Chapter 283 From now on, Bai Bufan is no longer Bai Bufan
"Lin Li, you are sick! Do you want to die?" Ding Sihan held the cake in his hand, aimed at Lin Li's face, and said in a bad tone.
"It's over, uncle, the one who came in is still a murderer... I will leave all my inheritance to my mother, goodbye forever." Lin Li's voice was sad.
Chen Yuying, Ding Sihan, Qu Wanqiu: "?"
Seeing that the cake was really about to fly to his face, Lin Li smiled and took back the phone that had not been connected at all, stopped, looked up at the door, and raised his hands to please:
"Don't throw it, don't throw it, don't throw it, it's just a joke, I didn't really hit it."
Seeing that this guy was acting, and even acted twice, Chen Yuying used the firework tube in her hand to knock Lin Li through the air.
Lin Li said slightly.
"Okay, come in first, it's not a big deal to stand outside, don't be polite, just treat it as your own home."
Ding Sihan then lowered the cake he was aiming at a little, then turned and walked towards the living room, and at the same time turned back to signal Lin Li to follow in.
Lin Li: "..."
No?
What did you just say?
What does it mean to treat it like your own home?
"Sorry to bother you," the guest Lin Li walked in awkwardly. He was a little overwhelmed standing on the insole because of his timidity. Finally, he asked Ding Sihan in a low voice:
"Student Ding, can I put my shoes here when I take them off?"
"Yes, but remember not to put them in the area other than the mat. I will be angry if you dirty the tiles." Qu Wanqiu nodded on his behalf, "And these slippers, you can wear them if you want, but you are not allowed to take off your socks."
"Fuck!"
"You two really treat it as your own home, right! Who was born into such a ditch to make you like this? When I first met you, you were still decent people."
Lin Li scolded with a smile.
It's also the law of nature, and no one can escape it.
So in Baowei's eyes, I was born like this during the sports meeting. Sorry, Baowei, I won't let you enter the dormitory next time, so you can turn a blind eye to it.
Lin Li changed into his own slippers. Before asking about the cause and effect, he looked around curiously, looking for Bai Bufan's figure.
He didn't find it.
"What about Bufan? Didn't he come?" Lin Li asked.
"Oh, he was supposed to come, but he couldn't come because he had a stomachache. What a pity." Qu Wanqiu replied regretfully, "He obviously put a lot of thought into it. Alas."
Lin Li, who was about to nod, stopped.
No, no, no.
If I remember correctly, the door of my room was completely open when I left in the morning, but now it is ajar, with only a gap left.
It's hard for me to remember it wrong now.
Moreover, based on the fact that he wanted to give himself a surprise, Bai Bufan's behavior of insisting on going back to the dormitory to use the toilet not long ago was a little untenable.
"Class monitor, he really didn't come?" Lin Li pointed at his room door and asked Chen Yuying, lowering his voice: "... Not there?"
"Well, he didn't come."
Being stared at by Lin Li, Chen Yuying nodded in response, but gradually looked away.
His lying skills were too bad. Ding Sihan and Qu Wanqiu, who were already sitting on the sofa, covered their faces helplessly.
What if Chen Zhongdeng finds out what he wants to do next time?
"Is that so? Forget it! I'm not coming, so what? Wait a minute, my phone is out of battery, I'll go to the room to get the charger first."
After getting the answer, Lin Li said loudly to the three people, and then walked to his room.
He didn't intend to harm Bai Bufan. At this moment, even if it was fake, he had to be "surprised" again.
Lin Li pushed open the door of the room.
"Happy birthday, bastard-ah!!!"
Bai Bufan's blessing was not finished, and it turned into a painful scream.
But the murderer was not Lin Li.
Not only was it not Lin Li, Lin Li's smile was completely distorted, and gradually he could not support himself to stand, so he gradually fell to the ground and slapped the sofa next to him, laughing until he convulsed.
"You, you, you--"
Lin Li pointed to the door of the room, laughing so hard that he couldn't say a second word.
When Chen Yuying and the other two saw this scene with a puzzled look on their faces, they came over and found that Bai Bufan was already lying on the ground full of ribbons in the room, and seemed to be twitching, but he seemed to be twitching in pain.
Not a buddy?
"What happened?" Ding Sihan, who only heard the sound, expressed the thoughts of the three people with a puzzled look.
"He, he, hahaha, he——"
Lin Li really laughed until tears came out, and described the scene just now to the three people with great difficulty:
"Didn't he also have a firework tube in his hand? This idiot, this idiot, damn it, this idiot held it upside down! Just now, he was saying happy birthday while turning the firework tube, and it all sprayed out——"
Because of the large amount of laughter, Lin Li's description was bumpy and he didn't finish it in the end.
