Chapter 60 You Broke Your Promise
"I said... I want to end this sooner."
Mu Yan spoke softly, yet his words struck like a silent thunderclap, then vanished into the still sea of night.
Shang Qiyue is like that sea.
He was pulled around by Shang Qiyue and tightly encircled by his arm. They were very close, and Mu Yan didn't want to bury himself in his arms, so he had to look up at him.
Shang Qiyue remained silent for a moment, and Mu Yan was almost prepared for him to get angry at him.
“That won’t do.” Shang Qiyue’s tone wasn’t as angry as he had expected. His chest heaved as if he had taken a deep breath. “Think of something else. I’ll agree to anything except this.”
Mu Yan didn't speak, but looked up at him.
You promised me you'd do anything, but now you're going back on your word?
“Besides this,” Shang Qiyue felt his throat tighten terribly, making it extremely difficult to speak, “Besides this, Mu Yan. You can choose another one, I’ll agree to anything except this.”
His gaze was burning hot, as if he wanted to burn a hole through Mu Yan's body.
Mu Yan didn't like it, so she turned her head away to avoid his gaze.
"Aren't we good enough now? I'll treat you even better in the future. I've never treated anyone else the way I've treated you..."
“I know. I know you’re good to me,” Mu Yan nodded gently, “otherwise I wouldn’t have… saved you back then. You were the one who asked me to make a request, and if you didn’t agree, then so be it.”
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that today," Mu Yan said softly. "Don't be angry, just pretend I didn't say it."
"You shouldn't have said that..."
Shang Qiyue didn't feel guilty at all. He could have said many more things to Mu Yan. Who in a good life talks about divorce all the time? Who in a good job talks about quitting all the time?
But what kind of talk is Mu Yan giving? If you don't want to agree, fine, it sounds like a rather helpless statement. It's as if Shang Qiyue clearly promised him but didn't keep his word, only saying nice things.
But that's not the case at all. Apart from this, Shang Qiyue can agree to anything he wants next year.
"Why don't you think of something else?" Shang Qiyue softened his tone. "I'll agree to anything you want."
“But I have nothing else I want.” Mu Yan lowered his eyes, his tone calm yet clear.
Shang Qiyue's hand suddenly tightened, as if a string that had been stretched too tight had finally snapped.
He reached out and turned Mu Yan's shoulders, pulling him tightly into his arms without a word, and pressed his lips down hard.
That kiss was anything but gentle; it carried an almost forceful stubbornness.
Mu Yan was forced back by his kiss, his hands braced against the edge of the sink. Shang Qiyue seemed unable to find even the slightest foothold, lifting him up completely, severing him from everything except himself.
Mu Yan was forced to hug his neck tightly.
By the time Shang Qiyue finally relented, he was already struggling to breathe.
"Mu Yan, what did I do to offend you? I gave you money and helped you with your family problems. I've never been bad to you, have I? You could stay by Lu Chong's side for so long, but you couldn't even tolerate being with me for a year?"
Mu Yan's lips were also bitten and bled. He reached out to wipe them, but Shang Qiyue wiped them away first.
"You were the one who asked me, and you said you'd agree to anything." Perhaps because she was a little short of breath from the kiss, Mu Yan's tears welled up.
"I already said no, but you kept asking me."
"Do you think I want to agree to this?" Shang Qiyue couldn't help but raise his voice.
Mu Yan realized that he was angry after being yelled at, so she didn't argue back.
After the initial commotion, Mu Yan's tears seemed unstoppable. Shang Qiyue saw this, but if he continued arguing with Mu Yan, they would inevitably end up fighting. He could only turn away in frustration, frowning, and sit down on a chair in the restaurant.
How annoying! He made Mu Yan cry again.
He spent the whole afternoon preparing a table full of dishes, and then asked Mu Yan if he had any wishes. Wasn't he just trying to make him happy?
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Mu Yan standing there with his head down, gently wiping away his tears with the back of his hand.
Shang Qiyue felt a little regretful; he should have wiped away his tears before leaving.
Shang Qiyue couldn't understand how things had escalated to this point. He found Mu Yan's actions inexplicable; he had been in a good mood today, but Mu Yan had to pull this stunt.
Shang Qiyue was used to being the center of attention, and even if he knew he was wrong, he might not apologize to Mu Yan, especially since he felt that Mu Yan was the one who started this today.
As Mu Yan's familiar aura drew closer, Shang Qiyue felt even more annoyed. Without even turning his head, he didn't want to apologize, but he also didn't want to hear Mu Yan apologize.
Stared at by Mu Yan's pitiful, animal-like eyes, he felt like he was wrong even though he hadn't done anything wrong.
Mu Yan walked to his side, squatted down, and rested her head on Shang Qiyue's lap.
Shang Qiyue immediately lost all his anger.
“Get up,” he said, placing his hand on the back of Mu Yan’s neck and squeezing it. “If you squat like that for a while, I guarantee you’ll get dizzy again when you stand up. Don’t you know you have low blood sugar?”
Mu Yan was like a cat whose neck had been grabbed, and he was forcibly pulled to his feet by his arm.
