Chapter 98 How can a broken mirror be mended?
As soon as he finished speaking, Jiang Xu was momentarily stunned. A mixture of grievance and resentment welled up in his throat, but no matter how many times he opened his mouth, he couldn't utter a single word.
These past few days... how have he had it easy either?
The emperor's dignity and the overwhelming longing to express his feelings were torn apart. Every time he wanted to find her, he was always bound by her cold words after their long separation.
Tranquility and freedom—that's what Shi Wan wants, not him.
It's not...
Anything that he brings with him.
She... loathed him.
Jiang Xu's eyes flickered slightly as he noticed the cold, accusatory gaze of the person in his arms, and he froze in place for a moment.
She loathed him.
She...doesn't love him.
Even though he had already confirmed this fact long ago.
Even this time, he arrived in a disheveled and anxious state, his thoughts wandering. Jiang Xu couldn't help but say, "This was not my intention."
Could it be... that his current reckless actions are merely another proof that Shi Wan cannot find peace by his side? His heart pounded with anger, and for a moment, Jiang Xu couldn't distinguish between rage and some other emotion.
Shi Wan closed her eyes slightly and remained silent for a moment before saying, "What are you trying to argue about?" In the end, whether in the past or present, most of the suffering she has endured is brought about by him.
"If it weren't for you, how would I have ended up like this?"
How did it come to this? Jiang Xu gave a self-deprecating laugh, "You really are a heartless and ungrateful person." He held a heart that had been scraped and discarded time and time again.
Facing this fact with crystal clarity, I felt even more panicked and pained than when I lost her more than two years ago.
With a flick of his wrist, Jiang Xu turned the longsword in his hand and thrust it fiercely into his left chest.
Shi Wan only had time to see his movements before blood gushed out. Her heart skipped a beat. She had been busy these past few days, planning the shop's location, hiring employees, and dealing with many other complicated matters. She was already tired and annoyed, and the sight of blood made her even more confused.
Her already cold expression grew even more unpleasant, and she even temporarily overcame the pain in her shoulder and the dizziness before her eyes. "What are you doing? Playing the victim? I'm not buying it."
Every word fell on Jiang Xu's ears, but he seemed not to hear them, continuing to let the sword hilt sink deeper. "Playing the victim?"
"Even if I were to die in front of you, would you show me any pity?" The man's voice was hoarse from the pain, but his expression was extremely calm. Apart from his pale face and the dark circles under his eyes, there was no indication that he was injured.
The smell of blood rose in his mouth. Jiang Xu held her close. Their robes were already intertwined and inseparable. Now, stained with the glaring red, they exuded an even more ambiguous and entangled aura.
The sharp blade pierced the flesh, and specks of blood seeped out. Shi Wan, being watched so closely, easily noticed the stubbornness in Jiang Xu's eyes.
She frowned subconsciously, and after a few breaths, looked back suspiciously, "What do you mean by that?" Could it be...? She glanced quickly and saw that Jiang Xu had stabbed her in the same spot in her heart where she had attacked earlier. She closed her eyes briefly as if trying to escape, then opened them again and said, "Old wounds from before, and now new ones."
"If you really don't want to live anymore..."
"Don't die here."
"What?" Jiang Xu saw that although Shi Wan's words were cold, there was a certain meaning to them, which sounded like concern. He felt remorseful and mustered his courage to ask in a softer tone, "Are you worried about me?"
"I'm afraid you'll cause trouble if you die here," Shi Wan said calmly, "so as not to offend my eyes."
Seeing Jiang Xu panting and the bloodstains growing larger, she couldn't help but say, "You..." The next moment, Jiang Xu's low, hoarse voice suddenly rang out, as if afraid that she would say something more to refuse him, his tone was somewhat urgent.
They hastily expressed their determination and revealed their true feelings, no longer comparing themselves to the winners and losers, but rather like people on the verge of death, struggling to hold on.
Faced with a glimmer of hope, yet daring not to step forward, he said, "The suffering and grievances you have endured, I... will repay you with this one blow."
Blood dripped down, landing on Shi Wan's hem. She was startled by his words, her heart skipping a beat. Then she saw the man's burning gaze, as if he wanted to burn away all his strength. "If I truly repent... can we start over?"
The man's chest was covered in crimson blood. Shi Wan didn't know what he was thinking, but she caught a glimpse of the pain and miserable look on his face. For a moment, she couldn't help but think of her own situation over the past two years.
Even in the dead of night, he still vividly recalls the pain of being bound by chains, and every single incident stems from the man before him.
But ironically, he had indeed treated her so well.
Regardless of the past, to put it simply, this time, he did indeed disregard his own well-being and came to rescue her all by himself.
So much so that the resentment that had just arisen was extinguished by a multitude of complex emotions. After a moment, he almost gritted his teeth and said in a calm voice, "How can a broken mirror be mended?"
Upon hearing this, Jiang Xu's breathing became erratic, and the madness in his eyes was ignited by a strange light, which instantly spread like wildfire.
Reunion? Since she said that, it means that they had been "reunited" before. Thinking of this, he subconsciously picked up the sword blade that had fallen at some point, and was about to stab it again.
"Have you really lost your mind?!" Shi Wan mustered all her strength to stop him, glanced at the imperial guards who were already standing guard on both sides, and shouted coldly, "What are you standing there for? Your master has gone mad, aren't you going to stop him?"
