Blunt knife (II)
Fang Xiaocan must be hiding something from her again.
With such a firm belief, Zhou Zeyu had no intention of letting her off the hook and asked her directly.
"Don't you have anything to say to me?"
The other person seemed surprised by her words, paused for a moment, and then answered honestly, "Zhou Zeyu, I have so much to tell you, I just don't know which one to say right now."
"It's all bad news."
Zhou Zeyi was amused by her forced honesty. It wasn't that she was really curious about this whole bunch of bad news; after all, who would want to hear things they don't like?
She really hated being kept in the dark, as if she had been exiled to a remote desert island. Everyone knew exactly what was happening in Beijing, and then looked at her with knowing pity. This kind of sympathy was too insensitive and too hurtful; she didn't need it.
But her current situation is no different from being on a desert island. Belgrade is so far from Beijing that if she hadn't deliberately inquired, those messages would never have been able to get through.
The lack of information was a major reason why she stayed there at the time; it was better not to know anything, and ignorance was actually better for her.
However, after being kept in the dark about such a big news for so long, she suddenly realized that simply running away was not going to help.
There is no such thing as a completely idyllic paradise in this world. News may be spreading slowly, but it does exist. Even if she never knew what was happening in Beijing, she was still completely kicked out without any chance of recovery.
If that's the case, then what's the difference between knowing sooner and knowing later? Does news become milder just because it's filtered by layers of people?
Zhou Zeyu's eyes slowly turned sad as she lowered her head and stared at the cracked tile at her feet. "Go ahead and talk, I'm listening."
There was no answer on the other end of the phone. After a moment of silence, the conversation abruptly changed.
"Sigh, speaking of which, did you know that Cen Zheng stayed with the team after retiring?"
She was a little surprised: "Stay on the team? Didn't she just retire?"
“Yes,” Fang Xiaocan said without hiding the sarcasm in her words, as if this could relieve her pain. “She has a very powerful background. She was arranged to stay in the team and take up a post. Who can be as lucky as her?”
She knew that Fang Xiaocan had always harbored resentment towards Cen Zheng, so she didn't say much. In fact, Zhou Zeyu didn't care at all what Cen Zheng would do after retiring, as it was too far away for her at the moment.
If she were still in Beijing preparing for the competition, she might have sighed a bit about how lucky she was and lamented her own situation. But she's in Belgrade, so there's no room for sighing or lamenting; all that's left is perhaps numbness.
"Okay, I understand," she replied indifferently.
Fang Xiaocan didn't explain it clearly, but Zhou Zeyu already understood.
In fact, the phenomenon of a generational gap had appeared long ago. It was just that Zhou Zeyu was at the height of his power at that time, so people always had the illusion that he was invincible. But in reality, the hidden dangers had already been sown at that time.
Most of the previous generation have retired, and there are few outstanding talents in the next generation. This situation is particularly evident in the women's team, especially after Zhou Zeyu's injury. Cen Zheng had already stepped down to the second line, but he had no choice but to be forced to return to the first team. When Cen Zheng retires, there will really be no one to take over this mess.
The team faces significant problems in training and management, with athletes' injuries and health risks being difficult to ignore. Teamwork and communication are clearly insufficient, not to mention the major loopholes in talent selection and talent development.
Problems that could have been ignored in the past have become increasingly apparent in recent years. Originally, they could still save face by winning the championship, but after Zhou Zeyu's defeat, they didn't even have that chance, and the problems were suddenly exposed to the light of day.
They are like termites, corroding the team until all that's left is a state of utter disarray. But who's willing to deal with this? Everyone's afraid of getting their hands dirty. Managing it well doesn't bring credit, but managing it poorly means taking responsibility. Who's so foolish as to step up?
"Coach Huang asked you, and you refused to do it?"
Fang Xiaocan snorted coldly, making no attempt to hide her contempt: "He just wants to find someone to temporarily replace me. He doesn't really value me. Once he finds someone more obedient, won't I become a pawn? I'm not going to do something so stupid."