"Tell me nicely, tell me where you feel wronged, and I'll change. I do have a bad temper, I've never been in a relationship, and I learned everything about sex from watching porn. If there's anything wrong with me, or if you're uncomfortable with me, I'll change, okay?"
Mu Yan reached out and hugged him, burying his head in his chest. Shang Qiyue gently stroked his hair: "Tell me, what's wrong with me? I'll change."
“You’re not bad,” Mu Yan replied quickly.
"Meeting you... is the luckiest thing that ever happened to me," he murmured, his nose tingling with tears. "I'm so ungrateful..."
For some reason, Mu Yan became very spoiled and prone to crying in front of Shang Qiyue.
Perhaps it was because the actual Shang Qiyue was too good, so different from his worst-case scenario, that he repeatedly developed expectations and began to yearn for things he shouldn't have thought about.
Shang Qiyue treated him very well, spending money on him, supporting him, and showering him with sweet words in bed.
Having been someone's mistress to this extent, one should be content. Pleasing the boss is making money, pleasing a sugar daddy is making money, and with a sugar daddy as generous and kind as Shang Qiyue, it would be ungrateful to not be satisfied.
But Mu Yan just wouldn't understand.
If this happened to someone else, Mu Yan wouldn't think it was shameless to sell one's dignity for the sake of family and livelihood. If it weren't for poverty, who wouldn't want to live a decent life?
But when it happened to him, he just couldn't get over that mental hurdle.
He knew he was being old-fashioned and pretentious, but he just couldn't accept what he was doing.
If Shang Qiyue treats him badly, then so be it; he just needs to grit his teeth and get through this year.
But most of the time, Shang Qiyue was gentle and considerate towards him, making him feel like he was being loved.
This feeling is too torturous. Shang Qiyue fits his ideal of a lover in every way, and they do all the things that lovers do.
Shang Qiyue would kiss him, coax him, and help him solve all the problems in his life.
It felt very comfortable when Shang Qiyue kissed me; my body felt tingly and numb, and I felt a little dizzy.
Shang Qiyue felt very uncomfortable during his sensitive period; his face would burn red, and he would only feel a little better if he was held and comforted.
However, he knew that he absolutely could not fall in love with Shang Qiyue.
If he falls for Shang Qiyue... he's doomed.
If you like someone, you like them; if you don't like someone, you don't like them. When Mu Yan likes someone, he wants to treat them wholeheartedly and give them everything he has.
He couldn't always be as adept as Shang Qiyue.
He didn't know if Shang Qiyue liked him or not, and even if he did, it wasn't the kind of unreserved liking that Mu Yan had for others.
He's very kind when he's kind to himself, but he's also very mean when he's mean to himself.
Mu Yan felt like he was going to die; if things continued like this, his heart would break in two.
She likes Shang Qiyue half the time, but she's also consciously against him.
When Shang Qiyue said he would agree to anything, Mu Yan almost thought he was about to be free.
But now, Shang Qiyue has gone back on his word again.
Shang Qiyue felt that there was a wet patch on the front of his shirt, so he quickly pulled the other person aside to wipe his tears.
He was a little helpless, but he didn't dislike coaxing Mu Yan like this: "Can't you be reasonable? I've already told you where you were wronged. Tell me and I'll change. You're just crying and not saying anything."
It's strange. He's always found it annoying to see others cry, especially those who don't cry out loud but just whine. But when he sees Mu Yan like this, his heart melts, and he doesn't find it annoying at all when comforting him.
Mu Yan's shoulders trembled slightly: "You broke your promise..."
“I can’t agree to that. I didn’t expect you to say that. Fine, I’ll just go back on my word,” Shang Qiyue said defiantly. “That’s just not going to work.”
Mu Yan looked up at him with her red, tear-filled eyes, and Shang Qiyue didn't want to meet her gaze at all.
"Yes, I did break my promise, but I also said I'd be okay with anything else. I didn't want to end it early, but I also said I was willing to change whatever made you unhappy, but you wouldn't say." Shang Qiyue became increasingly angry as he spoke.
"What more do you want? I've been good enough to you, can you stop being so dramatic?"
The moment Shang Qiyue uttered those words, he realized that he had spoken too harshly. Just as he was about to explain, he saw Mu Yan's tears well up in her eyes like a burst dam.
“I’ve already apologized…” Mu Yan said, crying. “I’ve already said sorry, and you can just pretend I didn’t say it. Why are you still saying this to me?”
"You just said you'd change anything that made me unhappy, but you're saying this to me right after you finished speaking."
You don't know how hurtful it will be if you say something like that.
If Shang Qiyue had just thought before speaking, he would have known.
He just didn't want to think about it too much.
He was like that, and so was Lu Chong. Actually, they weren't bad-tempered at all. Mu Yan had seen how they socialized with others. They spoke in a tactful and pleasant way, and Mu Yan had to rack his brains several times to understand the implied meanings in their words.
They're not being blunt or having a bad temper; they just don't want to use their good temper on themselves.
[Author's Note]
I made a request and you got upset. [eye roll]
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