. By the time of Yin that day, his wounds became infected, and he developed a high fever.
The rain pattered softly, but inside the guesthouse, everyone looked worried. The imperial physicians, who had accompanied the emperor on his southern tour, had already expressed some discontent when they saw him being stabbed in the heart with a hairpin, though they had kept quiet about it. Now, seeing His Majesty return covered in blood, they couldn't help but mutter complaints under their breath.
"His Majesty's emotions have been greatly agitated, and he has caught a cold. He will definitely need to rest and recuperate."
As soon as one person finished speaking, someone else chimed in, "What Imperial Physician Liu said is absolutely right. The Emperor's good health is the foundation of the nation. His Majesty's strategic brilliance and military prowess are both outstanding. For the sake of the stability of the country, it would be best for him to recover his health as soon as possible."
They were all subjects who followed Jiang Xu to make a living. With each new emperor came a new set of ministers. After the fall of the incompetent young emperor, a wise and capable ruler in his prime appeared. So everyone accepted him half-heartedly. Who knew that the other party would be even more stubborn in some aspects than the previous emperor.
Before long, someone whispered, "...His Majesty has no son yet, so the matter of choosing a consort is..." Then, feigning ignorance, he stopped talking.
Shi Wan stood beside the group, his expression calm and silent. These people only dared to make such a hesitant and indirect attempt when His Majesty was in a high fever and unconscious.
If you have the guts, then just like those remonstrating officials, bring it up to their faces!
Seeing that no one responded, the imperial physicians exchanged glances and had no choice but to shut their mouths as well. They went about preparing medicine and administering acupuncture in an orderly manner. Just then, a murmur came from the bed.
Shi Wan immediately stepped forward, lifted the layers of curtains, and bowed to listen.
“...Shi Wan.”
“Shi Wan”.
A faint, short sound, indistinct and unclear, yet when calling out names, the words were surprisingly clear.
Shi Wan had served Jiang Xu for a long time and knew about His Majesty's past. He felt a chill and, remembering Jiang Xu's instructions during the journey, stood up and stepped back a little. He said coldly, "I have to go out for a while. You all stay by His Majesty's side and do your best."
Surrounded by guards, and with several loyal imperial physicians who immediately nodded in agreement.
At dawn, just as the sky was beginning to lighten, Shi Wan summoned several imperial guards to accompany him. They sped all the way to Fuji Village. He dared not knock on the door rashly, so he found a low spot outside the wall and paced back and forth, sighing and groaning, trying to attract the attention of the people inside.
Unfortunately, after a while, the person inside remained unmoved. Helpless, he had no choice but to bite the bullet and knock on the door. Soon, the courtyard gate opened halfway, and Shi Wan stood by the door. Seeing that it was someone from Jiang Xu's side, she asked in a cold tone, "What brings you here so early, Eunuch?"
Without waiting for a response, he continued, "If you are relaying a message to His Majesty, you do not need to inform me."
"Since we parted yesterday, there's no need for us to meet again. Please return home."
Seeing that she was about to close the door, Shi Wan hurriedly knelt down with a thud. "Miss, His Majesty developed a high fever on the way and it hasn't subsided. He hasn't woken up for several hours! This servant had no other choice. I heard His Majesty calling your name even in his unconscious state, so I dared to take the liberty of doing this!"
He spoke quickly and urgently, his tone extremely humble, "Even just a few kind words to put His Majesty's mind at ease would be appreciated!"
Is he going to tell some so-called white lies? Does Jiang Xu even need such things? Shi Wan subconsciously glanced to the side. It was already bright outside, and someone would likely pass by soon.
Her expression remained unchanged. "Have you been kneeling here the whole time, as if you're afraid no one will notice?"
Seeing her resolute attitude, Shi Wan hurriedly and shakily stood up. Knowing that further words would be of no use, his mind was in turmoil, but he still dared not show it at all.
Shi Wan watched as the person turned and walked step by step toward the alley entrance. Remembering the other person's self-introduction when they first met, she suddenly said, "Wait."
