Chapter 94 Extra: Adventures in Masturbating 5

At that time, the diligent and earnest Xiang Tian shot the plane without knowing that the scum villain Shen Qingqiu had been replaced by the peerless sprayer and the peerless cucumber. ,The latest chapter visit: . . . しw0.

Sometimes, when he was too aggressive towards this guy, he would curse him and pray viciously that he would die and never be able to use his power again. Unexpectedly, to some extent, this curse came true.

Brother Bing is in a particularly bad mood these days.

Shang Qinghua could understand it. As the male protagonist who could do anything he wanted in the original novel, he had now "brought" Shen Qingqiu here and locked him up—and he was actually just locked up. He was just locked up, nothing else.

Can you believe it?! Even he, the original author, couldn't believe it!

If Bing Ge could still be controlled by his pen, based on the principle of "making the protagonist happy means making the readers happy", he would definitely let Luo Binghe rape Shen Qingqiu hundreds of times like frying pancakes (there is absolutely no personal grudge between him and Peerless Huanggua. Absolutely not). The props, positions and scenes would all be different. It would be easier to talk after it is cooked, and as it is fried, feelings would naturally develop...

Comparing this to Bing Ge's current hard and simple life, where he had not tasted meat for three years, Shang Qinghua felt even more distressed for his own son.

Therefore, no one without brains would dare to go up and cause trouble at this moment.

Everyone in the underground palace's meeting room was busy with their own things. Sha Hualing was mending her giant net of immortal ropes that was blown apart by Shen Qingqiu, while secretly glancing at Luo Binghe, biting her lips unwillingly from time to time. Mo Beijun was half dozing off with his eyes downcast at the west end, and Shang Qinghua was so idle that his legs were shaking.

He really had nothing to do and didn't want to come to the meeting room. But this was the demon clan's territory, and if he didn't follow Mobei-Jun closely, he might be eaten alive by other alien creatures.

Just when he was about to crawl to Mobei Jun's side and risk being beaten to ask the king to take a nap in a more relaxed atmosphere, Luo Binghe suddenly said two words.

"if."

All the demons in the hall pricked up their ears.

Luo Binghe asked: "If you have feelings for someone special, how can you make him understand your feelings?"

her!

This is just a desperate attempt to find a cure!

Although he asked very subtly, no one could tell that he was asking for love advice.

He actually brought this matter to his subordinates for a serious discussion. Humans (devils) really can't fall in love. Once they fall in love, their IQ drops sharply.

Of course, no one would tear down his stage and reveal it directly, but this question is too... incompatible with the style of the demon clan. For a while, no one answered. In fact, the answer is so simple that any ordinary person can answer it. If you like, just say it directly. But there is no "ordinary" person present, and no one is a "human" except Shang Qinghua. Mo Beijun thought about it. With his brain circuit, he didn't know what he understood as "unusual", and said: "Beating three times a day?"

Luo Binghe made a "stop" gesture with one hand and said wisely: "You don't have to answer."

Among the people present, the only one who has a gender advantage and may be good at this kind of problem is Sakarin, so everyone else's eyes are on her. Sakarin, who is very popular in the original work, has a look on her face saying "wtf why do I have to provide this kind of consultation to the man I want to get with", and twitches her beautiful eyebrows and mouth corners: "Why don't you ask the dream demon senior?"

Luo Binghe said: "I have asked."

No one knew better than Shang Qinghua what kind of "piss" and "sexy" answers the Nightmare could give. This person, like him, was definitely a "fuck it first" type! Shang Qinghua couldn't help but let out a "Puha" sound and broke his composure.

Sha Hualing was just feeling frustrated and had no place to vent her anger, so she took this opportunity to explode: "How dare you! Who the hell are you? Not only did you dare to sneak into the meeting room, you even dared to disturb the scene when the king was discussing important matters!"

This kind of question...can't be called a discussion of important matters, and he just sprayed it once, how can it be "disturbing the scene"? Since it wasn't the first time that Sha Hualing had picked on him, Shang Qinghua was able to take it lightly, sitting there quietly, pretending to be a mass of air. Sure enough, Mobei Jun was indifferent. Seeing that no one paid attention to her, Sha Hualing twisted her nails in resentment and said, "Your Majesty, Mobei Jun takes him everywhere with him every day, never avoiding suspicion, even bringing him to the meeting room, what on earth is this?"