But the three people understood it.
Especially Chen Yuying, who just used a firework tube.
As we all know, when using a firework tube, it is tilted at a 45-degree angle towards the sky, but, if it is used upside down——
Everyone, Bai Bufan is covering his crotch now.
The sequins on the ground are quite pitiful, because they have been sexually harassed by Bai Bufan since birth.
Bai Bufan, a strong offender, bad!
No, you can't call him Bai Bufan.
Bai Buji, a strong offender, bad.
Therefore, when the three understood all this, they all fell on the sofa, and pleasant laughter filled the room.
"You guys have no empathy..."
People's joys and sorrows are not the same. Bai Bufan groaned in pain, and it was even more painful to listen to the harsh laughter.
"Three people" didn't have this thing in the first place, and couldn't understand this about me. Bai Bufan could understand.
But what about you, Lin Li?
I was still celebrating your birthday!
It was a fucking work injury!
"Bai Buji, are you okay?" Lin Li couldn't stand the look in his eyes, so he asked with a smile.
Bai Bufan: "?"
"Bai Buji, who the hell told you to take this away from me! It's still there! It's still there!!" Bai Bufan was stunned when he heard his new name, and roared after he reacted.
The laughter that was about to subside immediately returned to its peak.
"Lin Li, is it funny! Look in my eyes! Answer me! Is it funny?" The "three people" are not responsible, but this "one" is really damnable, Bai Bufan asked with difficulty but anger.
"It's not funny, I only saw a desperate girl." Lin Li was scolded and immediately put away his smile, and said heavily and sadly.
"Fuck!!"
However, the air pressure of the fireworks is not that high, although it is a bit of a chicken and egg, it is not to the point of breaking the chicken and the egg.
After a while, Bai Bufan sat on the ground, shook his head, and sighed sadly: "Although it's not broken, it feels like one is broken."
"It's okay, baby, then you will become a sweet and soft little single testicle, right?" Lin Li comforted.
Bai Bufan: "(；☉_☉)?"
"Then, I, thank, you, ah." Bai Bufan gritted his teeth and thanked.
Lin Li shook his head imperceptibly, but it was too early to thank him.
Because although he can be praised as a small single testicle, losing an egg also means losing a lot of artistic cells.
After all, men with more eggs understand art better, because they are multiplying testicles.
The reason why Xi'er didn't get into the art college was because Xi'er only had one egg.
Therefore, Bai Bufan might trigger the third war.
So... Lin Li now wants to kill Bai Bufan in order to avoid the third war, which is understandable, right?
"Why do you look more fierce than me?" Bai Bufan was stunned.
"Oh, sorry for getting into the role. Okay, come out first." Looking at Bai Bufan's face, Lin Li wanted to laugh again.
After a while, Bai Bufan stood up and walked out.
"It's okay."
Looking back, seeing that Lin Li's eyes were still looking at the room, Bai Bufan probably guessed what Lin Li was thinking, so he patted Lin Li on the shoulder:
"Don't worry, the three of them insisted on talking about privacy and refused to enter your room, so I was the only one who went in.
So, the three inflatable dolls, ten masturbators, seventeen bottles of lubricant, and thirty-nine pornographic magazines under your bed were all seen by me, and they didn't see them, don't worry."
The three figures on the sofa behind him looked over when they heard the words.
Lin Li: "..."
Damn, it's a boomerang again.
Bai Bufan is such a vengeful guy.
But there is nothing shameful in Lin Li's room.
Considering that Wu Min may come home at any time, Lin Li usually handles things related to the system.
Including the protective clothing returned from the doomsday, they will be cleaned first.
Otherwise, after opening the door and seeing them appear at home, he would have panicked and would not be so comfortable.
"Spiritual spring", "Spirit stone" and doomsday firearms, etc., all of these will be locked in the cabinet.
The gold under the bed is also placed in a box. The only thing that has not been hidden is that I brought it back early this morning. Because it is too large, it cannot be placed in the drawer or under the bed, so I can only put the super large gold on the table directly.
I originally planned to buy tools to cut it myself and store it separately, but I didn't have time to deal with it.
Since Bai Bufan had been in his room, he should have seen it, but he didn't show any strange reaction now.
After all, who would have thought that this pile of yellow stones placed casually was really gold.
"If there is no inflatable doll under my bed, you will stay here tonight and be my inflatable doll, Bai Bufan." Lin Li put his arm around Bai Bufan's shoulders and prepared to prove himself.
