Chapter 2
"There is no further."
Since Chen Zhiyu can remember, Chen Zhibin has been his only relative.
They lived in a bungalow area. When Chen Zhibin was still in school, he often left his young son Chen Zhiyu with the neighbors and asked them to take care of him. Later, when Chen Zhibin dropped out of school early to work, it was the same thing.
Every day, after dropping Chen Zhiyu off, when they return, they often bring a bag of food and supplies to give to the neighbors who helped take care of him as a way of expressing their gratitude.
Four or five-year-old Chen Zhiyu was still very young. Every day, he would look out the neighbor's window with longing eyes, hoping to see his older brother soon. He would wait all day long.
Every time I waited until it got dark, I would fall asleep.
As evening or later, I would always be held in someone's arms while I was asleep, and then I would be in a familiar embrace.
The faint smell of tobacco was not pleasant, but it was very distinctive. Chen Zhiyu squinted and, relying on his intuition, reached out his chubby little hand to instinctively grab the chest of the person who was hugging him, clutching that tiny bit of fabric, and softly called out, "Brother."
The sweet, childlike voice carried a calming quality, instantly softening one's heart and making the day's fatigue vanish in that instant. Chen Zhibin raised one eyebrow and happily responded, deliberately bouncing his arms around him upwards, "Come on, let's go home."
Summer temperatures are very high, even at night.
Chen Zhibin was dressed very lightly, and the sound of his youthful heartbeat echoed incessantly in Chen Zhiyu's ears, like a rattle that never stopped shaking.
Rhythmically, regularly.
Chen Zhiyu was held firmly in his arms, which felt very comfortable. He rubbed his forehead forward slightly, touching the slightly firm flesh.
The extremely short stubble made Chen Zhibin's chest feel both prickly and itchy, and he couldn't help but chuckle softly, causing his chest to vibrate.
Chen Zhiyu's face went numb. Before he could dodge, he realized that something had been stuffed into his hand.
When Chen Zhiyu returned home and slowly woke up, he opened his eyes to find a hard candy with filling lying in his palm.
Unwrapping the candy, the sweet aroma of fruit filled the air. Chen Zhiyu carefully sucked on it, as if it were a precious treasure, but in the end, the candy quickly melted in his mouth.
The rich filling quickly spread in his mouth, sweet and delicious.
Before going to bed, Chen Zhiyu was asked to rinse his mouth. Reluctant to leave the lingering sweetness in his mouth, he awkwardly shuffled along, taking a long time to finally reach the bathroom door.
When Chen Zhibin finished tidying up the bedding and came over with a cigarette in his mouth, he saw this scene through the swirling smoke.
Chen Zhibin squinted and chuckled, knowing at a glance what the little brat was thinking. He swaggered over, kicked off his slippers, and lightly kicked the boy's bottom with the back of his foot, urging him sternly with a muffled urge, "Hurry up!"
Chen Zhiyu's short legs forced him to take two unsteady steps as he was pushed into the bathroom. He pouted in dissatisfaction but had no choice but to comply.
Then, Chen Zhibin's loud voice rang out again, "I'll buy it for you tomorrow!"
They were fed up with being broke, but Chen Zhibin told them that life would only get better.
And that was indeed the case. From then on, every day, Chen Zhiyu's hands were filled not only with candy, but also with ice cream, sausages, and so on.
Later, his brother took him away from their previous rented place and they moved into a better one. The place had underfloor heating, so they no longer needed hand warmers or electric blankets in the winter.
Time flies, but Chen Zhibin's words remain etched in his mind.
Life is getting better and better.
But this beautiful moment ended a month ago.
He could hear Chen Zhibin and Qiao Mai arguing every night, and from their conversations, he knew that his brother had done something wrong.
Chen Zhiyu closed his eyes, and the sound of the rattle drum was no longer ringing in his ears. The sweet candies and delicious snacks were no longer in his dreams.
There was only endless arguing.
Later, his memories were all of that calm lake.
The short Chen Zhiyu squeezed into the crowd, head tilted back, bathed in the night, and no one noticed him, not even Josh.
Chen Zhiyu's gaze was fixed on Qiao Xi's lonely figure.
She stood there all alone, the thick night blending seamlessly with the boundless lake, as if the endless darkness was about to swallow her whole. Everything around her seemed to create a deep barrier between them.
The heavy moonlight fell, casting an even lonelier shadow beneath her. The summer night breeze blew, and the dark shadow swayed tremblingly.
He followed behind her the whole time, but she seemed not to notice his presence.
She simply didn't notice his presence.
*
Josh was awakened by the heat, feeling as if a hot boulder was pressing down on him.
The cold, glaring incandescent light filled the already small room. She blinked slowly until the faint light disappeared completely from her eyes.
Even after she woke up, her head still ached, and her whole body felt as if it had been bound. Aches and pains filled her muscles, and her calves were cramping.
Josh rubbed his aching temples, forced himself to sit up, squinted, and looked around.
She found herself lying on a single bed, covered by a blanket with childish cartoon patterns, the wrinkled monkey's funny smiling face facing her.
Josh touched the quilt. The room was stuffy and poorly ventilated, and the quilt looked like it was from winter.
A desk stood beside the bed. Josh turned his head to look out the window, where a few lights flickered in the darkness.
Where am I? My mind is still foggy and I haven't quite woken up yet.
Her throat felt like it had a razor blade in it; it was dry and painful. Josh coughed lightly with difficulty, causing her vocal cords to vibrate, making the stinging sensation even more pronounced.
Josh frowned slightly, trying hard to recall.
Rewinding to the afternoon at the funeral home, Josh followed Chen Zhiyu home; she had come to collect Qiao Mai's belongings.
