Chapter 91: Madness She had really had enough of this torture. ...
Why can a person's expression be so sad and fragile?
She didn't know what was wrong with Xie Jing. She was filled with fear and doubt, and felt that she needed to get to him as soon as possible.
Xie Jing also hugged her tightly. She felt his slight trembling and low breathing, and she almost felt a sour taste in her mouth because of him.
After all, this is the person she holds dear to her heart. If this person is sad, she will feel the same way.
Yu Qing didn't know what to do. She put her hand on Xie Jing's shoulder. His hair was loose and a little messy. She subconsciously stroked his hair and gently brushed his back.
Xie Jing was overcome with emotion and took a long time to calm down. Every time he tried to speak, tears welled up in his eyes. Finally, he said aggrievedly, "I thought you wouldn't come back."
Xie Jing moved aside slightly, wiped his face with his sleeve in embarrassment, and took a deep breath.
Yu Qing opened her mouth, actually wanting to ask him to be gentler, because if she wiped it that way, her face would hurt when she turned around.
She said, "Come here."
She pulled Xie Jing's wrist, and Xie Jing followed her obediently. They sat on the edge of the bed. Yu Qing asked, "Where's your handkerchief?"
Xie Jing handed it to her.
Xie Jing never changed this habit; he always had a clean handkerchief with him. She used the soft silk to wipe the wetness from Xie Jing's eyes, thinking, "What long eyelashes!"
"Why are you crying?" Yu Qing asked, "What trouble did you run into?"
After she finished speaking, she felt that her voice was too cold and hard. She used to be very gentle with Qing Jia, but she hadn't spoken to him like that for a long time and she was a little uncomfortable.
"...I just..." Xie Jing paused, lowered his eyes, and said, "I'm not very happy."
Yu Qing: “…”
She sighed and thought, what nonsense, if I were happy, would I cry?
Xie Jing didn't want to act like this in front of Yu Qing. He really didn't expect her to come back, and now he feels very embarrassed.
When you think about it carefully, the things that happened to him don't seem to be very serious. The only scary thing is his illness, but he can't tell whether it is mild or severe.
Originally, he could have held on, but today, Yu Qing left and he couldn't anymore. He couldn't say it was Yu Qing's fault, could he?
Yu Qing couldn't bear to see Xie Jing frowning, so he said, "Forget it. It doesn't matter if you can't tell me. Go tell your brother and ask him to find a solution for you. If there's anything I can help you with, come to me."
After a little analysis, she felt that Xie Jing was a prince after all, and it was unlikely that he would be wronged by anyone.
He'd been nervous about attending court before. Was it because the tasks assigned to him were too overwhelming? He'd been lingering in the palace for quite some time today, perhaps discussing something important with Prince Rui that he couldn't disclose. Was there some serious struggle going on? Had he encountered a difficult situation?
I don’t know how Prince Rui takes care of him, Yu Qing thought, he doesn’t even care about his own brother.
...Even though Yu Qing knew that there were reasons for Xie Tingzhao's attitude towards Qingjia, it seemed that he had become accustomed to blaming him in his heart, and it was really difficult to change the prejudice.
Xie Jing said, "Yeah."
He looked at Yu Qing intently, and felt his heart soften. Seeing his expression change, Yu Qing immediately said, "Okay, stop crying."
Xie Jing explained: "I don't want to..."
He hugged Yu Qing softly again. Yu Qing was a little stiff, but still let him hold her.
She seemed to finally be able to breathe a sigh of relief. She had been feeling depressed the entire evening, and it seemed that she would only feel better after coaxing the princess.
Xie Jing asked, "Are you still leaving tonight?"
After such a long time, it was already the middle of the night. Yu Qing thought, how can I leave now? She said, "...I'll rest here."
When she lay down, she was still a little worried and kept wanting to check on Xie Jing. In the darkness, Xie Jing whispered, "Do you find me annoying?"
Yu Qing thought that Xie Jing must not know how to write the word "hate".
She said helplessly: "I don't think so. Go to sleep."
Xie Jing moved over carefully, then rested his forehead on her shoulder again. He said, "You are so kind."
In fact, Yu Qing has not changed at all.
