Chapter 93 Extra: Adventures in Masturbating 4
Shang Qinghua was so scared that he almost cried.
I actually followed him back. I never expected it... No, strictly speaking, it can't be considered as the "mysterious elusiveness". This was originally a special skill that I developed so that Mobei-kun could help Brother Bing to kill people, set fires and assassinate people anytime and anywhere!
Shang Qinghua continued to talk: “Your Majesty, please listen to my explanation. When I went out that day, I met a familiar senior brother. I was afraid that he would ask too many questions and reveal his flaws. If he went to find you, Your Majesty, it would be bad for your trouble. In addition, your injuries are no longer serious. After thinking it over, I decided to endure the humiliation and return with them, and then act according to the situation in the future…”
The hand that Mo Beijun was holding on his temple seemed to get tired of it and switched to the other one.
"He asked you to come back, so you came back with him."
Shang Qinghua said aggrievedly, “What else can I do? Resist submission? Fight? How can I do that? Not to mention that I can’t beat them, more importantly, I have to be your undercover agent, how can I tear my face off with the Cangqiong Mountain Sect so early?”
Taking advantage of the current momentum, he said: "Report to the king, I am now an inner sect disciple. Isn't it full of enthusiasm? Isn't there a lot of room for advancement?..."
Dogleg. Dogleg beyond words.
However, no matter how servile he appears to be, he is calm inside.
He has always believed that:
1. Gold on the man's knees (in the correct order);
2 Men don't shed tears easily. If not now, when will they shed tears?
These two life principles told him that when necessary, it was okay to be a bit servile.
Think about it from another perspective. Mobei Jun is a character he created. To an author, he is like his own son. It is nothing for a father to care for his son and love him more. As the saying goes, children are the debts of their parents in their previous lives...
Bang, bang, bang, bang. Shang Qinghua, who had received a good beating, squatted on a chair with his knees hugged, and skillfully used the Ah Q Spiritual Method to heal his injuries.
After stretching his muscles, Mo Beijun lay back on the bed, stretched his waist, turned over, and faced Shang Qinghua with his back. A voice that was neither too high nor too low came out with a hint of sleepiness: "Continue tomorrow."
…
Still going on?!
Shang Qinghua had the urge to yell and call the entire Cangqiong Mountain Sect to die with him.
Of course, the reason why impulse is impulse is that it can often be curbed but cannot be implemented.
Mobei-Jun didn't even take off his boots, just lying on his new bed that he had never slept in before. Shang Qinghua felt extremely upset.
"Your Majesty, this is Cangqiong Mountain."
A pillow with extremely strong destructive power flew over and hit Shang Qinghua, causing him to grimace.
Shang Qinghua picked up the pillow and said tactfully, “Your Majesty, this is my bed.”
Mobei Jun raised a finger and shook it.
He said two words in a cold and noble manner: "Mine."
Got it.
Because he was Mobei Jun's, his things were also Mobei Jun's. Naturally, the bed was also Mobei Jun's.
As for whether the reverse inference is valid? This is when Fat Tiger's theory comes into play: what's mine is yours, and what's yours is still yours.
Shang Qinghua rolled off the chair in dismay, silently picked up the broken pieces of the teacup under his feet, and began to hum the tune "I lie on the ground and you sleep on the bed. I eat bran and you drink meat soup" while tidying up the new room.
At least I got a pillow as a reward. I didn't even have one before. Be content with what you have and sleep with it in your arms.
Today, Shang Qinghua is as hardworking as a happy little bee.
After sleeping in Xianrenju for three days, Mobei-Jun disappeared without a word.
Only then did Shang Qinghua deeply realize how unscientific the cheat he had given Mobei-Jun was—three days. In three days, no one had actually discovered that a demon clan had come to Anding Peak in a big way, treating the future (logistics) elite disciples like cattle and horses!
No warning! No suspicion! Nothing!
Just like a liberated peasant singing a song, Shang Qinghua was very excited and wandered around for a while until he received the mission assigned by the old leader of Anding Peak.
Although the missions at Anding Peak are nothing more than trivial matters in life, the only difference is whether the battles are in the rear or on the front lines, but being closer to dangerous creatures makes one inevitably feel uneasy.
For example, when Bai Zhan Peak is in the middle of a fierce fight with the vengeful spirits, you rush up to deliver health-replenishing pills. This mission seems extremely brutal no matter how you look at it!