And then? She pressed her forehead, trying to recall.
There were two knocks, and the door opened.
Josh looked up in surprise.
After a hoarse response, the door to the room was cautiously opened a crack, and then a small head peeked in.
The first thing that caught Josh's eye was those dark eyes. When their gazes met, she could clearly feel the other person's pupils tremble.
Josh stared at him silently.
Chen Zhiyu dragged his feet, mustered his courage, and walked in. He then moved step by step to her bedside, lowered his head, and whispered, "Sister."
The sound was so faint it was like the buzzing of a mosquito.
Josh glared at him coldly, the pain squeezing her head again. She closed her eyes, turned her head away from him, and said in a hoarse voice, "Don't call me sister, I'm not your sister."
The bedroom suddenly became extremely quiet, with white noise filling every corner of the air. Josh closed his eyes and continued to recall. He had originally planned to follow him back here to retrieve Qiao Mai's things, but as soon as he sat on the sofa, he fell into a deep sleep.
I don't know how someone so small managed to drag themselves to the bedroom, or where they got a winter blanket from to cover themselves. Josh was covered in sweat and felt uncomfortable all over.
The feeling of restlessness and depression in my heart intensified.
She knew she shouldn't blame a child who was unrelated to her. What Chen Zhibin did had nothing to do with him, and it was her sister who drove the car into the crash.
But when people are in extreme grief, they lose their rationality and resent not others, but themselves.
And she is a selfish person.
"Your body temperature is 37.2 degrees Celsius."
The coolness on her forehead was fleeting, and the icy electronic voice interrupted her reverie. Josh turned her head in disbelief.
Chen Zhiyu was holding an electronic thermometer in his hand, his head was down, his long eyelashes cast shadows under his eyes, his lips were slightly pursed, and his brows were tightly furrowed, making him look like a little adult.
Then, she heard the other person say in a childish voice that hadn't yet broken down, but with a slightly mature tone, "Thank goodness, the fever has gone down."
Josh hesitated, opening his mouth slightly, "You..."
Chen Zhiyu's shoulders slumped, and his previously tense voice relaxed a bit. He raised his head, his clear eyes fixed on her, "I made a meal, eat some while it's hot."
"You...you can cook?"
*
Looking at the steaming bowl of noodles on the table, which was handmade, Josh took a deep breath, then looked at the boy who was barely up to her chest, and asked in surprise, "Did you make this?"
Chen Zhiyu pulled up a chair, placed it next to her, and nodded.
Josh sat down.
Josh hadn't had a hot meal in a long time. Even though it was just a simple bowl of stir-fried noodles, a sip of hot soup immediately made her feel better. She picked up another bite of noodles, and found them to be chewy and surprisingly delicious.
Seeing Chen Zhiyu staring at her, Qiao Xi took the initiative to start a conversation, "Where have you been these past few days?"
From the time of the accident until the funeral, Josh was busy and didn't notice him.
Chen Zhiyu said softly, "I've always been by your side."
Josh paused in her chopsticks, recalling everything that had happened in the past few days, trying to find his figure. After a long while, she whispered, "I'm sorry."
Seeing Josh's reaction, Chen Zhiyu's eyes widened, and he shook his head in a panic.
Seeing that Qiao Xi's attitude towards him had softened, Chen Zhiyu boldly pushed the stir-fried vegetables in front of her. Qiao Xi didn't bother to argue with him, picked up a bite, and finding it quite tasty, casually asked, "Do you usually cook?"
"No, sometimes when they're busy, they give me money to buy food. Later, I learned to cook for myself."
Josh slowed his chewing and fell silent.
Every conversation between the two inevitably touches on sensitive topics, and each sudden outburst of shock leaves them battered and bruised. Aside from that, all that remains is silence.
Josh gave a soft "hmm" and didn't say anything more.
After that, the meal was tasteless. Josh's mind was in turmoil, and her thoughts were a jumbled mess. After she put down her chopsticks, Chen Zhiyu rushed to wash the dishes.
Josh couldn't persuade him otherwise, so he had no choice but to let him have his way.
The child happily carried the bowl, and a voice came from the kitchen, "You're sick, you should rest. I've thought it all out, I'll cook, and I'll try not to trouble you. From now on..."
Chen Zhiyu's incessant chatter, accompanied by the clear sound of the dishes being washed, could be heard.
Josh lowered her head and stared at a corner of the dining table for a long time. Chen Zhiyu envisioned a future with the two of them, but she was only thinking about where they would go.
Without the connection between Qiao Mai and Chen Zhibin, the two of them would not have crossed paths. She had neither the energy nor the obligation to do more; she had her own considerations.
So before she could change her mind, she stopped him in time, "Chen Zhiyu".
The sound of running water in the kitchen stopped. Chen Zhiyu turned around, staring blankly at her, his bright smile instantly freezing on his face.
Josh's eyes darted away. She took a breath and earnestly advised, "We each have our own lives. Take care of yourself from now on." She took a deep breath and forced herself to continue, "If you ever need anything, you can come to me."
She will try to resolve the troubles left behind by those two, but that's not a reason for them to become a bond.
Chen Zhiyu immediately understood what Qiao Xi meant, but didn't know how to respond. When he spoke again, his voice became somewhat hoarse, "Sister."
Painful memories are like salt stains left on the beach after the tide has receded. The waves keep rolling and swirling, leaving more and more in her mind. Each "sister" is like a tiny needle pricking her.
Josh closed her eyes and her voice turned cold. "Don't call me sister. Although Qiao Mai and Chen Zhibin are a couple, we have no relationship."
Then, staring intently at him, she emphasized, "There's no going back."
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