In this vast and bustling world, my search for you began.
The lingering echo of the blood oath still resonated in my veins. I stood atop the mountain, letting the biting wind tear at my thin clothes. Blood still seeped from the wound on my palm, drop by drop, falling onto the charred rocks at my feet, like a silent sacrifice.
The oath of inner demons is etched into the depths of my soul, becoming, along with that warm jade pendant, my only remaining bond. Eternal solitude, the annihilation of my soul, and the impossibility of reincarnation… these terrible costs are as insignificant as dust before the fact of “losing him.”
I looked down at the jade pendant clutched tightly in my hand. It was no longer just a cold piece of jade, but proof of his existence, the last memory he left me, and the only meaning for my continued existence. That faint yet tenacious remnant of his soul, like a candle flickering in the wind, was the light source of my entire world.
“Yunxi…” I whispered this name, my voice breaking in the wind, hoarse from dried blood and tears. “No matter where you are, no matter how many hardships I have to endure, no matter how many desolate places I have to traverse, I will find you.”
This is not a vow, but a statement. A final proclamation from a soul that has lost everything to its destiny.
I took my first step, unsteady yet exceptionally resolute. The mountain peak behind me bore witness to our final parting; the vast world ahead was my journey to rekindle his life. I did not look back, nor could I. To look back would be a bone-deep regret, to move forward a faint hope. I chose hope, even if it was as weak and pitiful as the last ray of light about to be swallowed by the night.
I descended from the mountaintop and stepped into the mortal world. Here, there were no swirling clouds of the divine realm, no oppressive chill of demonic energy, only the most simple and genuine warmth of human life. Small bridges spanning flowing streams, wisps of smoke rising from chimneys, children laughing and playing, old people chatting… all this liveliness and vibrancy felt completely out of place for me. My heart was a desolate wasteland, its only lifeline clinging to the faint warmth I held in my arms.
The rain began to fall without warning, a steady drizzle that soaked my hair and clothes. The icy rain slid down my cheeks, mingling with my warm tears, indistinguishable from one another. I wandered aimlessly along the muddy path, like a lost soul. The rain blurred my vision, yet I stubbornly kept my eyes open, feeling the almost imperceptible pull emanating from the jade pendant in my bosom.
It points in a direction.
I staggered toward that direction. Every step felt like walking on a knife's edge; the exhaustion of my body and the wounds in my heart were threatening to crush me. Passersby cast surprised or pitying glances my way; perhaps in their eyes, I was just a disheveled, delirious madwoman.
I don't care.
My world has already collapsed, and all that's left is to find him.
After walking for an unknown amount of time, the rain gradually subsided. The outline of a small town appeared ahead, with its blue-tiled roofs and white walls, appearing tranquil and peaceful in the fresh post-rain air. At the town entrance stood a stone tablet inscribed with the three characters "Qingshui Town."
The moment I stepped into the town, the jade pendant in my arms suddenly became scorching hot.
This feeling was so clear, far more so than ever before!
My heart clenched suddenly, and I practically scrambled towards the direction where the feeling was strongest. Rain and tears blurred my vision again, but I didn't bother wiping them away. I just relied on instinct and that little bit of emotional connection to stumble and stagger across the wet cobblestone path.
At the end of the road was a simple study. The window was half-open, letting in warm candlelight.
I stopped and looked through the misty rain into the room.
A man dressed in simple white robes sat by the window, a book in his hand, his eyes lowered. The candlelight cast a soft shadow on his handsome profile, highlighting his focused expression and the serene aura he exuded, so different from the mundane world around him…
My breath caught in my throat.
It was him.
Even though reincarnation has washed away my memories, and even though the mortal world has obscured my divine light, I still recognized him at a glance.
That image is etched deep within my soul, the only thing I have looked up to throughout my thousand years of life.
Yunxi...
I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. Overwhelming grief and the ecstatic joy of regaining what I had lost surged into a tidal wave, instantly engulfing me. My legs gave way, and I collapsed to my knees in the cold rain, the mud staining my skirt, but I was oblivious.
She just greedily gazed at him through the window and the curtain of rain.
He seemed to notice the gaze from outside the window and slightly raised his eyes.
Our gazes, traversing the distance between life and death, and the boundary between gods and humans, briefly met in this drizzling rain of the mortal world.
His clear eyes held a hint of the curiosity and doubt that a mortal should have about unfamiliar things, but the unfathomable tenderness and silent affection of the past were gone.
He doesn't remember me.
A sharp pain, more intense than the backlash of the inner demon oath, pierced my heart.
I found him, but I lost Yunxi, who loved me deeply, forever.
The jade pendant in my arms was still warm, as if comforting me, or perhaps reminding me that the road ahead was still long.
I watched him lower his head again, focusing on the book in his hands, as if the disheveled woman outside the window was just an insignificant interlude in his peaceful life.
The rain lashed against my body with its chill, yet I felt no cold. A deeper chill, a coldness, spread from the very depths of my heart, freezing my limbs and bones.
I huddled in the rain, burying my face in my knees, my shoulders trembling uncontrollably. There were no cries, only silent, desperate sobs.
I found them, but we were already strangers.
This might be a crueler punishment than never finding them again.
And this is only the beginning of my path to redemption.
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