Fortunately, Mobei-Jun is still very capable of protecting others.
Shang Qinghua originally thought that he had forgotten about himself, but he didn’t expect that several times when he got into trouble, he was picked up by creatures that looked like demons, saving his life.
...Is this considered as tacit acceptance of his surrender? ? ?
Thinking about it afterwards, Shang Qinghua couldn't help but feel that clinging to someone powerful was still quite useful.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t be alive today!
By the way, the concise and to the point System Master gave Shang Qinghua a new instruction: to become the chief disciple of Anding Peak within three years.
In addition to performing well under the "care" of Mobei Jun when performing tasks outside, if you want to become the chief disciple, you must also spend a lot of time and effort inside the Cangqiong Mountain Sect.
As everyone knows, the IQ of the cannon fodder and supporting characters in "The Proud Immortal Demon Path" is only 40, so the so-called palace intrigue is probably about this level:
Assume that the old peak master of Anding Peak already has a chief disciple A, who is very outstanding (excellent = proficient in everything from serving tea to delivering water and washing clothes to folding quilts, worthy of being the head of the housekeeping service center). One day, the old peak master asked A to bake twelve delicious cakes and send one to each peak.
All Shang Qinghua needed to do was to secretly sprinkle a bunch of salt or sugar on the cookies carefully baked by A every time to make them taste terrible.
The above process was repeated three times. OK, the old peak master was finally completely disappointed with the former eldest disciple.
Think about it: if you can't even bake a cake, what else can you do?
At this point, if Shang Qinghua showed off his superb cooking skills a few more times, he would be able to successfully take the top spot!
As the saying goes: If you don't have enough IQ, make up for it with complaints. If you can't do the best, then do the worst.
It is a success if the plot is so stupid that it can make readers complain like crazy!
There are countless such plots in The Proud Immortal and the Devil, and the fact that readers have been criticizing it for many years is a great spectacle in the terminal book review area. The most powerful critic is that peerless cucumber.
Thinking of this, Shang Qinghua couldn't help but miss his friends in the book review section and this gentleman.
I really miss the sight of him roaring endlessly, "Shoot planes into the sky! It is because you have this kind of thinking that you are just a third-rate stud writer!!!"
However, after becoming the chief disciple of Anding Peak, his troubles only increased.
For example, when I was an outer disciple, I would not have the opportunity to go down the mountain on a mission with Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge.
This is a special prize that one would have to be unlucky for several lifetimes to win.
The Cangqiong Mountain School places great emphasis on the connection between peers, and it is common for several chief disciples to team up to brush up on the dungeon regularly. The division of labor among the three people this time is very clear. Liu Qingge is the front-line fighter; Shen Qingqiu is the midfielder, responsible for the false and the treacherous [cross out] as well as sneak attacks and finishing blows, and waving the fan to show off [cross out].
Where is Shang Qinghua?
Of course, he was responsible for driving the carriage, booking inns, carrying things, and all the income and expenses of the trip. Logistics.
I wish it were really that cheap.
"It is said that at night, if you look into the well, you will see your reflection smiling and waving, and then it will suddenly pull you in and drown you. Sometimes you will even see your dead relatives... ahem, Senior Brother Shen and Junior Brother Liu... please listen to me first..."
Shang Qinghua put down the file.
Shen Qingqiu could feel a book in his sleeves. He could pretend to be cool at any time, sitting or standing. At this moment, he was leaning against the shadowy old banyan tree, showing his knowledge of poetry and books. Liu Qingge had already stood by the well, looking inside.
Liu Qingge wanted to end the battle quickly so as not to continue to be with Shen Qingqiu, while Shen Qingqiu wanted Liu Qingge to finish the hard labor and leave as soon as possible. Neither of them wanted to get close to the other and make him hate them. They each had their own considerations, and no one was listening to his conscientious explanation of the mission.
Liu Qingge raised his head and said, "No."
Shang Qinghua understood. It meant "my reflection is not waving and smiling at me inside."
He spread his hands and said, "This...how about letting Senior Brother Shen try it?"
Shen Qingqiu put away the book, replaced it with a folding fan, and walked to the well: "Please make way for me if you have any trouble."
Liu Qingge had already retreated a dozen steps away. Shen Qingqiu looked into the well carelessly, but it seemed that he had not gained anything.
