Chapter 54 Sleepwalking
Li Siyan was busy dealing with the snow disaster, so I found an opportunity and asked him to send a small gift to the Queen as a reward for the book she had given me before.
The reason was very legitimate, so Li Siyan agreed without thinking too much.
Compared with other women in his harem, he was not so wary of Wen Baibi. I asked him why, and Li Siyan answered me calmly: Because the queen has brains.
She is smart, so she doesn't have any extra thoughts about her husband. She just treats marriage as a lifelong job and she will just fool around when necessary.
Li Siyan has a strange preference for cold women. It can only be said that human nature is despicable.
Wen Baibi was not expecting my sudden arrival and was caught off guard for a moment, but she soon calmed down and invited me to go to the garden to see the flowers and talk to me while we looked.
I glanced at Huiyue and felt that it was not a good idea. This girl has very sharp ears and can always hear the whispers of the palace maids. If she overheard my conversation with Wen Baibi, then I don’t have to think about how to escape. I can just wash my neck and wait for death.
So I enthusiastically asked to visit the Queen's small Buddhist temple. Wen Baibi's eyes darkened and he immediately understood what I meant. He used the excuse that the Buddhist temple was a quiet place and it was inconvenient for outsiders to come in, and stopped Huiyue outside the door.
We sat down in the Buddhist hall, talking about Buddhism, but actually writing and talking with our hands. After reading each piece of paper, we threw it into the incense burner and burned it. We burned dozens of pieces of incense paper back and forth.
The way she chose for me to die was to be burned to death.
This woman had a mysterious obsession with arson. Perhaps it was because she didn't set the fire well enough last time and failed to escape successfully, so she was holding back her determination and had to do it again.
Regardless of the feasibility of the plan, just looking at his personality, he is really like my brother.
"This year, heavy snow fell in the Huaibei region, bringing disharmony between heaven and earth. The emperor, feeling proud and arrogant, will definitely go to Mount Tai to offer sacrifices to the gods next spring." Wen Baibi told me, "Fengshan requires fasting, so he won't be bringing his concubines with him. The two months the emperor is away from the capital will be your opportunity."
But I still had doubts, so I asked her how to deal with the aftermath. She calmly drank some water and told me it was okay, she would make arrangements.
"You don't need to do anything. Just try your best to be nice to him and lower his guard. It shouldn't be difficult for you," she added.
Good, this should not be difficult for you. I was speechless. It seems that my image as the contemporary Su Daji has been deeply rooted in people's hearts.
"But if you help me, there will always be some clues. Won't Li Siyan cause trouble for you?"
Wen Baibi took another sip of water steadily and told me that she had plenty of connections in the palace, so handling small matters would be no problem.
"Li Siyan may seem prominent, but he actually has no foundation. There are three thousand palace servants, but how many of them truly obey his orders?"
While displaying her strength, she didn't forget to step on the emperor: "The Wen family has been a noble family for generations. I don't know how many queens they have produced. How can a servant's son like him easily shake them?"
There was no disguising the contempt in his words.
"Now you understand why he's so ruthless and won't let you out of his sight," she said. "Although he pretends to be conceited, he's actually very cautious. The last time the princess planted a hidden conspiracy, he suffered a great loss. He already sensed the danger, but he just didn't have the time to deal with it."
However, she also admitted that Li Siyan had extraordinary abilities and emphasized that nothing lasts forever. In the past two years, thanks to the hard work of her ancestors, she could still help, but in a few years, that might not be the case.
I was stunned when I heard this. For the first time, I felt the difference between our Shen family and these top-level aristocratic families.
Under this set of social rules, one's foundation directly determines one's status in the world.
Looking at Wen Baibi's look of having everything under control, I nodded rapidly, agreeing readily, with little stars of admiration slowly rising in my eyes.
I really want to be a woman as wise and calm as her!
A heavy snow fell for a month and only stopped completely during the Chinese New Year. During this period, Li Siyan worked tirelessly to dispatch people to provide disaster relief. He only slept two or three hours a day and lost a lot of weight. Fortunately, his hair was still firmly attached to his scalp and did not die due to staying up late.
