Chapter 443 My Poetry Inspiration [Seeking Monthly Tickets]
Honey, if you see a pair of panties floating in a septic tank,
Please don't panic, those are not the remains of someone who stole the red stone and drowned.
But it's a love letter I wrote for you.
The admission ticket is our bondage.
I can't let it sink into the center of the vortex -
"So when the sphincter rebels against gravity"
"I would rather surrender to it with dignity"
My dear, don't be sad.
The bulge in my vacuum pants,
Not only my huge bull, but also my brave love for you!
——"On the afternoon of December 22nd, Bi Feixiang was at a loss for answers to the remaining questions in the Xuezhi Cup preliminary examination. Plus, his butt was itching. Although he looked optimistic on the surface, he was actually completely out of ideas and felt very desperate."
Bi Feixiang suggested that this masterpiece of his be included in the compulsory modern poetry catalog for modern primary and secondary school students.
I feel that if a boy could recite a poem like this to express his feelings when confessing his love, it would be so exciting and the success rate would definitely increase.
——By the way, you are not allowed to chant without a huge bull. This is the core equipment.
…
While Bi Feixiang was desperately writing poetry, Lin Li had already finished the test paper and checked it several times.
Lin Li didn't know what happened to Bi Feixiang after he left, but he didn't care.
I have already saved his underwear and pants once, so I have done my best. I can't just keep doing a favor and then retaliate.
After checking again, Lin Li glanced at his watch.
The rules for the Xuezhi Cup preliminary round are the same as those for Nansang Middle School exams on ordinary days. The earliest you can submit your paper is half an hour in advance, but the time has not yet come.
There was no point in checking again, so Lin Li looked around and observed the various beings.
Most people were still scratching their heads, but a small number of them were calm and writing furiously. However, Lin Li was the only one in the entire examination room who had finished writing like this.
Raising his eyebrows, Lin Li noticed a girl who was holding a pen in both hands, with her eyes closed and her lips moving constantly, as if she was whispering something.
What are you mumbling about?
[Ear supernatural power], open.
"Pen Fairy, Pen Fairy, you are my past life, and I am your present life. If you want to continue your relationship with me, please tell me what the minimum value of x+y is if the real numbers x and y satisfy x+xy+y=3..."
Lin Li: “?”
When his [Ear Divine Power] was activated and he could clearly hear what the girl was whispering, Lin Li pinched his cheeks with both hands, put his knuckles against his nose, and put on a stern face.
Stern-faced, but not completely straight-faced.
At Nansang Middle School, you can even see candidates trying to solve questions by playing with the Ouija board in the examination room.
To be honest, even if the Pen Fairy was present, after hearing the girl's request, he would probably choose to give up his obsession and leave with the Black and White Impermanence on the spot.
A ghost from the terrifying night turned into a god of the wishing well in this girl's hands. It was a great humiliation for it.
Lin Li took a look at the girls' school uniforms.
From Xiling No. 9 Middle School.
That’s great, you’re from Xiling. Good job, kid, you didn’t bring shame to Xiling!
In this case, as fellow Xiling people, we can help when it is necessary.
The girl had her eyes closed. Lin Li materialized an "invisible sword" and, while no one was paying attention in the examination room, made it fly up and possess the pen in the girl's hand. He then manipulated the pen and wrote the answer "2" crookedly on it.
"Fuck?"
When the girl opened her eyes, she was stunned to see that there was actually an answer on the draft paper.
Really?
The next second, she closed her eyes again:
"Pen Fairy, Pen Fairy, I can actually guess the answer. Just substitute the special value 1. What I need is the proof process. There is only the answer, no points..."
The Pen Fairy himself shook his head when he heard this.
That's too much.
Even if the proof of this question is written in a concise manner, it will take more than ten lines, which is a bit weird when it is actually written out.
But there was no way he would not respond, so Lin Li had an idea.
Feeling the pen in her hand stop shaking, the girl opened her eyes again.
The Pen Fairy did respond again—this time with a crooked "B".
But this is not a multiple-choice question.
“…”
Wait, the girl realized something was wrong: next to this "B", there was the "2" that she had just written.
The girl realized it later: "What the hell? Is the Pen Fairy scolding me?"
…
The system did not trigger the task, and Lin Li stopped playing the role of the Pen Fairy. Instead, he quietly waited for the time to hand in the paper early.