Shang Qinghua flipped through the file and said in a whim, "How strange! It clearly says this..."
Unfortunately, no matter how loud the flipping sounded, it couldn't cover up Shen Qingqiu's malicious voice: "We've tried everything, isn't it your turn?"
As expected, even monsters in this world bully the weak and fear the strong. When the other two looked, they couldn't see a single thing, but when it was Shang Qinghua's turn, he was the only one who could see his own shadow posing in the well.
Without saying a word, Liu Qingge clapped the hilt of his sword, and Cheng Luan unsheathed it, piercing into the well water like a rainbow.
After a moment's silence, bubbles began to rise from the calm surface of the well water.
Shang Qinghua retreated again and again with interest, creating a safe distance. There was only a burst of ghostly howling, and a large number of flocculent souls gushed out into the sky!
Liu Qingge knocked down the group of women's heads that were chasing and biting him, and said, "Back off!"
According to custom, once the fight started, the Anding Peak disciples who did not provide supplies should run away as far as possible, and go wherever it was cool. Unfortunately, Shang Qinghua miscalculated this time, and did not run far enough, and the way he came and went was surrounded by vengeful spirits that dispersed into white smoke. At this point, he had no choice but to use his signature skill, rolled his eyes, and lay down on the ground.
Playing dead always works!
In the melee, Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu's backs accidentally touched each other, and both of them showed disgust at the same time. Shen Qingqiu had already backhanded a critical hit, which flew past Liu Qingge's shoulder. Liu Qingge was angry and immediately returned a hit.
