Chapter 42: A Brief Account of the Dog Emperor's Atrocities
A serious illness came on quickly, and during my time in the Purple Palace, I was extremely depressed, so depressed that I even felt physical pain.
Doctor Fan didn't have any immediate solution for this, he just told me to rest more, read more relaxing legendary picture books, and relax.
But after all these bad things happened to me, I have developed a psychological trauma towards the legendary picture book. I want to hang myself just by glancing at it.
After Li Siyan learned about it, he sent me a large number of books, covering everything from astronomy to geography, for me to pass the time.
Of course, he did not forget the purpose of bringing me into the palace. Along with a bunch of elegant words and books of sages, he also sent a batch of fresh fire avoidance maps and told me to study them well.
Without hesitation I threw the pictures into the fire.
After I calmed down and thought about it, I felt that he might not really be that keen on this matter, but just liked to see me angry and helpless.
I scratched my head in frustration. What's going on? Do I look good when I'm angry? I don't think so.
In addition to regretting my mistakes, I was also constantly worried about the people and things outside the palace. I asked Li Siyan several times in a roundabout way how Xiaochuan and Meng Xu were doing. He always answered that they were fine, but when I saw a hint of depression between his eyebrows, I knew that it was definitely not everything he wanted.
Xiaochuan is so stubborn, can he really accept Li Siyan's arrangement and continue to study at the Imperial College with peace of mind? I don't think so.
Not to mention Meng Xu, I don't even dare to imagine how twisted he can be.
But no one was willing to tell me news about them, so I could only get up in the middle of the night and eavesdrop on Suxi and Huiyue's conversation, trying to find out what was going on outside. From them, I roughly knew about Xiaochuan's recent situation.
When Su Xi was talking about the imperial examination this autumn, he accidentally mentioned that Shen Niangzi's younger brother was still studying in the Imperial College, but was unwilling to take the imperial examination.
My first reaction was to rush out of the palace and beat up Ogawa's head.
Her second reaction was to sigh deeply like a worried old mother, then lie back on the bed and chant the most vicious curse to curse Li Siyan to die young.
This person seemed to be sent down by God to punish our Shen family. Three generations of our family, old, middle-aged and young, have all suffered greatly from him, and no one has been spared.
I chanted vicious curses countless times in my heart, and suddenly heard light footsteps approaching behind me. I was startled and rolled over twice to sit up, looking at the person vigilantly.
Moonlight shone through the gaps in the window panes and hit Li Siyan, who was wearing loose silk pajamas and standing not far in front of me.
Seeing me sit up, he was startled for a moment, a little embarrassed, touched his nose and said, "You're not asleep?"
I said, "What are you doing here?"
Li Siyan didn't answer. He walked forward and pulled aside the bed curtains. Under my frightened gaze, he leaned forward and said, "This is my bed. I'm back to rest."
I watched him take off his shoes and get on the bed. I was so scared that the hairs on my body stood up. I clutched the quilt tightly and shrank into the corner, saying in fear, "You, you, you... don't come over here! I'm not well yet! I... I had my period today. No! Absolutely not!"
Li Siyan glanced at me lazily. I only felt the sleeves of fine silk as smooth as water flash in front of me, and he grabbed me and the blanket back to his side. He was very close to me, and the heat of his body ironed my shoulders through the thin shirt.
I felt like I was stung by a bee, and I crawled out. Li Siyan didn't hold me tightly, and I fell off the bed with a thud, landing on my face.
"Stupid." He laughed at me, grabbing my ankles and pulling me back onto the bed.
I started to cry, tears and snot falling down together: "I'm not lying to you, I really have my period, please let me go today, I am already yours, you can do whatever you want in the future, please, I don't want tonight..."
"What are we doing tonight?" Li Siyan pulled me into his arms and pinched the tip of my nose: "Did we do it to you?"
My tears fell even harder, but I didn't dare hit him, so I just cried breathlessly and hugged myself into a round ball, hoping that this would dispel his dangerous thoughts.