"Haha, forget it."
So the five of them sat in the living room, and the cake on the coffee table had candles flickering on it.
Lin Li sat cross-legged on the sofa, looking at the "three people" on the sofa on the side and the "dog" beside him, and asked curiously: "Tell me, what's going on?"
"Surprise." Chen Yuying's eyebrows and eyes were moving.
"It's really a surprise. Don't think that I don't show it obviously. In fact, I am very happy now." Lin Li smiled and nodded, "touched."
"How happy?" Chen Yuying heard the words and asked with some pride and expectation in her voice.
Lin Li thought for a moment, then smiled and said:
"Like the first sip of iced cola in summer;"
"Like a doctor performing heart surgery;"
"Like the last day of summer vacation, after staying up late to finish all the homework and getting ready to go to bed, I flipped through the notice sent by the head teacher and found that I had read it wrong, and the summer vacation was still a whole week away."
"Maybe, that's how happy I am."
Although there were some strange things mixed in, everyone also got concrete happiness from Lin Li's description.
"So how did you do it? The key to my door... was given to you by my mother?" Lin Li's curiosity has not been answered.
There is no property management in Lin Li's old community, and the keys are kept by himself.
And Lin Li took out a total of three keys from home, one of which he always carried with him, one was always kept at school, and the other was placed under the stone in the corner of the water and electricity meter box at the door.
But he didn't even tell Wu Min about these, so the four of them should not have come in that way.
That can only be the key given by Wu Min.
"Yes, Auntie sent it to us before." Chen Yuying took out a key from the pocket of her school pants, shook it proudly in front of Lin Li, and then put it on the table: "Remember to return it to Auntie."
"It turns out that there is a traitor in our family. No wonder you sneaked in. Damn, it's hard to prevent thieves in the house." Lin Li sighed.
It also understood why Wu Min insisted on letting him clean up the house during her usual weekend call yesterday.
The reason at that time was that it was the cleaning cycle, but she couldn't come back, so she asked him to clean.
She emphasized it in the early morning this morning.
Now it seems that it is obviously to avoid a mess at home and leave a bad impression on the four people who are about to arrive.
"You just said a week ago? You prepared for so long?" But then Lin Li found another key point.
"Hmph," Qu Wanqiu looked a little proud, and then deliberately imitated Lin Li in a rough voice:
"Bro, everyone, I just set up a great four-person group chat. All the big names in this group will be there, but hey, guess who didn't get invited?"
"Lin Li, when you mocked me before, did you forget what I told you?"
Lin Li has a good memory now. This was his speech in the group chat to 'isolate Qu Wanqiu', and at that time:
"Qu Wanqiu: We set up a four-person group without you during the National Day, hehe."
"Ding Sihan: Don't say it @Qu Wanqiu."
Then he questioned the three people who came whether they really set up a group, but no one paid attention to him.
So -
"You set up a group without me during the National Day?" Lin Li came to a conclusion.
"You're not stupid." Qu Wanqiu nodded. "When you said it was your birthday when we went out for National Day, we started to prepare."
"First of all, thank you for your preparation. Secondly, I'm wrong. I'm stupid. I was called a fool several times today." Lin Li shook his head when he heard Qu Wanqiu's praise.
"Who? I'll help you scold back."
Chen Yuying glared at Lin Li, clenched her hand on her lap into a fist, and raised it slightly towards Lin Li.
Don't continue talking.
"It's okay. The other party is also a fool in my eyes. You don't need to help me scold." Lin Li smiled and changed the subject, and then confirmed: "This can only be prepared by you today. Was it at noon? Or in the afternoon?"
"At noon, Sihan, Wanqiu and Bai Bufan gave up their lunch break to decorate the scene." Chen Yuying, who was called a fool, snorted softly, and then explained.
"So why didn't you come to decorate, squad leader? The three of them are good, and you are bad." Lin Li commented sharply.
"If I don't come, you will find out." Chen Yuying frowned and said with a pout.
That makes sense.
Don't underestimate the bond of the lunch trio.
If the monitor didn't come at noon, Lin Li and Wang Yuezhi would definitely find a chance to ask.
If Lin Li didn't come at noon, Chen Yuying would definitely find a chance to ask.
If Wang Yuezhi didn't come at noon, then he definitely didn't come.
Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan.
It turned out that the so-called lunch caught by Binbin was purely a lie to himself.
"No wonder you always ask me if I'm going to the cafeteria to eat at noon and in the afternoon. It turns out that you are worried that I will go home to eat. Then Wang Ze asked me questions, was it you who instructed me?" Lin Li asked.
