Chapter 5 (14)
Yu Jia felt that Li Ren was in a good mood recently.
She guessed the reason: first, her daughter went to study abroad and won a badminton championship as soon as she entered the school. Before she officially entered the undergraduate program, she became a small celebrity.
Of course, we have to thank Yuan Kai. It's his friends who greeted us, arranged for us, and even served as our temporary practice partners that made Sisi's success possible. Yuan Kai's friends also helped Sisi a lot with her studies and life. (In parentheses, female friends.)
Yu Jia didn't ask much, but instinctively guessed the woman had a crush on Yuan Kai. Otherwise, why would she be so excited the moment Yuan Kai told her that Sisi was his niece? Li Ren was naturally happy to see Sisi's progress. He was proud of his daughter; a father like a father will have a daughter like a dog.
Secondly, Liren seems to have relaxed his focus on work. He's put "Das Kapital" aside and is now reading ancient books, most recently Dunhuang studies. It's something he's always been interested in. Yu Jia, who comes from a Chinese background, knows a lot of characters, but unfortunately, she rarely gets to contribute to the books her husband enjoys, from "Das Kapital" in the past to Dunhuang studies now. She's never been to Dunhuang; all she knows are the Feitian (Flying Apsaras) and the stories of foreigners stealing cultural relics described in Yu Qiuyu's essays.
The couple still slept in separate rooms and still had nothing to say to each other. Even so, Yu Jia was still satisfied. The air pressure rose and the weather was clear.
Make progress little by little.
The publishing house has been in a state of turmoil lately. A new president has taken over, and he's been scrambling to get the job done. Pregnant women and mothers are complaining, and several are "exhausted." People like Yu Jia, who are in their prime, have had to shoulder the brunt of the workload, attending all the meetings and then sorting through the recordings. At least there's a child here to help Yu Jia. Director Zhang is also busy. Everyone in the department works until ten o'clock at night. When Yu Jia gets home, Li Ren is already asleep.
Yu Jia video-called Sisi. Sisi was surprised, "Mom, what time are you still up? Dad's been making a fuss again?" Yu Jia didn't bother to explain, just asking her daughter to be careful. The next day, she went back to work and worked for a long time. The matter was over. Finally getting a day off, Yu Jia ate only a few bites of food before rushing home to catch up on some sleep.
When she woke up, it was already eight o'clock in the evening. She heard a noise outside and called out. Di Liren responded. Yu Jia quickly got up and went to the bathroom to clean up. When she came out, she saw the small coffee table in front of the TV was neatly arranged. Five or six plastic bags were open, all of which were braised dishes. Liren was drinking a little wine and eating peanuts with chopsticks. Liren invited her to join him. Yu Jia was flattered and took the chopsticks and sat down next to her husband.
Pig ears, duck tongues, chicken gizzards, pig's trotters...it was like a delicatessen. The TV turned on, watching Focus Interview. Li Ren wanted to pour Yu Jia some wine again. Yu Jia had no choice but to go find a small cup.
After filling it up, she asked, "Anything good?"
Li Ren smiled and said nothing. After a pause, he said, "The boss wants to take me with him."
Yu Jia subconsciously said, "Good, good." But after thinking about it over again, he realized something was wrong. "Where are you taking it?"
"Qinghai."
"when?"
"It's almost done. It's considered a secondment."
"Then I have to pack up. The altitude over there is high. You may be okay, but you may need to adapt to it," she said to herself. "I don't know whether our unit will let me go or not, so I'll be assigned as an accompanying person." She began to plan for the future.
Li Ren interrupted her, half-smiling, "You're not going abroad as an ambassador, so why would you follow any of these orders? You should just do your job, and I'll go alone."
Yu Jia was stunned. A thunderclap struck her heart. Was she left behind again? Li Ren was going alone.
"How long?"
"It's hard to say. It depends on how long the boss lasts."
"You need someone to take care of you." Her voice trembled a little.
"Don't worry, the organization will take care of me."
"Can it be done?"
"Why not? You have your job and I have mine. Why do we have to stick together? We're an old married couple, so what's there to worry about?"
"Living apart...is not good." Her face was hot, probably because of the alcohol.
