Chapter 64 Hunting
The ancient ferry crossing is not large, so I don’t have many boats to choose from.
But among the limited choices, I took Xiaozhi on board the merchant ship with the farthest destination without hesitation.
The caravan manager took my silver and told me that their boat would go down the river and finally reach Dongjin Ferry on the Yellow River.
"Okay," I said, "Please send the boat as soon as possible."
The steward allocated me a small cabin, two quilts and some food. I ate it all in silence and sat in a corner in a daze.
Xiaozhi came over quietly, put a piece of clothing on me, and whispered, "It's cold on the river, my lady, please wear more clothes."
"Thank you," I whispered.
The fleet set off, sailing on the muddy and narrow river. There were endless farmlands on both sides of the river. In the faint morning light, vague green mountains could be seen in the distance.
After a long while, I slowly opened my mouth and said, "Xiaozhi, aren't you curious about me?"
Xiaozhi shook her head. "I'm not curious. You told Miss Du before that a bully once bullied you. Since you were once a concubine, the person who bullied you must have been the emperor."
"Yes." I smiled bitterly. "He was the emperor. He stole the throne from his own brother. To establish his authority, he forced the historians to bow their heads. Three of my historians died in front of the palace. I am the fourth. I survived, but my situation is worse than death."
The painful memories were dug up again, stained with old blood, and instantly brought me back to that nightmarish day.
I told Xiaozhi the old stories in a disjointed and confusing manner, telling about the twisted love-hate relationship between Li Siyan and me, how I took the opportunity to escape, and how I was caught by Xie Xiuniang... Every detail was too numerous to list.
Xiaozhi didn't say anything, just listened silently.
"If he catches me again this time, I'm afraid I'll be in great danger." I smiled and said, "I tricked him and tricked him into thinking it was a scam. Xiaozhi, you don't know how scary he is when he gets angry."
Xiaozhi whispered, "Then run away and don't let him find you."
The last time I left the palace, Qingfu said the same thing to me.
He had already seen through the clues by then, but was reluctant to tell me directly, so he just told me to leave, far away. I did have this plan, but before I could leave, Li Siyan took action, completely cutting off my hopes.
They all told me to run away, but the world is so big, where can I hide?
I understand that with Li Siyan's ability, if he really cares about me, he will find his way to this merchant ship sooner or later, so I prepared myself mentally early on, waiting for the day when Li Siyan and his guards would break in and take me back to Chang'an.
However, after the boat passed Mingzhou, Xiangzhou, entered the Yellow River, and passed Qizhou, Li Siyan's troops still did not appear.
I felt strange, but at the same time, a sense of hope welled up in my heart: Perhaps Zhang Qian had successfully tricked Li Siyan? Besides, there were many travelers at the ferry crossing, so Li Siyan might not have known I had slipped away quietly.
Xiaozhi also comforted me: "My wife can walk once, and she can walk a second time."
I didn't dare to think too much and nodded hastily.
The merchant ship was still moving down, heading steadily towards Dongjindu.
Xiaozhi asked me what to do when we arrived at Dongjindu.
I said frankly that I didn't know either. I might find a ship to go out to sea in Dadu, or I might go south. It doesn't matter. The farther the better.
Xiaozhi counted the silver and said that if we could go out to sea, the money we brought would be enough to go to Lingnan along the coast. However, it would be a bit difficult to get there. There are many snakes and insects in Lingnan, and it is full of smoke and miasma. It is definitely not as comfortable as the north.
I took a bite of the cake and looked out of the small window. From the land of Yanzhao to Qilu, the mountains and rivers along the way gradually changed from rugged to graceful, and there were more and more boats on the river.
Occasionally, merchant ships would dock, but I didn't dare go out. I would just cautiously let Xiaozhi go down to check, especially to see if there was a wanted poster for me posted at the ferry, and to see if there were any soldiers chasing me.
Xiaozhi looked all over Dadu in the lower reaches of the Yellow River, and every time he came back he said it was not there.
I frowned and said, "Perhaps the wanted portraits have all been posted at the city gate, but the ones for the ferry haven't been drawn yet."
Xiaozhi looked at me with pity, his eyes full of: How could you attract such a plague?