During this period, we were like a pair of harmonious roommates, sharing the same palace but not disturbing each other's lives. The only time he took the initiative to call me over during office hours was to tell me the whereabouts of Meng Xu.
As soon as we entered the house, he impatiently threw a crumpled letter at me and told me that Meng Xu was not dead, but had injured his hand while going out to do business, and the heavy snow collapsed the post bridge, which delayed him for many days.
I looked at my toes and replied sullenly, "Oh."
Hu Yue'er outside the door knocked again, to inform that the Minister of Revenue and the Right Prime Minister wanted to see him. Li Siyan raised his head and leaned back, took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
Seeing that he looked pale and exhausted, I tactfully said, "I'll be leaving now. You can take your time with your work."
After saying this, he bowed and left.
"Chen Ying," his tired voice sounded behind him.
I stopped and asked, "What do you want, Your Majesty?"
He closed his eyes and asked calmly, "If I hadn't heard from you for over a month, would you still be concerned enough to inquire about my whereabouts?"
I didn't expect him to ask this, and I didn't react for a moment. I held Meng Xu's letter and stammered, "Why are you asking this? You...you are the emperor. How can I be the one to find out if you are missing? The Imperial Guards are not just there to eat..."
His narrow fox eyes opened a slit and he said with certainty, "You won't."
"I..." I wanted to argue, but Li Siyan interrupted me tyrannically: "You really are causing trouble for me every day. You are too lazy to lie to me. How can I..."
I interrupted him rudely, "Just think I'm lying, but if you disappear for no apparent reason, I'll definitely look for you. Not only will I look for you, but I'll also spit on your grave every year until you appear in my dreams and kneel down to beg for forgiveness."
There was a thud outside the door, as if something had fallen to the ground.
Perhaps the scene I described was too funny, Li Siyan burst out laughing, his anger subsided, his brows relaxed, he stretched out his long legs and stood up, walked over and kissed me on the forehead, holding my face and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you this chance."
You'd better not give it to me, I thought bitterly, otherwise I will scatter your ashes into a rat's nest sooner or later.
After returning to the Zichen Palace, I opened Meng Xu's letter and turned to the end as usual. After confirming that he was fine, I started reading from the first page.
Reading his calm yet deeply sad words, I felt so sad that I wanted to cry, but I thought crying would be too hypocritical, so I just sat there blankly and continued reading bit by bit.
This time he really understood that there was no possibility between us. He was afraid that writing intimate words would cause Li Siyan's dissatisfaction with me, so his writing style was much more regular and distant than before. He listed all the events that happened in the past few months like a diary. When he signed his name at the end, his pen paused obviously, leaving a small ink dot, and below the ink dot was a clear and elegant word "Chen", "Your servant Meng Xu respectfully bows."
They were brother and sister before, but now they are ruler and subject.
More than ten years of affection disappeared like smoke, covered by the cold friendship between the monarch and his subjects. Meng Xu had received the purest Confucian education and believed in the moral principles of heaven and earth. This time he called himself a minister, which showed that he had really given up.
I sat there for a long time, from dawn to dusk.
It was not until the cicadas called me to eat that I moved my stiff hands and locked the letter in the jewelry box.
It’s like burying my past with my own hands.
Late at night, I kept thinking about my deceased relatives. The tide of longing almost swallowed me up. In the past two and a half years, I often thought of them, hoping that they could come to my dreams and talk to me, but the fact is that no matter how much I missed them, I never dreamed of them once.
Until tonight, when I was about to give up, I finally got to see my father and brother as I wished.
In my dream, I hugged my brother and cried loudly. My father was beside me, scolding me for being confused, stupid and cowardly, and for embarrassing him. After scolding me, he comforted me and criticized the emperor for being a good-for-nothing.
I felt so wronged, sobbing and saying that I was forced to do it, I was so miserable. My father's eyes narrowed, and he started to scold me again: You are miserable, you have legs, can't you run away?