Now the main fighting force completely ignored the enemy and started fighting on their own.
Shen Qingqiu scolded: "Are you blind? Where are you hitting?!"
柳清歌也不比他斯文：“誰先打的？誰先瞎的？！”
尚清華躺在地上，白眼直翻，他看得分明，剛才柳清歌側前方有一條幽白的影子，沈清秋那一下越過柳清歌肩頭，打散了它。眼看兩人互砍的陣仗越來越大，又快殺紅了眼，他裝死也顧不上了，坐起來弱弱叫道：“你們不要吵架嘛。柳師弟你誤會了，其實剛才沈師兄他是……”
沈清秋一甩手，尚清華腦袋邊的牆壁被轟出了幾道深深的裂縫，灰簌簌下撲。
沈清秋涼嗖嗖地道：“要死就死得徹底，別半途起來。”
尚清華一句話也不說了，倒下繼續安心挺屍。
一只不漏地把井妖和它收集的怨靈們封在回收容器裏，尚清華引來馬車，柳清歌目不斜視，往另一條道上走。
尚清華忙道：“師弟，你去哪兒呢？”
柳清歌哼道：“我不和偷襲同門的人同行。”
沈清秋拍手笑道：“如此甚好，我也不想和有力無腦的人同行。尚師弟，走了。”
他捏了捏尚清華的肩，尚清華哎哎哎龇牙咧嘴地答應了，好容易掙脫魔爪，他追上柳清歌，叮囑道：“柳師弟，師兄有一句話奉勸。沒事不要一個人練功，容易走火入魔。”
柳清歌還沒說話，那頭沈清秋扇子柄敲了敲車杆。尚清華忙趕回去。
一路上，他一邊趕車，一邊盯沈清秋。
沈清秋原本在靠着車廂看書，被他盯得臉色越來越陰，眯了眯眼：“你看我幹什麽？”
尚清華含羞帶怯道：“……沈師兄，其實我不想提醒你的。不過既然你誠心誠意地問了，那我就……你的書拿倒了。”
“……”
沈清秋的臉紅了一剎那，突然拔劍而起。
“不不不不不不要沖動！！！”
沈清秋這厮臉皮最薄，當面拆他臺，他能記你一輩子。像他這種裝b功力爐火純青的人居然能把書拿倒，看來剛才着實氣得不輕。
也對，好不容易做回好事吧，結果不盡人意。不盡人意你就和柳清歌直說嘛，他又不肯，連自己要幫他解釋都被打斷了。這人真是不能七彎八扭，自己折騰自己。
沈清秋目如蛇蠍，尚清華冷汗流了一背，半晌，他才坐了回去，收劍入鞘，努力平息，皮笑肉不笑道：“尚清華，你閉嘴，行嗎？”
尚清華心癢難耐，舉手道：“我能再說一句嗎？”
沈清秋一擡下颔，示意準奏。尚清華認認真真地看着他，說出了自從被電流抽到狂傲仙魔途裏面後，最語重心長的一段話：
“如果你今後見到有人走火入魔呢，你不要慌，也不要貿貿然上去想幫忙救人。千萬要鎮定，出去叫人，不要自己動手。否則，絕對會幫倒忙，捅大簍子，從此自暴自棄，一輩子不得翻身，跳進黃河也洗不清！”
沈清秋莫名其妙：“旁人走火入魔與我何幹。我為什麽要慌，我為什麽要幫忙？”
尚清華一臉“我就知道會是這種反應”，道：“……總之你記住就是啦。”
等到尚清華做了峰主，他終于可以不用再露骨地做小伏低了。
忙碌命仍舊是忙碌命，不過好歹從粗使丫鬟升級成為了大內總管，也算是長足進步吧。
聽說清靜峰上那位得罪不起的主兒病了一場。病好以後，穹頂峰上低調地開了一個秘密會議。
穹頂峰偏殿。
十二峰峰主到齊了十一個。
岳清源凝神道：“你們覺不覺得，清秋師弟……這些日子來很怪。”
數位峰主紛紛附和。
柳清歌肅然道：“豈止是怪。”
齊清萋嘀咕：“簡直是變了一個人。”
尚清華就是在此時風塵仆仆踏入偏殿的。近年來，千草峰的龍骨香瓜子在外面賣的不錯，他已在外為銷路奔走數月。剛回來就被莫名其妙拉來開會，還有些搞不清狀況，他搓手道：“這個，我有一段日子沒見沈師兄了，諸位能說說，具體是怎麽個怪法嗎？”
岳清源道：“他能和我心平氣和地說上一個時辰的話。”
“……”尚清華悚然道：“好怪啊。那是真的很怪！”
照說這兩位之間結着一個死疙瘩。此結不解，斷沒有融洽起來的可能。
柳清歌道：“他在靈犀洞……幫了我一把。”
尚清華這才想起來，對啊，這個時間線，柳清歌應該已經被沈清秋坑死了才對，怎麽還能活蹦亂跳坐這兒開會？！
難道是當年打井妖那茬兒，自己給沈清秋的提醒起了作用？
