Causal loop
It was an ordinary afternoon, the third year since I returned to the grassland.
Qi Diao Yanfei was performing a sky burial ceremony for an elderly man when she suddenly felt dizzy. As she raised her Sky Burial Knife toward the sky, the sunlight reflected from its blade revealed a familiar scene—the image of the universe shifting within the Mirror of Balance.
"Yanfei, are you okay?" Zhaxi Pingcuo supported her in time with concern in his eyes.
She shook her head, trying to dispel the strange hallucination: "I'm just a little dizzy, maybe the sun is too strong."
But deep down, she knew it wasn't an illusion. For the past three years, those sealed memories of time and space had quietly returned like a tide, especially during her sky burial ritual. The thin veil between life and death seemed to become transparent, allowing her to glimpse the truth of time and space.
That night, she had a lucid dream. In it, the Primordial Light stood before the Mirror of Balance. What was revealed wasn't the universe, but a vast, ever-expanding network of cause and effect. Within this network, she saw herself and Tashi Phuntsok not only as travelers through time and space, but also as key nodes in a vast, closed loop of cause and effect.
"The time has come," the Primordial Light in her dream said to her, "The loop is about to be closed, and you must make a choice."
When she woke up with a start, she found that Tashi Pingcuo had also woken up at the same time, with the same shock in his eyes.
"I dreamed..." He just opened his mouth when he was stopped by Qi Diao Yanfei.
"I dreamed about it too," she whispered, feeling a strange uneasiness in her heart.
The next day, this uneasiness became a reality.
They were drinking tea under a redwood tree when the entire prairie began to shake. It wasn't an earthquake, but something more fundamental—the very nature of space itself was trembling. A crack appeared in the sky, and through it, they saw a breathtaking sight: all of space and time was collapsing inward, centered on their prairie.
"What's going on?" Tashi Pingcuo immediately activated his guardian's perception. Although his power had been greatly weakened, his instincts remained.
The Biography of Tsangyang Gyatso's Poems on Qidiao Yanfei's chest suddenly emitted a strong light, and the pages turned automatically, finally stopping at a poem he had never seen before:
“The cycle of cause and effect will eventually have its consequences, and time and space will return in a circle.
The beginning is the end, and the end is the beginning again."
Just as they were trying to understand the meaning of the poem, a familiar yet unfamiliar figure walked out from the crack in the sky - it was the young Qi Diao Yanfei, the one who was still just a mourner.
The young Qi Diao Yan Fei, holding a Sky Burial Knife and with a stern look in her eyes, was visibly stunned when she saw them. "Who... are you?"
Immediately afterwards, another figure appeared - it was Tashi Phuntsok, who had just become the guardian of time and space, and was surrounded by unstable time and space energy.
"Yan Fei?" The two Tashi Pingcuo spoke at the same time, then looked at each other in shock.
Before they could react, more figures walked out from the cracks: those who had returned from Chang'an, those who had returned from the future Buddhist kingdom, those who had just had their weddings... Each one was their former selves at a certain point in time and space.
"Oh my god..." Qi Diao Yanfei took a step back. "All of us in all the timelines...are gathered here."
The young mourner Qi Diao Yanfei looked at everyone warily: "Is this some kind of illusion?"
The newlywed Qi Diao Yan Fei seemed to understand something: "I understand... This is the causal cycle that the Source Light spoke of."
The voice of the Primordial Light echoed in everyone's consciousness simultaneously: "Welcome to the convergence of cause and effect. As you can see, you from all timelines have been summoned here. Because a key truth is about to be revealed."
The shadow of the Mirror of Balance appeared above the grassland, and a shocking scene began to play in the mirror:
They saw that at the dawn of the universe, the primordial light, a unity of existence and nothingness, realized the meaninglessness of pure eternity. To experience the value of finiteness, it split itself into countless fragments and cast them into the nascent multiverse. The two core fragments among these fragments were the souls of Qidiao Yanfei and Tashi Phuntsok.
"Are we... fragments of the primordial light?" Tashi Phuntsok was incredulous.
"That's right." The voice of the First Light was filled with compassion. "All your journeys, all your sufferings, all your loves, were experiments I conducted to understand the meaning of finiteness. Now the experiment is about to end, and all the fragments will be reunited."
The scene in the mirror continued to change: they saw that when all the fragments were reunited, the Primordial Light would complete its transformation, becoming a complete being that truly understood the finite and the infinite, existence and nothingness. But the price was that all the individual consciousnesses created by the fragments would disappear, including Qi Diao Yanfei and Tashi Pingcuo.
"No..." The young Qi Diao Yan Fei shook his head, "I don't believe it! I have my own consciousness and my own emotions!"
Tashi Phuntsok, who had returned from the future Buddha Kingdom, also refuted: "Our love is real! It's not the product of some experiment!"
The voice of the Origin of Light remained calm: "Your consciousness and emotions are real, just as the experiences in dreams are real. But dreams will eventually end, and it is time to return to the source."
The shaking on the grassland became more intense, and they in different timelines began to become transparent, as if they would disappear at any time.
"Wait!" The current Qi Diao Yan Fei suddenly shouted, "If we are fragments of the original light, then we should have the right to choose! Even if we exist in dreams, we have the right to decide our own destiny!"
Qi Diao Yanfei and Tashi Pingcuo on all timelines stopped dissipating, and their eyes were focused on the present Qi Diao Yanfei.
The Origin of Light seemed a little surprised: "Choice?"
"Yes, choice." Qi Diao Yanfei stood in front of herself in all timelines. "You created us to understand finiteness, so you should respect the essence of finiteness—the right to choose. True finiteness means unpredictability and free will."