"I have a question that I would like to ask you, sir."
Shi Wan had exceptional hearing; upon hearing this, he quickly strode back.
Once the person had stopped, seeing their respectful attitude, Shi Wan suppressed her doubts and casually asked, "What are the two characters in your name?"
Shi Wan was taken aback. Although he did not understand what it meant, he still lowered his head and said, "I am Shi Wan, and I am from Qingluo Stone at the foot of Wan Gong Mountain."
Shi Wan continued calmly, "You...have you been to school?" Eunuchs...have the right to read and write? Whether in the previous dynasty or the current one, people must have been destitute and had no other way out before sending their children to the palace to make a living, right?
Seeing her curiosity, Shi Wanfu had a sudden inspiration and said gently, "You don't know... When His Majesty first ascended the throne, the inner court was complicated. It was His Majesty who overruled the objections and said that my name sounded pleasant and that I was clever. That's why he chose someone like me with no background to be trained by his side. He even allowed me to learn to read and write with the scholars."
"His Majesty... is actually extremely attentive to those he cares about."
Shi Wan ignored his veiled words, stared at him intently for a moment, and then suddenly lowered her eyelashes. "I understand. Thank you for clearing up my doubts."
"Your Majesty's health is of utmost importance, please return."
Seeing that the person had become indifferent again, Shi Wan dared not say anything more, for fear of making things worse, so he had no choice but to slink away and speed up his return.
......
Inside the guesthouse.
When Shi Wan returned, it was already past 9 AM.
Jiang Xu ate half a bowl of fish porridge and drank his medicine. He was leaning against the couch with his eyes closed, resting. After listening carefully to his report, he tugged at the corner of his lips and said, "How could she possibly have any doubts?" And how could she possibly let someone answer her questions?
She must have known perfectly well what was going on; she was just looking for an excuse to send him away.
Shi Wan dared not provoke him at this moment, and only echoed him in a low voice. Jiang Xu regained some energy, waved for him to leave, and stared blankly at the rain outside the window.
Suddenly, as if remembering something, he abruptly stood up. Lost in thought, he accidentally aggravated his wound, causing him to wince in pain.
Shi Wan, who was keeping watch at a distance, came over almost immediately upon hearing the commotion. Seeing the situation, he couldn't help but advise, "Your Majesty...you..."
Jiang Xu, however, was completely unaware, and simply smiled, instantly brightening the scene like the snow melting after a storm. "You're right."
Shi Wan: "Is what this servant said...?"
“Since she asked, it means she does have doubts and needs someone to answer them.” Jiang Xu was in a good mood and said to himself, “I happen to have some free time, so I must go this time.”
These words immediately drew the attention of the guards and imperial physicians standing outside the door, who all tried to dissuade him. It was a cold winter day, with rain falling, and Jiang Xu, knowing the situation, cooperated unusually. He waited until dusk before changing into a new set of clothes and riding away.
He sped along the road, and by the time he reached Fuji Village, it was already completely dark. He knew the way well and went around to the window of Shi Wan's bedroom. He quickly pried open the window latch and silently climbed into the room.
Sure enough, the remaining two or three people had already been sent away somewhere else. She was the only one in the room, and the dim oil lamp swayed gently from side to side in the cold wind blowing from outside the window.
Jiang Xu dared not approach, but curled up against the wall a few steps away from the bed, greedily gazing at her sleeping face in the dim light. Even though she had taken the medicine and had slept, her high fever had not completely subsided, and the cold wind from the journey had left her feeling dizzy. Suddenly, a dull ache arose in her chest.
After an unknown amount of time, Shi Wan seemed to sense something on the bed. As soon as she turned over, she suddenly saw the figure by the bed. Startled, her heart pounded, and she reached for the dagger under the soft pillow. The next moment, however, she was caught off guard and her eyes met the man's.
“It’s me,” Jiang Xu said in a low voice.
Upon hearing Jiang Xu's voice, Shi Wan subconsciously breathed a sigh of relief and pushed the dagger further in. Then, a surge of anger suddenly rose in her heart, and a mix of emotions welled up inside her. "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"
Jiang Xu insisted, "I'm here to answer your questions."