"I had my fortune told," I said to her dejectedly, "and it said my luck was very bad the year before last, slightly bad last year, and very bad this year. It's been three years of bad luck for a person. I'm lucky to be in human form now."
Xiaozhi comforted me: "As the saying goes, good times come after bad times. My wife's good fortune is yet to come."
Later? I started to smile bitterly again.
What I didn’t tell her was that my bad luck will continue to grow next year. There’s no end in sight to this misfortune, and it’s bound to make me despair.
The cabin assigned to me by the steward was very small, with some goods piled up in the corner. The walls were deserted, and there was only a high window hanging under the beam, which prevented the room from being too cramped.
In a depressing atmosphere, I counted the days in fear and wandered all the way from Mingzhou to Dongjin Ferry.
The moment I got off the boat, the sunlight poured all over me and into my eyes, making me feel like I was in another world.
I looked at the azure sky and the vast river under the sky, and almost shed tears.
I let out a deep breath of anger in my heart: Damn it, no matter whether it is good or bad, since I dared to leave, I can bear the consequences of being found. This year and more of free time can be considered as stolen by me. Even if I were given another chance to choose, I would still leave and never look back.
Knowing that the road ahead is dangerous, we should live every day. In a hundred years of life, eight out of ten things will not go as we wish. What's the point of thinking too much? One day of freedom is a day of freedom.
"Xiaozhi, go find a boat to go out to sea!" I clutched my bundle tightly and said through gritted teeth, "Going east to Fusang, or to Silla, will do. I don't believe the dog emperor would dare to come knocking on my door if I go to another country's territory!"
Xiaozhi pointed to a long Mulan boat in the distance and said, “My lady, look at that, it looks like a sea vessel.
The Dongjin Ferry was bustling with activity. I squinted my eyes and looked in the direction she pointed. I saw a simple long boat parked at the very edge of the ferry. There was no decoration on the hull, and two sails were hoisted high in the middle. It was obvious that it was prepared for going out to sea.
But the strange thing was that there were very few boatmen on that ship, only three or four of them were busy on the deck. The other ships were all guarded by heavily armored guards, but this ship was the only one with loose guards.
I covered my head and face with a long scarf and walked in the crowd with my head down. Although I was covered tightly, I still felt that many eyes were falling on Xiaozhi and me intentionally or unintentionally, which made me feel uneasy for no reason.
Guards are everywhere...
I recognized their attire, the armor of the Zhechoufu, and the leader was wearing the uniform of the Jinwu Guard. The appearance of the Imperial Guards here clearly showed one thing - Li Siyan had already investigated.
The Jinwu Guard glanced at me casually, and I was shocked and unconsciously tightened my headscarf.
Xiaozhi's voice was also shaking, and he said to me: "Madam, those people seem to be looking at you."
I gritted my teeth and said, "If they really were suspicious, they would have tracked us down long ago. Why wait until today?"
"What should we do now?" Xiaozhi was a little panicked.
I gathered myself and said, "Let's keep going and get on that ship. It's in a remote area and has the fewest guards. We can fish in troubled waters and maybe escape this disaster unnoticed."
"Okay." The little girl showed a desperate look.
I took a deep breath and strode to the longboat with Xiaozhi.
A boatman was busy loading cargo onto the boat. I observed it for a long time and confirmed that the boat was simply unguarded because it was parked in a remote area. Then I cautiously approached and asked, "Young man, may I ask where this boat is heading?"
The boatman skillfully pulled a wooden box aboard. Without even looking up at me, he politely said, "Go to the land of the rising sun, the Fusang of the East Sea."
It really is a ship going out to sea!
I couldn't believe my good luck and asked, "When do we leave?"
The boatman still didn't look at me, but lowered his head and said, "Today, we should leave in another hour."
My heart started beating wildly again, and ecstasy surged in my heart.
This is really sleepy and someone handed me a pillow! There just happened to be a ship waiting for me. I can cross the sea from here to Fusang and go to a foreign country. I just need to pretend to be a shipwreck survivor and live incognito. No matter how powerful Li Siyan is, he won't be able to find me!
At this moment, I was completely overwhelmed by this great thing, as if I saw a rope hanging in a deep well of despair. Even though I felt vaguely strange, I didn't care. I just wishfully thought that this was God's mercy on me.