"Before, when I was here and you were in the provincial capital, I think it was better than now."
"Husband and wife need to stay together. Long-term separation will cause problems."
"What do you mean? Are you worried about me? Or yourself?" Li Ren's face darkened and he put down his chopsticks. "Sisi went out and asked you to follow her, but you didn't want to. I don't need to follow her, but you insisted. Why do you always go against the tide? I've arranged a job for you, and the child is grown up. Can't we all just settle down and work hard for a few years? These few years are the most crucial. If you can't go up, you will go down. People should have ideals, otherwise there's no point in living."
"I'm helping you, not harming you." Yu Jia said earnestly.
"Some of the Red Army's women and children were left behind during the Long March. It wasn't that I didn't want to take them with me, but I couldn't. That was Qinghai, on the plateau, and I was there to work, not to travel. Forcing them to take me with them would have been a burden."
"Have you always felt that I was a burden?" Yu Jia said sadly.
Li Ren was stunned for a moment. He didn't expect Yu Jia to say this. "Yes, it's a burden. You are a burden, and your whole family is a burden. But I tell myself that I have to do what I have to do, even if it's a responsibility. I accept it. But I'm also human. I get tired too, and I need to breathe."
Yu Jia was extremely shocked, but she appeared calm on the outside. "I can understand. You're up there now, with status and prestige, while I'm still a housewife. There's a huge gap between us."
"What do you mean?" Li Ren was angry. "Don't make me sound like Chen Shimei. I have no idea what to do outside. I just want to simply build a career! Is it that difficult?!"
"Does my career conflict with yours?"
"Why don't you understand?" he said anxiously. "We have changed. Times have changed. The right time, the right place, the right people—everything has changed."
"I haven't changed."
"I've changed! Okay!" He leaned back suddenly, as if giving up everything. "Don't you feel anything? What's become of our life? Is it interesting?"
"If there's a problem, solve it," Yu Jia said. "It can be fixed."
"You don't need to change. You're not wrong, and neither am I. Our daughter has grown up. You have your freedom, and I have mine. There's no need to tie us together."
Yu Jia's eyes were red and his hands were shaking. "I feel so uncomfortable when you do this..."
"Don't I feel uncomfortable?!" Li Ren shouted. "Do you think I want to solve my physiological problems casually? Do you think I don't want someone to communicate with me spiritually? Do you know that your so-called virtuousness makes people feel depressed? Do you know why your daughter insists on going abroad? She told me that she can't stand your control. We are all your slaves! Do you know what your daughter compares you to? She says you are the owner of Pansi Cave. This hot bed you have woven can entangle people to death! Suffocate to death! Do you know what you are like now?" As he spoke, Li Ren casually grabbed a few pairs of stretch pants of the same style but different colors that were sold on the sofa by Taobao. "These kinds of things have to be bought and returned. Really, let yourself go. Don't live such a hard life. How much time do we have left?"
Yu Jia cried.
Tears filled with hatred.
All those years of dedication to her daughter and husband had been in vain? No, in vain would have been better than nothing. Now it had the opposite effect. They all hated her, loathed her, and couldn't wait to leave her. What had she done wrong? She had only wanted to create a family, a social unit, a sense of dignity, a life that was fair and in line with public order and morality. But in the end, how could it all be her fault?
Li Ren stood up, took a long breath, and said with a sense of relief, "Really, let's separate."
Another thunderclap.
He came prepared.
Instantly, Yu Jia's five senses shut down, as she felt as if she were sinking into a boundless darkness. "Separate." Was it a breakup? Or a divorce? It was the word she hated most in her life. And yet, it came from Li Ren's mouth. After a three-second pause, she gradually took in the scene before her. Li Ren was still standing there. Finally, the hatred slowly rose from her chest, flooding her throat. She wanted to scream, to shout, but her throat felt as if it were sealed, and no words came out.
"Think about it again." Li Ren was very calm.
Yu Jia suddenly grabbed a pig's trotter and threw it at him.
In the middle of the chest.
There's a grease stain on the shirt.
Di Liren didn't want to fight any longer. He grabbed his coat, took the Dunhuang documents and "Das Kapital" and went out. He planned to spend the night at the company.