Tashi Phuntsok also stood beside her: "If everything is a predetermined experiment, then this kind of understanding itself is incomplete. True understanding should tolerate the unexpected and accept choices."
The Primordial Light fell silent. The space-time anomalies across the grassland paused, as if the universe itself were pondering this proposal.
After a long moment, the voice of the Origin of Light rang out again, but this time with a hint of uncertainty: "What choice do you... want?"
Qi Diao Yanfei exchanged glances with her selves in all timelines, then answered firmly, "We choose to continue existing, experiencing our limited lives with independent consciousness. We choose to preserve our love, our memories, all our laughter and tears."
"But this way I won't be able to complete my transformation..." Confusion appeared in the voice of the Origin of Light for the first time.
"No," the newlywed Qi Diao Yan Fei smiled, "It is through our independent choices that you can truly understand the meaning of limitation. By letting go, by respecting our free will, you can experience the truth you have always sought."
The Tashi Phuntsogs of all timelines said in unison: “Let us be windows into your limited understanding, not pawns in your experiments.”
The grassland fell into a long silence. The cracks in the sky began to slowly heal, and the shadow of the Mirror of Balance trembled slightly.
Finally, the Primordial Light responded: "You are right. If I force you to merge, then my understanding of the limited will always be incomplete. True understanding comes from respect and from letting go."
A wave of warmth swept across the grassland, and Qidiao Yanfei and Tashi Phuntsok in all timelines felt a deep sense of liberation. They did not disappear, but were given a truly independent existence.
"From this day forward," the Primordial Light declared, "you are no longer fragments, but complete, independent beings. You possess free will and can choose your own path. And I, by observing your choices, will continue my journey of enlightenment."
The rift in the sky completely healed, and the shadow of the Mirror of Balance gradually dissipated. The beings from each timeline began to vanish one by one, returning to their original time and space. But before vanishing, each one cast a grateful glance at the present Qi Diao Yan Fei and Tashi Phuntsok.
When the last figure disappeared, the grassland returned to peace. Only Qidiao Yanfei and Tashi Pingcuo remained, and the sense of liberation overflowing in their hearts.
"We... are free?" Qi Diao Yanfei asked softly, as if she couldn't believe it.
Tashi Phuntsok held her hand tightly and said: "We have always been free, but we only realize it now."
That night, they dreamed of the First Light again, but this time, it appeared as a friend.
"Thank you for teaching me the most important lessons," said the First Light. "True balance is not about control, but about respect; true love is not about possession, but about letting go."
In the dream, the Origin Light gave them the final gift - a miniature Mirror of Balance pendant.
"This pendant won't give you any power, but it will remind you that every choice matters, every moment is precious. Because it's finite, it's beautiful."
After waking up, they found that the pendant was really in their hands. Qi Diao Yanfei carefully hung it around her neck and felt an unprecedented sense of peace.
Life returned to normal. Qi Diao Yanfei continued her work as a sky burial master, but her mindset had completely changed. She viewed each farewell as a sacred ritual, a celebration of the fulfillment of a finite life. Tashi Phuntsok's medical skills also improved. He not only treated physical ailments but also helped people find inner peace.
A year later, Qi Diao Yanfei found out she was pregnant. The arrival of this new life gave them a deeper understanding of the finite and the infinite.
"This child," Qi Diao Yanfei stroked her slightly bulging belly, "is a life that truly belongs to this time and space. It has no memories of past lives, no shackles of time and space, only a pure, finite existence."
Tashi Phuntsok placed his hand on her belly, feeling the throbbing of life: “Through him, we will experience the purest form of finitude.”
On the day the child was born, a rare aurora appeared on the prairie. In the cabin under the redwood tree, a loud cry pierced the night sky.
He was a healthy boy, and they named him "Dawa," which means "moon" in Tibetan—symbolizing the natural cycle of waxing and waning, which is finite but beautiful.
Holding her newborn son, Qi Diao Yanfei shed tears of happiness: "Now, I truly understand the meaning of finiteness. It is precisely because life is limited that every hug is so precious; it is precisely because time is fleeting that every smile is so brilliant."
Tashi Phuntsok kissed her forehead and said, "We will use our limited lives to love the infinite you."
Outside the window, the aurora danced like ribbons, as if the entire universe was celebrating the arrival of this new life.
In the distant source of time and space, the primordial light watched this scene through the mirror of balance, and his heart was filled with unprecedented understanding.
"Now I understand," it whispered to itself, "that finitude is not a defect, but perfection. It is the end that makes the process meaningful, and it is death that makes life precious."
It made a decision: no longer to seek a fusion of the fragments, but to allow all the fragments to continue their independent journeys. Through these countless limited perspectives, it will experience true infinity.
On the grassland, Qi Diao Yanfei and Tashi Pingcuo did not know the decision of the Source Light, but they could feel that a deep harmony had been established.
That night, Qi Diao Yanfei wrote a new poem on the last page of "Poetry Biography of Tsangyang Gyatso":
“I don’t ask for eternity or envy immortality, as long as you are here before me at this moment.
Limited life, infinite love, the cycle of cause and effect will eventually be fulfilled."
Closing the book, she looked at her sleeping husband and son, her heart filled with a deep peace.
They experienced the miracle of time and space, witnessed the truth of the universe, and ultimately chose the most ordinary happiness. And this choice is the ultimate meaning of the entire causal cycle.
The starting point is the end, and the end is the starting point.
And love is the rainbow that connects the starting point and the end point, short and eternal, finite and infinite.
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