When the time was up, Lin Li immediately stood up, handed in his paper, and left in style.
The pressure on the remaining candidates in the classroom was immediately increased to the maximum.
Dinner had already been arranged with Chen Tianming and Bai Bufan, but Chen Tianming couldn't hand in his paper early, and there was no point in waiting in the teaching building for half an hour, so Lin Li went to the dormitory first to meet Bai Bufan.
"Knock knock knock." After arriving at the door of Class 4 dormitory, Lin Li knocked on the door.
"The one selling eggs?" Bai Bufan asked.
"Selling fried dough sticks."
"Coming." A few seconds later, Bai Bufan opened the door.
Bai Bufan did not open the door and walk towards his bed, but stood there motionless.
After Lin Li walked a few steps in, Bai Bufan sneered at his back, then suddenly turned hostile and slammed the door shut.
"Finally I can close the door and let myself go, Lin! Li!" Bai Bufan grinned, leaning his back against the main door, blocking Lin Li's only way of escape. While speaking, he moved his muscles and neck, and his joints crackled.
"What's wrong?" Lin Li turned around and asked in surprise.
"Ha! You still have the nerve to ask me what's wrong?" Bai Bufan laughed angrily, gnashing his teeth as he looked at Lin Li, "I still have something to ask you! Lin Li, I want an explanation!"
"What's the explanation?"
Bai Bufan didn't say much. He swiped his phone a few times and then threw it over.
Lin Li reached out and caught it.
The screen of the phone that was thrown to me was not locked and was currently stuck on a chat interface with a QQ friend.
The two parties chatting were Bai Bufan and a friend named Lan Tian. At this moment, the chat history had been pulled to the top and could be viewed directly.
"Lan Tian: Bufan, are you there?"
"Bai Bufan: Lao Meng? Why are you looking for me all of a sudden? Of course I'm here! As long as you look for me! I'm always here! Okay, if you have money, lend me two hundred. I don't have money to buy skins lately."
"Lan Tian: You're f*cking preemptive, aren't you? But I'm not asking you for money, so there's no need to react."
"Bai Bufan: Well, why didn't you tell me earlier? What's that?"
"Lan Tian: I remember you were admitted to Nansang, right?"
"Bai Bufan: Yes, what's wrong?"
"Lan Tian: Are you still in school today?"
"Bai Bufan: Yes."
"Lan Tian: Wow! I really want to eat you!"
"Lan Tian: Bufan, why are you doing this? I'm dying of laughter. You weren't this perverted before, were you? How come you have a habit of helping people pee now?"
"Lan Tian: You know, after my friend told me this, we also specifically asked other students at Nan Sang, and they said that Nan Sang's motto is not like this, and the school has never asked them to do this. Haha, your lie is untenable!"
"Bai Bufan:..."
"Lan Tian: What, are you embarrassed to 'smirk' now?"
"Bai Bufan: Lao Meng, I've been in the dorm all day, including right now while we're chatting. I have no idea what you're talking about when you say 'smile.'"
"Lan Tian: Huh?"
"Bai Bufan: First, tell me, what exactly is this "smile" of Bai Bufan in the groove?"
"Lan Tian: It's just that a classmate of mine who went to your school to participate in a competition just complained in the group chat about meeting a genius at your school and taking him to the bathroom... Never mind, I'll just send you the chat log."
「Blue Sky: Chat History」」
In the chat log, a victim who did not want to reveal his name tearfully complained about the entire experience of being abused at Nansang Middle School, as well as the laughter of other group members.
"Lan Tian: That genius introduced himself to my classmate, and he also remembered his name. When he said Bai Bufan, I was stunned, and then I definitely thought of you. It's not common to have the surname Bai, let alone someone with the same name, so I came to confirm it."
"Bai Bufan:..."
"Bai Bufan: Isn't that divine being very tall and handsome?" he said with a smile.
"Lan Tian: To confirm it was you, I even asked specifically. He's quite tall, at least 1.80 meters, with medium hair. He was wearing a mask, so I couldn't see his face clearly. I think he looks like you."
"Bai Bufan:..."
"Bai Bufan: I don't even need to ask this question."
"Bai Bufan: Lao Meng, I can only say that there's a bastard wearing my name. Tell your friends that it's not me."