Before they could finish exchanging a few words, while the people around them hesitated, Jiang Xu took the opportunity to reach out and touch her soft hands, unconsciously stroking them a couple of times.
The burning heat and sticky bloodstains on his wrist mingled together. Jiang Xu's strength was immense. With just one glance, he silenced everyone around him. Inside the temple, Shi Wan paused upon seeing this. "Since you still have the strength to do this, you must be conscious."
The two had a long and complicated history spanning several years, which was already a tangled mess. The events were one after another, making it impossible to sort them out in terms of sequence or importance.
Shi Wan stared at the pale face and tightly pursed lips of the person opposite her. Then she thought of her own miserable state and suddenly felt a subtle sense of sympathy. So she simply saved her strength and stopped struggling in secret, letting him hold her.
Overwhelmed with emotions, she sighed softly after a long while, "Go stop the bleeding."
“If you delay treatment any longer, even the best physical condition won’t be able to withstand the damage to your wound.”
Seeing that Jiang Xu did not answer, she continued, "And..."
"It hurts too." The small wounds on my body hurt, my wrist hurts from being gripped so tightly, and my heart is filled with a dense, inexplicable mix of emotions that are twisting and aching.
Jiang Xu then made a move, pulling out a box of ointment from somewhere on his body and applying it to her as if no one else was around. When Shi Wan realized what was happening, she felt a cool sensation on her forehead and was already annoyed when she heard Jiang Xu say gently, "I scared you today."
Realizing the subtle difference in how the other person addressed her, Shi Wan smiled and said, "It's nothing. You should get up and stop the bleeding." She glanced at the guards who were hiding in the shadows and waiting around her, her expression unchanged. "Otherwise, you'll be dead tomorrow."
The emperor's safety is of utmost importance. If these guards hadn't known about the two's past and if Jiang Xu himself hadn't been there to keep a close watch, they probably would have already rushed forward to snatch the person back to heal.
These people's lives and fortunes were all tied to him. Thinking of this, Jiang Xu silently got up, but his black eyes were still fixed on Shi Wan. The sharp pain came belatedly, and he blinked his eyelashes quickly to suppress the pain. He pretended to be fine and said pitifully, "There might still be a few of these fish that slipped through the net. You should rest and recover these two days and don't go out."
The atmosphere was just right, and he keenly sensed that Shi Wan's attitude was softening. Naturally, he refused to leave immediately no matter what. Fortunately, she knew that he was making a last-ditch effort and just listened silently.
"If you want to go out, then at least for the next two days, let my people follow you, even if they are just keeping watch at a distance."
Shi Wan said coldly, "Fine, I understand."
"You should leave now. After this, you don't need to come back."
If it were before, Jiang Xu would have been heartbroken to hear Shi Wan say that she didn't love him or that she was forced to stay by his side. But now, perhaps because he had suffered so many blows, or perhaps because of their similar and intimate appearances in such a disheveled state, he felt a faint but almost imperceptible joy in his heart.
Remembering what she had just said, he went along with it, pretending he hadn't heard her telling him to leave, and instead brought up the topic from a moment ago, trying to linger a little longer, "If I don't live to see tomorrow, then... on the anniversary of my death, will you come to see me?"
This question was incredibly naive, and Shi Wan found it laughable. The two knew each other too well and knew that Jiang Xu was trying to stall for time, so she simply said, "I've said what I needed to say, so there's no need for anything else, right?"
She urged, "You should go now."
The other party repeatedly urged him to leave, which made Jiang Xu feel uneasy, but then he thought that it was because they were worried about his injuries, and his mood changed again from gloomy to sunny. "Then, let the imperial physician take a look at you later, okay?"
“It’s not good for a girl to have a scar.” As he spoke, seeing Shi Wan glare at him, his tone gradually softened, his lips moved as he added, trying to find something to say, “Then… that wouldn’t be good.”
That's true. Shi Wan pondered for a moment and nodded.
The temple fell silent again, the earlier arguments vanished in an instant. It was past midnight, and outside the window, the bright moon hung high, its light pure and clear.
A cold wind, carrying the chill of winter, suddenly rushed in, causing the hems of their clothes to flutter and dispersing some of the stench of blood in the room.
The moonlight, as clear as if washed, silently spilled onto the ground, reflecting a faint, cold light, like a silent observer. Under its illumination, all the subtle changes of love, hate, anger, and infatuation were laid bare.
Jiang Xu stared intently at Shi Wan for several breaths before reluctantly releasing his grip and moving a little distance away.
.
A moment later, he suddenly raised his hand and clenched it even tighter.
This man went back on his word, and Shi Wan was about to get angry when she saw Jiang Xu's tall figure suddenly stagger, his broad shadow instantly closing in, and a familiar scent enveloping her.
He lowered his head slightly, gently touching Shi Wan's forehead. The man's burning body temperature was transmitted through their skin, mixed with the smell of blood.
Looks like... it's the prelude to fainting.
Just as she was about to speak, a very soft murmur suddenly came to her ear, drifting in, familiar yet unfamiliar: "...Wan'er".
Pathetic yet hateful, "I miss you."
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Author's note: Suddenly reminded me of JJ Lin's "Jiangnan," circles and circles...
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