Xiaozhi hesitated. "My lady, you must think carefully. The old people in the city said that there are giant beasts on the sea that can swallow boats. Besides, this foreign country is far away, and you may never be able to return to your homeland in this lifetime. Do you really want to go?"
I said, "I want to go. I would rather die in the belly of a fish with hope in my heart than lie next to the enemy who killed my family."
When the boatman heard what I said, his hand that was moving the box paused slightly.
Xiaozhi sighed, "Okay, I'll accompany my wife."
The boatman said softly, "It is not impossible for this lady to take our boat, but we must inform our master before we can make a decision. The master is in the cabin, so please talk to him."
After saying that, he didn't even move his box, but went straight off the boat. Before leaving, he pointed out the only cabin under the sail for me.
Xiaozhi glanced at his back and said to me, "That Japanese man speaks Chinese very well."
I was stunned: "How do you know he is from Japan?"
"Boatmen here don't like to shave, but he doesn't have a beard," Xiaozhi said. "He doesn't look like him, and his tone of voice isn't quite the same. His voice is weird."
"Mandarin is indeed difficult to learn." I didn't take it to heart.
The boatman asked me to find the manager, but I didn't think much about it and took Xiaozhi to the cabin he pointed to.
I stood outside the door and knocked three times, and three more times, but no one answered.
I was a little anxious and ignored the etiquette. I said, "This is an urgent matter. I hope the manager can be flexible." as I pushed the door open and walked in.
But the moment I pushed open the door, my soul shook violently in my body.
"Madam, what's wrong?" Xiaozhi asked doubtfully, "Is there something wrong with this room..."
After seeing the situation in the room clearly, she gasped and covered her mouth tightly.
"This..." She trembled and turned to look at me in panic.
I was as still as a tombstone, my face deathly pale.
He is here.
No one could have imagined that inside the longboat with a plain exterior and no decorations, there was a magnificent and luxurious cabin hidden.
Right in front of me stood a landscape screen, more than one meter tall, depicting the returning clouds of Chuxiu and the sunrise and sunset of Wushan. Every stitch and thread looked incredibly familiar. This was the first gift Li Siyan had given me.
All the furnishings in the room were what I was used to seeing in the Purple Palace. Even the plum blossoms that I used to place in a vase for worship in my spare time were still there, but the blossoms had long since dried up, and the bare branches were dotted with an ugly dark red color, like specks of blood.
The last moment, I was full of anticipation, wanting to set sail eastward and start over in a foreign land.
But once the hatch was opened, the beautiful dream was shattered.
I have been frightened many times in my life and have had many moments of despair, but none of them was as unforgettable as this one, like a person who has gone through hardships to climb a hundred-foot cliff, but has his fingers clinging to the cliff surface being pried apart one by one.
Falling from the human world back to hell is nothing more than this.
I was so sad that I wanted to laugh, I wanted to laugh out loud, but my teeth were chattering and I had lost the ability to make a sound.
It turns out that all the smooth sailing I experienced in the past half month was due to his deliberate indulgence. He was just waiting to close the net and kill me at the last moment. After going around in circles for more than a year, I thought I had the strength to overcome all obstacles, but I didn't realize that I was still a bird struggling in his hands.
Turning my head woodenly, I saw Xiaozhi calling my name anxiously, the voice sometimes louder and sometimes softer, as if coming from far away.
But her voice was soon drowned out. Footsteps were heard on the deck. A tide of soldiers was heading towards the isolated cabin, as chaotic as an army of thousands.
Among the surging Jinwu Guards, I saw the boatman who had shown me the way before.
──Xiaozhi guessed wrong. He was not a Japanese, but a eunuch from the palace. He had been cleansed, so his face was white and beardless, and his tone of voice was strange.
I should have noticed it, but I was so anxious at the time that I was blinded by it and didn't notice the obvious mistake.
It was my fault.
They gathered around in silence. Xiaozhi was so frightened that she held my arm tightly.
"ah!"
A scream ripped through my eardrums.
I turned around mechanically and saw two Jinwu Guards grabbing Xiaozhi and dragging her under the boat. Xiaozhi kicked and screamed in fear: "Madam! Madam!"
