Chapter 18 "Chen Xiaoyao, take me on a journey..."
Jiang Meng really hoped that Chen Jizhou would appear immediately.
She couldn't wait even a second longer; she wanted to see him as soon as she got out of the car.
She couldn't explain what her friend's presence would bring or change, but she felt much more relaxed if he was there.
Chen Jizhou possesses such magic.
Unfortunately, Ye Zhaoxu is at home today.
Jiang Meng opened the door and found her mother watching TV.
She stopped in the entryway and urgently sent Chen Jizhou a message: "Don't come yet, my mom's here."
Jiang Meng put away her phone, wiped her face to make sure there were no marks, and then looked at Ye Zhaoxu: "Weren't you going to play mahjong?"
"We didn't get everyone together."
Ye Zhaoxu didn't look at her closely; she was applying a face mask, slowly unfolding the edges of the mask around her jawline.
After a while, noticing Jiang Meng staring at him, Ye Zhaoxu finally gave her a serious look and asked, "What's wrong with you?"
Jiang Meng shook her head.
She lowered her head and walked towards her room. Glancing at her phone, Chen Jizhou replied with a single word: "Okay."
Will Mom find out?
Jiang Meng was curious and wanted to ask her about it.
Perhaps when faced with such a situation, sitting down with family and calmly discussing solutions is the most appropriate course of action.
But even with the question on her lips, Jiang Meng found it difficult to voice. Her current thought was more about avoiding the matter altogether.
She didn't know how to ask: "Mom, did Dad betray us?"
She didn't expect any answer.
Because any response would be hurtful.
However, she intuitively felt that her mother knew more than she did.
She was afraid her mother would find out.
She was afraid her mother would find out too.
When communicating with her mother, Jiang Meng would analyze every expression Ye Zhaoxu made, and even if Ye Zhaoxu lied, Jiang Meng would see through it immediately.
Without answers, one will drift further from the truth.
Forget it, don't ask anymore.
Don't ask anything.
She could also dismiss the spam text as a misunderstanding that it was sent to the wrong person.
Jiang Meng returned to her bed, deceiving herself, and became a coward.
That night, she called Su Yu.
Su Yu asked her what was wrong.
Jiang Meng said, "I've recently been reading a novel about a broken relationship that was mended. The two main characters had a very unpleasant breakup, but they ended up getting back together. But I always feel that once love is gone, it can never come back. How can it be mended?"
Su Yu thought for a long time and said, "Well, that means the love in the story hasn't disappeared at all. If there's no love, then it's gone."
Jiang Meng asked, tears streaming down her face, "Do you think so too?"
Jiang Meng is easily moved to tears; she cries while reading novels, watching movies, and even comedies. Su Yu couldn't guess what was wrong with her, so she didn't answer the question again, her voice weak: "I'm sorry, Jiang Meng, did I say something wrong?"
Jiang Meng muttered, "When others are unhappy, do you start to doubt your own fault?"
Su Yu: "Sometimes I reflexively doubt myself."
Jiang Meng didn't say anything.
Su Yu asked cautiously again, "Isn't it because of me?"
Jiang Meng didn't answer, but instead asked her, "Do you think I'm pretty?"
"It's beautiful."
Am I a good person?
"very good."
"If I weren't good-looking and had a bad personality, would you still be my friend?"
Su Yu said, "If you are not who you are now, and I am not who I am now, but we can still find each other, of course."
Jiang Meng kept wiping her eyes and nose with tissues.
Then I heard her say, "I think that people can develop feelings for each other because of fate, not because of external conditions."
After the call ended, Su Yu sent her a message: "Jiang Meng, I don't know why you're sad, but thank you for appearing in my life and giving me so much warmth. I'm so glad to be good friends with you, so glad to have met you, so happy and so fortunate."
She sent me an emoji of a little bunny hugging another little bunny.
Jiang Meng buried her face in the pillow, unable to hold back her tears.
She often thinks of herself as a hypocrite, and it's hard to say that the kindness she shows to others isn't partly ingratiating. The current Jiang Meng is the one who has been selected.
