Chapter 3
"Please, don't leave me alone."
"Are you really okay? Don't you need me to come see you?" On the phone, Tang Ning sounded even more depressed than she was, asking through sobs.
"It's okay, you don't need to come over," Josh said softly, holding the phone to her ear.
"Really not? It's so annoying. I'm really busy lately. My grandma's illness flared up suddenly. Why did everything happen at once..." She suddenly stopped talking, and then said, "Don't keep things to yourself, okay?"
"Yes, I know."
"Alright then, you should get some rest..." Tang Ning gave her a long list of instructions before feeling at ease. Qiao Xi hung up the phone, turned off her phone, tossed it aside, and turned to lie down on her side.
After the incident, Josh didn't tell anyone. He was busy those days and had no time or energy to reply to messages.
Tang Ning noticed that something was wrong with her. After inquiring, she learned about her family situation and, fearing that something might have happened to her, rushed to Qiao Xi's house immediately and stayed with her for several days, guarding her day and night.
It wasn't until a phone call from Tang Ning's mother, saying that Tang Ning's grandmother had suddenly fallen ill and been hospitalized, that she was called back.
Tang Ning has a loud voice, and even though she tried to lower her voice, she could still hear everything that was being said in the extremely quiet room.
“My grandma has so many grandchildren, one more or one less makes no difference. She already dislikes me, so why should I bother to dislike her?”
On the other end of the line, Tang Ning's mother said something that clearly touched a nerve, "What do you mean 'not good'? What's wrong with it? Josh needs me, she only has..."
Josh sighed. She knew that Tang Ning felt sorry for her, but she couldn't let her temper cause another argument with her family. She forced herself to get up and personally persuaded Tang Ning.
Tang Ning then reluctantly decided to go back.
"My mom said it'll be in the next few days. I'll come back to be with you after that. Take good care of yourself."
Josh doesn't remember how she responded. "Are you alright?" she said with a bitter smile. "How could you possibly be alright?"
Josh's house is an old building with no elevator, only stairs, and the sound insulation is very poor.
Whenever someone walks up the stairs, the sound of their footsteps on the steps can be clearly heard. The irritating noise jumps and leaps in every corner of the quiet room, then quickly dissipates, as if the room has been suddenly silenced, eerily quiet.
Josh lay listlessly on the bed, pressing his ears with his arms, closing his eyes, and remained there all day.
Illness comes like a landslide, but recovery is like pulling silk from a cocoon; this time, the illness is dissipating very slowly.
She refused her friends' visits and lay limply on the bed. Her long-empty stomach had been protesting, cramping painfully. She curled up on the bed, pressing her stomach with one hand, and after what seemed like an eternity, Josh drifted off to sleep again, but her sleep was restless.
As evening fell, the crimson sunset shone through the window, bathing her in its soft light.
It made her feel as if she were lying on soft sand.
The soft sand beneath her was slowly sinking, inch by inch engulfing her mouth and nose, gradually covering her entire body. It was pitch black all around, layers of darkness tightly enveloping her, and Josh felt a surge of unease.
But she knew clearly that she was free, and could reach the fresh air with just a reach. Josh clenched her fists, closed her eyes, and let the fine sand cover her, feeling the sand grains covering every inch of her skin, building an invisible cage around her.
She kept having dreams.
She was shaken awake in her dream, and the person pulled her up and dragged her to the sofa. Josh looked up and met a pair of familiar, narrow, almond-shaped eyes.
It's Joey.
Qiao Dacheng is incompetent and useless; his only redeeming quality is his beautiful eyes, which he passed on to Qiao Mai.
But Qiao Mai disliked it, even loathed it. Every time she looked in the mirror, it reminded her of Qiao Dacheng's hideous and fierce appearance. She preferred Josh's eyes, saying that Josh's round eyes were inherited from his mother.
Josh was unsure; she had no recollection of their mother.
In her dream, Josie was scolding her for her willfulness, but the scolding became nourishment, blossoming into flowers and giving birth to hope in Josie's heart.
Josh smiled foolishly.
