Chapter 38 The young master also said that there is no reason to take back what has been given away, so please be sure to accept it.
"Grandpa, look at my brother, why is he crying?"
The child, innocent yet concerned, came over and pulled me back from my old memories.
I reached out and touched my cheek; it was indeed wet, covered in tears.
I wiped away the tears with the back of my hand, just as I had done when I last saw my mother, and smiled slightly amidst the concerned gazes around me.
She apologized softly, as if a little embarrassed: "I'm sorry, I was a little sleepy just now, so I didn't react for a moment and made everyone worry."
Chang Li was the first to react. He patted his little chest, breathed a sigh of relief like a little adult, and then laughed it off.
"Ah, I see. Brother, the way you were just now really startled me. I thought you had forgotten about me again."
A certain word in a children's fairy tale made me feel strange.
I don't understand why he said "again," as if... I had forgotten him once.
But clearly, all of our time together has been less than ten days.
—I'm pretty sure I've never met the other person before.
"Brother, what are you doing... looking at me like that?"
I don't know if it was because I was staring at him so intently, but the usually chubby little guy seemed a bit uncomfortable... and even looked a bit guilty.
I shook my head: "I was just wondering if we've met before."
Upon hearing this, I noticed that the expressions on the faces of the old man and the young man from the Chang family were somewhat strange, and the two exchanged a glance.
Mr. Chang was the first to react, slapping Chang Li on the back of the head: "You little brat, you speak without thinking, just blurting things out. Look what you've done to people who misunderstand you."
Chang Li scratched the back of his head, looking somewhat aggrieved. When he met my probing gaze, he lowered his head resignedly, pouted, and mumbled, "I know, Grandpa. I won't talk nonsense again next time...it's misunderstood."
Seeing his dejected appearance, I felt a little embarrassed.
"Mr. Chang, it's nothing, just a small matter. I was overthinking it just now." I paused, then asked about the injury on my leg, "Mr. Chang, you just changed the dressing. I wonder how my recovery is going?"
Sure enough, Mr. Chang's attention was immediately drawn to anything related to his profession.
Even Chang Li, who was secretly sticking his tongue out at him from the corner, didn't notice.
In Mr. Chang's words, the recovery from the injury was better than expected.
"Of course, if you hadn't taken it upon yourself to get out of bed and walk around like that, we might have been able to remove the bandages today," he added, sounding somewhat dissatisfied.
"Grandpa, didn't you just say that my brother has recovered very well? Why are you being so picky?" Chang Li couldn't help but whisper in response.
Mr. Chang glared at him: "Don't you know what it means to go wrong by a hair's breadth? You only aim for 'good enough' in everything, but in the end, the difference will be huge. After saying all this, do you want what's best for him, or do you not want what's best for him?"
Chang Li choked for a moment: "Then of course I... of course I want my brother to be well."
"Then shut up and watch from the side."
After Mr. Chang finished speaking, he turned his head away and ignored his grandson.
His attitude made me wonder if the kind old man who kept calling me his "good grandson" on the first day I met had ever really existed.
What we're seeing now is probably the typical way this grandfather and grandson interact, which... really captures the essence of everyday life.
I don't really care whether they are hiding something from me.
In my opinion, it's already very kind of strangers to express such goodwill to each other. What's more, they went to such lengths to treat my old wounds.
So I just smiled and looked at the two of them, but my mind was on other things.
It wasn't until after Mr. Chang and his companion left that I finally had a chance to ask Mr. Ajiu, who was also in the room but had remained silent the whole time.
I know that Mr. Ajiu, as Li Xiao's attendant, would appear here alone, which must be at the master's behest.
When I think of Li Xiao, I recall that moment of weightlessness I felt in his arms.
In the instant I fell down the stairs, Li Xiao grabbed me tightly with both arms, blocking my vision and plunging me into darkness. My shoulders and limbs ached from the tightness of the grip.
Before I lost consciousness, a thought vividly surfaced in my mind—he was protecting me.
Li Xiao shielded me with his body, like protecting a chick, tightly holding me in his arms when I was dazed from the cold.
He bumped into the wooden steps and hurt himself badly.
I don't know whether Li Xiao's reaction at the time was an instinctive, unconscious action or a genuine desire to protect me from potential harm and danger.
However, I must admit that at that moment, I felt an indescribable sense of peace. So, I simply let myself pass out.
Even now, just thinking about it still brings a strange warmth to my heart, a mix of joy and bewilderment.