Luo Binghe was also indifferent: "You see him every day, haven't you gotten used to it yet?"

Sahara almost fainted.

This was the first time in a few months that Brother Bing had expressed his opinion on his existence! Shang Qinghua's heart suddenly danced with ecstasy, "My son paid attention to me, paid attention to me, hahahahaha." Who knew that Luo Binghe looked at him and said, "Since you're laughing, does that mean you have something to say?"

"..." Shang Qinghua was speechless. Sha Hualing laughed, "Your Majesty, what you asked is very true. Since he is so familiar with Shen... and others, he must have some extraordinary insights. We are all ears."

Shang Qinghua turned his head to look at Mobei-Jun who was sitting behind him. Seeing that he really had no intention of helping him out, he steeled his heart and said decisively, “… This… Of course I have something to say! The secret lies in one word: ‘entanglement’!”

"As the saying goes, a strong woman is afraid of a clinging man, and a strong man is afraid of a coquettish woman. With enough effort, an iron rod can be ground into a needle. Even if it is straightened into an embroidery needle, it can be bent into a paper clip!"

Sha Hualing said: "What's the point of talking about straight and crooked? Don't speak the dialect of the human world. My Lord, I think he is just deliberately playing tricks on Xuanxu!"

Luo Binghe was completely in the mood, and murmured, "Isn't it enough that I'm pestering you? Not enough?"

Shang Qinghua spoke nonstop, “Entanglement is the main policy direction, but in addition to this one word, there is another very important point that needs to be noted. Gentlemen, you must know that women’s love comes from admiration, and men’s love comes from pity. We will not discuss the situation of women for the time being. I believe that no woman will not be impressed by your peerless divine power and heaven-defying demeanor, so we will only discuss the other situation. If you want a man to understand you, no, you, understand your feelings and respond, what should you do? It’s very easy. There is no man who doesn’t like weak, cute, and docile objects. So what is cute? Cute is someone or something that can arouse people’s inner pity, so the object must be very well-behaved and…”

Flattery and nonsense were flying at the same time, and everyone in the hall was looking at Luo Binghe who was sitting high above: his face was gloomy, his pupils were red, and he was filled with murderous aura. He was simply the most vivid annotation of the word "inviolable". The distance between him and the words "weak", "cute", "gentle", and "well-behaved" was as far as the sky.

Sahualing couldn't help but spit.

Shang Qinghua quickly shut up. Luo Binghe rubbed his temples: "Go on."

After getting the nod, Shang Qinghua continued his analysis. He said with ill intentions: “We can take Shen Qingqiu as an example. He is a straight man… What does a straight man mean? Oh, a straight man is a normal man… Of course, I am not saying that you, my Lord, are abnormal. He values ​​his dignity as a teacher. Teachers like to favor obedient students, so if you want him to like you, the first step is to be obedient…”

All the demons and monsters in the room were almost stunned by his outspokenness.

Sha Hualing: "How dare you! Do you want my Lord to pretend to be pitiful and listen to him? My Lord is the Lord of the Demon Realm, how can you do such a shameful thing!!!"

That's what I mean!

Sasa, turn your head and look at your master's thoughtful expression. He looks like he finds this kind of thing embarrassing?

Shang Qinghua was so passionate and eloquent that when he finished his 20-minute love consultation, Sha Hualing had strangled him thousands of times with her eyes. So as soon as Luo Binghe left, Shang Qinghua quickly moved to Mo Beijun's side, leaning close to him, seeking protection.

Mobei Jun squinted at him and said, "So if you want to be liked by men, the most effective way is to act pitiful?"

Shang Qinghua thought about it, "Theoretically, is this correct?"

Mobei Jun extended his hand.

Shang Qinghua thought he was going to be beaten again, so he quickly covered his head. But he didn't feel the expected pain. Mo Beijun just tapped him lightly on the top of his head.

Then he stood up, looking in a good mood, and walked out of the meeting room. Although Shang Qinghua was puzzled, he could not resist the eager gaze of Sha Hualing, and hurriedly followed him.

In the end, there was still a big fight.

