Chapter 111: Are you going to lock me up again?
Xu Xingxing felt that this scene was very familiar.
It looked so familiar that before her brain could react to what was happening, her body began to tremble violently.
She saw that Chen Li's eyes had become dull, but he was still staring at her, with his eyes wide open.
She saw the blade that Chen Li used to stab herself slip from her heart, but she didn't feel any pain at all.
She saw Gu Nuo holding Chen Li from behind and spitting out blood. He watched her thin lips open and close, but did not say a word.
She seemed to hear the voices of Jiang Sheng and the others, but had no idea what they were saying.
Amidst the chaotic noise, someone's urgent voice was heard. The voice that had made her feel safe and happy in the past now made her gradually losing body temperature and feel even colder.
And this chill kept falling infinitely and rapidly until her eyes went dark and she completely lost consciousness.
*
Xu Xingxing had many dreams.
In her dreams, she sometimes felt like she was basking in the warm sunshine, and sometimes felt like she was falling into an icy cave.
Sometimes I feel happy and excited, sometimes I feel lonely and indescribable.
She kept going back and forth in this complicated dream, and she almost forgot who she was. Some people called her Xing'er, some called her Xingxing, some called her Senior Sister, and only one person kept calling her "Daughter".
grandfather.
She followed the sound to the dog farm, but couldn't find the familiar person.
That old man who is lively, bad-tempered and loves smoking.
She misses home.
During these long years and the vast space and time, he is her only harbor and her home.
But she couldn't find it anymore.
Tears welled up in my eyes.
Warm fingers brushed across her cheek, accompanied by a soft "star".
Her heart suddenly tightened and she woke up.
Although her eyes were filled with tears, she could still see the caring look in the eyes of the person beside the bed.
The scene before he fainted flashed into his mind.
She opened her mouth and asked, "Where is my uncle?"
His voice was extremely hoarse.
Hou Yuan helped her up: "She's not dead, but she's not awake either."
Noticing that the man wanted to sit behind her, she endured the pain and raised her hand to stop him: "I'm fine like this."
Zhu Yuan's body stiffened, and without saying anything, he took out a pillow and placed it behind her, then helped her sit steadily, then lowered his eyes and sat back on the bed.
"...Where's Chen Li?"
"He has been buried." Yuan Yuan took the medicine on the table in his hand and replied calmly.
Xu Xingxing glanced at the medicine: "...How long have I been sleeping?"
Hou Yuan picked up the spoon, scooped a spoonful and put it to her lips, "Exactly the 18th."
Xu Xingxing didn't say anything, just looked at him and said, "Send me back to Kunlun."
Zhu Yuan's hand trembled, and he poured out a little of the medicine. His expression remained unchanged as he replied, "I'll go with you."
"No need." Xu Xingxing refused directly, "I'm going to see my uncle."
After a pause, he added, "I'll be back when he wakes up."
He raised his eyes to look at her, and said in a calm and cruel tone, "He can't wake up."
Xu Xingxing's breathing stopped and tears immediately flowed out.
A trace of pity flashed across Hou Yuan's eyes, but it quickly disappeared: "The black energy has penetrated his heart meridian. The reason he is not dead now is that I kept the black energy in his body, preventing his spiritual power from leaking out. But this is a method of rights and interests. He,
"Not long."
Xu Xingxing felt that the pain in her chest was nothing compared to the pain in her heart. It took her a long time to find her voice: "Is there no way out?"
He raised his hand to wipe her tears, but she dodged him. He didn't get angry, but just curled his fingers slightly and said, "I've sent a lot of medicinal herbs recently. Although they can't cure the disease, they can at least extend his life."
"How long can it be extended?"
"At least two or three months, at most four or five years. It's hard to say. It depends on him." Yu Yuan scooped another spoonful of medicine and passed it to her lips. "Drink it first. It's almost cold."
Xu Xingxing simply ignored this and stubbornly repeated, "I want to go back to Kunlun."
Hou Yuan looked at her for a long time, sighed, and put the spoon back into the bowl. "Now the Kunlun barrier has risen again, and half of the cultivators are surrounding the foot of Taigu Mountain. If it weren't for the demons confronting them, I'm afraid they would have already attacked. If you go back, Xu Yi will lose his restraint and start a war without authorization. Should I fight him?"
Xu Xingxing frowned and said, "Impossible. Kunlun was no match for you even in his heyday, and the difference now is even greater. He wouldn't be so impulsive. Besides, if I go back and talk to him properly, he will definitely withdraw his troops."
Hou Yuan smiled, as if watching a child playing. "Xingxing, you know the deep hatred between Xu Yi and me. Besides, even if you can convince him, will he let you come back? Will you avoid me again and hide again? Will you escape without permission and disappear without a trace? Xingxing, I won't let you go. Don't force me. If you insist on going, I'll accompany you. We can stay there for a while without anyone noticing. This is already my biggest concession."
Xu Xingxing said angrily, "Are you going to lock me up again?"
Yuan looked at her without comment.
That's it.
She didn't want to mention it. She knew it wasn't entirely his fault. It was Chen Li who started it first. But as soon as she thought about the consequence of his action being her uncle's life, she hated him and hated herself even more.