Seeing this, Qiao Mai looked serious, pinched her face with her cold hand, and asked with some concern, "Are you stupid? What are you grinning about?"
Josh laughed and replied, "It's nothing. Whenever you swear, it reminds me of Qiao Dacheng."
Qiao Mai rolled her eyes at her and shut up.
This was Josh's only weapon to calm Joey's temper flare-up, but as soon as she said it, she regretted it.
Josh is used to Josh talking, and Josh likes Josh talking.
Thinking of this, her heart felt heavy.
Josh watched Qiao Mai's retreating figure silently, her gaze following her as she turned and went into the kitchen. A wave of sadness washed over her, and then her nose stung with tears.
Qiao Mai couldn't help but scold her again, "You're not eating properly again. Irregular eating habits can cause stomach problems, and you'll suffer the consequences."
Hearing this, Josh's body relaxed instantly. She chuckled softly, swallowed her sob, and replied in a half-coquettish tone, "Isn't it because you're taking care of me?"
It seemed that even the air here was moving very slowly, and the sound seemed to be affected. Qiao Mai seemed not to hear her words and did not respond. The surroundings fell silent again.
Josh curled up in a corner of the sofa, hugged his knees, buried his head, and waited patiently.
Until the sound of a cleaver hitting the cutting board came from the kitchen, Josh followed the sound and saw a bright green peek out from beside Joey. Then the sound changed and a sweet aroma wafted by – it was fresh tomatoes.
Josh asked in surprise, "Are you making dumpling soup?"
Qiao Mai didn't answer her question directly. After a while, she placed a bowl of hot dumpling soup on the dining table in the living room, looked at her, and said calmly, "Actually, sooner or later, we will break up."
Upon hearing this, Josh's expression changed, and he silently opened his mouth, eager to refute her.
But Qiao Mai didn't give her a chance to speak. She spoke first, her tone full of apology, "I'm sorry, I was so grateful that you were there when Grandma passed away. If it weren't for you... Please forgive my selfishness, but I want you to live a good life."
Josh's eyes widened. She seemed to understand, yet also seemed not to grasp the deeper meaning behind Josh's words.
The jumbled emotions that had been building up in my chest for so long could no longer be contained, and at this moment they completely erupted. Then, tears fell like beads from a broken string, and my vision quickly blurred.
...
Josh was awakened by the knocking on the door. She opened her eyes groggily and found the room empty, with the last rays of the setting sun already falling on the corner of the bed.
Josh seemed oblivious, her mind churning with past memories. It was as if she had just finished handing in her exam and suddenly realized she had made a mistake on a reading comprehension question. Anxiety and tension made her hold her breath as she began to examine these memories from the beginning, trying to find the details she had missed.
As she pieced together the clues, she seemed to see a different Qiao Mai.
Like a child who had done something wrong, she buried her head between her legs in remorse.
Josh's eyes were swollen like two peach pits. Her cold hands gently pressed against her burning eyelids as she gasped for breath.
Suddenly she realized that she seemed to be wrong; she seemed to have never really understood Qiao Mai.
Her mind was in turmoil. The knocking on the door wouldn't stop, and she couldn't calm down. Josh struggled to sit up, stood there for a moment, and slowly walked out of the bedroom.
Aunt Li, who lives across the street, is outside the door.
Upon seeing her, he looked at her with concern and immediately handed her the bowl in his hand, gently stroking her hand with his warm palm, saying, "We stewed some meat at home, and brought you some."
The overflowing aroma of meat wafted into his nostrils, awakening his slightly sluggish soul. Josh managed a weak smile and offered his thanks.
Then Aunt Li said, "When I came out, I saw this child lingering in front of your house. I asked him what he wanted, but he wouldn't say anything." As she spoke, she pulled the child out from behind her and said, "Take a look, do you know him? Don't tell me he's a thief."
Aunt Li, with her slightly plump figure, moved aside, revealing the person hiding behind her.
Seeing Chen Zhiyu hiding behind Aunt Li with his head bowed low, Qiao Xi was taken aback. "I know him."