The Boneyard was blown up into a mass of flying sand and rolling dust, just as he had envisioned in his original outline.

He also showed his bravery by saving the flightless Mobei-Jun. When he grabbed his hand in mid-air, Shang Qinghua could clearly see the astonishment in his eyes.

Perhaps because of his good performance, his salary has recently increased and he has been allowed to visit his hometown in Cangqiong Mountain.

Yue Qingyuan, this great and kind man, forgot his past grudges and allowed him to return to Anding Peak to continue to be a nominal peak master. These days in Xianrenju, Shang Qinghua was really bored for the first time. After cracking the stock of melon seeds, he suddenly remembered that the system had not made any sound for a long time.

Shang Qinghua rarely took the initiative to poke the system, and the system gave him a shocking response.

System: Goal achieved. Downloading attachments for returning to the city.

Shang Qinghua: “…”

After a moment, he began to shake the (non-existent) system's shoulders wildly: "Goal achieved?! Return to city attachment?! Which return to city attachment?! Is it the one I thought of? Huh? System, this is the first time you have said so many words, please say a few more words, please, say it quickly!!!"

System: The original design of "The Path of the Proud Immortal Demon" has been basically achieved, the emotional line has slightly deviated, and the goal has been achieved. The attachment to return to the original world has been downloaded. Please ask whether to activate the return to city program.

He agrees that the original design is basically achieved, and all the holes that need to be filled have been filled, but the "slight deviation in the love line" is not right, how can it be called a "slight deviation" when Bing Ge has gone gay? Well, okay, okay, in fact, in his original design, Bing Ge did not have a love line, so it doesn't matter if you want to add one, so all that nonsense... Does it mean that he can go back to the original world? ! ? !

Shang Qinghua's face was covered with tears.

He hasn't written for a long time. He missed the pink and black account "向天打飞机", the group of trolls in the book review section, the rich people who rewarded him, the laptop he had been using since his freshman year, which often crashed, the huge files in the hard drive, and the boxes of instant noodles piled up spectacularly behind the swivel chair. He had bought them at wholesale prices but hadn't had time to try the latest flavors yet.

The system pops up a dialog box: Attachments downloaded. Do you want to enable it? followed by two buttons of different colors.

We'll talk about it next time.

Shang Qinghua impulsively wanted to press the red button on the left.

But I don't know what grabbed my arm.

In fact, he doesn't have any relatives there.

His parents divorced when he was young, and each of them went their separate ways and started their own new families. Whenever they had a meal together, he always felt that his presence was very abrupt, and he would politely pick up food and smile politely, more politely than when he was having a meal with a real stranger.

Although his father is his legal guardian, when they are not together, except for the occasional phone call during the Chinese New Year and other holidays to ask if he needs money, there is no more "interaction" between the two. Sometimes he even forgets to ask him if he needs money, and he never reminds him. No matter where he is or who he is facing, he is most accustomed to and good at making fun of others.

After all, they are adults, and there is no way to ask them to pay for college tuition. He has to find a way to pay for his living expenses on his own.

It was during that time when he was “thinking of a solution” that he accidentally registered an alias for “Endpoint” and started writing.

In the beginning, it was purely for venting, I wrote whatever I wanted, and although it was terribly failed and even had trouble getting on the shelves, it actually received some praise from a special group of people.

One day, I suddenly wanted to change my style to see if I could save the subscriptions that my editor had already neglected to care about, so I created the popular novel "The Proud Immortal and Demonic Path".

Shooting the plane into the sky suddenly became clear, and he "thought of a solution".

The more I write, the more I stay at home. The more I stay at home, the more I write. As a typical otaku, all the people I have good relationships with and who have similar temperaments to me are online, and they are all from all over the world. I basically don’t have any friends like this.

Stop.

Mobei-kun? Friend?

He actually defined Mobei-Jun as a "friend"? !

Shang Qinghua was frightened by himself, and hurriedly went to get a bag of Qiancao Peak's specialty dragon bone melon seeds, ate three pounds of them to calm his nerves, and then went to sleep.

When he was rolled up by Mobei Jun and dragged down Anding Peak and into the northern border of the demon clan, he had just finished eating melon seeds and was dreaming with a salty taste in his mouth. In his dream, he was devouring the three pounds of hot shit that he had promised. He was awakened by being frozen.

