Chapter 55: Spring Breeze
Because all the bad things happened at the same time, I felt like I had a lump in my throat this year.
What made me most upset was that on New Year’s Eve, Da Mi caught the first mouse in his life and placed it on the footstool beside the bed without anyone noticing.
The moment my eyes met the mouse's small green eyes, my screams almost blew the roof of the Zichen Palace off.
Desperate, I threw myself into Li Siyan's arms. He subconsciously embraced me, patted my back helplessly, and said sleepwalkingly, "You're throwing yourself into my arms so early in the morning?"
I pointed tremblingly at the footrest. Li Siyan took a look, frowned, and said loudly: "Huiyue, throw this dirty thing out."
Huiyue came over in response, and was caught off guard when she saw the tragically dead fat rat. Her eyelids twitched suddenly.
The one who caused the accident, Da Mi, meowed unhappily and was kicked out of the house along with Haozi by the angry Huiyue. They were then locked up in a small dark room to receive a serious education from Chaner.
Li Siyan softly comforted him, "Don't be afraid, it's gone."
I was still in shock and managed to stick my head out.
Seeing how afraid I was of mice, Li Siyan's rising desire to perform finally had an outlet. He loudly called for a New Year's rat extermination campaign and even secretly rewarded Da Mi with three dried fish when she came out of the confinement room.
Da Mi was confused, and so was I. I felt something was wrong but couldn't tell exactly what it was.
Li Siyan didn't give me a chance to think deeply. After breakfast, he dragged me to the theater to watch the newly staged New Year's play. He said it was very good and full of surprises.
Of course, I didn't see what was good about it and was drowsy the whole time. Halfway through the play, a beautiful woman wearing pearls and jade suddenly came onto the stage, holding a pipa and singing a melodious song.
Sounds good.
I was suddenly awakened by the shock. I rubbed my eyes and looked carefully - hey, isn't this Xie Xiuniang who has been married for a long time?
The director of the Music Bureau smiled and said, "Last time, your majesty mentioned this, and your majesty has always kept it in mind. This time, Xiu Niang happened to be back in the imperial capital to celebrate the New Year's Eve, so he asked her to sing a song for your majesty."
I was at a loss for words: "I've already found another job, and you still ask me to sing. How can you bully me like that?"
Li Siyan said calmly, "You always blindly sympathize with others. If you like to listen, just let her sing. It's her luck that you like to hear her sing. It can't be considered bullying her."
Xie Xiuniang on the stage hung her head in silence, holding her pipa with her sleeves folded, a glint of humiliation flashed in her beautiful phoenix eyes.
She was forcibly summoned to the palace on New Year's Eve, just to play music for an ordinary-looking, unromantic maid. How depressing!
If there is anything that can be more frustrating than this, it must be that the emperor didn't even give her a glance and was only busy serving this little girl.
Xie Xiuniang bit her lower lip unwillingly.
...In terms of appearance and talent, Xie Xiuniang is outstanding in every way. Why can't I be the one listening to the music here?
I also noticed the beauty's unfriendly gaze, and I couldn't help sighing in my heart, "I was forced to do this! I wish you could seduce the emperor away so I can live my own life."
The tacit eye contact ended like this. After watching the play, it was time to perform the Nuo dance in the palace to drive away evil spirits.
Because of the disaster that had just happened the year before, the scale of the Nuo dance on New Year's Eve was extremely grand. The music envoys, palace guards, and eunuchs from all the palaces came out in full force. Thousands of people dressed up as gods and Buddhas, dancing everywhere in a mighty manner. Behind the team followed a group of young palace maids, carrying clear water and willow branches, dressed up as fairies spreading dew.
Among them were Xiao Jinlian and Xiao Jinliu, twins who looked cute and were chosen to stand in the front row. When they saw me, they waved their willow branches at me excitedly. I saw that something was wrong and quickly hid behind Li Siyan. Then, the whole pot of nectar from Xiao Jinlian and Xiao Jinliu was spilled on Li Siyan's chest, forming two dark puddles of water.