The way it is shaped by all the demanding requirements of growing up.
Jiang Meng is as sensible as possible.
Jiang Meng, who doesn't always excel in her studies, still manages to be among the best.
Jiang Meng is someone who doesn't smile much, but is cheerful and bright wherever she goes.
Because when her dad took a picture of her, he said that Mengmeng looks beautiful when she smiles.
That's why she became like this.
The real her is more like a magnolia fallen by the rain, or a withered rose.
She desperately craved love, only to be abandoned in the end.
September means exams right from the start of the school year.
The last question in the Chinese exam was still a topic-based essay, with the theme being "growth".
Jiang Meng made a draft and gently wrote on the paper.
When I Met You at Seven Years Old
Breakage occurs in the snow-covered season, as winter freezes everything in its wake—emotions, or things.
I was asleep when my father smashed the glass container used to hold fireflies on the ground, listening to my mother arguing with him.
He said casually, "I don't know what kind of bottle it was; I just threw it away when it broke."
Seven-year-old you stand deep within my dreams, still etched in my memory; you won't hear the sound of trash being cleared away.
—You ask me if I'm happy?
You carried your heavy schoolbag and skipped home with joy. You told them about the dreams you wrote in your essay: you wanted to be a teacher, a doctor, a scientist. They praised you as an ambitious child and rewarded you with a pretty lollipop.
I toiled day and night to earn a grade, then knocked on your door. It turns out that what's heavier than carrying a heavy schoolbag is how to train your breathing to keep up with disapproving looks.
My test paper was tossed aside.
I'm telling you, I'm very happy, I'm already in the closest place to my ideal.
—You ask me if I'm confused?
During your favorite reading time, I stand in a corner of the Xinhua Bookstore, easily reaching the books you couldn't otherwise reach. I open your favorite picture book, but Dad closes it for me, saying, "This isn't a book for you."
If you have a special fondness for fairy tales, you will finally find the words "Learning is a boundless sea, and hard work is the only way to get there" in every workbook you open.
Your favorite reading time taught me to face all the things I should and shouldn't do, and to let go of all the things I like and dislike.
I'm telling you, I'm not confused, and I don't need to wash your princess dresses anymore.
—You ask me if I feel lost?
In the shards of glass, I see eyes just like yours, and I hear distant blessings from your young parents.
The container is still warm from their bodies as they hand you the fireflies they painstakingly caught, saying, "Baby, may you grow up well."
I got lost in the quiet city at night, unable to find the firefly valley they talked about to cheer you up, but I still have to carry you on my back and keep going.
I'm telling you, I'm not disappointed. I no longer have any expectations about the contents of a container.
—You ask me if I still long to grow up?
The breaking occurs in the snow-covered season, as winter freezes everything in its wake.
My home, crumbling like glass, the courage I lost along the way, the love that will never return. They became cold, lifeless fragments, all swept into the trash can.
I said, I still long for change to happen.
Although I know very well that a seven-year-old firefly will not be able to fly to my coming-of-age ceremony, and you will never see all of this again.
Although I don't know whether it's my childhood that's leaving or myself.
-
Summer in Pingjiang is very long, extending into the start of a new school term.
When the first quarterly issue of the school journal came out in September, Jiang Meng's essay appeared in the essay magazine of Pingjiang No.1 Middle School.
The article's theme wasn't very good, and the grader gave it a low score. However, Jiang Meng's Chinese teacher liked it very much. She thought it was sincere and heartfelt, so she picked it out from a pile of exam papers and prominently published it on the title page.
Jiang Meng would go to the newsstand with Zhao Yuanting at the same time every week to buy Korean entertainment magazines. When she returned to campus, she was still cheerful, beautiful, and carefree.
As the auntie in the pavilion was rummaging through things, someone quietly appeared. The auntie noticed the tall boy who was leaning over and asked, "What do you want?"
Chen Jizhou gripped the rain shield above him, having to look down to meet the gaze of the person in the window. "Oasis."
