Chapter 19
Gu Mengzhu was preparing to go to the supermarket to buy a week's worth of groceries and daily necessities when Qi Yaoguang volunteered to help. She glanced at him expressionlessly, said "Whatever," and then ignored him, turning to grab her bag and leave.
How long is she going to stay angry?
He stared at her back, frowning as he thought.
He disliked the atmosphere; it was no different from the Cold War, as if he were merely a clingy tenant and she a kind landlady, nothing more. He hadn't moved in for this mere formality.
But what was the purpose of it?
He said he didn't understand.
The weather had been rather gloomy lately, threatening rain at any moment. The air was stifling, making it hard to breathe. They walked through the underpass, with electric scooters constantly whizzing by, horns blaring. A red dragonfly flitted against the wall, dizzy and unable to find its way out. Just as it slowly sank down, Qi Yaoguang reacted swiftly, catching the insect with his large hand. Gu Mengzhu, not entirely pleased, crossed her arms and asked him:
"Why are you catching dragonflies? They are beneficial insects, good for humans. Don't harm them."
He was stung by the coldness in her tone, and his heart felt heavy. He loosened his grip slightly, leaving a small gap for the dragonfly in his palm.
"I want to take it out and release it back into the wild."
"oh."
She turned her head and continued walking. He quickly followed.
“When I was a child, I played with dragonflies. I didn’t need to go to the fields or the mountains because they have wings, so they can go anywhere. I didn’t have any neighbors to play with, so they were my companions. Whenever it was about to rain, the sky over my house would be filled with dragonflies. If I stood in the middle of the yard, they would surround me, as if I were the center of the world, being watched by them, and being their king. But in the end, all these dragonflies would leave.”
He released his grip, letting the dragonfly in his palm fly away following the light of the exit. The dragonfly hovered for a moment, then flapped its wings and flew into the sky without hesitation. It flew higher and higher until it disappeared from sight, at which point Qi Yaoguang lowered his head. Gu Mengzhu remained silent.
“You seem,” he gave a wry smile, “not really interested in hearing this.”
"Yeah, I'm feeling a bit bored."
"Then I won't talk about it."
"oh."
They were still in a cold war, or perhaps he was the only one who thought they were, while she saw him as a thug she had to deal with out of necessity, forced to endure it. It's ridiculous, isn't it? Two people living under the same roof, yet their hearts are so far apart.
It would be better to go to jail.
Qi Yaoguang laughed self-deprecatingly, then bent down and stomped hard on the shadow under the lamp.
On her rare day off, Gu Mengzhu squatted in the entryway, stuffing her sandals into a plastic bag. She planned to do a part-time job at the beach to earn some extra money. The weather had been nice lately, the sun was strong, and the beach was suddenly packed with tourists. Someone in the group was recruiting cleaners to pick up trash and maintain cleanliness on the beach. She glanced at the post; the pay seemed decent, but it required getting up early, so she signed up in the group without a second thought. The rustling noises she made at the door caught his attention. Qi Yaoguang quickly got up, rubbed his sleepy eyes, and looked at her groggily.
"Did I disturb you? Sorry."
He shook his head:
Where to?
"seaside."
He suddenly became much more alert, rushed to the sink to wash his face, and left the house ahead of everyone else.
"I'll go too."
"I'm going there to make money, not to have fun."
"I want to go."
"You won't have any money if you go."
"Then I want to go too."
Gu Mengzhu ignored him completely, grabbed her backpack, and left. Qi Yaoguang, taking advantage of his long legs, followed her at a leisurely pace. Although she was annoyed, she couldn't do anything about it; she had no right to restrict someone's personal freedom. He glanced at her every now and then, but the woman's face was very sour, and she didn't even give him a second look on the way.
It's really unpleasant to be ignored.
He looked at her back as she moved from side to side with the movement of the carriage, her eyes drooping with a hint of grievance.
When will she forgive him? Will she forgive him?
The beach was crowded with tourists, and red and blue parasols were everywhere. Men walked around shirtless, while most women hid under the umbrellas, a few applying sunscreen and watching the passersby with contentment. Qi Yaoguang squinted at the children building sandcastles, casually wiping the sweat from the back of his neck. He had only been standing there a short while, and the sun was already making his skin burn.
"I told you not to come. Do as you please."