Li Siyan looked at me crying, and said with a half-smile, "Tell me, why are you not sleeping so late at night? Are you waiting for me to come?"
The voice sounded quite pleasant.
I keenly sensed the possibility of escaping this disaster, so I immediately sobbed and pretended to be pitiful: "I have a headache and can't sleep."
"Didn't you take the medicine that Old Man Fan gave you?"
He held me in his arms, raised one hand to catch my tears, and placed his other hand gently on my back.
After maintaining this position for a while, he still felt it was not enough, so he put his arm around my bony waist and pressed it against his abdomen.
I quickly added, "My shoulder hurts too," trying to awaken his tiny conscience.
However, Li Siyan had no intention of letting me go and still held me tightly in his arms.
I recently discovered that he likes physical contact very much, especially likes to touch and hold me like a kitten, as if the feeling of skin touching can fill the void of anxiety in his heart.
"Does your shoulder hurt?" He loosened my grip a little and reached out to pull the collar of my pajamas: "...Let me see."
Feeling his gaze fixed on the small piece of my exposed skin, my expression became humiliated as if I were being tortured.
"Liar," Li Siyan said calmly after watching for a while, "You're still crying out in pain even after the scabs have fallen off. Are you trying to fool me?"
I defended myself, "I'm not lying. This injury has damaged my bones. They feel uncomfortable when it rains."
He didn't seem to want to discuss with me whether the wound was real or not. His fingers slowly slid to the side and landed on my prickly little shoulder.
I've lost a lot of weight recently, so I guess my hands don't feel very good.
Just when I was about to exaggerate how serious my injury was, Li Siyan suddenly leaned over and gently kissed my wound.
I had never seen such a scene before, and I subconsciously let out a scream of terror.
Li Siyan was well prepared and covered my mouth accurately.
"You have to get used to it. I'm different from Meng Xu. He is a gentleman and can resist touching you, but I'm not," he said.
I'm about to collapse. Damn, don't I know you're a bandit? But even the most unpicky bandit wouldn't force a sickly person with menstrual bleeding to eat!
His kiss slowly moved up, up, to my neck, lingered for a moment beside the throbbing blood vessels, and then kissed my ear. The hot and moist breath rushed out, and my ear felt numb and itchy.
I felt like I had lost all desire to live, like a chicken leg being gnawed on. I made up my mind and just sat there straight, letting him kiss me as he pleased.
Finding me so obedient, Li Siyan felt so happy that his whole body almost overflowed. He was not as rough with me as before, but more cautious, as if he was afraid of hurting me.
"You're so thin," he whispered, "You'd better gain some weight."
"I'll eat it tomorrow." I said with difficulty, "Since I've upset His Majesty, why not let me go tonight?"
Li Siyan bit my ear, and his uncombed hair fell down and intertwined with mine. His voice came from behind the two overlapping hairs: "...When did I say I would have sex with you tonight?"
My mouth opened into a stupid shape. “So what are you doing here?”
He said, "Come and touch the pet I raise."
When I heard that he just wanted to kiss and nibble on me, I immediately breathed a sigh of relief and collapsed completely: "You...you scared me to death."
Li Siyan pinched my mouth again: "Don't say the word death again."
I obeyed and said, "Okay."
I didn't dare disobey. Although Li Siyan said he would not touch me tonight, his body was very honest.
There was also a green light in his eyes, and he looked at me like a hungry wolf, staring at the lambs in the sheepfold.
My scalp tingled from being stared at, and I hugged the quilt and curled up into a ball again.
After a long time, he finally looked away, probably thinking that the lamb was too small and it would be better to wait until it was fattened before eating it.
"Don't look at me," he said lazily. "What if I get angry from staring at you? All my crying and fussing all night will be wasted."
My face wrinkled in worry again - he didn't seem to want to leave.
"Go to sleep. I have to go to court tomorrow morning." He pulled me over and said, "Meng Xu's transfer will be announced tomorrow. It's to Yangzhou, a great place I carefully selected for him."