The location is very suspicious and very imaginative.
The two were frightened, but Li Siyan was not angry at all. He happily rewarded them with silver and cloth, and asked them to serve me well in the coming year.
The two little girls then left with peace of mind, sprinkling their nectar to every corner of the inner courtyard.
Amid the clanging gongs, I covered my ears and said to Li Siyan, "Does this dance really work? If it does, why didn't it drive you out?"
He heard my indirect criticism of him as a wicked villain, and his smile widened. "Yeah, why isn't it working? We need to increase our efforts."
It was a rare day off, and Li Siyan packed it with activities. After watching the Nuo dance, he took me through various New Year's Eve customs, like walking away all diseases and drinking pepper wine... The most outrageous thing was, he even took me on a tour of all the gods and Buddhas on the palace altars. I asked him, "Don't you believe in gods and ghosts?" He replied, "Since I'm here, I'll do it."
He was in high spirits, while I was exhausted. In the evening, he went to attend the New Year's Eve banquet with Wen Baibi. I finally got a chance to rest and collapsed in the Zichen Hall exhausted.
"This man's body must have been molded by Nuwa herself." I was shocked. "How come he doesn't feel tired?"
During the New Year, everyone in the Purple Palace was in a very good mood. When they were in a good mood, they spoke without restraint. Chan'er blurted out: "Your Majesty is in good health, so my lady can enjoy the wonderful effect."
I didn't understand: "What?"
Huiyue glared at Chan'er fiercely: "Don't talk nonsense!"
Chan'er stuck out her tongue and said with a grin, "Sister Huiyue won't let me say it anymore."
I said, "You'd better stop talking about it. It doesn't sound like a good thing."
After saying that, he fell asleep.
I didn't fall asleep for long before I was woken up again. The dog emperor had returned from a banquet, wearing a sexy purple dress, and asked me to go to the city wall to watch the fireworks in the 108 districts of Chang'an.
I was furious: "Go and see for yourself! I want to sleep!"
Li Siyan left no room for negotiation on this matter. He pulled me out of the quilt with one hand and said, "You must stay up all night on New Year's Day. You can sleep tomorrow."
"It's freezing outside..." I stared at the charcoal stove reluctantly.
Li Siyan said swiftly, "Huiyue, bring the hand warmer and the mink fur coat."
Huiyue quickly packed up all her gear for going out, and when she was about to help me put it on, Li Siyan naturally took over the things she had prepared, personally tied a thick fox fur scarf and a small mink cape on me, and even tied a bow.
I'm short, and he wrapped me up like a round white dumpling. Li Siyan stuffed the hand warmer into my hands and said to me, "You can walk now."
In fact, the word "walked" is not quite accurate, because I was carried all the way to the base of the city wall by the palace servants. The only part of the journey I walked by myself was the ladder to the city wall. Li Siyan has long legs and can take a long step. I followed him breathlessly, wondering why the inner courtyard had to build such a high city wall.
But the moment I climbed up the city wall, I understood why Li Siyan insisted on pulling me out of bed to stay up all night.
He carried me up to the high city wall and guided me to look outside. The biting north wind of December hit my nose directly, and I couldn't help sneezing. He calmly spread out his sable cloak and wrapped me in it.
I opened my eyes against the wind, because I was standing high, I could see the magnificent scenery of the majestic imperial capital. The road was filled with music and singing, and the bright moon gave way to lights. There was no moon on the first day of the month, and I looked up to see only a few stars inlaid in the sky. The skylight was dim, but the 108 districts on the ground were lit up like day. The endless shadows of the lights blurred into a large halo in my eyes, extending to the other side of the clouds and mountains.