"I was originally thinking about what reason to use to refuse, but I fell and injured myself last month, and I'm still recovering from surgery, so there's no need to think about that anymore."
Zhou Zeyu sensed a hint of sadness hidden beneath her seemingly cheerful words. Of course, which athlete would joke about injuries? Ultimately, it's a matter of having no other choice but to find joy in hardship.
"Is your injury getting any better?"
"That's fine," she said vaguely. "Anyway, even if I don't get injured, I won't be able to play. Isn't everyone saying we should make room for the younger generation? We've made room for them all, but I don't see many of them making it big."
Zhou Zeyu heard himself let out a hoarse laugh, "You still have such a sharp tongue, no wonder Coach Huang doesn't like you."
Fang Xiaocan sighed and said, "Don't think I'm being mean, but you've been sweet-talking and obedient for so many years, but it's no use. You do whatever he tells you to do, and you never listen to his word. Do you see him showing you any mercy? They say the child who doesn't cry doesn't get candy, and I think that's really true."
Zhou Zeyi didn't find her words offensive at all; they were the truth, and the truth was never as sweet or pleasant as it was to hear.
She thought that blind obedience would satisfy those people, so she did all the dirty and hard work without complaint, and flew all over the world as if it were training. She kept putting off dealing with her injuries, but in the end, she always had to be the first to step up in the competition. In the end, she ended up like this, and no one will pity her.
What's the point of obeying? Resisting isn't necessarily effective either, so this is actually an unsolvable problem.
"Come on, the saying goes, 'No one who doesn't cry gets candy.' Does that mean we'll get candy if we both go and cry? I don't think it has anything to do with whether we cry or not."
Fang Xiaocan laughed heartily, but Zhou Zeyu felt a strange bitterness in his ears: "Yeah, yeah, we've been in the team for so many years, and now we don't even have a place to live. If we told the media, they probably wouldn't believe us."
Reality is always more absurd than imagination, that's for sure. If their current situation were reported, how many people would believe it?
Both of them dominated international competitions and won countless championships. One of them is stuck in a cast in the hospital, while the other is forced to grow weeds in a foreign land. Even marketing accounts probably wouldn't dare to imagine such a scenario.
Zhou Zeyi and Fang Xiaocan seemed to have the same idea and both gave a bitter laugh. However, their laughter sounded more like a painful lament, not happy at all, but rather quite eerie.
"So what's the situation now?"
"What else could be going on? Didn't you already guess?"
Even though she had already thought of this, she still felt an overwhelming sense of disappointment when it was actually confirmed by Fang Xiaocan.
She tried to make her tone sound more nonchalant, at least not so much like jealousy. In fact, jealousy isn't quite accurate either; after everything she'd been through, being jealous of her successor was a foolish thing to do.
Because you're not sure if she'll be on the same path as you.
"These things really are a case of timing being better than early. You know, we've worked hard in the team for so many years, and you only took over Cen Zheng's position a few years ago. But Feng Yifan, who just arrived not long ago, has encountered such a leaderless situation. Isn't this just her taking advantage of the situation?"
Even so, both of them knew that Coach Huang had no other choice and she was the best option.
Fang Xiaocan clearly looked down on this position, and Coach Huang also thought she was arrogant. As for the others, they were either unstable or had bad tempers and lacked leadership. The kids who had just been selected couldn't possibly rise to the top overnight. The only suitable one left was Feng Yifan.
She had only recently joined the first team, but had been working diligently in the second team for many years. After years of silence, she made a name for herself. She is skilled, has a good temper, is reliable, and is calm and focused. She is actually very suitable for this position.
"What does it matter whether she's suitable or not? The most important thing is that Coach Huang selected her, isn't it?" Fang Xiaocan pointed out incisively.
Zhou Zeyu forced a weak smile. She had no right to mock Feng Yifan, after all, she herself had risen to power thanks to Cen Zheng. In truth, they were both people with connections.