"Bai Bufan withdrew a message."
"Bai Bufan withdrew a message."
"Bai Bufan: Nansang Middle School does have a prodigy, but his name is Zhou Baowei. Every wrong has its perpetrator, and every debt has its creditor. If you want to seek revenge in the future, go to him, not me. It has nothing to do with me."
"Lan Tian: OK OK, OK, I got it. I'll go tell them."
This is the end of the chat history.
Lin Li blinked.
People in mythology hung gods on stone walls, and people in 33 AD hung gods on crosses. Why do people today choose to hang gods online?
You really don't respect the privacy of divine beings at all.
"Have you finished reading it? Ha, Lin Li, don't you have anything to say?" Seeing Lin Li looking up at him at this time, Bai Bufan sneered.
Lin Li thought for a moment, then looked at Bai Bufan:
"Bufan, did the two messages you retract contain anything like 'This b's real name is Lin Li' or something similar? Did you retract them specifically because you were considering using the chat logs to question me?"
In order to make up for it, he even deliberately posted a Baowei-related message as a shield.”
"No, it's more than that. Besides that, you also deleted a lot of chat history with your classmates, which probably included slander and rumors about me."
Bai Bufan: "(゜▽゜)?"
Bai Bufan's expression changed again and again, and then he began to look around angrily:
"Damn it! I knew you had more than one surveillance camera installed! Luckily, I defeated the pervert in my heart this afternoon! I didn't act like a room-temperature superconductor in the dorm! Otherwise, I would have fallen into your trap!
I understand now. The ancients invented the twelve zodiac animals just to prove that all people are animals! ! Damn it!
Looking at Bai Bufan rummaging through boxes and cabinets, Lin Li smiled and said, "There's no surveillance, but you made a mistake in deleting it."
"Where?" Bai Bufan stopped what he was doing, looked up at Lin Li, and frowned slightly.
“Time, it took 37 minutes for you to send the message “Baowei”, but it took 46 minutes for Lan Tian to reply “OK” to you.
You mean, you two used to reply to messages instantly, but suddenly he took nine minutes to reply to this message, and you didn't react at all and just accepted it, right? "
Lin Li raised his non-existent eyes and sneered.
I really can't even make a false certificate.
The only decision that Bai Bufan could consider smart was probably choosing Bao Wei as a shield.
Baowei is large in size and can cover a large area, making him the most suitable candidate for a shield, and Lin Li agrees with this.
Bai Bufan was silent.
I took Lin Li’s phone back and checked it myself, and it was true.
However, the mobile chat interface does not normally display the message time, so who would pay special attention to this?
Lin Li is so thin.
Bai Bufan sighed: "It's over, squad leader will live under your control for the rest of his life."
"Don't talk about anything else. Do you know you are wrong?" Lin Li pressed on aggressively.
"Okay, you're awesome, I admit it." Bai Bufan curled his lips and admitted it.
"That's right. Okay, I'll forgive you this time." It's a great virtue to admit one's mistakes and correct them. Lin Li nodded with satisfaction.
"Thank you." Bai Bufan didn't expect Lin Li to be so easy to talk to this time, and said happily.
“…”
“…”
Bai Bufan: "(；☉_☉)?"
Wait a minute, you apologize to the collective?
Bai Bufan was unhappy.
"Wait! Lin Li! Damn you! It's you who's been acting like a beast outside using my name again! You should apologize to me!" He suddenly grabbed Lin Li's collar and rolled around, roaring ferociously.
"Tsk..." Lin Li curled his lips, he actually failed to fool people.
"What's that expression?! What are you upset about?!"
"This camera is for you." Lin Li, who was being tossed around by Bai Bufan, pointed at the camera on the desk in the dormitory and said lightly.
Bai Bufan stopped what he was doing, blinked, and stopped talking.
"Brother, I'll take care of your breakfast next week, and it's a deluxe budget." It seemed that one word was not enough, so Lin Li said it again.
"Brother, since you already call me brother, what else can I say? I'll give you the name Bai Bufan!"
Triggering the underlying code, Bai Bufan waved his hand and transformed into a man of temperament.
He reached out his hand out of loyalty and helped Lin Li straighten his loose collar.
"Look, you're in a bad mood again." Lin Li pointed at him with a smile.