I didn't want to offend him, so I carefully chose my words and said the nice things Li Siyan wanted to hear, "...He and I have nothing to do with each other anymore. It doesn't matter where he goes. I can only wish him good luck in his career."
Sure enough, after my careful coaxing, although Li Siyan didn't necessarily believe it, he still showed a visible smile, kissed me again and said, "That's good."
After confirming that he was in a genuinely good mood, I pursed my lips and thought for a moment before asking him, "Your Majesty, when Xiaochuan takes the imperial examination next year, will you give him a backdoor?"
Li Siyan tilted his head to glance at me, then held me in his arms again, lying on the soft pillow and said, "You want me to open the backdoor? Are you bribing me with sex?"
I said, "No, I'm not a great beauty... I just wanted to see if I have the face to do it... Even if you have a pet, you can't not give it any benefits..."
In fact, what I said was very against my will. It was not something I could say at all. I went around in circles and hinted at it just to ask Ogawa whether he was really determined not to pursue a career in politics.
Li Siyan said calmly: "Of course you have the face."
I was silent for a moment, took a deep breath, and pulled my hair back, thinking of asking in a more direct way...
"You want to ask about your brother, right?" The gentle joy in his eyes had long since disappeared, and his cold gaze fell on my face: "Didn't I tell you? He's fine. As for whether he can take the imperial examination or not, Chen Ying, that's not your concern."
I lowered my head: "But he is my brother...I can't just ignore him."
Li Siyan said: "If you want him to be an official, I have plenty of ways to make him do it. You are in my hands, and I only need to coerce him a little, and he will naturally obey."
There's no more chatting today.
In Li Siyan's view, family affection is just something that he can use. If he can force me to submit, he can use me to force Xiaochuan to become an official. It all depends on his will.
The ice jar melted quietly. The summer night in Chang'an was so hot that it made me dizzy. In such hot weather, he still held me stubbornly, his strong arms clasped around my waist, closed his eyes and said, "Sleep."
I whispered, "You're holding on too tight. It's hot."
"Can't sleep? Then get up and do something to help you sleep." He reached out and tugged at my belt.
I was shocked: "Go to sleep now!"
Li Siyan is very good at forcing people to listen to him. I think this is a talent for an emperor. I slept in his arms all night, and it was not until I woke up the next day that I figured out something was wrong: How could I have ended up sleeping in the same bed with him without knowing why?
It was so weird. I spent most of the morning thinking hard and finally figured out Li Siyan's method. Generally speaking, it was to use intimidation first and then inducement, plus intermittent sweet treats.
I had just finished drinking the honey water brought by Huiyue when Li Siyan's candied dates came raining down on me. Qingfu led people and brought me a large pile of rewards, which were packed in boxes of various sizes and piled up as high as half a person.
"What is this?" I asked Huiyue, pointing to one of the flat boxes.
There was a long string of Sanskrit characters engraved on the box, which looked strange.
Huiyue carefully opened it for me, took a look, and said respectfully, "To answer Madam Shen, this is a spice from India."
I leaned over to smell it, then shrank back, covering my nose: "This smells terrible."
Hui Yue closed the box again and said after a moment of silence, "...If I remember correctly, this spice was a tribute from India last year. There is only this one box in the entire Forbidden City."
I sighed, "Luckily, there's only one box. If everyone in the palace were to light incense with this scent, life would be unbearable."
Seeing Huiyue looking constipated, I went to open other boxes and saw one by one: a statue of the fairy Chang'e carved out of top-grade jade, a huge golden peach, a rhinoceros horn comb as red as gold, and several exquisite hand warmers... Most of them were rare treasures tributed from below, and at least they were fine products from the official kiln.
"Huiyue," I said, holding up a beautiful red coral bracelet, "Do you think this counts as the money he gave me?"
Hui Yue's hands trembled violently, and her voice changed: "... Madam Shen, how could you think like this? This is a token of His Majesty's goodwill..."
Thoughts?
Is it kindness to catch a nice bird in a golden cage and then give it water, rice and shiny pebbles?
