Chapter 58 I'll pay for the buns, give me your phone (first order please!)
"Bai Bufan: "Voice" 60s·"
"Bai Bufan: "Voice" 60s·"
"Bai Bufan requests a voice call."
"You've hung up."
"Bai Bufan: Come on, Lin Li, turn on the microphone, turn on the microphone!!!!"
"Lin Li: "Donnie Yen's emoticon pack" (Look, he's anxious again.)"
Lin Li didn't click on these voice clips at all. He didn't need to think about what Bai Bufan was going to say. Although everyone was scolding the virtual mother on the Internet, there was no need to get close to her and get scolded.
Sixty seconds is the upper limit of WeChat, not Bai Bufan's.
Maybe there are more than just his voices. Clicking on them would be the combination of their dormitory's blood boiling.
"Bai Bufan: The rising east sun, the evening of the blue sun; the red mist seen in the rosy clouds, the campfire wall at dusk."
Bai Bufan suddenly wrote a poem for himself. The whole poem expressed the author's homesickness through the description of natural scenery.
Lin Li ignored it.
"Bai Bufan: I've had enough of your groundless framing. We are done with each other. I will bully you together with Baowei!
Listen carefully, we will hold a super cool party this weekend. All the big names in the school will be there, but guess who won't be invited? "American baseball uniform male dancing emoticon pack""
"Lin Li: No problem bro, it's just right for you to go to the party. I'm going to crack down on prostitution this weekend."
"Bai Bufan:?"
"Bai Bufan: Brother, have you found the target?"
"Lin Li: I don't understand what you are saying."
"Bai Bufan: Hey, good brother, isn't this the Dragon King Temple that was washed away by the flood? Guess what, I suddenly remembered that although I don't have hemorrhoids, I can learn. I like hemorrhoids the most!"
"Lin Li: Are you not going to continue to bully me with Baowei?"
"Bai Bufan: Brother, I'm just kidding. Bao Wei and I are just playing around. I'm really playing around with you. As long as you give the order, I will add mustard to his hemorrhoid cream and mix wind oil into his eye drops without hesitation."
"Lin Li: He is arrogant at first and respectful later. It makes people laugh when they think about it."
"Bai Bufan: He laughed! He actually laughed! Young master, you haven't laughed in ten years. Now that you can be amused by this old slave, it's worth it even if I die."
"Lin Li: Okay, I'll tell you in detail when we get to school. Don't try to collect data on other software. Don't accidentally make mistakes and get yourself into trouble. It's getting late. Go to bed first."
After taking a long detour and having a midnight snack, it was almost past twelve o'clock and he hadn't even taken a shower.
"Bai Bufan: Go to bed."
"Lin Li: Deduct 3 for goodnight, deduct 2 for resurrecting the prisoner, deduct 1 for a free pudding."
"Bai Bufan: 1111, brother, are you really giving me a free pudding?"
"Lin Li: +3"
"Bai Bufan: +3"
The chat ended there, and he yawned. Although he was not physically tired today, using his brain seriously would also make people tired. Since activating the system, Lin Li's sleep quality has been better than expected.
...
Good sleep quality does not mean that you can get up early smoothly.
If it were not for the hot weather in September this year, Lin Li's plan to get up early would only be more difficult - after all, the quilt in winter is definitely the place where the most earthbound spirits are born.
Rubbing his sleepy eyelids, Lin Li opened the curtains, but unfortunately the morning light at this time was not warm, and his body was still cold.
Looking at the sky, there were many clouds today, but the color was very bright, not dim. Lin Li looked at the weather forecast, and it did not say that it would rain.
But as we all know, the weather is as fickle as a woman, and the weather forecast is as unreliable as a man. I'd better bring an umbrella with me. If it doesn't rain, I can leave the umbrella in the classroom for use.
Lin Li looked at the clouds, and his sleepy eyes suddenly became firm. He wiped away the non-existent tears: "Lao Da, you have worked so hard, what right do I have to complain?"
In Lin Li's eyes, these clouds are not clouds at all. They are clearly the cotton that God asked Kobe to get up at four in the morning to plant.
Look at that cloud, it looks like a watermelon.
Look at that cloud, it looks like fried chicken.
Look at the airplane cloud left by the plane, if it's not God's whip, what is it?
Lao Da planted so much in less than an hour. As the heir of the Mamba spirit, how can I be weak!
...
[Get up before the Mao hour for a week to seriously practice the Eight-Stage Body Strengthening Exercise, and before the Chen hour, accumulate at least half an hour. (5/7)]
There are two days left, and this task is completed.
Today is still a very relaxing day.
"Odd-numbered chapters are about physical training, and even-numbered chapters are about magic training. Sure enough, the wizard is the right way." Lin Li stretched his body and sighed.
Although there is no specific data, Lin Li can feel that he has become much healthier in just two days.
For example, his left eye originally had a little pseudomyopia, but in the past two days, he has not seen things blurry again.
Spiritual energy is really a good thing. This is just the effect of two days. It is a must for extraordinary people. It's a pity that there is only one spirit stone left now.
How can there be no spirit stone in modern times?