The boy had a clear voice and a clean face, like a ray of sunshine appearing in a gloomy sky.
Zhao Yuanting smiled and greeted him with a "Hi".
Chen Jizhou smiled at her, but his gaze softened as he turned to Jiang Meng.
Jiang Meng took her magazine without saying a word, keeping him out of the corner of her eye.
"Did you see the concert?" he asked.
Jiang Meng looked at him curiously, then raised her face: "You also know about me going to the concert?"
“Su Yu said so,” Chen Jizhou said, taking the 161st issue of “Oasis” from the shopkeeper. “Thank you, Auntie.”
"I went before the start of the semester. It was quite lively and a great experience. I guess I'll go again after the college entrance exam." Jiang Meng looked at the campus magazine in his hand and then said, "I think there's an essay of mine in this issue."
Chen Jizhou immediately opened it, putting on airs: "Really? Then I'll have to appreciate and learn from it."
Jiang Meng helped him close the book: "Just enjoy it, forget about studying it. With your elementary school-level writing skills, you won't understand it anyway. You should be grateful if you get 55 points."
Chen Jizhou looked at her mocking smile, his expression turning serious.
She didn't bother him again for the rest of the summer vacation, as if nothing had happened. He didn't want to bring it up, as being too far away or too close seemed inappropriate.
Chen Jizhou had to admit that he had lost his composure during her long and silent period. Seeing her leave as if nothing had happened, and even a little excited, he stared at her back and couldn't help but call out from afar, "Jiang Meng."
As if knowing what he was about to say, Jiang Meng responded urgently, "I'm ready!"
Jiang Meng doesn't have a deskmate; her seat is alone by the window, and the rainbow from last semester has already been cleaned up by the students on duty.
But she often stared blankly at that spot, as if a real rainbow would appear there.
The rainbow didn't appear, and Jiang Meng didn't get better.
She studied at school every day, staying as late as she could. She filled her mind with knowledge so that she had no time to think about anything else.
I can't imagine my father patiently accompanying another person.
He can't imagine what his "son" will look like.
I can't imagine how he would call someone by their childhood nickname.
Back home, if Jiang Meng saw Jiang Su, she would become the one who actively kept silent. She would treat him as if he were invisible, not needing him to pick her up or drop her off, and refusing to eat at the same table with him.
Jiang Su mostly took it lightly, occasionally asking Ye Zhaoxu, "What's wrong with Mengmeng? She hides from me whenever she sees me."
Ye Zhaoxu, who was busy with school again, didn't take it to heart and said while working on the computer, "You're in your final year of high school and have a lot of work to do. If she doesn't want to see you, just stay away from her. I told you not to bother her."
For more than a month, Jiang Meng did not speak to her father.
She skipped over the vague truth of the matter and went straight to the point where she felt nauseous just seeing him.
She used her free time to watch movies.
Jiang Meng has recently developed a strong liking for movies, especially road movies with an escape theme. She enjoys finding a sense of freedom, like the wind, in these films. After watching a few, she became completely obsessed with this genre.
They were even itching to do something.
Jiang Meng suddenly had an idea. She found Xie Zhuo, who was studying, snatched his pen, and asked, "Do you want to go on a journey?"
Xie Zhuo glanced at the pen that had been taken away, then took the pen from his deskmate Xu Yichen's desk and continued writing without looking up: "Speak like a human being."
Jiang Meng: "Have you seen Thelma & Louise? I think the ending is super romantic. The two main characters drive off a cliff and fly away. It's so free, so romantic, and so cool!"
Xie Zhuo: "When other people fly out, they become free; when you fly out, you die."
"..."
Jiang Meng slammed her fist on the table, knocking over all the erasers on it.
That clueless, clueless straight man!
Jiang Meng returned to her seat.
Whenever Jiang Meng was at her wit's end, she would think of someone who would always help her and never spoil her mood.
She opened her phone and tapped on Chen Jizhou's personal information.