The Jinwu Guards turned a deaf ear and behaved rudely.
They want to kidnap Xiaozhi!
My head buzzed, and I rushed over and shouted, "Let her go! Aren't you just going to arrest me? I'll go with you. She's still young, don't attack her!"
Xiaozhi cried: "Help!"
Seeing her disappear behind the wall of people, leaving only intermittent crying, I stumbled after her, but my body suddenly collided with two cold iron spears.
I tried in vain to push them away, but how could I break the iron wall of the Jinwu Guards? I could only watch Xiaozhi retreat, until I could no longer hear even her cries.
"Your Majesty, please calm down." The eunuch spoke respectfully.
"Let her go!"
The eunuch bowed his head and said, "Your Majesty has ordered that all the treacherous villains around the Empress be thrown into the East China Sea to feed the fish. We cannot disobey."
"What the hell do you want?" I collapsed. "If he hates me, just kill me. Why would he touch Xiaozhi? She's only twelve!"
The eunuch said calmly, "Your Majesty, please calm down."
"Get out of here." I stood up with red eyes and slowly backed away until my back was against the cabin door.
The Jinwu Guards stood in a semicircle with me as the center.
I guess the emperor gave them orders only to surround and drive me away, and not to touch me at all.
The eunuch looked at the door and bowed his head, saying, "Your Majesty is inside. I hope Your Majesty..."
I turned around inch by inch, trembling with hatred.
Surrounded by enemies on all sides, attacked from both sides, I am at the end of my rope.
In that case, in that case...
I sneered, "You want to see me, right? You can't live without me, right? Well, as he wishes, let him see my corpse."
After saying that, I took out the broken porcelain pieces that I had prepared long ago from my arms and stabbed them into my heart.
I have a strong desire to commit suicide, but my accuracy in doing so has never been very good.
He didn't commit suicide in time in front of the Xuanzheng Hall, which led to all the troubles that followed. Every time he committed suicide, he was a little bit slower, and somehow he saved his life one after another, and finally survived to this day.
When I took out the broken porcelain pieces, I could almost hear the eunuch's heart pounding. He widened his eyes and screamed, "Quick! Stop her!"
The Jinwu Guards rushed forward in panic, but I had already calculated the distance. No matter how fast they came, they could not stop me from stabbing the porcelain shard into my heart.
If Li Siyan wants to see me, then I will leave this body to him and let him see me to his heart's content!
I closed my eyes and committed suicide.
Between life and death, the door behind me suddenly opened.
In a split second, someone hit me on the elbow with such ferocity that it nearly broke the joint.
Then came a brutal force that pressed me down on the deck. The porcelain fragment cut my palm and pierced his arm, and fell to the side stained with the fresh blood of both of us.
I struggled to pick it up, but a pair of black boots with dragon patterns appeared in my sight. They stepped on my fingers lightly and pressed me so hard that I couldn't move.
After a moment, the owner of the black boots moved his legs and slowly rubbed the blood off the soles of his shoes.
"It's quite neat this time. It seems that after a year of being out there, you've made some progress."
A lazy male voice sounded above my head, as gentle and playful as before, but now it sounded like thunder in a heavy rain to my ears.
After realizing what happened, the blood in my body began to run cold, and my hands, which were stepped on by him, lost feeling.
Li Siyan...it's him, he really came.
I fell into his hands again.
The courage I had just shown was completely driven away by the surging fear, and my lips began to tremble violently.
I turned around in fear and saw an extremely familiar face with fox eyes, a high nose bridge, and thin, slightly raised lips.
The glaring sunlight shone on his face, making his eyebrows and eyes sharp as a steel knife.
The Jinwu Guards retreated consciously, and in a short while, they all retreated to the edge of the deck, leaving enough space for their master and the wild birds that had escaped from home.
The man looked down at me with a smile on his face and a cold look in his eyes.
"Yingying, how are you?"
How are you? It sounds so ironic.
Neither of us was in good condition. My hands were cut and I was pinned to the ground. He was also very thin, with sunken cheeks. With his eyes that were red with hatred, he looked like a devil crawling out of hell.
My chin suddenly hurt. Li Siyan squatted down, pinched my cheeks, and forced me to raise my head.