Come on, clean up the pornography. After cleaning the strongholds of the three Hehuan monsters, you can give yourself five more and enjoy the happiness of Yikuntian again.
"Let's go, Grandpa Zhou." He said hello to the fixed NPC Xiao Zhou who always peeked at him.
He probably didn't steal the teacher smoothly these two days, and he looked more and more depressed when he looked at himself.
...
Classroom.
"According to unofficial history, Zhuge Liang's empty city was to stop Sima Yi's losing streak." Bai Bufan was still raging about the Three Kingdoms.
"This is the most outrageous episode of Kong Ming."
Lin Li came in to serve the food, and then said to Bai Bufan, "The mushroom buns you bought have increased by 50 cents. Now they are two yuan each. You bought two, so I paid one yuan more. But after all, we are brothers, so it's unnecessary to care about a few yuan, so now you owe me ten yuan."
Bai Bufan frowned and scratched his head, realizing that things were not simple. He always felt that something was wrong.
"No money, no money."
"No money? I'll pay for the extra buns, give me your phone." Lin Li smiled and unwrapped the breakfasts one by one and put them on the table so that others could take them, and said at the same time.
"Where did this two hundred thousand come from?" Bai Bufan cooperated very quickly.
"There's not 200,000, only 1,000, you borrowed it from Huabei."
"Wait, if it was Huabei, my credit limit would be exactly 2,000."
"That 1,000 is my handling fee."
"You know about agents." Bai Bufan raised his middle finger and took a bite of the mushroom bun. "The price inflation is really fast. It's still a small place, but the prices are catching up with those in big places."
"How can inflation not be fast?" Lin Li nodded in approval. "Does Mbappe know? Searching for French supercars doesn't bring up the car but him. He can earn tens of millions of euros a year. You know, more than a hundred years ago, his entire person was worth only a few dozen dollars at most, which is only a few dollars a year. The speed of inflation is too scary."
"I don't agree with this. More than a hundred years ago, they could get 100 draws when they landed. Maybe they could draw something valuable and turn the tide." Bai Bufan shook his head.
"You have a point."
Lin Li pinched his chin and thought for a while, then nodded.
An excellent person will admit that he doesn't think enough. There is always someone who can teach me something. In this regard, I really need to learn more from Bai Bufan.
"Lin Li, which one is mine?" Chen Yuying's voice came from behind.
"Squad leader? I was just about to give it to you when you came over. Here, this one is yours." Lin Li turned his head and saw Chen Yuying. After being a little surprised, he handed her breakfast to her.
The task was not triggered. Hey, could it be that the triggering condition is a money transaction, and I accidentally cancelled it? Will it not be triggered later?
When Lin Li was thinking about it, Chen Yuying, who took the breakfast, did not leave. She took out a handful of various candies from her school uniform pocket and put them on Lin Li's desk:
"If you don't want to take my money, then take this candy. It just so happens that you also said that studying recently made you lack sugar. I also like to eat candy. There are a lot of candies in the dormitory, and I can share a lot with you."
Lin Li blinked and asked carefully: "Class monitor, what if I am willing to take your money again?"
I did swear that I would not take a penny from the class monitor, but now I plan to take five or even ten yuan.
Chen Yuying: "?"
"Just kidding, just kidding, thank you for the candy, class monitor, I won't be polite about these." Lin Li smiled and waved his hand, and put the candy in his drawer.
Forget it, there is no need. The premise of money transaction is just my own guess, not a definite condition.
Although Chen Yuying would definitely not mind continuing to give him money after he proposed it, Lin Li felt that he was even more Bai Bufan than Bai Bufan if he really went back on his word.
Even if he wanted to test this condition, even if he found out that it was a necessary condition, he would still choose to use other methods in the future.
"Well, if there is any kind of candy that is delicious or not, you can tell me when the time comes, and I can adjust it." Chen Yuying nodded, then slightly turned her body: "Then I will go back first, and we will talk at noon?"
"Okay, let's talk at noon."
Chen Yuying left and returned to her seat.
Bai Bufan and Zhou Baowei, who had just pretended to be dead and didn't say a word or make a sound, were resurrected at this moment, and immediately locked their eyes on Lin Li.
Bai Bufan cleared his throat, showed off his orchid finger, and began to act pretentiously: "Which candy is delicious~~or not delicious~~You can tell me when the time comes~~I can adjust~~"
Zhou Baowei followed the rhythm: "Then I'll go back first~~Let's talk at noon~~"
The essence of human beings is a repeater, and the essence of anthropomorphic animals is a weird version of a repeater.
Lin Li, who didn't have a system before, would be a little shy, but now Lin Li can face the teasing eyes of the two people calmly, and even have time to give a middle finger back.
When he found a thief, Lin Li immediately slapped Bai Bufan's hand that was reaching for his drawer.
"This doesn't matter to brothers. The monitor means to send it to you every day. You don't have to treat it as a treasure and not let me touch it, right? I'll just eat one!" Bai Bufan was indignant.
Facing Bai Bufan's resentful gaze, Lin Li shook his head, his tone simple and sincere: "It's not that I don't give it to you, but dogs really can't eat chocolate. Come on, be good, eat this fructose, you can eat this."