Hate her lack of security awareness and her powerlessness.
I hate that she knew clearly that the devil soul would corrode the human soul, but because Chen Li had lost all his magic power, she took a chance.
She hated the pitiful sympathy she felt because of the illusion, thinking that since she had taken over Xu Xing'er's body, she should respect this elder who treated her best on her behalf.
Who would have thought that Chen Li would become so paranoid and demented.
So, everything started because of her.
Whether it is Cheng Xue or Fang Qi, whether it is Chen Li or Gu Nuo.
It's all because of her.
…It would be better if she died.
She thought about these words over and over in her dreams.
When she saw Cheng Xue and Fang Qi explode into blood, when she fell into nightmares again and again, and now when Chen Li was dead and Gu Nuo was unconscious.
The idea accumulated piece by piece, layer by layer, becoming more and more prosperous until it broke out of the shell.
Yes, if it weren’t for her, Cheng Xue and Fang Qi wouldn’t have died.
If she had been more careful, she would not have been so unguarded against Shen Li because of her compassion, and what happened later would not have happened.
It's all her fault.
It's all her fault.
As she thought this, she looked into the man's eyes and said with a trembling voice: "Yuan Yuan, it would be better if you didn't save me. I should be the one to die."
Hou Yuan's calm expression suddenly broke. He took a deep breath and smiled bitterly: "Xingxing, you always know where to cut."
He placed the medicine bowl heavily on the table, raised his hand to hold her chin, leaned closer to her, and said in a hoarse voice: "When I saw Gu Nuo dodging in front of Shen Li, I knew you would blame me, but I still did it. Let alone those two, even if it was Xu Yi and Yue Baiyin, I would take action without hesitation for even a moment.
"You know how important you are to me, yet you keep sending me away. Every time I see you, you end up bloodied and wounded. Xingxing, tell me, what should I do? Do you know how I felt when you fainted in my arms again? I was merciful by not losing my mind and killing everyone on the scene. Do you still want to force me?"
Xu Xingxing looked at the madness in Zhu Yuan's eyes, endured the pain in her jaw, and tears fell like beads from a broken string:
"But I'm so sad, Hou Yuan. I'm caught between you and Kunlun, between you and the world. I don't care about these things, but more and more lives are hanging between us. First it was Cheng Xue and Fang Qi, and now it's Chen Li and Master. I can't stand it, I really can't stand it, I'm going crazy, I want to go crazy now, I want to accompany Master but you won't let me, so tell me, what can I do? What should I do?"
Hou Yuan's expression calmed down a bit. He rubbed her cheek with his thumb, full of tenderness and affection, but it made Xu Xingxing feel a chill in her heart. "Then I will transform into someone else and go back to Kunlun with you."
It's a good idea.
In the past, she would have agreed, but now, she hesitated.
She had previously attributed the deaths of Cheng Xue and Fang Qi to accidents, but Shen Li's death made her see things clearly.
She couldn't control him at all.
She thought she could restrain his scabbard, but what happened yesterday made her realize that compared to the scabbard, she was more like food in the mouth of this mad beast. Whoever coveted her would show his fangs, and whoever wanted to snatch food from him would immediately expose his bloodthirsty nature.
She couldn't grasp it, nor could she control it.
Perhaps it was her momentary hesitation that made Hou Yuan furious again. His eyes began to gleam with bloodshot. "So, you still want to escape."
Xu Xingxing felt exhausted, her grief transforming into waves of hatred and impatience. She stopped crying and said coldly, "Even if I wanted to escape, so what? Yu Yuan, you were within two feet of me at the time. With your abilities, is killing me the only way? I don't believe it."
Zhu Yuan's eyelashes trembled, but he did not deny it: "So what? I will not let anyone who hurts you go. I have already let her off easily by not cutting her into pieces. Xingxing, do you want to see how Si Dai and Shu Ji are doing now?
The man's voice suddenly dropped, pressing closer to her like a snake spitting out its tongue: "They are in the underground palace at the bottom of this ancient mountain. To this day, they have not yet died."
Xu Xingxing's body suddenly felt cold and goosebumps stood up. Looking at the delicate eyebrows and eyes so close to her, she felt extremely unfamiliar.
But she knew that this was the real him.
The bloodthirsty demon that she could never control.
She felt a chill all over her body, but she still looked straight at him and said, "But Uncle Master didn't hurt me. He saved me from danger time and time again, whether it was when I first came into this world or after I experienced the thunder tribulation in Qingzhou. If it weren't for him, I would have died hundreds of times already!"
Perhaps sensing her trembling, Hou Yuan slid the hand that was gripping her jaw to the back of her neck, gently rubbing it. Although his voice softened, his words remained unquestionable: "I know, but this was his own choice, and he should bear the consequences himself. I had already unleashed my killing move. If I had held it back, I would have been too late to save you. I will not retreat. You can hate me or blame me, but I have no regrets, nor do I feel I was wrong."
Xu Xingxing felt suffocated after hearing this. Tears welled up in her eyes again. She looked at him sadly and said, "You're not asking my uncle to bear the burden, Hou Yuan. You want me to bear it, right?"
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