Chen Jizhou's profile picture is of an NBA star. Jiang Meng knows nothing about basketball. She thinks all black people look the same. It's hard to imagine that the person behind the profile picture is a super handsome guy. She has no desire to chat with him at all.
A's anime male profile picture is still cuter and gentler.
But A...
He didn't even want to see her.
Jiang Meng sent him a message without much hope: "Chen Xiaoyao, take me on a journey."
Five minutes later, Chen Jizhou replied: "Let's start with the incredibly boring English class. Time is of the essence, let's go downstairs immediately."
Jiang Meng's heart suddenly pounded when she saw his reply.
She still had two classes in the afternoon. She glanced at the time and realized that she would be able to escape during the long break on Friday. The chances of her being discovered should not be high.
Jiang Meng has never skipped a class since she was a child.
So when she was hurriedly packing her schoolbag, her heart was pounding in her throat, but her hands moved uncontrollably, full of anticipation, stuffing one item after another into the schoolbag.
Oh my god.
What is she thinking? What is she doing?
She might be crazy.
But Jiang Meng really wanted to leave.
If he really is waiting for her.
She desperately wanted to escape from this place, to get away from everything here. The environment, which made her feel suffocated and congested, almost suffocating her, was something she no longer wanted to stay in!
Jiang Meng, carrying her schoolbag, ran quickly to the square downstairs. The preparatory bell rang, and everyone rushed upstairs. She didn't dare to look to the side, afraid that a familiar teacher would be watching her or that she would be stopped. Fortunately, the journey was smooth, and Jiang Meng saw Chen Jizhou in the distance.
Seeing her approach, Chen Jizhou casually put one hand in his pocket, placed the other hand across his forehead, and smiled at her from a distance: "Even bookworms skip class?"
Seeing his smile, Jiang Meng flicked his backpack at him: "Aren't you annoying? Are you coming or not?"
"Really leaving?"
"real."
"Seriously, don't regret it. I won't allow you to slip away halfway through." Chen Jizhou smiled at her and backed away into the sunlight.
Looking at his rascal-like demeanor, Jiang Meng concluded the secret to liking to be with Chen Jizhou: he was too much fun.
Fun in every sense of the word.
Without even asking him where he was going, she resolutely left with him: "I'm just a little scared, what if the teacher finds out?"
Without hesitation, he said, "Just say I kidnapped you."
"If you're to blame it, then you're going to be in big trouble."
Chen Jizhou laughed: "At worst, I'll get a beating. I can take it."
Jiang Meng suddenly remembered something and looked towards the school gate guard post: "Hey, the security guard at the gate is checking leave slips."
The young man, walking leisurely ahead, arrogantly tossed out two leave slips, tucking them between his fingers.
She was overjoyed: "Chen Jizhou, are you Aladdin's lamp?!"
He spread his palms behind his ears, a smug smile on his face, meaning: Didn't hear me? Praise me again.
"I said—you're super handsome!"
She ran over and excitedly jumped into his arms.
Chen Jizhou sensed that she was coming, so he quickly moved the bag he was carrying on his back to his chest, caught Jiang Meng steadily, and ran forward in the hot afternoon breeze.
The security guard didn't stop them.
Once again, the journey was smooth and unobstructed.
"Yay! Escape successful!!" Jiang Meng wrapped one arm around his neck and raised the other hand high, reaching out to touch the warm leaves of the camphor trees on the old street.
As she spoke, she patted his shoulder again: "Am I heavy? I've gained weight recently."
Chen Jizhou just smiled and said, "Where is it heavy? You're like a child."
The last time Jiang Meng was carried by Chen Jizhou was when she was in junior high school. She fell and injured her leg on the stairs, making it difficult for her to go up and down. The teacher asked the boys in the class to carry her, but Jiang Meng was unhappy. She was extremely unhappy and didn't give anyone a friendly look. She didn't want any boys to touch her until her best friend came to her aid.
At that time, she asked the same question: Am I heavy?
He was saying: "Like a child."
