Chapter 103 Since you left me, I haven’t had even a moment of happiness...
Xie Jing was heartbroken and in tears.
Not long ago, half of the imperial physicians left, and the other half stayed in the side hall.
Now the group of imperial doctors in the side hall were waiting outside the hall in fear, worried that the Ninth Prince might faint from the breath, and were ready to come over and give him first aid with acupuncture at any time.
"...It's really gone. All the Gu has been cleared!" Afraid Xie Jing wouldn't believe him, the witch doctor immediately laid out several bottles and jars to prove his point. "I specially brought all the Gu Kings with me. I put them near you, and there was no reaction. Take a look..."
As he said that, he opened the lid and handed it to Xie Jing.
Xie Jing's entire body was covered in hair and he was in great pain. He waved his hands repeatedly, "Take it away, take it away!"
Yu Qing hurriedly said, "Take it away quickly, don't come over here!"
The witch doctor had no choice but to retreat helplessly.
Xie Jing really couldn't accept it.
I went through so many twists and turns that day, and my body and mind were greatly damaged.
He nearly fell into the hands of the enemy, and then escaped death. However, because of the intense activity, his internal organs were stimulated, and he vomited blood and vomited...worms. Now his body is still in pain, and he suddenly learned the truth of the past ten years.
Although he had never seen one with his own eyes, he felt disgusted when things like insects got on his body.
Thinking about how there were so many in my body, and that every time I felt sick it was probably because of the wriggling poisonous insects, I suddenly felt like my whole body was full of insects crawling around, and I wished I could pull out all my bones, clean them, and put them back in.
"Your Highness." Yu Qing called.
She hesitated for a moment, and found that it was really difficult to coax him this time, so she just wiped his tears for the time being.
Xie Jing was overwhelmed with grief and hugged her as if she were a life-saving straw.
Yu Qing raised his eyes and looked at Xie Tingzhao silently, with only one sentence in his eyes: Look at what you have done.
Xie Tingzhao: “…”
Xie Jing choked up: "This is really too much."
The soon-to-be-crowned emperor was now speechless and began to futilely try to assign responsibility: "...It was indeed me who was responsible for finding the poisonous insect, but it was actually your mother who said she wanted to keep it a secret from you. Your aunt and the maidservant beside you all agreed..."
Xie Jing said: "Don't mention those two words!"
Yu Qing covered his ears and said helplessly, "Your Highness, why don't you go back first?"
Xie Tingzhao: “…”
Xie Tingzhao finally felt guilty and short of breath, so he quietly withdrew.
·
For Xie Jing, now that he knew he would not die, this result was more painful than death.
The whole person slumped on the bed, looking miserable, as if he had been tortured.
Yu Qing was worried that he would cry again, but Xie Jing said dejectedly, "I can't cry anymore. My eyes will be swollen again tomorrow."
Yu Qing felt distressed and a little amused.
Xie Jing continued, "How could you do this, my royal brother? Are you planning to keep this a secret from me forever?"
"It's his problem," Yu Qing agreed. "Men are too unreliable."
He even told her to keep it a secret, but ended up letting Xie Jing overhear it. Couldn't he have pulled her behind the screen and told her? How imprudent!
It must be said that Xie Tingzhao's prediction was very accurate. Seeing Xie Jing like this, Yu Qing also suggested that it would be better for him to remain in the dark for the rest of his life.
After finally keeping it a secret for ten years, it all came to nothing, causing Xie Jing to be so sad.
The princess is a beautiful, precious vase, even her heart is made of glass.
Therefore, you need to wrap it carefully with velvet, hold it in the palm of your hand and watch over it carefully to prevent it from breaking.
Yu Qing's love for him had reached an indescribable level, and she couldn't help but gently stroke his hair again.
The palace, which had been in turmoil all night, finally quieted down.
The window paper was filled with quiet moonlight. Everything was silent. The candlelight by the bedside flickered, its glow a warm yellow. Everything outside seemed to have disappeared. The world became just the two of them.
Xie Jing collapsed for most of the hour, but he finally calmed down.
After the sadness subsided, he began to feel sympathy. Why did he always make such a mess in front of her?
He was chased by the rebels, covered in blood, and was terrified all the way, crying for a long time; he vomited a bunch of messy things in the palace; and just now he was scared to death by insects.
I had always wanted to give her the best side, but in the end, she saw all the bad things that happened to me.
It had been a long time since he had met Yu Qing in the image of a "princess". He was now a far cry from the dignified and beautiful princess. He was not lovable, and might even be annoying.
Thinking of this, he felt discouraged again and felt that he was so unlucky.
"What's wrong?" Yu Qing asked softly.
She kept hugging Xie Jing and didn't let go. She keenly felt that he seemed to have something to say. Xie Jing seemed to be hesitant to speak, and his expression was filled with depression that made her helpless.
Her heart couldn't help but tighten, and she didn't know what Xie Jing was still worried about.
"...You'd better stay away from me," Xie Jing said sadly, "I have bugs on my body, and they might get on you."