Gu Mengzhu glanced at him after putting on her sun hat; her arms were completely covered by arm sleeves. Her fully armed and prepared appearance seemed to mock him. She quickly turned around to report to the person in charge, leaving him with no choice but to stand there and wait. Large coconut leaves swayed in the treetops, and a slightly salty breeze blew in from the sea; he breathed a sigh of relief.
The beach was littered with trash, and Gu Mengzhu had to bend down to pick it up every time, her back aching after a while. Sand filled her shoes, making every step painful, but she dared not go barefoot. The sand contained many pieces of glass, and combined with the bacteria in the seawater, it was a serious possibility that she might need amputation. She didn't have the money for surgery. While others ran barefoot with carefree abandon, Gu Mengzhu suddenly straightened up, realizing that she was exactly the kind of person often described online—overly pessimistic.
There is no danger, only people who are wrapped up in fear, like her now, tightly wrapped up.
It was unbearably hot, so she stopped to wipe her sweat with her arm sleeves and took a couple of sips of water. During her break, she noticed that Qi Yaoguang was also busy, picking up bottles and jars from the sand with his bare hands. His two arms, which had already turned white, were exposed to the scorching sun and were sunburned red.
He came on his own initiative; it had nothing to do with her.
Gu Mengzhu tried to suppress the unease in her heart and looked away to continue drinking water.
Half an hour later, seeing that the trash in the area had been mostly cleaned up, she stopped in the shade and began observing the tourists. The women, dressed in beautiful swimsuits, confidently displayed their curves. Behind dark brown sunglasses were bright red lips, and long hair, blown by the wind, fell and cascaded down, partially obscuring their fair skin. The beauty of the women on the beach surged like waves, and she was captivated by this tropical allure, admiring it with a smile.
In the shallow water, a mother was watching her child intently, her arms outstretched as if she were about to scoop the child out of the water at any moment. Her eyes stung from watching, and she rubbed them in the sunlight.
Yes, how could a mother disregard her own child?
Qi Yaoguang was picking things up when he turned to look at her. Seeing that she wasn't moving, he followed her gaze and then suddenly blurted out:
"Wow, do you have to be so lewd? You even look at women?"
"Hey, I call this appreciating the beauty of the human body. Beauty, do you understand? All you ever think about is lowlife stuff! Go pick up your trash!"
She was embarrassed and annoyed by his words, and she bared her teeth and retorted.
He curled his lips into a smug smile.
"Oh, so you've finally decided to pay attention to me?"
Her face immediately turned cold:
"Shut up and get to work."
The lighthearted atmosphere vanished instantly. Qi Yaoguang felt a pang of regret, staring at her intently into the blazing sun, his eyes seemingly brimming with emotion. But she couldn't see it; she remained silent.
Not long after, the person in charge came to inspect. He glanced at the beach, counted the amount of trash, made a record, then took a picture with his phone and told her to clean other areas. Gu Mengzhu quickly grabbed the trash pickers she had just bought and followed behind. Qi Yaoguang watched from a distance, feeling very uncomfortable.
"Wow, he looks like a big star!"
He felt a sharp pain in his chest, as if stabbed, and looked up at the person who had spoken. He didn't recognize the man; he looked ordinary and unremarkable. Too lazy to argue, he continued picking up trash with his head down.
"Hey everyone, come take a look! A superstar! A former top celebrity! Now he's picking up trash on the beach!"
The man's voice was extremely loud, and more and more people were drawn to him by the loud voice, surrounding him and gathering together to discuss the matter.
"He does look a bit like that person."
"Is his surname Lin?"
"Your surname is Qi, right?"
"Don't celebrities all use pseudonyms? Is his real surname Qi?"
"Whether his surname is Lin or Qi, this is pretentious and obviously staged."
"Who is this? I don't recognize him at all. I think it's just a publicity stunt."
"This shabby place actually attracts internet celebrities to create hype? I'm amazed! Excuse me, let me through, I want to be on TV too!"
"Are they filming a movie? I don't see any cameras."
"I remember he didn't have a good reputation, and he retired from the entertainment industry a long time ago. How did he end up like this?"
"Tch, top influencer? These days, any Tom, Dick, or Harry can be called a top influencer."
The crowd erupted in laughter. Blocked by those around him, he couldn't move and could only lower his head and endure their mockery. Gu Mengzhu, taking advantage of her height, squeezed through the gap, glanced at him, and began shouting insults at the man:
"What's wrong with picking up trash? Can't you survive by picking up trash? Don't you know that working people are the most glorious? What, didn't your elementary school teacher teach you that you're not committing any crimes or breaking the law, and you're earning money honestly with your own hands? Is that not allowed? An idiot like you who looks down on people must have a very unhappy life, right?"