其他人繼續總結近段時間來沈清秋的種種異常之處，什麽為打退不知好歹的魔族妖女自己負傷啦、什麽關愛弟子挺身相護啦……尚清華聽得臉都要扭曲了，他思前想後，這種舍己為人的人設，怎麽看都嚴重ooc了啊！
他忍不住道：“打住。他……不會是被奪舍了吧？魏師兄，你們試劍臺那兒怎麽樣，他去過嗎？”
魏清巍萬劍峰試劍臺上有一把從未有人能拔出的奇劍“紅鏡”，但凡奸邪妖魔一類靠近，劍身會自動出鞘。若是沈清秋真被不淨物附體，只要他靠近試劍臺，紅鏡必然警聲大作。
而魏清巍道：“他走過去三次，還試着拔了三次，毫無動靜。”
“而且他身上沒有鬼氣。”岳清源緩緩道：“我覺察不出被奪舍的跡象。”
齊清萋攤手道：“若是奪舍，又說不通。奪舍總歸要有所圖謀吧。這些日子他無所事事的。”
一陣議論，莫衷一是。最後，木清芳道：“也未必是奪舍，依我看，說不定是沈師兄的老毛病又犯了。”
衆峰主面面相觑。
“老毛病”是啥，無需挑明，大家都懂的。
沈清秋修煉急于求成也不是第一天了，沒準是他又走火入魔了。
木清芳繼續分析道：“人被巨石砸中頭部，會失去一些過往記憶。那麽走火入魔而性情大變，也未必不可能。”
岳清源道：“那還有可能恢複嗎？”
齊清萋皺皺鼻子：“掌門師兄，莫非你還希望他想起來，恢複以前那種，呃。”
岳清源怔了怔，低頭道：“我也不知道。”他認真地道：“雖然他現在這樣也很好……只是，能想起來，還是想起來得更好。”
有峰主不解道：“以往他見了掌門師兄和同門從不好好打招呼，也不登門拜訪，講話還綿裏藏針的，有什麽好的。還是現在這樣好些。”
岳清源微微一笑，并不說話。木清芳為難道：“上次我寫無可解藥方的時候，順便幫他看過了。沒什麽頭緒，難以入手，恐怕只能順其自然。”
得出了“清靜峰峰主失憶了，喜大普奔”的結論後，散會了。
此次會議過後，尚清華覺得，針對這個異狀，他很有必要（在給清靜峰派送經費的時候順便）視察一番。
視察之前，尚清華先去的是百戰峰。
照理說，蒼穹山派各峰論資歷，清靜峰排第二，百戰峰排第七，送完了第一位的穹頂峰，緊接着應該按順序先送清靜峰才是。可一來，沈清秋太難伺候了，尚清華每次都要絞盡腦汁想怎麽樣說話才不會得罪他；二來，百戰峰能打好戰，先送他們的經費，尚清華比較安心。
怎麽個安心法？嗯，就是經營門面的小個體戶給地方一霸交了保護費的那種安心法……
迎接他的是柳清歌的師弟季珏，一如既往的熱情，雙方寒暄幾句，交接完畢，季珏道：“那尚師兄慢走，我回演武場去了。”
尚清華看他神情，似乎不願自己走的這麽快，問道：“近來柳師弟經常在百戰峰上逗留嘛。是哪位師弟境界大增了？”
柳清歌常年在外尋人鬥毆，百戰峰上無人是他對手，一個月最多只回一次。什麽時候百戰峰成群結隊去千草峰拉治療了，那就是他剛回來一趟了。然而近期，千草峰山門的門檻都要被百戰峰的大爺們踏破了，經費也吃緊，木清芳隔三差五找尚清華通融一番，他覺得奇怪，才有此一問。
季珏郁郁道：“并不是我們峰上的。是沈清秋。”
尚清華壓根沒指望聽到什麽石破天驚的答案，微笑點頭：“哦，沈清秋啊……沈清秋？！”
消化了這三個字帶來的巨大信息量，尚清華險些駭得直接飛升。
沈清秋？在百戰峰？而且在百戰峰演武場？幹什麽？被柳清歌單方面毆打嗎？不對，依他拉仇恨值的能力應該是被群毆——出人命怎麽辦？他可是重要的人渣反派啊！
季珏：“……尚師兄你這是什麽眼神！不要這樣看我！我們沒殺人！沈清秋還活着，誰都沒對他怎麽樣！你應該問的是他對我們怎麽樣了！”
于是，尚清華跟着他一路小跑到了演武場。
玄武岩的高臺上，柳清歌和沈清秋居然真的在規規矩矩地比劍。
柳清歌動作比平時慢得多，與其說是比劍，倒不如說是在喂招。眉宇之間也還算平和，并無以往的殺氣。
恰逢此時，沈清秋一劍刺空。他一皺眉頭，左手微微一動，
尚清華的心猛地緊繃了，眼角瞥見一旁季珏也神情一凜，似乎有叫出聲的沖動。
兩人對視一眼，心有靈犀。
季珏心有餘悸，低聲道：“我總覺得沈清秋立刻就要放點淬毒暗器什麽的。”
尚清華深表同感：“英雄所見略同！”看來季師弟對這個角色的理解十分透徹啊！不愧是曾經和沈清秋在妓院大打出手、丢盡了兩峰臉面的老仇人……
沈清秋收回修雅，立定而思。他一不嗖嗖冷笑，二不橫眼看人，這麽瞧着，溫眉和眼，倒也有點謙謙修雅的君子之風。