Unable to sleep, she tossed and turned. Yu Jia hadn't figured out the meaning of "separation." It was a temporary separation, a chance to calm down, him going to Qinghai while she stayed in the big city. Still, it was a divorce. She could still handle a separation, but if it meant divorce, she'd considered the worst-case scenario. She'd cry, make a scene, and then go to the organization to judge and decide. She'd forgive Di Liren for not acting recklessly.
She was afraid of divorce, unwilling to divorce. Divorce would mean the complete failure of her first half of life! It would make people laugh! But after careful analysis, she believed Li Ren wouldn't divorce. Divorce would break up the relationship, and regardless of whether he had cheated on her, public opinion would still consider him a traitor. Once he won the top spot in the imperial examination, he fell in love with someone else and abandoned his first wife. That would be a heinous crime!
Yu Jia felt fortunate that she still had public opinion to rely on, a last resort. In a career as a successful official, reputation was more important than life itself.
It was late at night, and the room was eerily quiet. Yu Jia's mind was swirling, and she didn't want to think anymore. She simply got up, grabbed the half-full bottle of wine, and drank it. She hoped she'd be able to sleep once she was drunk. But the wine only made her more awake, and she tossed and turned in bed until the early hours of the morning before finally taking a nap.
She regretted giving him a pig's trotter.
As dawn broke, Yu Jia's sense of crisis intensified. Li Ren hadn't called or sent a single message. She couldn't go to him now. The conflict had just begun, and she had to handle it calmly. But she felt bad and wanted to find someone to vent. Talk to Yu Yi? She was afraid his temper would explode. Yu Shuang was out of the question; even if Yu Qing wasn't dead, Shuang wouldn't be a good person to confide in. Rui was sensible, but she had never experienced marriage.
Only Yu Meng can understand.
Yu Jia asked Director Zhang for leave and called Yu Meng again. Yu Meng was in a good mood and immediately said she would come to pick her up.
Yu Meng said they wanted to find a place to eat, but Yu Jia said he was not in the mood and asked Yu Meng to drive home.
Entering the house, Yu Meng made tea. She hadn't asked many questions along the way, but seeing Jiajie's puffy eyes, she knew something was wrong. She figured it was Old Di. Besides him, Yu Meng didn't know who else could make Jiajie cry right now.
Yu Jia held the teacup and sighed repeatedly. There were many things she couldn't say, and she couldn't tell a lie for the moment.
"What's wrong?" Yu Meng held her arm, "What are you still dissatisfied with? The child is out, and your husband is getting a promotion..."
Yu Jia's mind buzzed, and she interrupted her, "How do you know he's going to be promoted?"
Yu Meng said proudly, "My elder sister, Lao Di asked me to find some connections."
"What kind of relationship are you looking for?"
"Find connections to show loyalty, loyalty to his boss."
"Have you found it?" Yu Jia straightened up.
"I found it," Yu Meng said lightly and proudly, "It seems to be of some use." She helped Li Ren, so she had to let Yu Jia appreciate this favor.
"Who asked you to help?!" Yu Jia lost control and shouted.
"No..." Yu Meng was dumbfounded.
"What a nonsense! What a nonsense!" Yu Jia's voice was hoarse. "He's going to Qinghai now! We're going to be separated again!"
Yu Meng felt wronged, so Li Ren knelt down and kowtowed to ask her for help. She helped, but was blamed by Yu Jia. How could this couple be on two fronts?
Yu Jia was furious, so Yu Meng had to persuade him, "Why is this happening... I really don't know... Calm down, calm down... Don't you know anything about this... You said I'm doing good things... How could I..."
Even as she spoke, Yu Meng was internally puzzling. Going to Qinghai wasn't a big deal; even going to Antarctica would be fine. Oh, she understood. Old Di was trying to get rid of Yu Jia. The problem had been brewing for a long time; this was just the beginning. It just so happened that Yu Meng, by being a good person, had run into trouble. Who could she turn to for justice?
At this point, she could only stand on Yu Jia's side and spat, "This Old Di is so unreasonable! Don't worry, Sister Jia, I will get him down the same way I got him up there." Yu Meng believed that she had the ability to turn things around.
"Enough! You're still causing more trouble!" Yu Jia was in tears.
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