My fingers unconsciously clenched the blankets in front of me, and some scattered memories flashed through my mind.
At that time, I clearly gripped the boy's clothes just as tightly, perhaps even tighter. That's why you can still see the red marks on my palms.
"How is Young Master Li now?"
When I asked about Li Xiao, a subtle expression of surprise and relief flashed across Mr. Ajiu's face for a moment, which puzzled me.
"Don't worry, although the young master suffered a minor injury, he's fine. And—"
Mr. Ajiu paused slightly as he spoke, a gentle smile of ambiguity appearing faintly from his thick beard: "And if the young master knew how much you care about him, he would be very happy."
Will Li Xiao be happy because of my concern?
Although I had some doubts, I still felt a faint flutter in my chest.
It felt like being gently brushed against the tip of your heart by a blade of grass glistening with dew, or like the soft touch of a cat's tail as it lazily strolled by.
—This feels very strange.
My hand, which was gripping the corner of the blanket, unconsciously moved up to my chest, where it seemed to be beating faster than before…
"Are you feeling unwell somewhere?" Mr. Ajiu asked with concern.
"No, no." I shook my head, answering somewhat apologetically, "I... Pipa only suddenly remembered and asked, I'm not as... concerned as Mr. Jiu said, and Young Master Li really did it because of me this time..."
"That's why the young master instructed me to make the trip myself no matter what."
Mr. Ajiu took over what I hadn't finished saying and then took out a brocade box and handed it to me.
"……This is?"
Meeting my puzzled gaze, Mr. Ajiu nodded slightly: "Young Master asked me to bring it."
I opened the box with a lot of doubt. Inside was something that looked somewhat familiar: a small, exquisite jade pendant.
I had intended to return it to Li Xiao, but I was afraid of losing it, so I kept it close to my body in my pocket. But somehow I just forgot about it...
I have absolutely no recollection of how the item ended up in Li Xiao's hands.
But since that's the case, it's finally returned to its rightful owner, so there's no point in taking it back... Besides, Li Xiao's name is clearly engraved on it, so it's not something that should be handed over casually.
As if reading my thoughts, Mr. Ajiu added, "The young master also said that there's no reason to take back something that's been given away, so please be sure to accept it."
...Things that were sent out?
If I remember correctly, this thing was something Li Xiao casually took from his waist when he was lying on the soft couch, and used it to hit me. It just so happened that he was too weak at the time, so it fell to the ground and I picked it up.
The boy did say something like he gave me the jade pendant later, but I didn't take it seriously.
Firstly, although Li Xiao said it wasn't anything valuable, I couldn't help but think it was something special. Otherwise, given Li Xiao's arrogant personality, he wouldn't have worn it so close to his body.
Secondly, and most importantly, there's the name on it. How can you just give away an item that already has an owner? Especially in a place like this. If someone actually accepts it, to put it nicely, it's a token of affection; to put it bluntly, it's practically like accepting payment from a customer for prostitution.
Admittedly, Li Xiao and I didn't actually have any relationship beyond the ordinary, but if others saw it, they would inevitably gossip.
For example, the eldest son of the prestigious Li family, after being repeatedly rejected, became so despondent that he started an affair with the servant of the woman he was pursuing...
Leaving aside my insignificant status as a servant, the reputations of Li Xiao and Young Master Lan will naturally be affected. Even if... Young Master Lan never returns, I cannot allow this to happen.
However, since Mr. Ajiu has come here on orders, it might put him in a difficult position if I simply refuse.
After thinking about it, I took the box and thanked them.
Thank you, Mr. Ajiu, for making this special trip. As for the jade pendant, I will explain it to Li Xiao in person next time I see him.
When Mr. Ajiu saw me casually close the lid, he suddenly looked hesitant and said nothing.
Perhaps thinking about what he was about to say, his expression became somewhat serious.
"And then there's the matter concerning Young Master Lan."
"..."
The body has been found, buried deep in the snow near the collapse. It took a long time to find and dig.
Yesterday, it was Li Xiao who personally dug out Young Master Lan's frozen body bit by bit from the depths of the thick snow.
The movements were slow, even a little cautious, perhaps for fear of accidentally harming Young Master Lan's body.
Li Xiao spent half a day digging from morning until evening, without even having time to eat a hot meal.
After finally managing to dig the body out, the young man wouldn't allow anyone to approach him. Instead, he used his almost numb hands to personally collect the body and then sent people to transport it back to an abandoned old house of the Lan family in the city overnight.
He then returned to the city with the convoy.