Bamboos were being set on fire everywhere, and bright lights were being lit on the rivers and tall buildings. The streets were bustling with people, and countless people gathered. When they saw Li Siyan appear on the city wall, they all raised their arms and cheered, shouting "Long live the emperor, and long live the country", with their voices getting louder and louder.
I suddenly felt like I was in a huge, bustling dream.
Chang'an seemed to have burned up all its nutrients overnight, just to release its astonishing beauty on this night. This kind of unrestrained and unrestrained celebration that only cares about the present and the past has been rare since ancient times and can only be seen in the most prosperous and energetic era.
And the man standing behind me is the only owner of this land.
He is tall and handsome, with sharp eyebrows and cold eyes. His power has made his temperament even more unruly, but such a man is willing to comb my hair, make steamed buns for me, and let my cat shed its hair all over the bed.
It would be a lie to say I haven't wavered.
I am not the steadfast and unyielding heroine in the storybooks, as holy as a fake person. Even the most chaste young lady cannot withstand the wear and tear of water dripping through stone. In those moments when the candlelight flickers,
But……
But when I stood on the city wall and listened to the people cheering "Long Live the New Life", my father, second uncle, and brother were lying in cold graves in the western suburbs of Chang'an, with fine snow falling on the stone tablets, and no one offering tributes to them.
Meng Xu was alone in Jiangnan recuperating from his injured leg, Xiaochuan gave up the girl he loved and decided not to pursue a career in officialdom. All the people in Chang'an were reuniting with their families on New Year's Eve, but under the Shen family's brand new gold-plated plaque, only a lonely mother and son were guarding the mansion that they entered and exited three times.
I looked up at Li Siyan.
The ten-mile lanterns were reflected in his eyes, his gaze was bright, full of hope and desire.
The male instinct of looking down on the world and the impulse to submit to the girl were entangled, making him just look at me without saying a word and holding me tighter in his hands.
For the first time, half sincerely and half falsely, I took the initiative to stand on tiptoe and gently kiss him on the lips.
The moment their lips touched, deafening laughter erupted from all 108 districts. The sounds of burning bamboo and gongs and drums stopped the clouds and startled countless birds flying over the three mountains of Penglai.
The new year is here.
What followed was that Li Siyan was stunned for a moment, and then his eyes suddenly became as dark as the sky tonight. He held the back of my head and kept deepening the kiss. I only wanted to taste it lightly, but he forced it to go three hundred miles deep into the enemy camp. A good kiss, but it was so intense that it was like a battle between two armies. It was really annoying.
Moreover, he didn't want the guards beside him to watch me, so when I raised my head to kiss him, he pulled open his cloak to cover my head and face.
His cloak was sleek and windproof, but it was not breathable and almost suffocated us both.
After returning to the palace, I was still complaining that my lips were swollen from being kissed. It was so embarrassing and I couldn't face anyone. Li Siyan coaxed me gently and thoughtfully all the way, with a smile in his eyes and eyebrows.
I wish I could let the people below the city wall see the emperor’s expression: Dear residents of Chang’an, do you really want to live long for such a useless emperor?
The year passed in a flurry of noise, and my life didn't change much.
The only change was that, starting from that kiss, Li Siyan became more and more attached to me, and gradually allowed me to do many things that he had forbidden me to do before.
I was very confused and asked him, "Isn't it just that I kissed you first? Is it that important?" Li Siyan said, "Of course, you are willing to lie to me wholeheartedly. I am very happy. Of course I have to reward you and let you continue to lie for a long time."
I was shocked when I heard this, and sincerely felt that this dog emperor had been tamed by me and had become stupid. He knew that I was lying to him, but he was still so happy.
Later, when I thought about it carefully, I realized that I had actually been tamed by Li Siyan. In order to get a little insignificant freedom from him, I was losing my bottom line step by step - I took the initiative to kiss him today, so would I have to take the initiative to sacrifice myself tomorrow?
After discovering this, I remained silent for an entire afternoon, mourning the fact that my bottom line was constantly being breached.
