Chapter 30 Hot Bath woc...what big...pecs! …
"Your Majesty, since you are going to the Han Palace to escape the summer heat, why not bring along a few princes and the concubines who will serve you."
Su Mian tried to speak as tactfully as possible, fearing that the dog emperor would realize that she was using him. Little did she know that all her little thoughts had been heard by Cheng Changgeng without a single leak.
Hearing his words, Cheng Changgeng felt inexplicably strange. He thought Su Mian was really trying to gain benefits for him, but he didn't expect that after going around in circles, he still couldn't avoid the men in the harem.
Cheng Changgeng didn't understand why Su Mian was so close to those men now. It was only a month, and weren't they the only ones who were with them day and night?
Could it be that I have been too harsh on him recently?
Finally he sighed softly, thinking that it was not a big deal and just let him be.
"Okay, I promise you."
It was obvious that he cared a lot, but his tone of voice was flat and one could not tell that he was happy. Su Mian was very nervous, but fortunately the issue of the jackpot was resolved, so he lived up to everyone's expectations.
So, the trip to Han Palace was decided, the date was ten days later, and the gourmet banquet was three days later.
After all the trouble, Cheng Changgeng was tired, so he ordered dinner.
He originally thought that since they hadn't spoken for the past few days and he was so cold to him, Su Mian would definitely be cautious in his words and actions and behave like he did last time when he tasted the food.
But he underestimated Su Mian's self-healing ability. He was greedy and forgetful, and had long forgotten about his concerns that day.
When the food was placed on the table, Su Mian's eyes lit up. Although he would go to Qin Caizi's house for meals from time to time, although home-cooked meals were good, he still needed to have a big meal occasionally.
The Dog Emperor’s dinner is a veritable feast.
The emo of the past few days has disappeared completely in the busyness of the past few days. He even discovered through observing Su Mian that the Dog Emperor was particularly cold to him and definitely did not like him.
He firmly believed that it was just an accident and he should just serve as usual but not let himself down.
[Although the dog emperor is a bit beastly, he is usually quite generous to me and has not punished me because of my identity as a fake eunuch. I can only survive by holding on to his thighs! ]
Su Mian stuffed food into his mouth and nodded his head to agree with what he was thinking. His mouth was full of food.
[The dog emperor is handsome and has a good figure. Although I suffered a little loss down there, it was not a big loss. ]
[As long as the dog emperor doesn’t get fooled again, my ass will definitely be saved! ]
Su Mian finally convinced herself.
Listening to his mumblings in his mind, Cheng Changgeng tried hard to keep a straight face, but the corners of his mouth were trembling uncontrollably, and he tried hard not to smile.
How can this little guy be so interesting?
Cheng Changgeng felt that raising Su Mian was more interesting than raising a pet.
After eating and drinking, and serving Cheng Changgeng dinner, Su Mian stood in the corridor outside the palace to admire the moon. It was almost the fifteenth day of the lunar month. Although it was not Mid-Autumn Festival, Su Mian couldn't help feeling a little melancholy when looking at the full moon.
[I don’t know what’s happening to me in reality, whether I’m dead or a vegetable. ]
A gust of wind blew by, and Su Mian felt a little chilly. He rubbed his arms, but before he had time to think more, Cheng Changgeng called him into the hall.
"Su Mian."
"The slave is here!"
[My dear ancestor, what are you calling me for? ]
Su Mian sighed in his heart, when will this 997 days end?
Su Mian walked into the hall with his head raised and his tired body dragged. Seeing Cheng Changgeng busy reviewing memorials, he suddenly felt balanced. At least he didn't have to write reports when working overtime!
Su Mian raised the whisk in her hand, straightened her back happily, walked over and asked:
"Your Majesty, what do you want?"
Cheng Changgeng didn't even raise his head, and replied in a distracted manner: "Take this cake and deal with it. I don't like sweet things."
"Oh, okay."
Su Mian was delighted.
This snack was sent by Huang Guijun in the afternoon. Su Mian felt greedy when he saw it, but he could only look at it but couldn't eat it, which made him feel itchy.
I didn't expect that the opportunity would come now.
Originally he only ate half full, but after eating this snack, he was about 70% full.
Su Mian walked out with the plate in his hand, and he no longer remembered the vague melancholy he had just felt, and had completely forgotten about it.
One more bite of dessert and all the worries and tiredness will disappear.
[It’s delicious, delicious, ah, I’m happy.] ]
Cheng Changgeng, who was reviewing memorials, felt his pen tremble slightly and a drop of ink fell on the paper, but he didn't care. Instead, he shook his head with a smile in his eyes.