Upon hearing this, Shi Wan knew that the little eunuch had gone back and reported everything that had happened that day. She scolded him, "Answer my questions? Are you tired of living?" In any case, the other party had saved him this time. One thing at a time, but deep down, she had also been unwilling for Jiang Xu to die like this for a few moments.
The moonlight outside the window was obscured by thin clouds, and the dim light illuminated the two people's faces with starkly different expressions. Shi Wan looked closely and realized that Jiang Xu's face was pale and frightening, and even his usual disguise was almost gone.
The man's voice was hoarse, and due to fever and weakness, his speech was unconsciously much slower, "Aren't you curious about the past of this name, then..."
He lowered his eyes. "Are you... curious about what happened back then?"
"How have I lived since you left?"
Before Shi Wan could respond, perhaps out of fear of rejection, or perhaps because these complex emotions had been building up for too long and needed to be released, Jiang Xu's gaze momentarily went blank. "After you left, I only did two things every day: look for you and kill people."
"The foreign tribes have invaded, and they have joined forces with Mao Maochong, the Grand Marshal of Youzhou, in an attempt to provoke a new war. One of my former subordinates unfortunately perished here. However... fortunately, I have not disgraced your praise of me, and after several twists and turns, I have managed to hold onto the throne I seized."
Shi Wan listened in silence, and upon hearing the familiar name, she felt a sense of déjà vu for a moment.
"On the day of our triumphant return, I went alone to that high platform to look down." He stood there all night, until the first light of dawn, before finally mustering the courage to climb up and look down. Only then did he realize...
So this tower is really that tall.
Jiang Xu's voice trembled as he softly called her, "Wan'er."
"That tower is indeed extremely high."
The candlelight flickered, illuminating Shi Wan's face. Her soft, white skin was like the finest backdrop, with light and shadow intertwining. She unconsciously clenched her fists, and after a long while, she calmly replied, "What happened back then is in the past. Let's not bring it up again."
Upon hearing this, Jiang Xu seemed startled, clutching his chest with a pained expression. Seeing this, Shi Wan hesitated for a moment before getting up to help him, but the man instead grasped her soft hand.
His rough palm gently caressed her hand, then pressed against it, completely enveloping it. Jiang Xu's gaze was fixed on her, his tone pitiful and lamenting, "Then... what about our past relationship?"
He spoke each word clearly, each phrase carrying the weight of a thousand pounds: "My heart has not changed." He paused for a few breaths, his eyes filled with caution, his voice seeming as if it would be blown away by the cold wind seeping through the windowpane: "You... are you still the same?"
Do you still hate him? Have you ever been momentarily distracted, or even...feelings for him?
Silence fell all around. Jiang Xu felt a burning sensation in his chest, mixed with a dense, tingling pain. His breathing was slightly labored, as if he were awaiting judgment.
Shi Wan gazed quietly at the person before her. He possessed a magnificent bearing and a serene demeanor. Now, three years into his reign, he had become even more dashing and dignified.
She suddenly felt a flush on her face, thinking to herself that male beauty was alluring, but she said calmly, "You had your own difficulties back then, and I... don't blame you now."
"You don't blame me?" Jiang Xu was initially delighted when her gaze lingered on him, but now his heart sank to the bottom. The abnormal flush on his face, caused by high fever, faded instantly, leaving only a pale, almost transparent pallor.
"You don't resent me?" he said, then suddenly chuckled softly, without a trace of pleasure, more like self-mockery, his tone extremely desolate, "I'd rather you resent me."
"Shiwan." He repeated it again, seemingly laughing through his tears, as if that would prove it.
To prove his existence.
This proves the extent of their entanglements.
Jiang Xu spoke with a voice dripping with anguish, "I'm willing..."
"You resent me."
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The author says: "Green snail stone at the foot of Wan Gong Mountain." This is from Shi Zhengjue's "Passing Wan Mountain".
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