...No wonder Li Siyan didn't mention visiting me for a long time. He was waiting for me to wash myself clean and bring myself to him so that he could feast on me.
The dog emperor is very cunning.
What's worse is that I'm actually seriously considering whether I should cross this bottom line and make him feel completely at ease about me?
But I really can't get over it in my heart. What if I can't help feeling nauseous and vomit on the dog emperor's couch? The scene is too beautiful for me to imagine.
When you are in doubt, look for Wen Baibi. I passed a message to Li Siyan and asked him to take a donkey cart to ask Wen Baibi to go to Taiye Lake to relax.
I confided my little troubles to Wen Baibi, who paused for a long moment before saying, "...you...haven't slept with him yet?"
I said sincerely, "Exactly! In your opinion, should I make some sacrifice?"
This matter touched upon Wen Baibi's blind spot in knowledge.
She slowly probed, "Is the emperor born with a disability?"
"No, no, no!" I denied repeatedly: "He is very healthy."
Even someone as calm as Wen Baibi didn't feel comfortable asking in detail what the specific health method was.
As I gazed at her with admiration, she paused for a moment and said, "...I can't give you any advice on this matter...Since it's your own body, you should decide for yourself, but I...I don't want you to be ruined by that bastard for nothing."
"Okay." I lowered my head and said, "I understand."
Wen Baibi's large sleeves brushed across the back of my hand. I was startled when suddenly a few neatly folded pieces of paper appeared in my hand.
"The pass, the documents, everything you need to travel within the imperial court is here." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "You will be leaving in ten days, accompanying the emperor to the lands of Qi and Lu. Keep these carefully. If you encounter an opportunity along the way, you can leave on your own."
I was startled and calmly stuffed a few pieces of thin paper into my belt.
She said, "With your literary talent, it won't be difficult for you to make a living outside. If you can really escape, you must hide yourself well and don't even think about returning to Chang'an."
The pass in my arms seemed to weigh a thousand pounds. I nodded blankly, and she smiled at me gently.
"Oh, Queen." I suddenly remembered something and asked, "Is your nickname Jiaojiao?"
Wen Baibi was surprised and said, "That's true, but only close elders call me by my nickname occasionally. How did you know that?"
"The autumn moon shines on the white jade, as bright as the snow on the mountainside." I smiled and said, "I don't know why, but this poem suddenly came to my mind. Maybe my brother is still thinking about us in the dark."
Wen Baibi hummed softly, his expression gloomy.
I asked, "Does the Queen know my brother's nickname?"
She thought for a moment: "He didn't say that."
I leaned close to her ear and said seriously, "His nickname is Donkey Slave."
On the way back to the Purple Palace, Xiao Jinlian wanted to say something but hesitated. Finally, she couldn't help but quietly asked me what I had said to the Queen, which made the usually cold Queen laugh for a whole cup of tea.
I blurted out, "I told her a joke. There were two brothers who stole some wine. The younger brother drank and bowed to his father. The older brother asked why he had to do that. The younger brother said we should be polite. He also asked his brother why he didn't bow. The older brother said, "Wake up, we are thieves. How can thieves be polite?"
Little Golden Lotus:
Me: Isn’t it funny?
Xiao Jinlian walked away in confusion.
After returning to the palace, I sent the palace maids away one by one and stealthily unfolded the document that Wen Baibi gave me.
Along with the customs clearance documents, she also wrote me a text message, briefly explaining the origin of this household registration.
The letter said that the fake household registration given to me belonged to one of her maids, who left her hometown when she was young and was sold to her own house. Before Wen Baibi got married, she dismissed all the people who served her. However, this girl had a bad fate. She fell ill and died just after the new household registration was obtained. So this household registration remained in Wen Baibi's hands, and by chance, it was given to me.
I took a few glances at the household registration documents. This unfortunate girl's surname is Wang, her given name is Yayu, and her household registration is in a place called Yongnian County in Mingzhou.
