separate
"If I'm not looking forward to it, I'll be scared." Xia Zhitang stuck to the door, not daring to move. "But the scariest thing is that you disappear before my eyes."
"Since I'm so important, why did you give up on me?" Lin Jingming's face slowly approached Xia Zhitang, "And why did you run back so eagerly?"
"Lin Jingming, why are you so obsessed with love?" Xia Zhitang trembled all over, but did not avoid Lin Jingming's pressing gaze. "There are many kinds of direct connections between people."
"Because, I fucking dream about kissing you and having a deeper contact with you." Lin Jingming suddenly let go of Xia Zhitang, walked into the room with a sneer, and closed the door with a "bang".
Xia Zhitang slowly slid to the ground, leaning against the door and looking confusedly at the white rain outside the window.
When Lin Jingming changed his clothes and came out, Xia Zhitang was squatting on the ground sorting out the scattered documents.
He threw a set of clean clothes in front of Xia Zhitang: "Change into them."
Xia Zhitang looked down at his wet clothes, then silently walked into the bathroom and changed into Lin Jingming's clothes.
Lin Jingming, who was sitting in front of the floor-to-ceiling window watching the rain, heard the noise and turned around to look, and was stunned.
Xia Zhitang, dressed in his homely clothes, has a unique charm, and every gesture seems to be tainted with his own flavor.
"Is there a dryer?" Xia Zhitang asked while holding his clothes.
"The balcony over there." Lin Jingming turned his face away and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.
Coming out of the kitchen, Xia Zhitang took out a pen and paper and wrote densely on the schedule.
Lin Jingming couldn't help but move closer, and saw that it had written on it the hours' worth of cleaning, meal orders, flower orders, follow-up appointments, and medication times.
"Do you really think you are the hostess of my place?" He snatched the paper from Xia Zhitang's hand and tore it into pieces.
"Xia Zhitang, you're so cruel." Snow-white pieces of paper fluttered in Lin Jingming's hands, just like his broken heart. "I wish you had never given me hope."
"Lin Jingming, I used to hate you." Xia Zhitang looked up at Lin Jingming, "I hated that you wanted me to be your lover even though you already had a family."
She stared at Lin Jingming's left ring finger, where there used to be a dazzling diamond ring.
"You know what? It took me the most energy in my life to escape from you."
"So I deserve it?" Lin Jingming said self-deprecatingly, "I deserve to see it but never be able to touch it?"
"Why do you have to possess?" Xia Zhitang felt very tired. She didn't understand what the key point between the two of them was, and why they kept going around in circles in a useless argument.
"Maybe it's because I'm not a saint." Lin Jingming knew that Xia Zhitang was still in his presence because he had never truly crossed her line. But in his current state, he was unwilling to accept it. He didn't want Xia Zhitang to leave.
"Come back and work on the project with me." He reiterated his request.
Xia Zhitang was silent.
"This is what I've always wanted. You're the one who's afraid." Lin Jingming's fingertips lingered on Xia Zhitang's face. "You're afraid that you won't be able to control your feelings for me again. You're afraid of losing Gu Zian. You're also afraid that I'll die in front of you."
He smiled and moved closer to Xia Zhitang, his nose close to her face, feeling her uncontrollable trembling.
"Xia Zhitang, you are just a greedy coward." His breath sprayed on her face, "You want everything, but you dare not sacrifice anything."
"Remember the first lesson I taught you?" He gently stroked her face with his calloused fingertips. "You don't have to use all the footage you've shot. Prioritize what you want and edit out anything irrelevant."
Lin Jingming slowly distanced himself from Yu Xia Zhitang: "You are the only one who makes my life interesting. You are my priority."
After he finished speaking, he turned and walked to the French window and continued watching the rain.
After that, Xia Zhitang would do whatever he asked him to do, but he just refused to pay attention to her and would just stare at the rain in a daze whenever he had free time.
After leaving Lin Jingming's house, Xia Zhitang sat in the car and sent a message to Cheng Shubai: [Sometimes I don't know if the problem is with him or me.]
She sighed, put her phone down, and leaned on the steering wheel to catch her breath.
After a while, Cheng Shubai called.
"How's Lao Lin?"
"Except for the lack of fighting spirit, everything else is fine." Xia Zhitang sighed, "It seems like he has lost his fresh popularity."
"At least you are willing to receive treatment and eat." Cheng Shubai comforted her.
"Do you think I was wrong from the beginning? I shouldn't have had anything to do with him after 'The Blue Luan Tribulation'." Xia Zhitang leaned back in his seat, staring at the dripping water outside the window in a daze.
"You know, Mingyue and I were also destined to be together from the beginning." Cheng Shubai's voice was a little lonely, "But now it has come to an end."
During the phone call, he paused and continued, "Later, I asked a master, and he said that once you break through your obsession, your fate ends, and all opportunities are just illusions in your mind."
"I can't understand such philosophical things. I just want to solve the problem." Xia Zhitang was rarely confused.
“Maybe once you understand, all the problems will no longer be problems.”
"Do you understand?" Xia Zhitang asked back.