Yu Qing said: "It's gone now. The witch doctor said so."
Xie Jing said, "But his level is not very good."
"Don't be afraid, even if it's true, it doesn't matter," Yu Qing said, "We can let him clear it again. Don't think about it anymore, okay? If you think too much, His Highness will have nightmares again."
She didn't know what to do with him, so she held Xie Jing's face in her hands.
Xie Jing's breathing hitched.
Yu Qing lowered her head and kissed him gently.
The kiss didn't last long, but it was extremely gentle. Xie Jing was a little stunned.
Yu Qing had always shown her infatuation only when she was with the "princess," but when she was with him, there was always a barrier in her eyes. Xie Jing always felt that it was difficult for him to impress her, and even if he tried his best, Yu Qing would not fall in love with him again.
But now, Yu Qing's gaze was so clear that it could create an illusion. There was only him in her eyes, so pure.
It's really strange.
It was clearly something he had always dreamed of, but now he felt a little nervous - it was too beautiful, which made him timid and worried that it was not real.
Xie Jing wanted to ask, why did you suddenly kiss me, why did you look at me like that? But when the words came to his lips, he said, "Will you leave tonight?"
Yu Qing said: "I won't leave, I will stay here with you."
They had kissed many times before, and from the first time Xie Jing kissed her, Yu Qing had loved the feeling. Later, most of these kisses occurred during their trysts, sometimes lingering, sometimes passionate. It was then that Yu Qing realized she had a deep desire for Xie Jing, a desire to be closer to him.
But now, after the kiss, although her heart was still restless, she no longer had the previous impatience and anxiety. The burning flame no longer burned her, but she felt warm because the longed-for pain was gone. He was in front of her, in her arms, and she was completely satisfied to be able to look at him quietly.
After stumbling and chasing for a long time, she finally arrived at this gentle place that brought her peace.
Yu Qing thought that she would never leave Xie Jing again.
·
After tossing and turning for almost the entire night, the sky was already turning pale, and the two of them snuggled together and fell asleep quietly.
In the past two or three years, Yu Qing often had restless sleep and was troubled by many thoughts and dreams. This night, although he was in an unfamiliar palace, he slept soundly, which was unusual.
It was only two or three hours, but she didn't feel tired at all when she woke up. When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Xie Jing's face. She didn't leave, but rested her chin on the head of the bed, admiring him quietly.
How did it grow up? It looks so good.
There were footsteps of a palace servant outside the door, and it seemed that someone was lingering at the door. Yu Qing thought that he was here to deliver food, so he wanted to let him go. However, the servant heard some movement inside and knocked on the door quietly to report that Concubine Rong had arrived.
Yu Qing: “…”
She hurriedly tidied her appearance, changed into the brocade robe sent by the palace maid, and then went out to meet the guests.
She had never interacted with Concubine Rong before, having only met her a few times. She felt somewhat uneasy when she thought of her as Xie Jing's mother. She said, "Greetings, Your Majesty. Sorry to have kept you waiting."
Concubine Rong smiled and said, "Just now I heard from the palace servants that you hadn't gotten up yet, so I didn't ask them to go and call you. Since you have nothing else to do, wait here for a while."
It turned out she had arrived long ago. It was already past noon, and Yu Qing, feeling slightly embarrassed, explained, "...I went to bed a little late yesterday."
She had talked to Xie Tingzhao several times before, and Xie Tingzhao had known about it for a long time, but she didn't quite understand Rong Fei's attitude, so she couldn't help feeling a little uneasy. She, an outsider, stayed in the palace with Xie Jing for a whole night... It seemed that something was indeed not right.
"Ting Zhao told me that he made a fuss until the hour of Yin. Alas," Rong Fei sighed, "he finally found out."
Yu Qing was a bit dissatisfied, thinking, how could Prince Rui say that? Xie Jing was not making a fuss at all. Xie Jing was just too sad, not noisy. The culprit was someone else.
"I also wanted to come over at that time, but it was just a thought. He should feel relieved with you by his side."
Yu Qing: “…”
Concubine Rong was not surprised by the unusual relationship between Xie Jing and herself.
She is also quite approachable, referring to herself only as "I" and without any airs.
Yu Qing vaguely remembered that a long time ago, it should be the night when she first learned that her secret was known to Xie Jing. When she questioned Xie Jing, Xie Jing said that he had not revealed it to anyone. Although his family knew what he was thinking, they all thought he was a homosexual.
It was very chaotic at the time, and Yu Qing didn't pay much attention to it. She was just angry and shocked at being exposed. Now that she thought about it, Xie Jing...probably had talked about her a long time ago.
Perhaps noticing Yu Qing's nervousness, Rong Fei softly said, "When I first met you, I felt you looked very familiar. When I first learned about you and A Jing... I was also worried, but then I felt that this was also a fate."
"I've wasted decades of my life, and I have too many regrets. It's impossible to start over again. Flowers may bloom again, but people can never be young again." Rong Fei's eyes were slightly dazed, and she continued softly, "Now I just hope that the children can cherish what they have now and not miss out on true love."