I feel so absurd and feel that everything that has happened recently has made me at a loss. It seems that my life has been kidnapped by a wild horse that has broken free from its reins. The horse is running around the world with its hooves spread out, and I am being dragged up mountains and down seas.
Lying back on Li Siyan's dragon couch in a daze, I stared blankly at the small scented ball hanging on the top of the tent. The wound where Li Siyan kissed me last night began to hurt slightly. I glanced out the window and saw that dark clouds had blocked the sunlight. The sky was as dark as iron and lead, and heavy rain was coming again.
Hui Yue noticed that my eyes were dull and she called me softly, “Madam Shen?”
I managed to come back to my senses: "What's wrong?"
Hui Yue said, "...a female official from the Shang Gong Bureau will come to teach you later. I'm informing you in advance..."
"Shang Gong Bureau?" I didn't react for a moment and frowned, "Are you here to teach me the rules?"
Huiyue didn't say anything, her face slightly red.
Seeing her shy face and the look of not knowing how to start, my mind exploded and my face turned pale.
The Shanggong Bureau not only teaches rules and etiquette, but also teaches people how to behave properly.
Looking at those glittering golden rewards, I feel like there is something stuck in my throat.
──As expected, there are no candied dates for no reason in this world. They must be exchanged for something of equal value.
A surge of insatiable rage suddenly surged within me. I'd rather he'd forced me like he did in the beginning than just give me these euphemistic compensations. Just looking at those things made me sick. What the hell? A turban from a wealthy patron from Beili?
Bang! I was so angry that I grabbed a scent ball and threw it out. Huiyue took a step forward hesitantly. I pointed at the door and told her to go out and not to disturb me.
Huiyue is a smart person. When she saw that I was angry, she bowed slightly and left neatly.
After the palace door closed, the bedroom returned to deathly silence, with only the faint sound of wind blowing through the bamboo forest outside the window. I breathed deeply, trying my best to calm myself, listening to the elegant sound of the summer wind blowing the leaves. My anger gradually faded away, replaced by overwhelming sadness.
He is the emperor, and he holds the lives and property of the people I care about in his hands. How can I resist? Besides... he has such a short patience.
But even though I knew clearly about my situation, I still felt awkward and sad.
Later, the female official who taught human affairs that Huiyue had mentioned arrived at the hour of Wei, bringing a set of lifelike clay dolls of fighting fairies and several fire-avoiding maps. She sat down and explained everything to me in detail. Every time she spoke, I nodded in agreement, without any emotion in her voice.
The female official looked at me in surprise, probably because it was the first time she saw a student with such a calm reaction.
In the evening, Li Siyan moved his official business to the bedroom to handle it. As soon as he entered the room, he saw me sitting on the ground in a daze like a stone statue, with a natural history book spread out in front of me, and broken bottles and jars lying at my feet. I looked like a dull and stupid bird.
Li Siyan said nothing, narrowed his eyes and observed me for a while, then suddenly said, "What are you doing here? Come here and help me undress."
I closed the book and stood up shakily, revealing the plump white silk stockings under my skirt. Li Siyan's eyes moved downwards, his eyebrows almost immediately wrinkled, and he shouted again: "Stand still."
I stood obediently where I was, watching him call Huiyue over and scold her coldly, saying that she didn't clean up the broken things and what's the use of her. Huiyue took it all in silence and bent down to pick up the broken pieces one by one.
Guilt washed over me, and I whispered, "I'm sorry."
I wanted to help her pick up the debris, but Li Siyan said coldly: "Stop, I didn't raise you to pick up trash."
"Come and help me undress."
He emphasized three times that I should change his clothes, and only then did I mechanically turn my head to see what he was wearing.
There is a grand court meeting today. He is wearing a twelve-chapter robe embroidered with golden dragons, and his belt is decorated with gold and jade, jewels and precious stones. It is extremely gorgeous and grand, as if he is intentionally showing off his power to me.
I stood in front of him, my height barely reaching his shoulders. In contrast to Li Siyan's complacency, I was self-destructive and depressed today. Compared with him, I was like a hapless swallow snatched away by a hawk.