須臾，沈清秋道：“不明白。”
柳清歌随手挽了個淩厲的劍花，道：“哪裏不明白？”
季珏身旁一名弟子忽然□□道：“天哪，他又不明白了。”
另一名弟子小聲道：“我……我不行了……我肚子不舒服我先下去了……”
季珏忙道：“師弟等等我，我也……”
師弟把他推回來：“呆着！你不是剛回來嗎！”
場上，沈清秋道：“剛才那幾招，如果我右手對你出劍，左手扣一記靈力暴擊，尋機會打在你小腹上，還是有機會贏的。”
柳清歌嗤道：“沒可能。”
沈清秋堅持：“有可能。”
柳清歌：“能贏，你為何不試？”
沈清秋矜持道：“這不是切磋嘛，動真格多不好。”
柳清歌不跟他多話，朝場下道：“來個人！”
被他随手點到的人如易水壯士，一臉視死如歸地上了場，仿着沈清秋的路子和柳清歌對戰了幾招，直接被乘鸾劍氣轟飛。
柳清歌這才收劍回鞘，對沈清秋道：“看到了嗎？行不通。”
沈清秋一展折扇，在胸前搖了搖，笑吟吟地道：“看到了。柳師弟反應太快。果然行不通。”
季珏對尚清華低聲控訴道：“他每次一說‘不明白’，柳師兄就要找個人上來示範，直到他明白為止……”
難怪近日百戰峰傷殘人口只增不減，千草峰門庭若市。
尚清華只有一個想法。
沈清秋這厮絕壁是故意的！！！
下場後，柳清歌繼續訓（bao）練（da）百戰峰弟子們。沈清秋和尚清華打過招呼，一齊朝山下走去。臨出山門時，季珏倒提着兩只麻袋過來，要送給沈清秋和尚清華。
尚清華不明所以，解開帶子看了看，只見兩團血糊糊毛茸茸的東西窩在裏面：“這是……”
季珏神情呆板地道：“柳師兄獵回來的短毛怪，聽說味道很好，兩位師兄可帶回峰上自行烹饪。”
短毛怪？短毛怪？他有設定過這種怪物嗎？！能吃的？你認真的？！
沈清秋看上去也十分懷疑這東西的可食用性：“費心了……”
季珏棒讀道：“師兄說，這是給上次清靜峰送來的茶葉的回禮。”
尚清華心裏叫卧槽，臉上嘻嘻笑：“如此說來，我這是沾了沈師兄的光。就是不知道是什麽樣的好茶葉？”
沈清秋和藹可親道：“是我大弟子明帆家裏茶田收的。至于好不好，尚師弟順便到清靜峰來吃一吃不就知道了？”
尚清華腆着臉道：“那我也再沾一沾柳師兄的光好了。”
于是一人拖着一只麻袋，東拉西扯，往清靜峰上走。
甫一入山門，幽風拂面，鳥語細細，與外界格外不同。兩人踩在滿地柔軟的青青落竹上，倍覺神清氣爽。
沈清秋不知為何，心情甚是不錯，瞧着半點也不像剛輸給柳清歌的樣子，反而閑閑地贊道：“柳師弟劍法當真不錯。”
尚清華忍不住提醒道：“沈師兄你……輸了幾次？”
沈清秋想了想：“嗯？嗯，你問今早？也就七八次吧。”
那你怎麽能這麽平靜？！
不是應該咬牙切齒梨花帶雨（……）杜鵑泣血甩手回去閉關三個月發誓再戰嗎？
你ooc了知道嗎？！敬業點行不行？！
沈清秋用扇子柄敲了敲後頸：“輸給百戰峰峰主，也沒辦法。不如說贏了才是不正常吧。”
“……”尚清華感覺沒法和他交流了。
這兄友弟恭同門和諧友愛的畫面居然出現在沈清秋和柳清歌之間——天啦撸，說不定再過幾天，沈清秋和洛冰河也能打情罵俏了！
他腦子裏這個可怕的畫面剛一閃而過，只見一道白影竄過來。沈清秋懷裏突然撲了個黏糊糊的東西。
那軟成一團的東西叫道：“師尊！”
沈清秋被他撲的險些仰面朝天倒，歪了歪，扶着一只粗竹，好容易站穩了，見尚清華正面無表情地冷眼旁觀。
看着那雙手金剛箍一般圈着沈清秋腰的小帥哥胚子，尚清華一聲“冰哥”幾乎就要脫口而出！
沈清秋一只手僵直地搖扇子，不尴不尬道：“叫就叫，不許拖長嗓子叫。成天往人身上撲，你師叔尚且在這裏，成何體統！”
洛冰河慢吞吞收手，站直了，乖巧地先喊了一聲尚師叔，才道：“弟子做完早課之後，就一直在這裏等師尊回來，一時高興，忘乎所以了……”
尚清華的內心幾乎是崩潰的。
洛冰河改為挽着沈清秋的手臂：“師尊，今天為何去了這麽久？”
“今天……人多吧。”
洛冰河自然而然接過沈清秋手裏提着的麻袋：“下次我也能去嗎？”
“那要看你劍法長進如何了。”沈清秋順口道：“袋子裏面不知道是什麽怪物，你柳師叔說可以吃，你看看能不能把毛弄幹淨，是怎麽個吃法。”
“哦。”洛冰河高高興興應了，抖了抖袋子，裏面的東西忽然掙紮起來。
“師尊，還是活的！”
