Chapter 24 On the boat (6)...
Irene held up the hem of her skirt and took bigger and bigger steps. Leo followed her without knowing what was going on.
To be honest, he still didn't understand why Irene was angry. After they came out of the room, Irene didn't say a word to him, but just walked forward with an expressionless face.
Was it because Edward cheated on her with another woman? Leo wondered anxiously, but his intuition told him that Irene was angry for more than that. He even began to reflect on whether he had squeezed Irene too hard when he hugged her.
Irene suddenly stopped and looked back. Her dark eyes were emotionless. She just stared at Leo steadily, without any change in the tone of her voice. She was like a reef in the deep sea, hidden beneath the calm water, waiting for the ship to pass.
Leo heard her unnaturally calm voice ringing in his ears, and because the tone was so gentle, it even sounded like it was floating from a distant horizon.
She said, "Leo, don't force me and don't try to restrain me anymore. I just want a private space that belongs to me and you won't invade it."
"Is that okay?"
In order to show gentleness, Irene raised the last syllable of her voice slightly, as if she was negotiating.
But they both knew clearly in their hearts that the peace between them was fake, but the fact that Irene didn't want to be disturbed by him was real.
This resistance was clearly evident in Irene's tone of voice and her trembling eyelashes.
A chill spread from the soles of Leo's feet to his entire body, and the boy was frozen in place.
There was only one sentence left in his mind - Irene knew it all.
The woman stared at him steadily, her eyes as clear as lake water, clearly seeing through the dirty thoughts in his mind that could not be escaped.
Those unspeakable thoughts - wanting to force her to be his own, wanting him to be the only one around her, wanting her to see only him.
Moreover, he even wanted to die with her - sinking into the dark seabed in each other's arms, and their bodies being eaten by whales. How could this not be a tangling of flesh, bones and blood.
These absurd and dark thoughts were exposed nakedly in front of Irene, and he didn't even understand how Irene could see into his heart.
Could she read minds?
Leo couldn't help but take a step back, pressing his palm against his heart that was about to jump out of his chest due to panic.
*
Irene looked at Leo quietly. She thought the boy could understand what she was saying. From the attic to the study, and now to the banquet hall, Leo always followed her silently, like a shadow.
But she was unwilling to accept this kind of peeping in the dark again. She wanted Leo to stand in front of her and speak frankly instead of forcing her to follow his own ideas.
The moment she heard Edward's voice in the room, she knew what Leo had misunderstood.
He simply thought that she was having an affair with Edward, and he 'happened' to find out that Edward was having an affair with another woman, so he wanted her to see with her own eyes that Edward was a scumbag.
As for why he noticed Edward, it was probably because Leo saw her and Edward looking at each other when they got on the ship, or because he saw Edward handing her the invitation.
Then the reason why Leo spent money to go to the banquet hall was clear. It was obvious that he was suspicious of her relationship with Edward.
But why did he doubt it but not question her in person?
Irene took a deep breath. She thought that anger and powerlessness would intertwine and impact her nerves, but in fact, Irene's brain was blank, and her emotions seemed to be cut out of her body. Her reason told her that she should be angry, but she was calm, almost like a stagnant pool of water.
She could even think rationally about what Leo was thinking.
First of all, the reason why Leo misunderstood her relationship with Edward was probably because of the dance, and he didn't know how he knew that Edward wanted to kill "Irene".
He thought Edward wanted to kill her, so he arrived just in time when the chandelier fell.
This shows that Leo's concern for her has reached an almost pathological level, or that Leo's own mental state has serious problems.
Looking back now, everything has a traceable path. Ever since she entered the attic above the cotton warehouse, it seemed as if there was an extra shadow behind her - the figure outside the study window, the heavily creased pants, and the ring marks that even Tina and Lily couldn't find.
From the very beginning, he had been watching everything about her like a ghost. Maybe he even knew that her money was stolen from the dowry box.
She was like a bamboo shoot with its protective layers peeled off, her defenseless side exposed to Leo.
This speculation made Irene shudder. Her lips were wet and painful, and the tip of her tongue tasted the salty blood behind the fear.
No wonder Leo was unusually silent after she made up the excuse. He was probably looking at her as if she were a clown.
The shame of having her lie exposed made Irene's face turn red, and being forced by Leo to see Edward's affair turned the shame into anger.
The feeling of having no privacy at all in front of others almost drove her crazy, and the fear that she couldn't even protect herself swept over her.
It was as if she was back to the time when she was kicked out of the house barefoot in her thin pajamas at 1:30 in the morning in the dead of winter - just because there was an unsigned love letter in her schoolbag, which became evidence of her lack of education.
Explanations are futile, as it was clearly her schoolbag, but everyone except her could arbitrarily fabricate the origins of the items in the bag.
