Thousand layers of tricks for straight men
The forensic laboratory reeked of developer. Wen Lin was practically pressed against Fan Jinci's back, his finger pointing past his shoulder at the microscope: "Look at this fibrous structure! Isn't it exactly the same as the one on the first victim's collar?"
His chest brushed against Fan Jinci's back almost imperceptibly, and the metal buttons of the prosecutor's uniform left subtle marks on the forensic doctor's white coat.
Three meters away, the pen in Yu Yan's hand snapped in two with a "crack".
"Prosecutor Wen." Jiang Zhaoyan suddenly stepped between the two, "accidentally" spilling his coffee on Wen Lin's sleeve. "Oops, my hand slipped."
"I'm sorry."
...
Wen Lin withdrew his hand with lightning speed, his expression as if he had touched something dirty: "Deputy Captain Jiang, this Armani haute couture outfit of mine—"
"I'll compensate you." Jiang Zhaoyan smiled and pulled him away. "Come on, help me take a look at this surveillance video."
After the two pulled away, Situ Jin whispered to Fan Jinci, "Prosecutor Wen seems particularly... close to you?"
Fan Jinci adjusted the microscope's focus: "The standard for human social distancing is 46 to 122 centimeters. He violated it."
"No..." Situ Jin pushed up her glasses, "He's clearly trying to get closer to you, like... courtship behavior?"
The scalpel clattered onto the tray. Fan Jinci, unusually, wore a puzzled expression: "He was just rumored to be dating a female internet celebrity last week."
"But what about him—"
"The sample is contaminated." Fan Jinci suddenly stood up. "I'll go get another set."
He turned and bumped into a human-shaped wall. Yu Yan, who had appeared behind him unnoticed, stood there, a storm brewing in his eyes: "Explain."
"Get out of the way."
He touched your hand!
Fan Jinci frowned: "He's demonstrating the angle of a pinhole camera."
He's pressed against your back!
"Observe the fiber structure."
He asked you out to dinner seven times!
"Case information exchange." Fan Jinci finally lost his patience. "What's wrong with you?"
Yu Yan felt a lump in his throat, as if he were about to choke on blood. He abruptly grabbed Jiang Zhaoyan, who was passing by: "Tell him!"
Jiang Zhaoyan blinked: "Brother Fan, Captain Yu is jealous."
"Jealous?" Fan Jinci repeated, as if explaining an unfamiliar chemical term.
"Yeah, it's when you see someone you like being with someone else—"
"Absurd," Fan Jinci interrupted. "Wen Lin is straight."
The entire room fell silent.
Jiang Zhaoyan: "...Huh?"
"The cologne he uses contains pheromones, formulated to attract the opposite sex; the indentation on his right ring finger from wearing a ring for a long time, which he recently removed, indicates he just ended a serious relationship; his phone's screensaver is a magazine cover featuring a female celebrity; his pupils dilate by 0.3 millimeters when he sees a sexy female news anchor," Fan Jinci said calmly. "Conclusion: typical heterosexual."
Yu Yan's expression was as if he'd been struck by lightning: "So, so he..."
"Provoking you is his form of entertainment." Fan Jinci picked up a new sample. "Boring."
After he walked away, Jiang Zhaoyan suddenly burst out laughing: "Holy crap! Wen Lin was trying to flirt with straight men by pretending to be gay?!"
Yu Yan's face flushed and paled alternately. Half of it was because he'd acted like an idiot in his jealousy, and the other half was because—
"Wait, Fan Jinci's observations are so detailed..." He suddenly grabbed Jiang Zhaoyan, "Does he actually care about Wen Lin a lot?!"
Jiang Zhaoyan looked at him as if he were mentally challenged: "Brother, he can't even tell you're jealous."
The atmosphere in the criminal investigation team's meeting room was so tense it felt like it could explode.
Wen Lin spread the photos on the table: "Jiang's Pharmaceutical Lab was robbed last night, and the stolen goods are this batch of nerve inhibitors." He emphasized a close-up photo with his fingertip, "Look at this safe's keyhole—only the legal department has this kind of special key."