Seeing my dazed look, he also realized that something was wrong with me today. His brows were tightly knitted into a knot, and his eyes became more and more unfriendly.
After staring at the ferocious golden dragon for a while, I lowered my head and opened the jade buckle on his belt.
Li Siyan's face lightened slightly.
However, untying the belt was only the first step. The Twelve Chapters of the Emperor were very complicated. I circled around it twice but still couldn't find the right place to start. In the end, I could only pick a belt and pull it... and I forcibly turned the loose knot into a tight knot.
"Let Huiyue do it. I don't know how to do this..." I said dejectedly.
Li Siyan didn't comment, loosening his collar. He then pinched my face, looked at it from left to right, and asked, "What's wrong with you today? You're angry and dazed. Tell me, what are you thinking about?"
I looked back at Huiyue, who turned around silently and gave me a nonchalant look from her back.
She is the senior palace maid brought by Li Siyan from the Qiandi Palace. She is highly valued by Li Siyan. This time she was sent to my side. On the surface, she is serving me, but in fact, she is monitoring my every move on behalf of Li Siyan.
So nothing I do or say escapes Li Siyan's eyes.
So, I didn't want to beat around the bush and answered directly: "...I don't want those things of yours. Looking at them always makes me feel quite lowly, like those whores in Ling..."
I paused and continued, "Besides, you clearly knew that I knew how to do that, so why did you send a female official to humiliate me?"
After hearing my accusation, he chuckled, ruffled my hair and said, "Just for this?"
Li Siyan waved Hui Yue away, untying the belt of his imperial robe while casually saying, "You are really hard to please, and you are so thin-skinned. You always feel wronged and humiliated. Do you know how many people outside are crying and shouting to suffer this kind of humiliation?"
I said, "Why don't you go find them?"
"They are not as interesting as you," Li Siyan casually hung the clothes on the high rack:
"Don't keep imagining things. I gave you things because I thought you were too frugal with your spending and it brought shame upon the Purple Palace. As for that female official in the Shanggong Bureau, if you don't like her, just kick her out. Didn't you always do that in the past? Why are you so timid now?"
I was shocked. "You want me to dismiss the ladies-in-waiting at will? But didn't you say you would cut off Xiaochuan's fingers if I didn't obey?"
Li Siyan frowned and looked at me: "Did you burn out your brain a while ago? You are my person, just listen to me. I don't care whether you listen to the Shanggong Bureau or not."
I blinked and asked tentatively, "Are you serious?"
Li Siyan asked strangely, "What's wrong with you today?" He reached out and touched my forehead: "...Are you sick again?"
I quickly said, "Then you can replace me with Xiao Jinlian and Xiao Jinliu to serve me."
"Why did you suddenly think of changing people? Did Huiyue offend you?" There was a hint of sharpness in his eyes.
I quickly explained, "No, she's very good, but new clothes are not as good as old people. I still prefer someone I know to serve me closely."
Hearing the words "people are not as good as before", Li Siyan laughed contemptuously.
I didn't realize I'd said the wrong thing, but I felt his expression was off again. I dropped my hand in confusion and said anxiously, "...Isn't it okay?"
"Of course I can." Li Siyan smiled, but his eyes were icy. "It's better to be with someone than to be with them. How about I call Meng Xu back for you and cut him into pieces and send him in to serve you? What do you think?"
A gust of wind blew through the hall, and the temperature in the hall dropped a few degrees because of Li Siyan's sudden anger. I couldn't help but shudder: "...I didn't mean that! I...I'm just used to them. Why are you suddenly bringing up Meng Xu? What does it have to do with him!"
"When I mention him, you get so anxious." He sneered again, "People are not as good as they used to be? I don't believe that."
I couldn't communicate, I really couldn't communicate. The nerves in my head were throbbing, and I thought I might as well get sick again.
Negotiating with Li Siyan always makes me feel like I'm talking at cross purposes. I can't hear when he's being sarcastic, but he can figure out eighteen layers of meaning from my casual words. For an emperor, his mind is smaller than a needle tip. How can this be?
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