Mingzhou? It sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it exactly. I went to Li Siyan's study and looked at his large map for a long time before I realized, oh, this is where the Battle of Mingshui was fought during Emperor Gaozu's time.
This is a good place. It is far away from Chang'an, with convenient transportation. It is also at a reasonable distance from the Turks and is safe enough.
The only question now is… I couldn’t help but ponder: Will I ever actually have the chance to use these things?
I glanced at the guards standing outside the door, sighed, and put the household registration documents into the jewelry box containing the letter with melancholy.
Let’s see the trend first.
Ten days later, Li Siyan officially set off and took me out of the palace.
The first stop of this trip was Furong Garden. Spring had arrived and the emperor wanted to go hunting, so he took me to the hot spring pool.
Hunting in winter and spring is the most popular activity for the royal family and nobles of our dynasty. All the emperors would go to Furong Garden whenever they had nothing to do and would never return to the palace until they had returned with a full load.
However, Li Siyan was not among them. He insisted that it was boring to deal with beasts without intelligence. After all, hunting was not as exciting as fighting with humans, and fighting with humans was not as interesting as playing with Qijilang.
The laid-off attendant thought he was seriously ill.
He changed into his hunting uniform and asked me with great interest, "Can you ride a horse and shoot a bow?"
I said coldly, "I used to be able to do it, but after I injured my shoulder last time, I can no longer pull a heavy bow."
Li Siyan gently stroked my slender shoulders and said with lowered eyes, "Then let's just ride horses."
He ordered someone to bring me a short-legged mare, which was said to have a very good temperament and never kick. He personally checked the saddle, carried me onto the horse's back, and then got on his famous Wusun horse. He pulled the reins, drew his bow, and chased after a fiery red fox.
Nobles from all walks of life followed in large numbers.
The excitement was theirs. I didn't like hunting at all, so I just let the pony circle slowly along the Qujiang River. Many nobles wanted to ride their horses to talk to me, but they were all stopped by the guards.
I had nothing much to talk about with them. After riding for a while, I felt bored, so I leisurely returned to the palace and found a pavilion to sit and enjoy the scenery.
After a long time, Li Siyan returned from hunting, followed by a cart full of rabbits and foxes.
He wanted to show off to me, but I sarcastically retorted, "...How much water did the steward give you? This rabbit is so hungry it doesn't even have the energy to run."
He smiled. "I don't have a kite or a hunting dog, so getting these is already a good thing. While hunting, I thought of you. Isn't there a poem in Chinese poetry that goes like this: 'In the forest there are simple trees, in the wild there are dead deer. In the pure bundle of white grass there is a girl as beautiful as jade.' So I brought it here for you to see."
How could I not understand the implication of his words? He was beating around the bush to ask for sex from me. I pushed his smiling face away with one hand and said, "Go away."
Although Li Siyan did not like hunting, he loved roasting rabbit meat. He loved it so much that he specially learned the tricks of roasting and taught it to me with great enthusiasm.
I held the bamboo skewers for the meat with an expressionless face, feeling like an uncivilized savage.
While daydreaming, I accidentally dropped a skewer of meat into the charcoal fire. When I fished it out, the surface of the meat had turned an ominous black color.
"It's messed up." Li Siyan said, "Change it."
I shook my head: "I'm full."
He kissed the corner of my greasy mouth and said, "You have such a small appetite, like a rabbit."
I thought to myself that you must have misunderstood rabbits. The rabbits in Zichen Palace are much more efficient at eating than I am.
It was early spring and everything was warming up. After dinner, Li Siyan said that a new hot spring pool had been built in the garden and wanted to take me to see it.
I feel that he is particularly restless today. Maybe it is because spring has arrived and the season is impetuous, which makes people easily think of some beautiful things.
I didn't move, but stood there, looking at him quietly and vigilantly.