I looked at him in astonishment, as if I saw the sun rising from the west.
My brother also comforted me: Jiaojiao said she would help you leave, just do as she said.
Jiaojiao? I was just about to ask who Jiaojiao was, when I immediately understood. Baibi Jiaojiao, the queen.
Dad said seriously: Dad does not ask you to protect your family. As long as you remember Dad's last words and live a clean and honest life, it will be the best comfort to us.
I nodded vigorously, and my brother smiled and said to me: Yingying has grown up...
Before he finished the second half of his sentence, the world suddenly spun around him, and the scenery before him disappeared without a trace in an instant, like a torn curtain.
My expression changed drastically and I screamed in horror.
When I opened my eyes, everything was dark. Li Siyan was standing at the head of the bed in his underwear, holding a gleaming night pearl in his hand. He kept pushing my shoulder, "What's wrong with you?"
The moment I saw his face clearly, I let out a cry of grief and anger, and tears welled up in my eyes.
He was startled and hurriedly put down the night pearl and took me into his arms: "Chen Ying, what's wrong with you? Did you have a nightmare?"
Nightmare? You are the worst nightmare!
I was filled with grief and anger, crying and kicking in his arms: "My father finally sent me a dream, and you ruined it! Li Siyan, did I owe you in my past life? Why did you even interrupt my father's dream!"
After several rounds of incoherent scolding, Li Siyan finally understood. He straightened my face and repeated, "Your father finally agreed to come to see you in a dream, but I arrived at an inopportune time and pissed him off."
I pulled his hand away and buried my head in the quilt.
Li Siyan sighed for the first time: "It's all my fault."
"It's your fault," I sobbed. "You are not allowed to sleep here tonight. I want to talk to my brother."
"You are so righteous. Have you forgotten that this is my dragon bed?" Li Siyan pointed at the golden dragon carved on the headboard.
I was overwhelmed with sorrow and my eyes were filled with tears again.
"Alright, alright, there's nothing to cry about," Li Siyan looked at me helplessly, put on his clothes and stood up: "This place is yours. Say hello to your father for me."
The footsteps gradually faded away. I looked up and took a quick look, and found that he had actually left the inner hall.
I quickly wiped away my tears, closed my eyes and lay down devoutly, calling out to my father and brother in my heart: The annoying person is gone, come quickly!
But my father is really a middle-aged man with emotions and attitudes. He left without saying a word. I gradually became disappointed and fell into a deep and empty dream.
I slept in a daze for the rest of the night, and when I woke up the next morning, the first thing I did was to ask Chan'er for my old paper money basket.
Chan'er thought she had misheard: "What?"
I said righteously, "The winter solstice is coming in a few days. I want to cut paper money and burn it for my parents. I remember giving you that basket. Where is it now?"
"I'll go help you find it." Chan'er said, "Does your wife really want the original one?"
"Of course," I said, "if I were to use the basket given by the emperor to hold paper money, my father wouldn't want it."
Chan'er probably thought I was meddling, but there was nothing she could do. The emperor liked my fussiness and insistence, so she could only obediently prepare the money-making tools for me and ask me if I had any other instructions.
I thought for a moment and said, "Go tell the emperor to sleep in the study tonight. I have something to talk to my parents about."
The cicada looked at me as if I were a lunatic.
"Go quickly." I urged her.
For three consecutive days, I refused to let the emperor in. This not only surprised the experienced palace maids, but also made them feel a little confused, unable to figure out who had the final say in the Purple Palace.
As I cut the paper money, I said, "Of course it's the emperor, but he's been busy lately and doesn't have time to bother me."
Yide helped me organize the banknotes, stringing them together with a thin string. After hesitating for a moment, he asked me, "When my wife enters Lingqi Palace, will she take us with her?"
"We" refers to Xiao Jinlian, Xiao Jinliu and other members of the Shen's literacy class.
