Chapter 75 [End of Main Text] Prove to me that your love will last until death...
"Yan Ceyan, but he's dead."
Yan Quan's voice echoed in the empty ceiling of the ward, "At five months, there was no fetal heartbeat."
After undergoing an abortion at the hospital, Yan Quan looked at her reflection in the glass door—
Strands of hair clung to his sweat-dampened forehead, and the dark circles under his eyes were as pale and bluish-gray as paper dampened by rain.
At that moment, a tremendous sense of fear rose from the depths of Yan Quan's heart:
This is too difficult to investigate.
Loving someone is so difficult.
"Yan Ceyan." The hospital lights were cold and white, illuminating everything. Yan Quan stared at Yan Ceyan with an almost resentful look:
"I [don't want to]."
I don't want to love you.
Fed up with the torment of heat cycles, Yan Quan underwent a permanent mark removal procedure. Lying on the cold operating table, Yan Quan clearly saw the pity in the surgeon's pupils.
What Yan Quan hated most in his life.
It's about making others feel sorry for him.
So Yan Quan began to practice “not loving Yan Ceyan”.
This was a long and arduous tug-of-war, and Yan Quan did not relax for a single day during the remaining five years of the A Federation.
"I don't love him."
Every morning, Yan Quan would gaze at herself in the mirror and repeat this.
Once wasn't enough, so I repeated it twice, three times, four times... until the words pierced through my lips and were imprinted on my heart.
Yan Quan used this absurd and almost foolish method to "deceive" himself.
On the eve of his return to China, Yan Quan almost believed he had succeeded—he had become the "bad" Yan Quan who "didn't care about anyone" again.
Yan Quan even thought that he could start "tricking" another Alpha, marry him, get a green card, and then dump him.
In the recurring game of pursuing one's heart, Yan Quan thought he had once again become the winner-takes-all "banker".
Until... that phone call from Wu Yingxue.
The mother sobbed as she recounted Yan Zhengdong's imprisonment, the crisis facing the Yan Group, and how difficult it was for her and her younger brother to depend on each other for survival, begging Yan Quan to return and help her...
"Mom." When Yan Quan uttered those two words, she was almost numb. "I've already said it, we have nothing to do with each other anymore."
“You made your choice a long time ago.”
You chose Yan Zhengdong.
You are now simply paying the price for this.
There was a long silence on the other end of the phone.
Wu Yingxue's trembling, shrinking voice suddenly asked without warning, "Then... what about that Alpha from the Yan family?"
"So you have nothing to do with him anymore?"
"I don't..."
Yan Quan subconsciously muttered "brainwashing," but the feeling reached his heart even before the words were spoken—
It was Yan Ceyan's face.
Above the fierce scar on his eyelids were those dark, deep eyes that always stared intently at Yan Quan.
“He served in the Northwest Military Region for seven years and was recently transferred to the capital.” Wu Yingxue thought she had found a breakthrough and told him everything she knew in one go: “It is said that the Yan family has started looking for a blind date for him.”
"As long as it's a beta... or rather, an omega with a very weak pheromone scent..."
[Yan Quan, he has nothing to do with you anymore.]
"..." Reason told Yan Quan that she should hang up the phone immediately. But Yan Quan's body was out of control, and she stood there blankly, listening intently to Wu Yingxue's words.
Yan Quan actually knew why he refused to hang up the phone.
During his years in Federation A, Yan Quan lived under the surveillance of the Yan family every minute and every second. Most of the time, Yan Quan had to obediently play the role of a "heartless man" who did not cross the line and had nothing to do with Yan Ceyan.
Such "limited" channels for understanding Yan Ceyan were "invaluable" to Yan Quan.
They even used a word like "extremely precious"...
[How despicable, Yan Quan.]
Yan Quan mocked himself in his heart.
"...So?" Wu Yingxue racked her brains, hoping to sway Yan Quan, "Are you really not considering going back to China?"
"I won't consider it." Yan Quan hung up the phone then. Her voice sounded very decisive.
But in reality...
"Bang—" Yan Quan clearly heard the sound of the city wall in his heart collapsing—the so-called impregnable fortress was actually shaky and vulnerable.
The complete collapse of the front line began with that rescheduled flight, which set off alarm bells...
*
Returning to China was merely to reclaim the "Yan family's" property.
Appearing on the show was just for "exploitation".
The reconciliation was just a "playing along".
After many years, upon their reunion, Yan Quan remained constantly on edge, reminding herself of this.
[Yan Quan, you must never fall in love with Yan Ceyan again.]
"Yan Ceyan, I pushed you away, didn't I? I told you to stay away from me time and time again. But..."
The cold voice hovered above the ceiling above the hospital bed, sounding strangely fragile:
"How can your 'liking' be so stupidly pure? The more I 'deceive and take advantage' you, the closer you get to me..."
"The more I..."
"I can't lie to myself anymore."
*
"What did you say..." Yan Ceyan stared at Yan Quan in disbelief.
“I said—” Yan Quan: “Yan Ceyan, you idiot.”
Instead of getting angry after being scolded, "Yan the Idiot" excitedly hugged Yan Quan.
The hug was too tight... Yan Quan felt like his ribs were about to be broken.
"Yan Quan, please believe me."
"I will never again deceive you, take revenge on you, or hurt you." Yan Ceyan's low, hoarse voice sounded almost like a plea:
"I won't let you become like your mother."
Yan Ceyan held Yan Quan's body tightly with his hands:
I really love you.
I love you more than you can imagine.
Even more than loving myself.
"I will love you forever, until I die."
"...", being held so tightly, Yan Quan felt his numb body gradually regaining sensation.
Sure enough, it's always like this.
Childhood trauma left Yan Quan with an innate lack of "security," and she became accustomed to "stress" and "avoidance." Only this suffocating amount of love could bind Yan Quan firmly.
All these years, there's only been one—that idiot surnamed Yan who just won't leave no matter how hard we try.
Successfully...reached Yan Quan's heart.
"Yan Ceyan," Yan Quan lowered his eyes, "I don't actually believe such things at all."
To Yan Quan, vows of eternal love, even unto death, were nothing but useless lies.
But... her heart was pounding uncontrollably, and Yan Quan sighed as if resigned to her fate:
"Yan Ceyan".
"Then prove it to me."
"Use what you call a lifetime."
Suddenly, frames of memories flashed through Yan Quan's mind—his first encounter with Yan Ceyan at the funeral.
A light drizzle, a solemn marble monument, and a fleeting glimpse of the crowd for 0.01 seconds.
Yan Quan raised his hand, still attached to the IV needle, and gently embraced Yan Ceyan's back, as if signing a silent promise.
If there truly is a future day, our graves will stand side by side in the endless rain, with our names, photos, and last words engraved on them.
“I’ll admit it then…” Yan Quan’s face was reflected on the television screen, and that face was seven parts similar to Wu Yingxue’s.
[Mom, you're wrong]
Love
Longer than [pain].
*End of main text*
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Author's Note: The book is finally finished! [Sprinkling flowers][Sprinkling flowers][Sprinkling flowers] This is a book that really suits my tastes.
Despite the delays, I've managed to write down all the stories in my head [crying][crying] I didn't cut the outline or the characters [droopy-eared bunny head] So see you in the next book [heart]
P.S.: Actually, I feel the plot of this book is already quite complete (amnesia, kidnapping, scam, pregnancy and abortion... not a single cliché trope is missing), but if it gets over 5000 favorites, I'll write a side story about having a baby (please favorite! Thank you!).
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