He was dressed in red, and the shadows of hundreds of orchid candles danced on his body, illuminating him like a ball of burning fire.
He slowly put away his smile and walked towards me step by step.
I closed my eyes, and a warm hand fell on the side of my cheek and began to caress it gently.
The thin calluses on the fingertips rubbed across the lips, chin, and then the neck, lingering.
──This is a way for a male to touch a female, full of evil thoughts.
When he touched my collarbone, I couldn't stand it anymore. I took several steps back and bit my lip and said, "What do you mean?"
"Yingying," he slowly lowered his hand and said softly, "I have endured this for a long time."
His voice was tainted with uncontrollable desire.
Like a lone wolf in the wilderness who spots a nimble deer, he dares not scare it and only approaches slowly.
I clenched my fists in my sleeves.
The palace was hung with layers of red gauze curtains, which were gently blown up and down by the wind. Outside the window lattice, the bright moon was like a hook, the frogs were croaking, and the crickets were chirping. It was a light and beautiful spring night.
But for some reason my heart felt extremely heavy, as if it was tied to a huge rock and slowly sank into a deep lake.
Wen Baibi said that I should make the decision on this matter, but I really don't know how to choose. If I give it to him, I will feel sad. But this matter can't be avoided. The date of escape originally scheduled is gradually fading. Since I can't leave, sooner or later I...
While I was silent, Li Siyan walked up to me.
I was startled, and he lifted my chin up. He smiled at me, and then my vision darkened, and a kiss with the fragrance of roasted rabbit was pressed between my lips and teeth.
"Come with me to the hot spring," he bit my lower lip and pulled it gently, his smile sincere and his eyes bright: "Don't be afraid, I will serve you this time."
Are you scared? Honestly, I'm not too scared, I'm just sad that I can't help myself.
The summer night was so sweltering that my sanity was slowly being torn away from my body. He lifted me up and carried me across the curtains. The gauze gently brushed my cheek, just like his cautious test.
I should have run away, but I didn't.
Many years later, when I think about it, I still feel confused. Why didn’t I leave at that time?
Perhaps Li Siyan was right, there were many things in the world that made no sense. I lay drowsily in his arms, looking out the window unconsciously. The sky outside was as dark as ink, and the first heavy rain of this spring was falling, so heavy that it seemed like it had fallen from the previous life.
The next moment, red gauze covered my eyes, and another heavy rain fell in my heart.
The dampness gave rise to emotions as sticky as spider silk, and before I could distinguish them carefully, I had already lost the instinct to think.
Under the balcony, there are clouds in the morning and rain in the evening. Red candles are shining brightly in the hall and rain is noisy outside. He may have really endured for too long, and the long-suppressed emotions burst out overnight. He feels that nothing is enough. I am like a lonely boat in the heavy rain, like a traveler chased by a giant beast. My long hair is soaked with sweat during the repeated wanderings. He is in front of me, his fingers lift up my messy hair, and he looks at my blushing profile obsessively.
I can't remember what happened afterwards. I seemed to cry, but also seemed not to. He coaxed me gently, and I scolded him loudly. Among so many vague and fragmented fragments, I only clearly remember him looking at me with his clear eyes.
He made me call him by his name, his humble name.
I clutched the red silk tent tightly, snapping the beaded curtain at the edge. Glass beads clattered against the edge of the couch. When the last bead fell to the ground, I couldn't help it any longer and gritted my teeth, "Li Siyan, are you born in the Year of the Dog?"
As soon as I finished speaking, the late plum blossoms under the eaves poured out the dew that had accumulated overnight. Li Siyan buried his face deeply in the crook of my neck. A spring thunder sounded in the sky, and the water level of Qujiang River rose, slowly overflowing the embankment.
Ten thousand springs came crashing down, and his heartbeat was as violent as a drum.
No matter how much resentment there will be between us in the future, at least at this moment, he must think that he has got everything he wanted.
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