It is said that Li Xiao has been acting strangely ever since he dug out the person. He seems lost and confused, and it is unknown what he is thinking.
In the end, he came here without saying goodbye to anyone, perhaps wanting to see where Young Master Lan had always lived, but for some reason he was unable to push open the door and went into the room next door instead.
When Li Xiao arrived, I was fast asleep, so he didn't wake me.
Li Xiao also had the lanterns extinguished. Perhaps because he had been in the snow for too long, his eyes always felt sore, and the candlelight made it even worse.
As for the wine that Li Xiao drank, it was a medicinal wine specially prepared by Mr. Ajiu for his young master to ward off the cold.
Seeing that the boy seemed unwilling to be disturbed, Mr. Ajiu quietly withdrew. He hadn't anticipated the unexpected turn of events.
After hearing what Mr. Ajiu said, I finally realized where Li Xiao's unusually cold hands and the heavy, damp chill came from.
So it was because of Young Master Lan... because Young Master Lan is really gone.
I should have felt sad and even cried on the spot after losing someone who was so good to me.
Even when Young Master Lan was still alive, I shed tears in front of him countless times, but now that he's gone, my eyes feel empty, and my nose feels... I don't feel a single pang of sorrow.
I felt only a calm, an unusual calm. It was as if I had expected it all along, and now it had simply been confirmed.
Or perhaps she was thinking of her deceased mother.
My mother was the kindest person in the world to me, but she died, still worried about my future. She said, "Go, leave this village, and don't come back."
I followed her instructions and drifted here by boat through a winding journey.
Young Master Lan was the second kindest person to me after my mother. He taught me to read and write, gave me delicious snacks, told me all sorts of interesting stories, and would gently stroke the top of my head with his palm. But he died too.
I once promised Young Master Lan that I would become a very good and capable person in the future.
But without Young Master Lan, without the future he represents, how can I become that kind of person? And even if I do, how can I let others see it?
I felt lost, and a low buzzing sounded in my ears. When I came to my senses, I heard Mr. Ajiu say, "...You've been frozen so badly that you're almost completely unrecognizable. So, what I mean is that it's best not to go see him. Besides, your current condition isn't suitable for you to travel back and forth."
I was stunned for a moment before I realized that the other person was talking about seeing Young Master Lan one last time.
I opened my mouth, wanting to say something, but after a long pause, what I finally said was, "In that case, I won't go."
Mr. Ajiu clearly didn't expect me to agree so readily. The words he wanted to use to persuade me were all stuck in his throat. He didn't speak for a while, and his gaze towards me became more complicated.
He was probably thinking how cold-blooded this person was. Someone he'd spent every day with suddenly died, and his last farewell to the world was abruptly ended.
But I don't care... I don't know what I should care about anymore.
Perhaps fate truly exists in this world, and it is my destiny that those who treat me well will ultimately meet a bad end.
After giving a few more instructions to get some rest, Mr. Ajiu left the room and gently closed the door behind him.
The charcoal fire inside was burning very brightly, so I didn't feel cold or hot.
My gaze swept across the familiar house, looking at the furnishings inside, imagining the scene when Young Master Lan was here not long ago.
Now that Young Master Lan is gone, I probably won't be able to stay in this room any longer. So I want to remember as much as I can while I still can.
The night of the winter solstice seems so vivid in my mind. I originally thought I would welcome the new year in that atmosphere, but now I realize it was just wishful thinking.
Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of an orchid on the windowsill. The graceful flowers I remembered were long gone, leaving only an empty stem, forlornly standing in the air.
Where did the flowers go?
Normally, no one is allowed to enter the house without Young Master Lan's permission, and even if someone does enter, they won't easily move any of the furnishings. I've always been the one who cleans and sweeps the house.
If nothing unexpected happens, the withered orchids shouldn't have been removed yet.
As I pondered this, I looked around, but in the end, I only saw what looked like scraps of paper on the ground below the windowsill.
I leaned forward to get a closer look, but I didn't notice that the box containing the jade pendant slipped off my lap and fell with a clatter onto the couch beside the bed.
The lid, which wasn't properly closed, fell out, revealing a jade pendant of emerald green and a bright red beaded cord. I was startled, and picked it up with my fingertip. I then discovered that the previous sachet had been replaced with an exquisite knot, the end of which dangled a tassel made of colorful silk threads, making it look quite unique.
I suddenly remembered what Mr. Ajiu said when he left: "This contains a part of the young master's heart."
Could it be... this is what you're referring to?
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