"So the mole is in the legal department?" Xiao Chen noted.
"Not only that." Wen Lin suddenly leaned closer to Fan Jinci, "Forensic Doctor Fan, do you smell this rust? Doesn't it have a peculiar odor?"
His nose almost touched Fan Jinci's cheek.
"Bang!" Yu Yan kicked over a chair and stood up: "Enough!"
The police officers in the room were so frightened that they dropped their pens.
Wen Lin slowly straightened up: "Captain Yu, are you on a case?"
"Screw you!" Yu Yan grabbed him by the collar. "Is pretending to be gay fun?"
Wen Lin's expression stiffened for a moment, then his smile widened: "Oh, you got caught by Forensic Doctor Fan?" He deliberately licked his lips, "But my feelings for him are genuine—"
Yu Yan's fist swung out with a whooshing sound.
"Enough." Fan Jinci's icy voice cut in. He gripped Yu Yan's wrist with one hand, pressing precisely on a certain acupoint. "You're going to hit him outside."
Wen Lin straightened his collar, then suddenly became serious: "Actually, I just received a tip that the killer's next target is the South City Sanatorium." He looked at Fan Jinci, "We need you to play a part."
"explain."
"The killer is obsessed with committing the perfect crime and hates nothing more than having their methods exposed." A sharp glint flashed in Wen Lin's eyes. "If we release information that forensic pathologist Fan has cracked the code for the nanoneedles..."
"A decoy tactic," Yu Yan immediately objected, "Too dangerous!"
Fan Jinci had already picked up his coat: "The specific plan?"
"Fan Jinci!" Yu Yan stopped him. "This is clearly—"
"Get out of the way." Fan Jinci's grey-blue eyes turned icy. "Don't obstruct the investigation."
Taking the opportunity, Wen Lin moved closer to Fan Jinci and raised an eyebrow at Yu Yan: "Don't worry, I'll protect Forensic Doctor Fan closely."
"You fucking—"
"Oh, right," Wen Lin suddenly leaned close to Fan Jinci's ear, his voice loud enough for everyone to hear, "Come over to my place tonight to rehearse the script? I bought your favorite bluefin tuna..."
Yu Yan's rationality snapped.
"Fan Jinci!" He grabbed the forensic doctor and roared amidst everyone's astonished gazes, "I like you! Do you understand?! I've liked you the fuck since we first met three years ago!"
The meeting room was deathly silent.
Fan Jinci looked at him quietly, then suddenly reached out and touched his forehead: "Do you have a fever?"
"I......"
"I recommend a blood test." Fan Jinci turned to grab his bag. "Hallucinations could be an early symptom of neurotoxins."
Wen Lin was trembling from trying to suppress his laughter. Jiang Zhaoyan immediately squatted under the table.
Yu Yan stood rooted to the spot, watching as Fan Jinci followed Wen Lin away without looking back, his mind filled with only one thought:
He'd rather believe I was poisoned than believe I liked him?!
The South City Sanatorium was shrouded in rain. Wen Lin, holding a black umbrella, was unusually serious: "The plan is simple. You pretend to investigate alone, and the murderer will definitely—"
"Shh." Fan Jinci suddenly stopped. His gaze locked onto a window on the third floor. "The curtains moved."
Wen Lin narrowed his eyes: "I'll go around to the back door."
Fan Jinci walked alone into the sanatorium lobby. As the elevator reached the third floor, the lights suddenly flickered. He gripped the scalpel in his pocket and walked steadily toward the records room.
The door was ajar.
The moment the door opened, a syringe was thrust at him. Fan Jinci dodged to the side, the needle grazing his neck. Heavy breathing came from the darkness, and a second blow was aimed at his wrist—the assailant had precisely targeted his old wound. A scalpel flashed, and the attacker screamed and staggered back. By the light of the emergency lamp, Fan Jinci could see that the attacker was wearing a legal department badge.