An unknown amount of time had passed before Su Mian dozed off beside Cheng Changgeng. Cheng Changgeng put down his pen and stretched, then glanced sideways and saw Su Mian standing unsteadily, with the whisk in his hand dangling from his arm and about to fall off.
If you look closely, you can even see the crumbs from the snacks he secretly ate at the corners of his mouth.
Cheng Changgeng subconsciously reached out his hand and wanted to wipe it for him, but when he thought of how Su Mian had finally gotten rid of her concern for him, he pulled his hand back.
It was also at this time that Su Mian tilted his head, paused for a moment, and then woke up.
[Oh my god, I was so scared.] ]
He met Cheng Changgeng's gaze, feeling as if he was caught sleeping in class by the teacher, or slacking off at work by the boss. He was terrified.
In his eyes, Cheng Changgeng's originally caring look now seemed like the reincarnation of the King of Hell spying on him.
So, while his head was still confused, his body reacted first. His legs went limp and he fell to his knees with a thump.
"Your Majesty, please forgive me."
Su Mian's knees hurt so much from this kneeling, and Cheng Changgeng was also stunned by his kneeling.
Then he realized what was happening. Cheng Changgeng laughed in his heart. He didn't plan to torment him anymore. He was just tired. He rubbed his brows and planned to take a bath and rest. So he didn't think much and ordered: "Go prepare hot water and serve me a bath."
Little did he know that Su Mian's world had collapsed.
[No way, system, am I going to get punished so soon? ]
Su Mian's first reaction was that the wish he made to the system had come true, the Dog Emperor was happy, and he would have to give the Dog Emperor a bath for the rest of his life.
This is not the most frightening thing. What he fears more is that if it is like the previous two times, he loses his right hand once and his buttocks once, then he will really have to say goodbye to his identity as a straight man.
[No—I don’t want to sell my ass! I'm straight! I'm straight! I’m a straight guy…]
Su Mian felt that he had been reciting silently too little recently, and it was not enough to strengthen his will!
Cheng Changgeng was originally a simple-minded person who just wanted to take a hot bath to relieve his fatigue, but after hearing Su Mian's chaotic crying in her heart, he became distracted.
This little fellow is used to torturing people, he thought to himself.
"What are you standing there for? Go quickly."
Cheng Changgeng just wanted to take a quiet hot bath and had no intention of bothering Su Mian, but he naturally wouldn't explain it specifically. Asking him to rub his body was something he deserved for doing him a favor.
“Yes… yes.”
Su Mian hurriedly got up from the ground and stumbled as he walked out. His mind was working wildly, wondering how he would escape if the Dog Emperor made a move.
After boiling water, I poured it into the bathtub and returned to the familiar screen.
Compared to the first time, Su Mian became very nervous. He looked around and found that the flower petals, milk, and... that thing had all been taken away.
With a slight sigh of relief, Su Mian adjusted the water temperature. He did everything himself from beginning to end, fearing that some strange medicine would be added.
He really felt that he was destined to be incompatible with this kind of medicine. Even a dog emperor was useless. He would be affected at any time and he didn't know when he would die.
Su Mian is so disappointed with his friend! The Hateful Dog Emperor is not Iron Man and cannot be immune to all poisons!
After Cheng Changgeng entered the room, he saw Su Mian standing next to the wooden barrel as if he was facing a great enemy, guarding the barrel without blinking.
"come over."
He waved towards Su Mian.
Su Mian was stunned for two seconds, then walked over nervously clutching the corner of his clothes, taking a deep breath and cheering himself up.
[It's okay, Su Mian, you can do it, just take off his clothes. I'm a straight man, I'm a straight man, I'm a eunuch, I'm a eunuch. ]
Su Mian didn't know that he was pretending to be calm and had a bitter face, which made him look easier to bully.
Cheng Changgeng turned his gaze away from him and took the initiative to open his arms to make it easier for Su Mian to undress him.
But Su Mian was too nervous and his brain froze. He thought Cheng Changgeng was silently threatening him, so he bit his lip, closed his eyes, and hugged Cheng Changgeng around the waist.
Um?
Cheng Changgeng was hugged tightly. The sudden physical contact made his heart skip a beat, and then it started beating very fast, and his ears turned red.
"Who bullied you?"
Unable to hear Su Mian's inner voice, Cheng Changgeng could only guess whether someone outside was bullying him, otherwise why would he look so aggrieved.
The two people each had their own thoughts and misinterpreted each other's meanings.