Before heading to the station, Chen Jizhou went to a supermarket and bought some essential travel items.
Tissues, wet wipes, phone chargers, and...
sanitary napkin?
When the item was handed to him, Jiang Meng stared blankly at the sanitary napkin in his hand, then looked at him in a daze.
Chen Jizhou: "You seem to be only planning to do this in the next few days, right?"
They even remembered her birthdate.
Jiang Meng wanted to disappear into a crack in the ground.
"You..." She suddenly didn't know what expression to make. She puffed out her cheeks, frowned, opened her mouth, wanted to say something but swallowed it back. Finally, shame, anger, and other emotions were tangled up in her head like a ball of yarn. She couldn't help but yell, "You're a pervert!"
Chen Jizhou was quite generous, handing the item to her and telling her to keep it safe. He said frankly and calmly, "I don't want to be a pervert, but I'm afraid you'll forget. They probably don't sell these on the bullet train, just in case."
Jiang Meng snatched the bag away, gritting her teeth and muttering, in a sarcastic tone, "Thanks for reminding me, I think I forgot."
Chen Jizhou crossed his arms, bent down, and brought his handsome face close to hers. His vibrant and passionate youthful energy almost overflowed from his bright red lips and white teeth, but his tone was mocking: "Someone like you going out to wander? Can't you even take care of yourself?"
As Jiang Meng was stuffing her things into her schoolbag, she glanced up and saw his smiling face. She paused, suddenly remembering what her mother had said: "He's meticulous, which is perfect for someone as careless as you."
With her lips pouting so hard they looked like they were about to burst, Jiang Meng walked forward with her head down, only to be amusedly grabbed by the collar by someone: "Where are you going? The car's right here."
Jiang Meng was pulled back two steps by him and then stuffed into the taxi behind her.
When they finally arrived at the high-speed rail station, Jiang Meng stood there with her backpack, still in a daze of unreality. It was then that she suddenly realized that this was a trip without a plan. She had been watching too many movies and she had really gone crazy.
Chen Jizhou just went along with her madness.
Jiang Meng, dressed in her school uniform, stood amidst hurried travelers. Before her was the ticket hall. As Chen Jizhou, having paid his fare, walked towards her, her earlier indomitable spirit vanished, replaced by a hint of hesitation: "Are we really going to be homeless?"
Chen Jizhou handed her a bottle of water, smiled, and said, "I gave you a chance to back out earlier, but it's too late now. You're on a pirate ship now, and you still want to get off?"
Jiang Meng said, "It happened suddenly. I was afraid my parents would find out."
Just now she was a teacher, and now she's worried about her parents.
Today is Friday, tomorrow is Saturday. Classes aren't a big deal, but she hasn't explained things to her family yet; how can she not go home?
A wave of worry washed over Jiang Meng as she realized she was late, and a slight frown appeared on her face.
Chen Jizhou paused for a moment, then said to her quite seriously, "Since you've decided to leave, grant me a few requests."
Jiang Meng nodded: "Go ahead."
Chen Jizhou bent down slightly to be at her eye level, and said in a gentle tone as if coaxing a child, "Let go of all your worries, including but not limited to exam results, Mom and Dad, Monday. You have to believe that none of the things you're worried about will happen. From now on, feel what you see, be yourself in places where no one knows you, breathe freely, speak loudly, and no one will restrict you anymore. The car will keep moving forward, and I'll hold up the sky for you if it falls."
Jiang Meng looked at him quietly for a long while.
“Is that okay?” he said.
Jiang Meng nodded seriously, "Okay."
"Then repeat it?"
"If the sky falls, Chen Jizhou will hold it up for me."
"You're pretty good at grasping the key points." He smiled. "Ready?"
Jiang Meng held up her little finger.
Chen Jizhou understood what she meant, so he reached out his hand, made a pinky promise with her, and stamped it.
Give me your ID card.
Jiang Meng took out her ID from her bag.
He turned and went to the ticket office, took out five hundred yuan and handed it through the window: "Two tickets, to Yunzhou."
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