Lin Li put a piece of fruity hard candy on Bai Bufan's palm, with a pure smile.
Bai Bufan: "?"
He stared at the fructose in his hand for a while, his brain was fighting wildly, and he had been thinking about swearing for a long time. Finally, he said sullenly: "Fuck you, thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Fuck."
After Bai Bufan said this word again, he turned back and continued to eat his mushroom bun.
An excellent person will admit his shortcomings in disgusting people. There must be a teacher among three people. In this regard, he really needs to learn more from Lin Li.
"Turtle, what's going on?" Zhou Baowei, who was standing aside, was puzzled. "Last semester, Lin Li, you helped the monitor bring breakfast a few times, right? You two were still 'strangers', but how come you've progressed so fast this semester and become so close?
The monitor is also confused. He likes you? I don't understand. Why doesn't he like me? I'm so handsome."
Zhou Baowei sighed deeply, his tone was full of hatred.
Lin Li and Bai Bufan looked at Zhou Baowei at the same time.
Some things are intolerable.
"You go first or me?" Bai Bufan asked without looking back.
"You go first." Lin Li replied. The masters always have to come out last.
"OK, Baowei, I agree that the monitor is blind, but who gave you the courage to say 'why don't I like you'?
There is no mirror in the dormitory, but we have urine. You look like a QR code. You don't know what it is without scanning it. Why are you so confident to say handsome?"
Bai Bufan nodded at Lin Li, indicating that Lin Li could speak.
Lin Li's words were simple. He looked at Zhou Baowei and said concisely, "The doctor took a long time to draw your blood, and found that it was lard."
Bai Bufan patted his thigh in regret when he heard it.
There is no doubt that he lost in this round of humiliating Zhou Baowei.
"Lin Li, tell me, if I just scolded 'Baowei, do you usually snatch feed from other brothers in the circle?', would it be more aggressive?" He turned his head and asked without shame.
"It's okay, this is better than the QR code just now." Lin Li nodded after thinking.
"What if it is a variation..."
Looking at the two people who have begun to seriously analyze how to humiliate him in the most aggressive way, Zhou Baowei was silent.
What they said was so hurtful.
I'm going to make a scene.
Then I'll ask you.
In fact, Zhou Baowei was not fat to this extent. He could even be called strong. His BMI was just a little bit above the normal range. It was a pity that he made friends carelessly. He had a very good relationship with Lin Li and Bai Bufan. His shortcomings could only be infinitely magnified. His life was over.
"Hey, yeah, brothers, can you interrupt for a moment?" Zhou Baowei raised his hand to ask the beastly couple to stop their research. Then he analyzed seriously, "I think sometimes brothers can also encourage each other. After all, I have low self-esteem. I suggest you praise me more."
Facing Zhou Baowei's sincere eyes, Lin Li smiled:
"Baowei, if you want to be praised, wear a wig, put on lipstick, and post on Xiaohongshu, and there will be girls praising you immediately.
Wow, sister, you have a good foundation, don't listen to what others say, how can you be fat, you are just a little fat now, and you will be stunning if you dress up a little."
Bai Bufan also laughed:
"Baowei, Lin Li and I came from Tieba, you should understand that when we see someone like you, we can only say something like a real fat pig."
Xiaohongshu is like this. A few years ago, there were basically few men using Xiaohongshu. Under the posts of photos that Lin Li thought were beautiful, the comments were a bit disgusting, and sometimes the malice was even greater than that of the men below.
Remember one of the Tieba Bibles:
When an ugly pig comments on another ugly pig, it will not hesitate to praise it, because it knows that even if it is praised to a great extent, it is still a pig in essence, and it is the same kind as it, and praising it is also praising itself in disguise.
When an ugly pig comments on a beautiful pig, the ugly pig will emphasize the shortcomings of the beautiful pig, and at the same time secretly take the beautiful pig as a goal in his heart, and aspire to become a beautiful pig one day.
But when a pig comments on a peacock, it knows that it and the peacock do not even belong to the same species, and it will never become a peacock, so it will speak fiercely and hysterically, and always hope that the peacock will be unlucky.
At this moment.
The old brothers Lin Li and Bai Bufan in the forum looked at each other sincerely.
Zhou Baowei had nothing to live for.
"I'm broken, I'm angry, I'm going to COS a 1.8-meter-tall sunny doll in front of your house."
Bai Bufan: "You are not 1.8 meters tall, you are not even as tall as me."
Zhou Baowei was stunned for a moment, and started to shout: "Fuck!!! You two are even more beasts in terms of height, I will never be friends with you again!"
As for why Zhou Baowei insulted like this.
As the last row, the brothers are naturally not short in height.
Bai Bufan is 181cm tall at the age of 15, but he always claims to be only 178cm tall. Lin Li once asked him why, and he said that this would embarrass those who said they were 180cm tall.
Hearing this reason, Lin Li was amazed.
A genius.
From then on, Lin Li, who lives and learns, always claims to be only 183cm tall.
Please vote for me.
(End of this chapter)
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