"Of course, I can't trust anyone else." I said without thinking, "I'll promote you to the position of Chief Steward when you get there. With a higher status, Li Siyan will remember your contributions, and you'll have a good job to choose from when you change jobs."
Yide was very sensitive and immediately grasped the underlying meaning of my words: "Job-hopping? What do you mean, my lady? Don't you want Yide to serve you anymore?"
I immediately realized I'd let something slip, and quickly tried to make amends, "I...that's not what I meant. I meant...uh...that if you want to leave someday, you don't have to start over as a housemaid. Of course, if you want to stay with me, that's fine too."
Yide was skeptical and mechanically strung the paper money with his head down.
After a while, he raised his head and said, "We are all on Madam Shen's side. We won't leave unless Madam Shen chases us away."
I felt a little sad, but what if it was me who left?
The reason I initially thought of teaching them to read and write and look at account books was so that they would have a few trustworthy people in the vast palace in the future.
Later, I made up my mind to leave, but I did not stop the literacy class. I thought that even if I could no longer support them, they would still have a skill to rely on.
As master and servant, I hope they can live a better life.
Thinking of this, I patted Yide's head and said, "Life is a hundred years long, and we will all say goodbye. No one is reliable except ourselves."
Yide remained silent, his lips tightly pursed.
That night, Li Siyan finished his work in Yanying Palace and came back to the inner palace to see me in the wind and snow.
It gets dark early in winter. When he came, I had already gone to bed and was leaning against the headboard reading a book. I was reading Baopuzi, a mysterious book of alchemy.
I used to think the whole book was just nonsense, but after dreaming about my family yesterday, I felt that this book might be useful, so I flipped through it to see if there was any psychic skills involved.
I didn't find any spiritual skills, but Li Siyan came uninvited, stopped behind me and watched for a while, then said, "Did your father teach you how to study magic last night?"
I turned around and met his bloodshot eyes.
Even though Li Siyan was full of energy, he couldn't handle the high-intensity work for half a month.
I closed the book and said, "My father doesn't believe in ghosts or gods. He just told me to live a good life. It's just that I miss them."
Li Siyan lifted his robe and sat down beside my couch: "If I tell you that the deceased is gone and you should accept my condolences, it would be a bit ungrateful."
I gave him a look that said "if you know, please shut up."
He said gently, "Look, your father also advised you to live a good life, which means that although I am a bit of a jerk to be the emperor, I am just right to be your man."
I said, "Can you please have some shame? Did you marry me with the formalities of marriage, or do you respect and support me? And you still have the nerve to say you are suitable to be my man? I think you are a big disaster, sent specifically to torment our Shen family."
He laughed heartily, took me in his arms, stroked my back and said, "That's true."
He buried his head in my neck, without moving his mouth, just lying there quietly. I struggled a bit, and he said, "Be good and don't move. Let me hold you for a while. I haven't held you for half a month."
I thought to myself, half a month is nothing. I haven’t hugged my brother Meng for half a year.
But I still let him hold me obediently. There was no other way. I had to live under someone else's roof and bow my head.
He said, "When the weather clears up, I will take you out of the palace."
Leave the palace!
My heart was pounding, and I broke free from him. I stood up, grabbed his shoulders, and shouted, "Li Siyan, what did you say? Say it again!"
With a simple push, he laid me down on the blanket beside him. He propped his head up with one hand and turned around, saying nonchalantly, "I've been on the throne for two years, and I haven't yet performed the Fengshan ceremony at Mount Tai. Someone in the court suggested it yesterday, so I've decided to go to Mount Tai next March."
It really is the Fengshan Ceremony at Mount Tai!
I gasped.
But no one said they would take me out with them!
My heart was filled with turmoil. I mustered all my strength to appear calm and asked tentatively, "Me...what about me? I've read the past diary records. Fengshan requires fasting and cannot bring women..."
Li Siyan didn't take it seriously at all: "Who said we can't bring them? Many of my ancestors secretly hid people in the carriages, but the historians didn't find out."
I struggled desperately: "But..."