"That's right, you can't get home before us, wouldn't it be all in vain? So I asked him to help us delay you for five minutes." Bai Bufan nodded with a master of strategy:
"My so-called diarrhea is also a superb performance, otherwise I'm afraid you will see me rushing out to meet them at the school gate, and you will find out or notice the clues." The case
was solved, no wonder Wang Ze asked extension questions right away.
This guy really doesn't really want to study.
"Did you take a taxi here? How did you get out of the school? Will this leave be approved?" Lin Li was left with only the last bit of confusion.
"Teacher Xue sent us here." Chen Yuying lowered her eyes and smiled softly, with a hint of pride in her eyes reflecting the candlelight.
Lin Li stood at attention and looked around vigilantly.
Then he looked behind the sofa and confirmed that Xue Jian was not here.
"Don't worry, Lao Jiantou didn't come up. After the class monitor told him about our plan, he agreed to agree, but said that in order to ensure safety and control, he must come to pick us up.
Just now we asked him to come up, but he said that he would be uncomfortable if he was here, so he didn't come up.
Lao Jiantou is now waiting for us to finish at the gate of the community, and he will also take us back to school later."
Bai Bufan saw through Lin Li's thoughts at a glance, so he explained.
"Lao Jiantou is the best class teacher in the world. I will never cause trouble for him again today." Lin Li was a little moved.
"Only today? Then you are a very considerate student today." Bai Bufan gave a thumbs up when he heard it.
"But, Niu, you guys have worked so hard. I'm touched, really touched." The whole picture of the matter has been completely revealed, and Lin Li shook his head and sighed.
He turned his head and patted Bai Bufan on the shoulder:
"Especially embarrassing you, actually staying alone with these two guys for the whole afternoon."
You know, Bai Bufan is not good at getting along with girls of the same age and familiar with him.
Lin Li believes that the reason why he stayed alone in his room for the second surprise, in addition to the main factor that he is a bit mean, is also related to his discomfort with staying in the living room with girls.
This is - buddy!
"A general's success is the result of the sacrifice of thousands of people." Bai Bufan nodded, and waved his hand with deep concealment of merit and fame.
Ding Sihan, Qu Wanqiu: "?"
"Bai Bufan, you dare to nod, come, let me touch your dog head!" Ding Sihan stood up and pretended to get closer.
"Don't come over!" And Ha Jifan responded on the spot, rolling and crawling to the other side of Lin Li away from them, keeping alert.
"Okay, okay, don't forget the main purpose. We are here to celebrate Lin Li's birthday. We have limited time, and Teacher Xue is still waiting for us."
Chen Yuying stood up, clasped her hands, and said with a smile.
"Yes, then Lin Li, it's time to start the process, blow out the candles and make a wish!" Ding Sihan immediately followed and walked a few steps to the switch in the living room to turn off the lights, so that the living room was left with only the dim light of the candles on the coffee table.
Chen Yuying also put a birthday crown folded out of cardboard on Lin Li's head.
Qu Wanqiu brought the cake over and handed it to Lin Li: "Lin Li, think about your wish first."
Bai Bufan immediately stood up and went to the kitchen of Lin Li's house and took out another thing from the refrigerator.
Lin Li, who had just reached out to take the cake, saw Bai Bufan's actions and the other... cake in his hand?
So he asked with a bit of doubt: "Bufan, what are you holding?"
"Cake."
"Yeah, I can see that, but why buy two? This one in my hand is already big, right?"
Lin Li lowered his head. The cake in his hand was at least eight inches, if not ten inches. Everyone was not very hungry, and there were three girls, so they might not be able to finish this one.
"The one in your hand has cake base inside, while the one in my hand is pure cream, without any cake at all."
Bai Bufan opened the lid of the cake and explained while showing it to Lin Li.
"But there is a lot of cream in this cake," Lin Li lowered his head to look at the cake in his hand, and looked up with more doubts:
"Why do you want to buy another one? Even if you girls don't mind that this will affect your figure, you will get sick of it if you eat too much, right?"
This is already a lethal amount of cream. Even if Zhou Baowei... um, he might be able to finish it without feeling sick.
But the people present will definitely get sick of it if they eat too much.
"Don't worry," Bai Bufan had already taken out the cake knife and plate, and started to divide the pure cream cake. At the same time, he smiled brightly, telling Lin Li not to worry: "Who told you that this cake is for eating?"
Lin Li was stunned for a moment, then fell silent and blinked.
What is the cream cake for if it is not for eating?
Eh?
Buhao!
(End of this chapter)
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