At first, when he first arrived at the Marquis' Mansion, Qingjia was just a strange princess to Yu Qing, but Yu Qing also took care of her patiently.
Now, she is still willing to come back to accompany me. In fact, she has always been soft-hearted.
Whenever he hit a wall, he'd occasionally wonder why Yu Qing was so cold. Actually, Yu Qing was not at fault at all. He'd simply been greedy and unwilling to give up. Yu Qing was clearly more than good enough.
He was the only one who understood how kind she was, and he was the one who received the most care.
Only when Yu Qing is here can he feel the long-lost peace.
Xie Jing felt her breath, as if he had never felt so satisfied before. Both his fatigue and uneasiness gradually melted away. For this moment, all the pain before was insignificant. Yu Qing's existence was so important.
He finally fell into a deep sleep.
·
Yu Qing listened to his long breathing and almost didn't close his eyes all night.
She found that she really couldn't live without Xie Jing.
Even though she had many unspeakable desires, when she really saw Xie Jing crying, she felt only pain in her heart.
Her feelings for Xie Jing had already reached such a deep level that she was no longer in the chaotic state of mind caused by her love affair, but was clearly aware of her own state of mind.
There will be no one in the world who can replace Xie Jing. He doesn't even have to do anything or say anything to win her heart.
Yu Qing's mind was filled with Xie Jing, himself, the Marquis's Mansion, the emperor, the court, all kinds of chaos.
·
The next day, she took the initiative to ask for leave, which was rare. She left the palace but did not go to the Imperial Guard House. She returned home and took a nap. After waking up, the first person she thought of was Xie Jing. She wondered if he was feeling better today.
Even if Xie Jing might not be that worried, it still weighed heavily on her mind.
In fact, she didn't know why Xie Jing was crying. Maybe Xie Jing did it on purpose? He had seduced her like this last time.
But she soon thought, how could he be so smart and know that she would be able to come back after leaving?
She even began to speak for him on her own initiative.
Yu Qing came to his yard and wanted to cheer himself up, so he picked up the sword. However, at the end of practicing, it was like venting, and he didn't stop until the leaves and flowers swept by the sword energy were all over the ground.
She calmed herself down and was about to leave when she realized that Yu Wei was not far away.
Yu Qing was stunned: "Elder sister?"
Yu Wei said, "I was passing by your place and heard some noise, so I came to check it out. Aren't you on duty today?"
Yu Qing said: "...Yeah."
In fact, Yu Wei had come here once in the morning and found that Yu Qing was not there. Although Qiying did not tell her where she had gone, Yu Wei knew very well that Yu Qing was probably meeting someone secretly again.
However, she didn't expect Yu Qing to be in the house at this moment, and he looked unhappy. Yu Wei walked over, glanced at the mess on the ground, and said with a smile: "What's the matter? Did someone make you unhappy?"
Yu Qing lowered his eyes and said, "No."
As someone who had been through this, how could Yu Wei not see the clues? She took Yu Qing inside and tried to pry him open with soft words and hard words: "...Did they have a fight, or something? Could it be that you weren't satisfied?"
Yu Qing: “…”
She held her forehead and said, "...I really didn't do anything. He and I have nothing to do with each other. After all, I'm not...an ordinary person."
Yu Wei was stunned. She didn't expect Yu Qing to say that. She immediately understood what the difficulty was that was holding Yu Qing back.
Her eyebrows furrowed as she said, "I understand. I'll think of a solution for you. Is your celestial being a man or a woman?"
Yu Qing said: "...a man."
Yu Wei said, "Well, what do you value about him?"
It is normal for ordinary girls to talk about these things with each other, but Yu Qing has no experience and now feels a little embarrassed.
She was a little hesitant to describe her temperament and aura, so she finally said, "Face."
Yu Wei let out a long "Oh." She thought to herself that Yu Qing was indeed practical. It was true that a man without good looks was useless. They and her sisters agreed on this point.
Yu Qing said awkwardly, "It's not just the face. There's other things too."
"It's easy," Yu Wei said, "You don't have to worry so much. He's just a man."
Yu Qing was stunned and thought to himself, he is not an ordinary man.