Hearing that she remained silent, Fang Xiaocan realized that what she had said earlier was inappropriate, and exclaimed a few times before quickly explaining to her.
“Everyone has seen what you’ve done over the years, and no one will blame you,” she said. “Zhou Zeyu, stop thinking about that. You’ve already done enough for Cen Zheng’s kindness in helping you. You and she are even now!”
A clean break? What exactly constitutes a clean break?
Zhou Zeyi didn't think she had done enough. In fact, she was always regretting it, wondering if she hadn't done enough, if she hadn't given it her all. Otherwise, why could she never do as well as Cen Zheng? Why was what Cen Zheng left her intact, but what she took over became fragmented? This was actually her fault.
She failed to meet Cen Zheng's expectations, failed to shoulder the responsibilities of the Beijing team and the national team, failed to be a perfect captain like her, and failed to win that final. She failed to do any of the three important things well.
Later, she slowly became afraid of seeing Cen Zheng, and even hearing her name would make her subconsciously want to run away. She was afraid that Cen Zheng would be disappointed in her and tell her that her choice back then was completely wrong, and that she shouldn't have even taken the initiative to talk to her.
Zhou Zeyu would rather die than see such a scene.
However, the person on the other end of the phone was shouting frantically, trying to pull her out of her self-pity, yelling, "Zhou Zeyu, you're not allowed to keep thinking like this!"
"You've done everything you could. If you continued to disregard your health like this, you would have died in Beijing long ago!"
"Die in Beijing," Zhou Zeyu silently pondered these four words. It seemed that someone had also earnestly advised her with the same words, but she hadn't listened at the time.
The word "death" is always too unfamiliar to young people. She only knew how to keep going regardless of the consequences, not knowing what the end of the road was. In fact, it was very likely that it would be neither success nor failure, but death. But Zhou Zeyu was lucky to escape.
"I really don't understand why you always deny yourself, Zhou Zeyi. You've done far more than you realize."
Fang Xiaocan's voice came from afar. Zhou Zeyu opened her eyes again and found that her phone had fallen to the ground at some point. Fang Xiaocan's voice came through the floor tiles, weak but firm.
“At that time, Cen Zheng temporarily stepped down due to psychological issues, and you took her place. All the team’s commercial activities were dumped on you. You didn’t like it, you didn’t like it at all, but you still did it diligently without complaint, didn’t you?”
"You suffered frequent injuries due to overtraining, and then you were cyberbullied because of your endorsement. Even at this point, you were still thinking about mediating the communication barriers between the coach and the players, and busy getting the new and old players to get along. With so many internal conflicts, who remembers your good points? They all vented their resentment on you, scolding you for being irresponsible and lacking accountability. Who would have thought that you were so injured at that time that you couldn't even walk?"
Fang Xiaocan said indignantly, "I think you're an idiot too. You hobble over with a cane to coordinate with the logistics department. Do you think you have a say in visa and transportation issues? They just dump all these things on you because they think you're easy to bully. It's clearly the logistics department's problem, so how come the delay is being blamed on you? You've been blaming the hotel for three years!"
"Being a captain, being a captain is so prestigious. Do you think everyone is like Cen Zheng, with others doing all the work? Otherwise, how could you be so carefree? Only you are stupid enough to do everything yourself, which is thankless and you end up hurting yourself, which is what others want."
"Zhou Zeyu, you're so stupid you're dead!"
The stupid Zhou Zeyu just listened quietly to her words, without any desire to speak for a moment. In fact, there was nothing to say, since Fang Xiaocan had already said everything.
Zhou Zeyu felt a heavy, suffocating feeling in his heart, and remained silent. His phone also stopped making any noise.
She heard her own thin voice ring out, somewhat abruptly, "But... this is what I should be doing."
Since you have gained more than the average person, you should naturally give back an equal amount; this is a basic principle.
It was precisely for this reason that Zhou Zeyu was willing to do it.
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