Bufan is still easy to coax.
"So what did you do today?" Bai Bufan couldn't help but ask curiously. What was said in the chat history was still too one-sided and definitely incomplete.
What's more, the perspective of the abuser is absolutely the most unique.
"Actually, I did some good things using your name, and really helped students from other schools..." Lin Li didn't hide anything this time and told everything he could say at noon.
After hearing Lin Li's so-called "good things", Bai Bufan's expression was still a little complicated.
This name was given carelessly.
I have a feeling that if things continue like this, the world will be filled with legends about me—even if I haven’t even entered the world yet!
"Let's go to the teaching building and wait for dawn. Then we can have noodles at the door for dinner."
Lin Li checked the time on his phone. Turning in early only meant turning in half an hour early, and going back and forth would take time, so it would be almost time to finish by the time he got there.
"Okay." Bai Bufan nodded, took out his shoes from under Baowei's bed, put them on, and followed Lin Li away.
Weighing the portable camera in his hand, Bai Bufan threw it to Lin Li: "I'll give it back to you."
Bai Bufan felt at ease eating Lin Li's breakfast for a week, but he had no intention of accepting the camera worth about a thousand yuan.
"I said I'd give it to you, and I still have a few more. Stop dithering like a woman." Lin Li threw it back and said with disdain:
"The only requirement is that you send me a copy of the secretly filmed footage of the women's restroom, and if you get caught, don't give me away."
"Don't assume that I'm using the camera for this!" Bai Bufan scolded with a smile, and seeing that Lin Li really didn't care, he naturally put the camera in his pocket.
Okay, now I feel at peace.
"When will you give me the charging cable?" Bai Bufan asked for the accessory naturally.
Lin Li: "1,600 per stick, WeChat or Alipay?"
Bai Bufan: “?”
…
After arriving at the teaching building, the two played with their mobile phones for a few minutes at the meeting place agreed upon at noon on the first floor. The bell for the end of the exam echoed throughout the campus.
Within two minutes, probably because the invigilator had collected the test papers, a large number of candidates walked out of the examination room and headed downstairs.
"Wow! Do you know what extreme sports are?"
When Chen Tianming appeared in the crowded crowd at the stairs, he saw Lin Bai and the other man, who were quite eye-catching because of their height, and immediately asked excitedly.
Bai Bufan raised his eyebrows and repeated the Ozaki Eight Items he had defined before with a smile:
"The tempering of fire, the feast of the village, the gifts of relatives, the packing of food, the remarriage of the wife, the change of the surname of the child, the two meters of grass, the quilt of the tomb?"
"Wrong," Chen Tianming smiled and shook his head. "That's not extreme sport. The real extreme sport is when the invigilator comes to collect the papers and you just have an idea for the last big question."
Bai Bufan and Lin Li looked at each other and chuckled.
That's extreme.
"This is so exciting! Luckily, they didn't emphasize that we have to put down our pens when the bell rings. After a lot of scribbling, I finally finished the first question. Hey, Lin Li, is the final answer (7, 2)?"
"Tsk, it really is."
"NICE!! We are the champions! We are always the champions!" Chen Tianming couldn't help but cheer himself up, feeling a little excited:
"I guessed the topic correctly, Lin Li. Today we have two big questions similar to the ones I just did this week. One of them was the one you just taught me at noon, so I'm sure you remember it! This counts as me helping you review!"
Bai Bufan and Lin Li's expressions changed when they heard this.
Bai Bufan, in particular, took a half step back and looked at Lin Li in horror: "Lin Li? Did you just teach Tianming at noon?
How could I not notice? When exactly? Was it when Wang Ze was in my bed? Oh my god...it's only been a while since I last stared at you guys! You have no shame! "
Bai Bufan was so angry that his hands and feet were cold in the middle of winter and he was shaking all over.
As for Lin Li, who was being scolded, he turned his face away guiltily, not daring to look at Bai Bufan, and said apologetically:
"Sorry, I didn't mean to hide it from you, but I just haven't figured out how to say it yet. Tianming took advantage of me teaching him a question and got me to drink some wine..."
Chen Tianming: “(；☉_☉)?”
Fuck you.
[It's the end of the month, please give me some monthly tickets, Arigato]
(End of this chapter)
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