It was Su Mian who came to her senses when she heard Cheng Changgeng's unusually gentle tone. She immediately let go of Cheng Changgeng's waist and pretended that she was just trying to untie his belt.
[Taishe is dead, how did the dead hand get up there? But why is the Dog Emperor suddenly so gentle? Is it a system bug that made the Dog Emperor ooc? ]
After hearing this, Cheng Changgeng realized that Su Mian had misunderstood and took the initiative to hug him, but he did not expose her and let Su Mian take off his coat.
When she reached the last floor, Su Mian looked away, pretending to be calm and taking off all her clothes. Her heart was beating very fast and she felt like she was about to suffocate.
[They are all men, it’s no big deal. Aren’t there only naked men in the Northeast bathhouses? There’s nothing to be afraid of! ]
After repeatedly giving herself enough psychological hints, Su Mian made up her mind and tried to get used to serving the dog emperor in taking a bath through forced desensitization.
But he turned his head.
[Woc, what big... pectoral muscles. ]
[So hard! abdominal muscles. ]
Su Mian has already forgotten to emphasize that he is a straight man.
Cheng Changgeng naturally enjoyed listening to the "dirty words" in his head, and the two of them performed their respective duties in such a weird atmosphere.
One serves, the other enjoys.
After this bath, Cheng Changgeng felt comfortable and had a great time, and Su Mian rubbed his body very vigorously.
But when Su Mian came out of the house, she covered her face and ran straight to her room, and did not stop no matter how Xiao Dezi shouted at her.
Cheng Changgeng didn't know what was wrong with him. He just waited until Su Mian walked away, and then he heard these words indistinctly:
[It’s over, it’s over, I’m reacting to men, no, I’m straight! ! ! ]
Yes, that’s right, Su Mian’s disappointing Shi Geng has changed.
——
Su Mian tossed and turned after a bad night of sleep, and finally fell into a drowsy sleep at dawn.
"Eunuch Su, Eunuch Su."
Su Mian was awakened by a knock on the door. He sat up suddenly from the bed, and the first thing he did was to lift the quilt and look underneath.
Fortunately, it was just a dream.
What you think about during the day you will dream about at night. Last night he dreamed that he was lying on the dog emperor's bed, and the scene was exactly the same as the posture in Wei Ceqing's pornographic book.
So shameful! How abominable!
Su Mian scratched his head as if to vent his anger, climbed out of the bed and gulped down a cup of cold tea. After taking a few deep breaths, he tidied his clothes and opened the door, only to find that it was Xiao Dezi standing at the door.
"What's the matter, Xiao Dezi, so anxious about?"
Looking at Xiao Dezi's expression, it seemed like something big had happened.
"Eunuch Su, Consort Jiang and Consort Shen are fighting in the back garden. The Emperor is discussing matters with the ministers in the Mingzheng Hall and asked me to call you over to handle it."
"Where is the Emperor?"
Following Xiao Dezi, Su Mian couldn't help but wonder, when would it be his turn as the eunuch in charge to handle the affairs of the harem? He was confused when he first came here. Shouldn't this kind of thing be handled by the royal prince?
"Your Majesty is ill."
"oh."
After thinking about it carefully, Su Mian remembered that every time something like this happened, the emperor would be ill, and this was why the problem fell on him. Over time, it became his job.
[It’s really damn annoying. Not only do I have to serve the boss, I also have to serve his mistresses. ]
Su Mian rushed to the back garden angrily. He was now angrier than a ghost!
He rolled up his sleeves, ready to fight at any time.
When he hurried to the back garden, he saw a group of people already gathered there. Before Su Mian got close, he heard some shouting. At first glance, he saw Rong Ceqing and Qin Caizi, each holding a handful of melon seeds, cracking them and watching the fun.
"What are you doing?"
Su Mian walked over very naturally, took a melon seed from Rong Ceqing's palm and started cracking it.
"Well, yesterday the newly appointed Jiang Ceqing accidentally tore Shen Ceqing's clothes, and a fight broke out."
"tear?"
Su Mian opened her eyes wide and took another melon seed: "Why are you tearing my clothes for no reason?"
He was still wondering if these men were too idle and he had to find something for them to do.
"Well, Jiang Ceqing accidentally cut it while practicing swordplay."
"Why not just apologize? Why start a fight?"
After Su Mian asked, Qin Caizi, who had been silent the whole time, took over the conversation: "Why else? The emperor."
Su Mian clearly saw that when Qin Caizi mentioned the dog emperor, he subconsciously rolled his eyes, and then put a handful of peeled melon seeds into Rong Ceqing's hand, smiling and saying, "Eat it."
Su Mian said: I got it!
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