"No, but. You can't mess around with this matter. Half of the palace guards in Zichen Palace will have to accompany me. I don't trust the rest of them, so it's better to take you out."
After a brief pause, he revealed a self-deprecating expression, "People outside don't know that you wouldn't even let me touch you. They all think you'll give birth to my firstborn son to block their path. There are many who want to kill you right now, and I'm the only one who can protect you."
"Can……"
"I have made up my mind. It's no use begging me," he said.
Things had come to this point, and I could only agree weakly: "Okay, let's set off someday."
"In March, we will first stay at Hibiscus Garden for a few days before setting off from the eastern suburbs."
I nodded.
He gave me a strange look and said, "Didn't you always say you wanted to go out? Why don't you look happy at all?"
A strong resentment rose in my heart: Going out is of course a good thing, but brother, your travel plan has delayed my escape schedule!
The plan has failed, so I can only wait for Li Siyan to go on a long trip next time, but the next time is still a long way off. I calculated that I have to wait until the second half of the year when he offers sacrifices to the Taimiao... Damn it, I may not be able to leave by then.
The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I swung my arm and punched Li Siyan. "Why did you take a fancy to me? Not only do I have no freedom, but my life is in danger. What favorite concubine could live like me? Even my father can't stand it!"
Li Siyan took my punch obediently, even offering the right side of his face for me to hit, and said sincerely, "I really didn't think this matter through. My time in the palace was short, and I didn't expect so many hidden spies to be left inside. I'll have to deal with them one by one in the future. You just wait a little longer."
I thought to myself, I don’t believe you at all.
Li Siyan looked at me eagerly. I thought if I gave him a tail, he would be able to spin and fly.
"I've been very tired lately," he said. "There's not a single person in the court who's not a good person."
I said in a nonchalant manner, "Your Majesty has killed all the loyal ministers who were devoted to the country. Aren't the remaining ones just fence-sitters? Of course, Your Majesty will have to pay more attention to that."
"You have a really good mouth." He smiled disappointedly.
After a few more irrelevant words, Li Siyan returned to the imperial study to continue handling official business. I fell asleep hugging the brocade quilt. It was freezing cold outside the window, but warm as spring in the house. On the other side of the wall, Li Siyan was still worrying about his kingdom.
Governing a country is not an easy task. Money, taxes, national destiny and people's hearts are more troublesome than disobedient ministers. But if you want to stand at the highest place, you have the obligation to bear all of this.
So he was just complaining to me about his troubles in a coquettish manner. If anyone dared to covet his kingdom, he would bite the other person to pieces without hesitation.
After the winter solstice, the sky cleared up and thousands of red candles were lit in the palace to welcome the new year.
Wen Baibi, who had been in seclusion for a long time, finally came out and took charge of all the affairs in the harem.
When Wei Wan'er heard that the Queen was about to start work, she sent all the keys, account books and name plates to Hanliang Palace overnight, eager to get rid of this terrible job.
After finally being relieved of her duties, she finally breathed a sigh of relief. During this period, I went to see her once. As soon as she saw me, she started crying and couldn't stop. I asked Xiaodie what was wrong, and unexpectedly, Xiaodie also sobbed. I could only wait awkwardly for them to finish venting. After a while, Xiaodie sobbed and said: Sister Yingzi, it's all our fault that you are in this situation now.
"Ah?" I didn't understand. Wasn't it the dog emperor's fault?
Wei Wan'er cried, "It was me who didn't keep the legend you wrote, and it accidentally let His Majesty see it, which is why he was so cruel as to try to snatch me away... It's all my fault."
It turned out that he was feeling guilty about this. I sighed and said, "It's none of your business. I asked him, and he said that even if he hadn't seen what I wrote, he wouldn't let me go."
Wei Wan'er looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "What should I do now? The marriage decree is invalid. You can't leave anymore."
"Let's see if there's an opportunity..." I was infected by her and became dejected. I looked helplessly at the dark group of guards at the door and sighed, "It seems there is no good opportunity at the moment."
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