In response to her, Cheng Shubai gave an infinitely bitter answer: "Mingyue understands."
After returning home, Gu Zian sat under a solitary lamp, holding his phone in a daze.
Xia Zhitang felt a little better when she saw her lover waiting for her.
"Zi'an." She walked over and wanted to hug Gu Zi'an to get some warmth, but he subtly avoided her.
"Sister, where did you go today?" Gu Zian's tone was a little unhappy.
Xia Zhitang instantly felt that today was destined to be an uneasy day: "I went back to the company in the morning, and went to the hospital in the afternoon to pick up Lin Jingming from the hospital."
"Lin Jingming, it's Lin Jingming again." Gu Zian suddenly roared at Xia Zhitang: "Am I your boyfriend or is he?"
"You are." Xia Zhitang understood Gu Zian's frustration. From a worldly perspective, she was indeed not a competent girlfriend.
"Sister, you know I am. Why, why do you still want to be entangled with him?" Gu Zian's eyes were red. "I feel like I am just a fool, quietly watching you two go out together, and I can't do anything."
"I'm sorry, it's my fault." At this moment, Xia Zhitang remembered what Lin Jingming said. She was too greedy. She wanted everything but could not do anything well.
"Apologize, what's the point of your apology?" Gu Zian stared at Xia Zhitang with tears in his eyes. "You choose, him or me."
She had thought that one day she would face such a choice, but she had never thought it would happen so soon.
Xia Zhitang held back her tears and smiled, trying not to look too ugly: "Emotionally, I choose you, but I can't give up on him now."
"Is this your answer?" Gu Zian stared at Xia Zhitang without giving up.
"Yes." She closed her eyes sadly, and a tear slid down her cheek.
Gu Zian slowly turned his eyes away: "Let's break up."
Xia Zhitang felt as if his heart had been hit hard to the point of numbness.
She was stunned for a moment and said with difficulty: "Okay."
Gu Zian's figure swayed, and he suppressed the urge to regret.
Xia Zhitang slowly turned around, looked at the house they had decorated together with some nostalgia, slowly walked to the entrance, and pushed the door open.
When he opened the car door, Xia Zhitang realized that he was still wearing slippers.
The rain that had been falling all day had just stopped, and the air was crisp and cool. Xia Zhitang sat numbly in the cab, looking at the clear sky without stars, feeling a little confused.
The beginning and end of this relationship were so sudden, unexpected, yet reasonable.
But what should she do next?
At nine o'clock in the morning, Xia Zhitang pushed open the door of Lin Jingming's house on time with breakfast.
Lin Jingming, who was sitting by the window watching the shadows cast by the sunlight, heard the noise and turned to glance at her: "What's wrong with your eyes?"
"Have breakfast." Xia Zhitang didn't want to tell Lin Jingming about her and Gu Zian. "I have to go back to the company this afternoon. You can stay home alone or come with me to find Lao Cheng."
Lin Jingming didn't answer her. Xia Zhitang was used to it and stuffed the warm breakfast into his hands: "You like pancakes."
He glanced down and began to chew slowly.
Xia Zhitang sighed, opened the mobile app and ordered a part-time cleaner to come and clean the house.
After having lunch with Lin Jingming at noon, Xia Zhitang drove back to the company alone.
When Xia Zhitang handed Cheng Shubai the resignation report, he looked at it several times and asked, "What's wrong with you?"
"Zi'an and I broke up." Xia Zhitang said with a wry smile, pinching the diamond ring pendant hanging on his chest.
"When?" Cheng Shubai was a little bit unbelievable.
"Last night, after I talked to you on the phone."
"You proposed it? You chose Lao Lin?" Cheng Shubai was full of doubts.
"He suggested it. He couldn't accept that I had to take care of Lin Jingming all the time." Xia Zhitang said with a wry smile.
"The Gu family has not withdrawn its previous investment so far." Cheng Shubai held Xia Zhitang's resignation letter and did not want to sign it.
"I want to rest." Xia Zhitang sighed and said, "I will slowly hand over the things on hand."
"How about this? I'll sign you up for an independent producer contract." Cheng Shubai suppressed her resignation application. "Zi'an isn't a heartless person. The resources he's given you are enough for you to make money for a few years. Xiaoxia, don't get too ambitious. What can you do now without money?"
Xia Zhitang wanted to refuse, but Cheng Shubai suppressed her forcefully: "Just consider it as a thank you gift for securing Su's resources for the Gu family. Exchanging these resources for a few investments is nothing."
"I haven't been in the mood to work lately."
"Hand over your work and take a break first." Cheng Shubai didn't push her. "Come back next week to revise the contract."
"Don't tell Lin Jingming." Xia Zhitang suddenly looked at Cheng Shubai before leaving, "Don't tell him about my breakup with Zi'an."
Cheng Shubai was a little surprised: "Are you determined not to give him a chance?"
Xia Zhitang himself was also very confused: "I currently have no desire to form a new intimate relationship."
"What are your plans next?" Cheng Shubai has always been practical.
"Let's wait until Lin Jingming recovers."
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