After all, Rong Fei's appearance was somewhat similar to Xie Jing's, gentle and peaceful, and Yu Qing was also moved for a moment.
Then she changed the subject, "The main thing is that Ajing is really hard to take care of. His temperament is different from others. If he were to be with other girls, they might not be able to tolerate him. He must have someone he can rely on. Fortunately, the prince doesn't despise him, otherwise who would he find to entrust his life to?"
These words seemed familiar. Back then, the princess had wept before her, saying, "If even you don't pity me, who else can I entrust my life to?"
Yu Qing said seriously, "Your Highness is good in every way. I will never dislike him."
Even though she was Xie Jing's biological mother, she didn't quite agree with what the other person said about Xie Jing.
Yu Qing was very determined. Rong Fei was stunned for a moment, then smiled and said, "...Didn't you have a long quarrel last time? Ting Zhao said that since he stopped going to Beichensi, he cried for several nights in the mansion..."
Yu Qing: “…”
She was stunned. When did this happen?
"Young people are like this. They fight at the head of the bed and make up at the foot of the bed," Rong Fei suddenly thought. "By the way, how did you use those things last time? A Jing seemed embarrassed to ask me for them. I'll give you some more later."
Concubine Rong left, and Yu Qing stayed where she was, still a little dazed.
·
She returned to the bedroom and found that Xie Jing had woken up.
Although he got up, he leaned listlessly against the bed, looking a little listless, with his hair untied.
Yu Qing asked, "Your Highness, what's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"
Xie Jing was startled, then raised his head, his eyes lighting up.
"...No," he said embarrassedly, "I just...I thought you had already left the palace."
Not long after Yu Qing left, he woke up from his dream. His pillow was empty and he couldn't help but fall into depression again.
Yu Qing: “…”
How could she possibly leave the palace? Just when she was out for a while, she couldn't help but want to come back to see Xie Jing as soon as possible.
Xie Jing had been in so many dangerous situations that she was already a bit stressed. As a result, whenever she left him, her nerves would be strained to the point of snapping. She always suspected that something bad would happen to Xie Jing once he was out of her sight, as if the whole world was trying to hurt him while she wasn't paying attention.
"I won't," Yu Qing sighed, "I only went out to see your mother when she came over just now."
Xie Jing asked in surprise: "Mother?"
Yu Qing sat beside him and said, "She told me something. She said that His Highness once cried for several nights in a row in the palace. Is that true?"
Xie Jing: “…”
Unexpectedly, this rumor spread around and finally reached Yu Qing's ears.
He was really humiliated.
"I didn't!" Xie Jing clarified, "It was only one night, no, only half the night... It's not what she said at all."
Yu Qing looked at him and thought, half a night is very long.
After Concubine Rong mentioned it, she remembered the argument between her and Xie Jing at that time. In fact, she had never forgotten it, because she also remembered that Xie Jing cried.
It seemed that from that time on, Xie Jing's tears became more and more. If they accumulated, they might have formed a small lake.
"Is it because I said something harsh to you?" Yu Qing whispered, "I think I said, 'If you were alive, I'd hope you were really dead'... I can't quite remember. Do you still remember?"
Xie Jing was stunned.
He nodded hesitantly.
"...Your Highness, please forget it. It was all said in anger," Yu Qing said softly. "I don't know why I said it. I didn't mean it at all... If I had known you could survive, I would have thanked the heavens, the Jade Emperor, and the Buddha for their mercy and for not taking you away."
How could she possibly want Xie Jing to die?
Her most beloved princess, the most precious treasure she could not let go of. How much she loved his smile, how much she missed his scent, how much she clung to his tenderness.
I can still see him and hear his voice, he is right within my reach - this was a dream that I could never realize.
It was a million times better than her feeling hopeless in the imperial mausoleum.
Her ill-fated princess was still alive.
Her poor princess had someone to rely on.
The lonely princess is loved and cared for by someone, and has her mother and brother to accompany her.
She did not die in the lonely snowy night, but lived a brighter life. No one could be happier than her.
As long as he was still in this world, whether he was a man or a woman, good or bad, what did it matter? Even if he really cheated on her and betrayed her, she could even accept it.
Looking up to the sky and down to the underworld, seeing nothing in either place is the eternal despair.
Her heart was simple, so she shouldn't have rushed to question anything. When she learned he was back, what she wanted to do most was actually hug him and cry, saying, "I'm so glad you didn't die. I'm so glad you didn't die. I miss you every day. Why did you come only now?"
However, her guard against Xie Jing dispelled the joy that should have been there, and in the end, she never showed it.
Yu Qing lowered her eyes. "Actually, I was just bothered at first. Why was it that after you left, everyone else knew, but I was the only one kept in the dark? You didn't tell me, so I always felt that you didn't love me. But I really... miss you so much. Ever since you left me, I haven't had a single moment of happiness. I feel sad just thinking of you."
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