'He thought' - a deep feeling of powerlessness completely overwhelmed Irene. These three words were like a curse. No matter in modern times or in the present, she had always been stared at by these three words 'he thought'.
No one cares about the truth, and most people wishfully believe in the facts they see with their own eyes.
Now these people also include Leo.
Although she knew that it was not just Leo's fault, and that she could not vent her anger on the boy due to the shadow of her past; even she knew that Leo's character flaws must have come from his previous misfortunes.
But if she tried to understand Leo, who would sympathize with Irene, who would tell her—
You are not a pawn in someone else's hands. You control your own life. You are independent in personality and free in spirit.
You have always been respected as an independent individual.
She protected others, who will protect her?
Irene closed her eyes tightly and looked at Leo as if she had made up her mind. There seemed to be water on the woman's eyelashes, but her tone was firm and sharp, like a spear, piercing deep into Leo's heart.
"You are the one standing outside the study window, right? You are the one rummaging through my clothes, right? Then the dagger on my leg is also yours, right?"
Sure enough, the boy's facial nerves twitched as if uncontrollably, his face became paler, and blood appeared on his lips, as if they had been bitten very hard.
Leo was almost frightened to death. He couldn't even feel his own body and could only hear the deafening sound of the sea breeze.
Fortunately - Leo's Adam's apple rolled twice - fortunately Irene did not discover his evil thoughts, fortunately she was not proficient in mind reading.
He still has time and opportunity to make himself better and more worthy of Irene.
*
White waves hit the hull, and rain fell on the deck. The heavy and cold shirt stuck to Leo's skin, and a few strands of his hair were wet and stuck to his forehead. The sea breeze was freezing cold.
The boy's face was as pale as a wax figure, and the color of his pupils seemed to have turned from blue to black due to excessive shock. His pupils were dilated, like a frightened cat, as if he had forgotten even how to speak.
Irene really wanted to have a big fight with Leo, but how could she quarrel with a mute?
When she thought of Leo just staring at her with his eyes open, she felt a sense of powerlessness, like punching cotton.
She could probably understand why Leo was reluctant to ask her what happened, but no matter what the reason was, he could not force her to do anything that seriously went against her personal will.
For example, eavesdropping on Edward's private life, or pinching her jaw like a kitten or puppy.
She had to let Leo know that this was not right.
But when she thought of how Leo cried while kissing her last time, Irene couldn't help but soften her heart.
How should I tell him this? How should I let Leo know what the normal way for people to get along with each other is?
This is even more difficult than choosing the topic for her doctoral thesis, and it makes her feel overwhelmed.
Irene weighed her words like a contact-stressed cat.
"Don't you think your previous behavior was excessive? Especially sneaking into my room and rummaging through things without my permission. You were invading my privacy."
Leo looked at Irene blankly. He had no concept of privacy. He had always slept on a discarded blanket since he was a child. At night, he would spread out the blanket and lie down wherever it was clean.
He didn't know what he had done wrong, and he didn't know why Irene looked at him with such helplessness. He was like a criminal who was suddenly sentenced to death and didn't even have the right to appeal.
Instinct urged him to grab the corner of Irene's clothes, but his feet seemed to be cast in place, and he could only wait helplessly for the guillotine to fall.
Irene closed her eyes tightly, and for the first time she was so shocked that she was speechless.
No, isn't Leo a bastard from a noble family? How come he doesn't even have the most basic sense of rights? It's hard for Irene to imagine how oppressive the family environment must be to make Leo have no sense of privacy.
No matter how extreme the East Asian families are, they would never persecute their children like this. Irene didn't know how to communicate with Leo.
"Forget it, I'll tell you about these things later." When Leo heard Irene sigh heavily, his whole body tensed up and he felt so inexplicably guilty that he didn't even dare to raise his head.
"I'm going to find another Miss Irene. Will you come with me?"
The woman's voice rang in his ears, and Leo couldn't believe his ears, because Irene's tone was much gentler than he had imagined.
He didn't even hear what Irene said, he just hurriedly grabbed the corner of Irene's clothes, like a child who had gotten into a big disaster and could only seek shelter in a daze.
Now it didn't seem like an immediate execution, but more like a slow slicing of death. Leo followed Irene anxiously all the way to the door of another Miss Irene.
Irene stood in front of the door and turned her head to whisper to Leo, "Don't break into other people's rooms without permission, don't climb through the windows, and don't pry open the doors."
"Now, knock politely and ask questions, like I did."
“——Dongdong”
After a while, the door opened and another Miss Irene, who was dressed casually, poked her head out.
"Excuse me--"
Before she could finish her words, her tongue froze as if it was tied when she saw Irene.
Irene smiled, "Good evening, Miss Irene, did you know that your husband wants to kill you?"
"Bang--"
Leo dragged Irene back abruptly.
The door was closed.
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