"As for you, just tell him straight up whether he's willing to come to our mansion. Once he comes, don't run around outside. You'll have food and lodging, and you'll be treated like a queen. If he doesn't agree, you can just kidnap him and bring him here. We're a wealthy family, so we won't treat him badly. As long as he's willing to follow you and make you happy every day, he'll have everything he needs for a comfortable life."
Yu Qing: “…”
Yu Qing said with difficulty: "...It's not very good, right?"
Yu Wei said, "What's wrong with that? If he doesn't listen and wants to run away, just lock him up in the dungeon, chain him up, and whip him a few times. He'll behave after a while. That's how you should treat men. Just think about your own happiness first and don't worry about other things. Since you like this man's face, then stay with him."
Yu Qing was sweating profusely as he looked at his gentle-faced sister.
"Oh, he might not be unwilling. When I chose your brother-in-law, I also wanted to force it if he didn't agree, but he was quite happy. Nothing went wrong over the years. You have good taste," Yu Wei said. "Besides, you even chose princesses before. As long as they are not the sons of the emperor, they are marrying up to our family. Our family is of high status. It is a blessing for him to be able to come. As long as you behave yourself, you will definitely get benefits from him."
Yu Qing: “…”
Unfortunately, he really is the grandson of the emperor. Yu Qing thought, if he told Yu Wei, she probably wouldn't be so relieved. Anyone else would have ended things between him and Xie Jing as soon as possible.
But she was still deeply shocked by her elder sister's words. When she went to her parents' house for dinner, she saw Shen Zhan busy trying to coax her little daughter to eat. She couldn't help but think of chains and whips. Her heart was a little complicated, and she said slowly: "...Brother-in-law, it's not easy for you to follow my sister for all these years."
Shen Zhan: “?”
He didn't understand what was going on, so he looked up at Yu Wei not far away. His wife was smiling, and he couldn't help but smile too.
"It's not that bad," Shen Zhan said with a smile, "I didn't feel it was hard."
·
If Xie Jing were an ordinary man, Yu Qing might actually listen to her elder sister's advice. The thought of raising Xie Jing in the Marquis's mansion, right by her side, day and night, just like before, was heart-warming.
However, those methods didn't work on Xie Jing.
As a prince, ordinary fine clothes and delicious food could not impress him, and the Xuanbei Marquisate did not have much to recommend it to him. Xie Jing had already left once.
What if I could satisfy him with something else? Yu Qing could give him something better.
If Yu Qing told him that she was willing to help him unconditionally, willing to be his sharp sword, and willing to use her power and connections to clear obstacles for him in exchange for Xie Jing never betraying her, would Xie Jing agree?
Yu Qing didn't know either.
This thought lingered in her mind for a long time before she went to sleep, almost becoming an impulse. She wanted to tell Xie Jing that anything she had could be used by him.
…This impulse did not last until the next day.
Her dream was gloomy, trapped in a dark alley with no exit. After wandering around for a long time, she finally found a ray of light. She saw Xie Jing standing there. She was originally full of hope, but then she felt a sharp pain in her body. She lowered her head. Xie Jing had stabbed her with a sword.
She woke up in an instant, covered in cold sweat. There was a muffled thunder outside the window, which instantly illuminated her room.
The impatience in the dream and the hardship outside the dream are intertwined together like a fine net.
She found that she still couldn't do it.
In this life, reason always comes first, and feelings come second. She can't hand over a sword that can hurt her to someone else. Regardless of whether Xie Jing does this or not, she will worry about it.
So she always thought that she and Xie Jing could not be entangled forever, and the best outcome was to break up. Perhaps her biggest concession was to allow Xie Jing, who knew her secret, to live as usual.
Now she knew it was impossible.
She loved him so much that she almost lost herself. Her possessiveness towards Xie Jing would only grow stronger. But love and trust were two different things after all.
What else can we do?
So that she could possess him wholeheartedly and completely? At the same time, he would also ensure that Xie Jing would never hurt her? Would he not let her worry?
The rain continued all night long. In early autumn, the cool air from the rain invaded the window lattices.
Yu Qing's eyes slowly froze. She had really had enough of this torture.
When the thunder sounded again, a string in her mind also broke.
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