"Hey, have you said enough?!"
"Wow," she mouthed exaggeratedly, crossing her arms and shrinking her shoulders, looking terrified. "You're not planning to hit me, are you? It's one thing to look down on working people, but you're going to use force? This is a society governed by law, aren't we? Are you some kind soul? Is there anyone who can record this and call the police? He's trying to hit me. Everyone saw it, isn't he trying to assault me?"
Gathering on the beach was not a good thing, and soon people came to maintain order and disperse the crowd. Gu Mengzhu took advantage of the moment to pull the man away, took off his sun hat and put it on his head, then wrapped his face twice with her arm sleeves.
"Wait here."
She gave the order, her tone anything but harsh. Qi Yaoguang swallowed his malice, squatted down, buried his head, and waited quite a while before she returned. Sunglasses, a baseball cap, a mask, and beachwear—he pointed to the items handed to him, wondering where she had found them.
"Go back. All you'll do here is cause trouble."
He choked up suddenly, blinked rapidly a few times, and put on his sunglasses. His nose felt a little sore, and he pressed it twice without making a sound, not understanding why he was being so sentimental.
"Then I'm leaving."
Qi Yaoguang turned around immediately after speaking and strode towards the subway. He tried to walk with composure, at least not appearing too disheveled in front of her. He only came to his senses the moment the subway doors closed:
How embarrassing, she saw everything.
Just as he was regretting his actions, a man, not even looking where he was going, rammed straight into him. He grabbed the handrail on the bike twice to steady himself. The man walked a few steps, then stopped and stood still. After a few seconds, he turned around and gave him a deliberate, smug smile. He hadn't looked closely then, but now he noticed a tattoo on the man's arm. He had seen that spot so many times that he could even draw it.
Qi Yaoguang laughed, but his mouth tasted sour and bitter.
He knew it! In such a small place, who would recognize him? It turned out to be an enemy he had recently made.
Qi Yaoguang returned home and sat on the sofa, staring blankly at his phone. He had sent a message, but no one had replied for a long time; he didn't know what to do.
Will she forgive him?
He kept asking this question, and he never got an answer.
When Gu Mengzhu returned, she saw a face with ears drooping to the floor. A meal was already prepared on the table; she casually tossed her bag onto the sofa. While the two ate, Qi Yaoguang first stole a few glances, then guiltily spoke:
"Thank you for what happened during the day, but, I'm sorry, I—"
"You don't need to worry about it too much." She put down her chopsticks to stop talking. "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for myself."
“There are many times when I’m like you, not arguing, not explaining, and not fighting for myself. It sounds cowardly, right? Seeing you is like seeing myself. If only I could be braver back then and stand up for myself, I wouldn’t be like you, standing there like a fool being scolded.”
"You mean you don't care?"
She smiled and met his eyes:
"What do I have to care about? Should I care?"
Qi Yaoguang shut his mouth. She ate a few bites but lost her appetite, so she put down her chopsticks, got up, and went to get some water. He followed suit, his courage rising from his disgust for this indifference:
"Actually, you didn't talk much about yourself. Your story has always only been about yourself. As for me, I don't even need to tell you anything; you're just watching from the sidelines, yet you already know everything."
"My family went bankrupt, my mother died, my father is in jail, and me? A hopeless gambler, you know that. But what about me? I can only passively wait for you to talk. You seem so enthusiastic, always ready to open your heart to others, but in reality, you say nothing. (My family went bankrupt, my mother died, my father is in jail, what?)"
"Not only do you not say anything, you also turn your back on people, just like now, ignoring everyone, and I don't even know how to please you."
Gu Mengzhu turned around:
“I have no home, no story, so you don’t need to ask. But even though I have no home, this rented room is my home all to myself. You don’t need to try to please me either; you’re just staying here temporarily. You’ll leave once you pay back the money. Your name is Tenant, understand?”
A tear glistened in the corner of her eye. Qi Yaoguang sensed something was wrong from her fierce tone, so he reached out and pressed his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him.
"Look at me, look at me! With me here, you will never be alone."
She laughed mockingly and forcefully pried his hands away:
"I don't believe you. Besides, what you said is disgusting. Don't take yourself too seriously."
"Bang!" The door slammed shut again, leaving only one person speechless in the room.
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