到了竹舍的會客小廳裏，沈清秋那幾個徒弟還圍着那只麻袋裏的不明生物輪流戳，戳一下那只短毛怪就發出凄慘的哀叫，他們還興奮不已，啧啧稱奇：“師尊，真的是活的！”
“活的怎麽辦？還是殺了吃？”
“不要吧，好可憐……”
尚清華努力忽視這群随地亂坐的小弟子們，低頭喝茶，內心抽搐。
記得上次來的時候，所有弟子都一臉苦大仇深，站如松坐如鐘，人手一本古籍，念咒一樣走到哪念到哪，說話引經據典抑揚頓挫。再看如今……這還是以裝b文藝青年輩出而聞名的清靜峰嗎？
整個兒一多動症兒童托管所。
沈清秋道：“活的那就養着吧。”
明帆連忙反對：“吃了吧，還是吃了吧，咱們又沒養過，不知道它要吃多少，換水散步什麽的也好麻煩……”
寧嬰嬰撅嘴道：“得了吧，養也肯定不歸你養，師尊當然給阿洛養啦。”
她擡頭問：“師尊，這個奇怪的東西您上哪兒捉來的？”
“百戰峰峰主送的。茶葉回禮。”
寧嬰嬰聞言，哼哼唧唧道：“師尊，我不喜歡百戰峰，他們好讨厭……上次他們仗着劍法好欺負阿洛，還追着他打……”
尚清華心道：這很正常嘛。百戰峰一脈對洛冰河的惡感是渾然天成的。可能是一種單細胞生物對潛在邪惡因素的直覺吧。
寧嬰嬰數落完，要求道：“師尊，你一定要幫我們狠狠教訓他們！”
“噗——”沈清秋嗆了一下，轉向尚清華，得體地笑道：“咳咳……這孩子，瞎說什麽……同門之間要和諧友愛，怎麽能動不動狠狠教訓呢？”
尚清華連聲稱是，報以同樣的幹笑，拼命喝茶。
嬰嬰妹子啊，不用你師尊出手，柳清歌已經教訓的他們很慘了。事實是沈清秋負責“和諧友愛”，柳清歌負責“狠狠教訓”……不愧為僞君子本色！尚清華深感欣慰，沈清秋，果然還是那個陰險的沈清秋！
恰逢此時，洛冰河取來了茶葉，進廳來呈給尚清華。沈清秋道：“來師弟，承蒙安定峰一直以來的照顧……”
地上卻還蹲着個不依不饒的，寧嬰嬰激動道：“師尊，你一定要給阿洛出口氣啊！”
“……”沈清秋忍無可忍：“嬰嬰，出去玩兒！”
洛冰河忙道：“出氣什麽的千萬不要。只是弟子技不如人，給師尊和清靜峰丢臉了。”
沈清秋安慰道：“你只是根基暫時不太好，只要用功，假以時日，定能超越他們。”
明帆鄙夷道：“超越百戰峰，就他，等一百年啦。”寧嬰嬰大發脾氣：“這麽瞧不起咱們清靜峰瞧不起阿洛，你上百戰峰去好了，看他們肯不肯收你！”沈清秋扶額：“不是讓你們出去玩兒了嗎？怎麽還在這兒？！冰河快把他們弄出去，別在這兒丢人現眼。”
……
尚清華感覺自己要心肌梗塞了。
這沈清秋牌紅燭園丁和洛冰河牌貼心小棉襖都是些什麽鬼！
您特麽千萬別告訴我沈清秋真是為了給洛冰河出氣才去百戰峰捉弄人的！
This loving father and filial son... Pah Pah Pah, holding their cases in the same line... Pah Pah Pah, the scene of them treating each other with respect is even more fantastic than the peaceful exchange between Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge. If things continue to develop like this, maybe one day they will really have a flirtatious fight. Pah, if that time really comes, he will swallow three pounds of hot shit.
By the way, Airplane Chicory has always been bad at using idioms. The few idioms I know are all used to describe Liu Mingyan's beauty. The most frequently used ones are "soft breasts trembling" and "blowable". "Respect each other like guests" should be used correctly here...