I was like a swan with a broken neck, breathing laboriously in his hands.
He stared at my face, which was covered with dirt and mud, greedily for a long time. There was ecstasy of regaining what he had lost, but also strong hatred in his eyes.
My face was pale, my ears were ringing, and the wound on the palm of my hand was bleeding.
"Why did you run away? Yingying, tell me why?"
He asked softly, but didn't seem to expect an answer.
Because he also knew clearly that those warm days in the past were just his wishful dreams. I was always sober and always regarded him as a demon who took away the peaceful days.
Why? Because everything was wrong from the beginning. The people were wrong, the timing was wrong, and we were the last two people in the world who should be together.
I felt completely disheartened.
Seeing me stubbornly pursing my lips, his forced calmness and indifference finally broke, as if a pot of ice-cold water had been poured over his head. His limbs softened, and he half-knelt in front of me. A faint mist covered his scarlet eyes. He pinched my chin tightly and said, "Speak, speak!"
There was a barely perceptible cry in his voice.
"If you pretend to be dead again, I will have all your disciples buried with you!"
"Why? Because I don't want to spread my legs like a whore in front of my family's annihilating enemy!"
I hissed.
At that moment, the hatred that I felt almost burned me out.
He only knew how to threaten me with the person I loved. Time and time again, I wanted to cry and laugh. I didn't know where I got the strength from, but I endured the pain in my hands and stood up shakily.
I travelled day and night for days, exhausted, but in the end it was all in vain. My mind and body had reached their limits, and I was on the brink of madness.
The first step is a bottomless abyss, the second step is a cliff, leaving you in a dilemma.
He was as angry as I was, but his anger was mixed with a longing that I couldn't understand.
I keenly sensed this complex emotion, and perhaps out of revenge, I wanted to crush his fragile sincerity by any means necessary.
"I've had enough of this kind of humiliating life!"
"Go on." He stared at me, his voice cold and creepy.
"Li Siyan, asking me such a stupid question, aren't you childish? Yes, I escaped on my own. I planned it for a long time. When I was with you in the hot spring, in Hibiscus Garden, and in bed, I was thinking about escaping all the time!"
Since the passing of my father and brother, all the pain I have suffered and the coercion I have endured have accumulated in my heart, becoming a pool of bitterness. Now that I have opened my mouth, I can no longer stop.
"Do you know what it feels like to be touched by the murderer of your father? Let me tell you, every time you do that to me, I feel sick. It's as painful as a dull knife slicing at my heart. However, it's worth it to get you into bed with me. You really let your guard down around me. Do you think that a few small favors will make me leave you? I'm not that cowardly."
I think Li Siyan also understood this, but knowing it in his heart was different from actually hearing me say these unpleasant truths. I was pleased to see that he looked as if my words had pierced his heart and lungs. His face was grim and pale with pain, and a dark murderous aura gradually brewed in his eyes, as if it could swallow up the world.
Those times of laughter and quarrels, those times of close contact and support, he was fully committed, but I had ulterior motives. What a joke.
But I don't care about his pain at all. What a joke! He's been pressing me from the beginning. As the master of the game, what right does he have to show off his emotions in front of me? He doesn't deserve it!
I pointed at him and cursed like a mad woman, "You're nothing but a beast in a dragon robe. You've killed capable ministers, beheaded historians, and committed all sorts of evil. Even if you catch me today, I won't regret my decision. Even if I have to choose a thousand times, I'll still leave that damn place!"
He let me point at his nose and curse at him to my heart's content, and he also let me pull at the wound and stab it with new knives over and over again. I don't know from which sentence on, the sadness and anger in his eyes disappeared, replaced by an extreme emptiness.
"Are you done?"
After a long time, Li Siyan spoke.
The voice was extremely calm, without any ups and downs.
"What else can I say?" I looked up at the sky, half crying and half laughing. "After all, I am not as skilled as you. I can't hide from you. You can do whatever you want to me."
"Just one thing, the hatred between you and me must not affect others."
Li Siyan stood there in silence for a long while.
Perhaps confirming that his heart was truly broken, he raised the corners of his mouth and smiled silently.
"OK."
He said, "That's fine. If you don't mind me barking at your feet, then try my other tricks."
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