Mobei Jun threw him to the ground, facing the knife-like wind and snow in the northern border, his outline and expression became more and more sharp.

Although he was very handsome, very handsome, Shang Qinghua was too cold to appreciate his handsomeness. If he opened his mouth to flatter him, his tongue would freeze, so he shut his mouth and shivered as he got up, wrapped in the quilt. A fortress of ice and snow rose up from the ground in front of him. Mobei Jun walked towards it, and Shang Qinghua followed closely.

The gate of the bunker made of ice bricks opened and closed with a rumble. I walked through the long stairs without seeing anyone all the way until I reached a bedroom, where I saw a few guards and maids who didn't even dare to come out.

Shang Qinghua glanced at Mo Beijun's expression. Although it was still as arrogant and indifferent as before, it was a little more solemn.

He couldn't help but ask, "Well, my king, how long are we going to stand here?"

Mo Beijun didn't move his head, but turned his eyes to him: "Seven days."

Shang Qinghua was stunned by this.

Forget it, maybe I will go back to masturbate soon. I should take advantage of these seven days to say goodbye. After all, after I go back, no one will beat me up and make me work like a slave, wash clothes, fold quilts, and serve tea and water.

After standing there for a while, he felt it getting colder and colder. The Mobei clan’s territory was indeed not a place for people to stay. Shang Qinghua kept running and jumping on the spot to avoid being frozen into an ice sculpture. Mobei-Jun looked at him, and a smile flashed in his eyes. He reached out and pinched one of his fingers, as if the coldness was absorbed from this point of connection. Shang Qinghua felt that it was not so unbearable anymore.

I just feel more and more sad about the upcoming separation. I feel more and more reluctant to leave.

Come to think of it, Mobei-Jun is actually quite nice to him except for his bad temper, poor living ability, coquettishness, and love of beating people.

The benefits are good, the salary is good. Even if beating him up is common, he is the only one who can do it, and no one else can do it. Besides, he hasn't been beaten up much recently.

Shang Qinghua was deeply worried about his seemingly distorted view of happiness in life.

What if he really went back? What if Mobei-Jun suddenly wanted to find someone to beat up, but couldn't find him anywhere? When I imagined that situation, I actually felt a bit sad, as if the song was over and the people had gone their separate ways.

Suddenly, the chill returned to him. Mo Beijun asked coldly, "Where are you going back to?"

Only then did Shang Qinghua realize that, in his sadness, he had actually spoken out his thoughts like this.

This is really sad.

Mo Beijun tightened his grip, almost breaking his index finger: "Now you say you want to leave?"

Shang Qinghua hurriedly said, “No, no, not now!”

"Not now?" Mobei Jun asked, "What did you tell me?"

Follow the king for life. He said it countless times as a slogan. But he thought no one took it seriously...

After a long silence, Mobei Jun said, "If you want to leave, leave now. No need to wait seven days."

Shang Qinghua was stunned for a moment, and said, “My king, I am really leaving. From now on, we will never see each other again.”

Mobei-Jun looked at him with eyes that looked down at ants from 90 million feet in the sky, and asked, "Why do you think I care about this?"

Even though Shang Qinghua had trained himself to be impervious to swords and guns for many years, he still flinched at his expression and words. He wanted to say more, but the development of the matter was beyond his expectations.

Mobei Jun said, "Get lost."

My body suddenly flew backwards and hit the steel-like ice wall. The severe pain only numbed my back for a moment, and then immediately spread to my internal organs.

Mobei-Jun didn't even raise his hands, and didn't even forget to glance over at him. Shang Qinghua's throat instantly filled with warm liquid that smelled of rust.

Although it was almost a daily occurrence for Mobei-Jun to beat him up, and he would often tell him to “get lost”, he should be used to it, but Shang Qinghua had never felt such strong hatred and anger before.

Like countless times before, he got up from the ground, silently wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, and silently gave a smile that no one appreciated.

After standing there for a while and wanting to speak, Mobei Jun shouted, "Get out!"

Shang Qinghua rushed out in a hurry.

To be honest, although no one would know what he was thinking, he still felt a little embarrassed.

For the thought of "Mobei Jun" and "friend" that flashed through his mind just now.

...q