My love is gone forever, my sins are eternal.
Those fragments of memory, like the sharpest blade, repeatedly slashed through my mind, every detail so vivid it was suffocating. The image of Yunxi kneeling before the Heavenly Emperor, his blood-stained white robes, and the words, "A thousand years ago, I failed to protect those I should have protected," all told me a cruel truth—the source of this tragedy was far deeper than I had imagined.
I sat in the cave for three days and three nights. Outside, the sun and moon alternated, time flowed on, but they couldn't penetrate the gloom in my heart. I repeatedly stroked the stack of sketches in my arms, the edges of the paper already frayed. In each sketch, I smiled so innocently, completely unaware that I was walking step by step into an abyss.
At dawn on the fourth day, the clear chirping of birds echoed outside the cave. I slowly raised my head and watched the morning light filter through the cracks in the rocks, casting dappled shadows inside the cave. At that moment, I suddenly understood something.
The truth is no longer important. What matters is that Yunxi taught me with his life: love never needs a reason, nor does it require calculating gains and losses.
I stood up unsteadily, my legs numb from sitting for so long, and I almost fell. Leaning against the cold stone wall, I took a deep breath. Outside the cave, the morning dew was still fresh, and the grass and trees smelled sweet, but none of this could move me anymore.
It's time to put an end to all of this.
I found Ling Yuan at the edge of the cliff. He sat alone on the cliff edge, his black robes fluttering in the morning breeze, a pot of wine beside him. This lonely figure was completely different from the flamboyant and unrestrained man he usually was.
"I've figured it out." I walked to his side, my voice as calm as still water.
He slowly turned his head, a hint of surprise flashing in his peach blossom eyes, before he quickly regained his nonchalant expression: "Oh?"
"You won," I said, looking him straight in the eye, each word distinct. "But you also lost."
He raised an eyebrow, signaling me to continue.
"You've successfully revealed the so-called 'truth' to me, causing me pain, doubt, and tormenting me with regret." My voice remained calm, as if I were recounting something unrelated to myself. "But you'll never receive even a fraction of what he gave me, whether it was love or hate."
Ling Yuan's expression finally changed. He put down the wine pot, stood up, and his gaze sharp as a knife: "Are you so sure?"
"I'm sure." I met his gaze without flinching. "He loves me, so he'd rather his own soul be scattered than let me be harmed. He wouldn't even give me hatred, but you..."
I paused, my voice tinged with an indescribable pity: "You only deserve his guilt."
These words clearly stung him. Ling Yuan took a sudden step forward, his demonic energy surging: "What do you know? If it weren't for him a thousand years ago..."
"I don't need to understand," I interrupted him, my voice still calm. "The grudges of a thousand years ago are none of my concern. I only know that for the past thousand years, the person he chose to protect is me. Those days and nights of companionship, those silent acts of care, were all real."
I took out the crystal hairpin he had given me from my sleeve. In the sunlight, the hairpin reflected a mesmerizing light; the gift that had once captivated me now only felt ironic.
"Mo Xiaoyu," I said softly, as if giving a solemn farewell, "died today."
Before I could finish speaking, I exerted force with both hands, and the crystal hairpin snapped in two. The crisp sound of breaking echoed along the cliff edge, like a death knell tolling for my past naive and foolish self.
"What survived was merely a soul that existed for Yunxi."
Ling Yuan stared at the broken crystal hairpin, his expression complex and unreadable. For a fleeting moment, I thought I saw a hint of pain in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced by cold mockery.
"Truly moving," he sneered. "Unfortunately, he'll never see it."
"Whether he can see it or not is unimportant." I turned to leave. "What matters is that I know what I'm doing."
Just as I turned around, Ling Yuan suddenly spoke, his voice carrying an inexplicable urgency: "Wait."
I stopped walking, but I didn't turn around.
"Don't you want to know," his voice was slightly hoarse, "what exactly happened a thousand years ago? Why did he feel guilty towards me? Why did you awaken your sentience in the Jade Pool?"
My heart skipped a beat. These were questions I really wanted to know. But I knew that if I looked back, I would fall back into the fog he had woven.
"No." My answer was without hesitation. "Past grievances are irrelevant to me. What I need to do is protect his future."
After saying that, I continued walking forward. This time, Ling Yuan didn't stop me. But I could feel his gaze following my back until I disappeared at the end of the forest path.
I arrived at a wide-open mountaintop, where I could overlook the entire landscape. As the sun set, the evening glow painted the sky a poignant red, much like the scene when the clouds dissipate.
I knelt on the rocks at the mountain peak, slicing my palm with my fingertips. Blood dripped down the lines of my palm, blooming into poignant flowers on the rock.
"Heaven and earth bear witness," I said, looking up at the sky, my voice carrying clearly across the mountains and fields, "If Mo Xiaoyu cannot revive Yun Xi in this life, I am willing to suffer eternal loneliness, my soul scattered and never to be reincarnated."
The moment the oath was uttered, the heavens and earth changed color. A fierce wind arose, dark clouds gathered, and a bolt of lightning ripped through the sky, seemingly in response to my vow. I felt a powerful force descend from the heavens, deeply imprinted upon the depths of my soul. This was the oath of the inner demon, once sworn, it could never be broken.
If I fail to fulfill my vow, a fate more terrible than death awaits me—eternal solitude, meaning that even in reincarnation I will never be able to form any bond with anyone; my soul will be scattered, meaning I will completely disappear from this world; and I will not enter the cycle of reincarnation, meaning I will lose even the last chance to start over.
But I have no regrets.
The moment the inner demon was sworn in, the jade pendant in my arms suddenly trembled violently. A pure white light burst forth from the pendant, shooting straight into the sky, mingling with the power of heaven and earth. This light was so warm, so familiar, that I couldn't help but burst into tears.
What surprised me even more was that I clearly sensed a trace of the same aura as the jade pendant coming from a distant direction—it was his scattered soul!
The feeling was so clear, so real, that I almost wanted to kneel down and thank God. He heard me; he heard my vow; he was guiding me.
I gripped the jade pendant tightly, feeling that faint yet unwavering connection. In that moment, all the confusion and pain vanished, replaced by an unprecedented sense of steadfastness.
As I gazed at the setting sun gradually sinking below the horizon, I knew that the long night would eventually pass. And what I had to do was follow this feeling and embark on a journey to find him.
No matter what lies ahead, whether it be a mountain of knives, a sea of fire, or an abyss, I will not back down. Because this time, it is my turn to protect him.
Yunxi, wait for me.
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