Chapter 15
Lu Baiyan never imagined that despair had weight.
It pressed against his chest like a boulder soaked in ice water, making every breath a tearing pain. He knelt on the cold cement ground in the hospital's backyard, his fingertips digging into the rough particles until his nails cracked, oozing bright red blood, mingling with the rainwater on the ground and... and the glaring dark red left by Leilei.
"Leilei..." he called hoarsely, his voice broken and drowned out by the increasing sound of rain. The bouquet of white daisies he had intended to give her was now scattered on the ground, the pure white petals stained with mud and trampled by the hurried footsteps of medical staff, police, and onlookers, just like his entire world that had just been crushed.
He watched as she was covered with a white sheet, watched as her small, frail body was lifted onto a stretcher, watched as Wang Xiuqin's heart-wrenching cries faded into a deathly silence, watched as the eyes of those around her held either sympathy, regret, or numbness... Everything was like an absurd and cruel silent film, playing slowly before his eyes, yet the sound pierced his eardrums with a sharp edge.
It was him. He killed her. If he hadn't arranged to meet her, if he had arrived sooner, if he had stood firmly in front of her earlier, shielding her from all the storms... Countless "ifs" gnawed at his heart like venomous snakes.
He didn't know how he got home. Zhao Mei looked at him, distraught and soaking wet, opened her mouth, but ultimately said nothing. She just handed him a dry towel and clean clothes, her eyes red. He took them like a puppet, but didn't move. He just sat on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the dark night sky outside the window.
The rain was still falling. It was just like the night he first held an umbrella for her, and it was also just like the last time she stood in front of him, resolutely rushing into the rain.
"Leilei... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." He curled up, burying his face in his knees, and scalding tears finally streamed down his face, mingling with rain and unspeakable regret. Exhausted, he fell into a deep sleep.
...
The glaring sunlight shone through the gaps in the curtains onto my eyelids.
Lu Baiyan suddenly opened his eyes, a sharp headache causing him to groan. He instinctively glanced at the alarm clock on the bedside table—6:30 a.m.
Date... September 1st.
He froze, then sat up abruptly and looked around. The familiar room, the neatly stacked junior high textbooks on the desk, the study plan posted on the wall... everything was exactly the same as the morning he started high school.
Was it a dream? A long and terrifyingly real nightmare?
His heart was still pounding from the excruciating pain of his dream. He stumbled to his desk, grabbed the calendar, and checked his phone to confirm—it was indeed September 1st.
"Baiyan, get up! School starts today, don't be late!" Zhao Mei's voice came from the kitchen, as strict as ever, with an unquestionable force.
He pinched his arm hard, and felt a sharp pain.
It's not a dream.
Before that... the hospital, the rain, the cold cement floor, the scattered daisies, and... Leilei's lifeless face... what were those?
An absurd, unbelievable thought struck him like lightning. He rushed into the bathroom, splashed cold water on his face, looked up at himself in the mirror—a slightly immature figure with eyes that held a fear and world-weariness beyond his years.
Could it be...?
He changed into his school uniform with trembling hands, grabbed his schoolbag, and for the first time, ignored Zhao Mei's calls from behind to "eat breakfast before you leave," and rushed out of the house.
The morning air carried the chill unique to northern autumn. Familiar scenes flashed by on both sides of the street, yet they felt utterly unfamiliar to him. Only one thought occupied his mind—to go to school and confirm one thing.
He ran breathlessly to the door of Class 3, Grade 11. Many students were already seated inside, and the noise was overwhelming. His gaze swept across the entire classroom like a searchlight, finally settling on the second-to-last seat by the window.
In the sunlight, the girl lowered her head, her soft black hair falling beside her cheeks, quietly organizing the new textbooks in front of her. She wore a slightly faded school uniform, her figure slender, as if a gust of wind could blow her away.
It's Xu Nianlei.
Xu Nianlei is a living, breathing person.
She's still here. She's perfectly fine.
An overwhelming, ecstatic joy at having found what he had lost surged through him like a tsunami, making his eyes water and almost causing him to stumble. He leaned against the doorframe, gazing greedily at the figure, as if trying to etch her into the very depths of his soul.
"Lu Baiyan? What are you doing standing at the door?" The homeroom teacher's voice came from behind, tinged with a hint of doubt.
He snapped out of his daze, took a deep breath, and forced himself to calm down. He walked into the classroom, but his gaze never left that corner.
He remembered that, following his previous pattern, he would choose the empty seat next to her.
This time, he didn't hesitate at all and walked straight over. His footsteps were particularly clear in the quiet classroom.
Xu Nianlei seemed to sense something, and looked up, her eyes, which always carried a hint of timidity and melancholy, meeting his gaze. A clear look of panic flashed across her face, and like a startled fawn, she quickly lowered her head.
"Is anyone here?" He heard his own voice, trembling slightly. He struggled to suppress the urge to grab her immediately and confirm her presence.
Xu Nianlei shook her head frantically, her voice barely audible: "No, nothing."
"Thank you." He sat down, and the familiar, faint scent of soap wafted over him, this time filling him with an almost reverent sense of relief.
She's still alive. That's enough.
Whether what he experienced before was a premonition, a hallucination, or something else incredible, it doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that he has a chance to start over.
This time, he will not let tragedy happen.
He turned his head to look at the girl's tense profile and slightly trembling eyelashes, and silently made a vow in his heart, word by word.
Leilei, in this life, I will do everything in my power to protect you.
The school bell rang, and Lu Baiyan gripped his pen tightly, his eyes filled with an unprecedented determination and sharpness. At that moment, the gears of fate seemed to quietly shift in an unknown direction. He knew the road ahead would be difficult, he knew the thorns and storms hidden in the shadows, but this time, he was fearless.
Because he possessed the most precious gift in the world—a second chance.
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