"Section Chief Liu?" he asked calmly. "How much did Jiang's Pharmaceuticals pay you?"
His response was yet another thrust. This time, the familiar blue liquid swirled in the syringe.
In a split second, Wen Lin tackled the assailant from behind, and the two crashed into a filing cabinet and began to wrestle. Just as Fan Jinci was about to step forward, he saw Section Chief Liu suddenly turn the needle around—
"careful!"
A dark figure rushed in from the doorway like lightning. Yu Yan kicked the syringe away, then swiftly handcuffed the assailant behind his back, the movement so ruthless that the cracking of his wrist could be heard.
"You fucking..." he gasped, turning to Fan Jinci, his eyes bloodshot, "Do you even know what I...?"
The words came to an abrupt halt.
A thin line of blood slowly slid down Fan Jinci's neck, staining the collar of his blue shirt dark. His face was ashen, but his right hand still gripped the scalpel firmly.
"Nanometer needles," he whispered, "are poisonous."
The world shattered before Yu Yan's eyes.
Under the harsh white light of the hospital corridor, Yu Yan paced back and forth like a caged beast. Wen Lin leaned against the wall, unusually without a smile: "He'll be alright."
"roll."
"Actually, I do like him," Wen Lin suddenly said, "but it's just the appreciation a criminal profiler has for a perfect case." He glanced at the emergency room, "He's the only one who can see through all my test cases."
Yu Yan suddenly grabbed his collar: "What test case?"
"Psychological assessment." Wen Lin easily broke free. "The higher-ups suspect Fan Jinci has antisocial tendencies and sent me to observe him." He shrugged. "Conclusion: He's just locked all his empathy into his professional field."
The door opened. The doctor came out: "The patient is awake, but..."
Yu Yan rushed into the hospital bed, where Fan Jinci was reviewing the lab results. A bandage was applied to the side of his neck, and his eyelashes cast dappled shadows under the light. Hearing footsteps, he didn't even look up: "Did the murderer confess?"
"...Take care of yourself first, will you?!" Yu Yan shouted, then suddenly choked up, "Do you know that needle almost..."
Fan Jinci finally looked up. Under the influence of the anesthesia, his eyes were unusually unfocused: "Yu Yan."
"......ah?"
"I heard you," Fan Jinci's voice was as light as a feather. "You said you liked me."
Yu Yan's heart skipped a beat.
"Why?" Fan Jinci frowned in confusion. "I have a bad personality, I'm uncooperative, and..."
"Because the way you hold a scalpel is fucking sexy!"
Yu Yan, in a fit of despair, yelled, "Because you look at corpses more intently than living people! Because your wrist is killing you but you're pretending nothing's wrong! Is that enough?!"
Fan Jinci looked at him quietly. After a long while, she suddenly reached out and said, "Help me up."
Yu Yan instinctively reached for it, but was pulled by his tie and tumbled onto the hospital bed. Fan Jinci's breath brushed against his ear: "Case closing report... due tomorrow..."
The sound of even breathing could be heard.
Yu Yan stiffened his neck and looked down—this person had actually fallen asleep while holding onto his tie?!
Wen Lin whistled from the doorway: "Do you need me to help you untie this?"
"roll!"
"Actually, he just asked me..." Wen Lin chuckled mischievously as he stepped back, "'Why is Yu Yan angry?'"
Yu Yan momentarily forgot to breathe: "You... what did you say?"
"I said—" Wen Lin drawled, laughing as he fled under Yu Yan's murderous glare, "Ask him yourself!"
The rain outside the window had stopped. Moonlight filtered through the blinds, casting dappled shadows on the hospital bed. Yu Yan carefully pried open Fan Jinci's fingers, but was instead gripped by her wrist.
In his sleep, Fan Jinci unconsciously rubbed his wrist bones, as if confirming a certain temperature.
Yu Yan smiled, his eyes red.
At least this time, I didn't make him leave.
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