Aunt Li didn't delve into the matter, but gave her a final reminder before saying goodbye: "By the way, recently there have been a lot of minors wandering around this area, taking advantage of their young age to frequently smash other people's car windows and steal things."
"It's so frustrating, there's nothing we can do about them, and calling the police doesn't help either."
"The security in our neighborhood isn't great, so please make sure to lock your doors and windows. Remember to contact us if anything happens." After giving these instructions, he left.
Watching Aunt Li close the door and return to her own home, Qiao Xi's expression immediately changed. She turned around and went back to the living room, and Chen Zhiyu obediently followed her in.
Josh put down his bowl, sat down on the sofa, rubbed his swollen eyes, and asked, "How did you find my house?"
Chen Zhiyu slowly approached her, stammering out an honest reply, "I've been here before."
Josh felt a sudden pang of pain in his heart and immediately remembered that Joe had brought him here a few times before.
"How did you get here? By taxi?"
"I walked here," Chen Zhiyu said.
The two residential areas are far apart, requiring a long walk. Even though the hottest time of the month has passed, the weather in June is still sultry, even in the evenings.
Josh's voice was slightly tense as he said softly, "Why bother?"
Chen Zhiyu didn't say anything, but took a step and carefully moved closer to her.
As he got closer, Josh could clearly see the sweat on his cheeks, and his dark eyes seemed to be filled with mist, making them particularly dazzling.
Josh's tone suddenly turned cold. "I've said it before, I can't take care of you."
"But you're all I have left," Chen Zhiyu pleaded in a hoarse voice.
Josh was also seething with anger, wondering why Chen Zhiyu had become so attached to her. She questioned him, "Are you trying to morally blackmail me?"
Chen Zhiyu, his face pale, frantically denied, "I didn't! Please, let me follow you, I'll be very obedient, and I'll repay you properly in the future."
“No need,” Josh interrupted him firmly. “The best way you can repay me is for us to stop seeing each other from now on.”
Please don't send me away.
“I still have to go to school, I don’t have time to take care of you.” Josh suppressed her temper, her tone softened, and she tried to reason with him. “I will try to resolve the factory issue.”
"It's not for that. I can live on campus. I won't bother you at all," Chen Zhiyu pleaded. "Please, don't leave me alone."
These words were like a sharp blade piercing through her body.
She is also a person.
Josh flew into a rage, "Then I ask you, who caused this? Was it me? By what right? Why? Why are you blaming me!"
Like the last straw that broke the camel's back.
"Why!" Josh broke down, shouting hoarsely. The emotions and doubts that had been building up for days suddenly found an outlet. She vented her grievances, her whole body trembling. "What about me? My only family is gone. What am I supposed to do?"
The furious questioning echoed in the quiet room, and the reverberation then pierced her like a boomerang.
She was like a tire that had burst, ruthlessly abandoned by the roadside, all alone, watching her loved ones leave her one by one.
Josh's eyes were red, her head was spinning, and her voice gradually lowered, her words sounding like a self-criticism. She was caught in a vicious cycle, at a loss. "How am I supposed to know what to do next? I don't know what to do next either."
Suddenly, her knees buckled, and she looked down to meet a pair of dark eyes filled with a devout longing.
The words of refusal caught in her throat, and the next second, the owner of the dark eyes pleaded softly, "Sister, please don't leave me."
Chen Zhiyu held onto Qiao Xi's clothes tightly, unwilling to let go.
"I don't need you to pay back the money my brother owes. I know it's my brother's fault. I just beg you to let me stay. I can cook for you and do housework. Please, don't leave me alone anymore."
Josh felt a pang of sadness, as if something had touched her heart. She turned her head to look out the window; the setting sun outside was scorching hot, its blinding rays painting half the sky red.
Josh stared for a long time, her eyes burning from the scorching sunset. She closed her eyes briefly, and tears rolled down her cheeks uncontrollably.
Chen Zhiyu stared at her blankly as hot tears splattered onto his face. His eyelids twitched uncontrollably, and large tears gathered on his face, feeling a fine, itchy sensation, yet also burning like fire.
He couldn't bear to wipe it off.
After all, this was the only warmth he could ask for.
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