Chapter 49 Chapter 49 Two Idiots (Daily Update + Nutrient Solution 10w...
"Brother Yuan, you..." Pei Shuo looked embarrassed. "What should I say?"
His brain was working fast, thinking frantically about how to answer this question perfectly without arousing Lin Jianyuan's suspicion.
In fact, the difficulty was not in preventing Lin Jianyuan from becoming suspicious, but in that he did not know what image this legendary roommate held in Lin Jianyuan's mind!
What if the answer is wrong? Wouldn't Brother Yuan immediately know that they are all colluding to deceive him?
No, this is absolutely not possible!
Brother Yuan just got discharged from the mental hospital!
What if I get stimulated again and my condition gets worse?
Pei Shuo looked embarrassed, trying hard to play the role of an awkward younger brother who didn't know how to comment on his sister-in-law's appearance.
At the same time, Lin Jianyuan's brain was working rapidly.
Try your best to play the role of an older brother who is genuinely curious about his younger brother's opinion of his sister-in-law's appearance.
After all... after all, he doesn't know what his wife looks like.
No, that’s not the case.
It should be said that he doesn't know what his wife looks like in the eyes of others.
This is really fatal.
Lin Jianyuan was actually a little worried before. What if his roommate knew that he thought he was a piece of shit, would he scare him away?
Now that his roommate has become his wife, he is even more anxious.
Then it’s not a question of being scared away.
He was afraid of hurting his wife's feelings.
Although he rationally felt that his wife would not leave him because of his illness, after all, his wife had been hospitalized with him and knew his condition.
But anxiety is not something that can be controlled just by rationally understanding it.
Otherwise, what is called anxiety?
Lin Jianyuan is already a mental patient, so it is reasonable to add another diagnosis of anxiety disorder.
In short, at this moment, both Lin Jianyuan and Pei Shuo were trying hard to act.
Both of them were thinking hard about how to answer each other without showing any emotion.
Unfortunately, neither of them had the correct answer.
After all, there are only two questions in the question.
male.
undergrad.
That’s all.
There are countless ways to arrange and combine the appearance of male college students!
How the hell am I supposed to guess!!!
"Brother Yuan, please let me go." Pei Shuo struggled for a long time, and finally gave up. "No matter what I say, it's not appropriate. After all... after all, she is my sister-in-law."
Lin Jianyuan thought about it and agreed.
If Pei Shuo dared to say that his wife was not good-looking, he would definitely be angry.
Didn't you see how gorgeous his wife is? How could she not be pretty?
Look at that pink intestine! The regularly secreting liver, gallbladder, spleen, and pancreas! The elastic stomach!
So healthy, so energetic, so vibrant!
And I love to clean! Smells good and is so soft!
He's so tall! He can reach the backboard with just a little stretch!
How can a male college student who is fair, thin, fragrant, soft, healthy, clean and refreshing not look good!
What's wrong with his wife being pretty?
Even his wife’s internal organs look good!
But if Pei Shuo really praised his wife for her beauty, Lin Jianyuan would also be a little unhappy.
This mentality is quite subtle.
Lin Jianyuan hesitated for a second, then finally sighed and said, "Okay."
Pei Shuo breathed a sigh of relief.
Lin Jianyuan asked again: "What do you think of my wife?"
Pei Shuo: “???!!!”
Lin Jianyuan was really curious.
He really, really wanted to get to know his wife better.
Pei Shuo was really driven to the point of crying.
He really, really doesn’t know what Brother Yuan’s air wife is like!!!
However, facing Lin Jianyuan's expectant eyes, Pei Shuo couldn't bear it after all.
He smiled and said seriously: "Brother Yuan, I was actually really worried about you before."
Lin Jianyuan looked at him suspiciously: "Huh? Why did you suddenly change the subject?"
"I'm not trying to change the subject. It's just that, Brother Yuan, you know, I've been following you since I first came in. You've really helped me a lot, bringing me from knowing nothing to where I am now... well, I'm still pretty new even now."
Pei Shuo touched his ear embarrassedly, but his tone remained sincere.
"You've taught me a lot, not just about work but also about how to behave. Honestly, Brother Yuan, I'm so, so grateful to you."
"So when I knew you were sick, I was really worried about you. But I didn't know how to help you."
"But some time ago I suddenly noticed that you seemed to be gradually becoming more cheerful."
"Although we still suffer in the company every day, working like slaves and swearing a lot, the repressed and negative feeling you have is obviously much less."
"How do you put it?"
Pei Shuo thought for a moment and said with a smile, "It's like there's light in your eyes again. Now that I think about it, your improved condition is probably because you met my sister-in-law?"
This is the truth.
It's also the truth.
There is no doubt that Lin Jianyuan's condition is getting worse.
Otherwise, who in their right mind would fall in love with the air?
But this air seems to be quite good for Lin Jianyuan.
At least in Lin Jianyuan's opinion, his air wife would cook for him, wash clothes and clean the house.
(Although in reality, it’s possible that Lin Jianyuan did it himself while sleepwalking in the middle of the night. Pei Shuo guessed.)
(This makes it even worse.)
(Why do you have to comfort yourself when you are sick?)
...In short, it is an objective fact that Lin Jianyuan's mood has improved.
Thinking of this, Pei Shuo was really a little worried.
What if one day in the future, Lin Jianyuan finds out that his wife doesn’t actually exist, can he withstand the blow?
I can’t care less.
After three months of work, the most important life philosophy Pei Shuo has learned is:
Let’s just enjoy today first.
We’ll talk about the future later.
After listening to Pei Shuo's words, Lin Jianyuan fell into deep thought.
A second later, the corners of his mouth turned up.
Two seconds later, the corners of his mouth curled up to the sky and he couldn't suppress it.
"Uh, Brother Yuan?" Pei Shuo was a little scared when he saw him suddenly laughing so happily, and asked cautiously, "Did I say something wrong?"
Lin Jianyuan said happily, "You know what? My attending doctor told you the same thing."
Pei Shuo: “Ah?”
Lin Jianyuan: "He's my attending physician at 700 Jiangchuan North Road. To be honest, he's met my wife, too. He also said that my relationship is going well and that it's helping my condition. Hehehe, actually, I was quite surprised. I felt like my doctor could tell I wasn't straight before I even realized I was gay. He's really professional."
Pei Shuo: “Ah???”
No? Wait?
How can this be seen?
Can Yuan Ge's attending physician even tell whether a ball of air is male or female? Is it that magical?
Pei Shuo was stunned for a second before reacting.
Oh, I see. The doctor might just be following what Brother Yuan said.
...Thinking this way makes it even more miserable!
How could the whole world really be working together to deceive him?
What The Truman Show.
Pei Shuo couldn't help but reveal a look of compassion.
Lin Jianyuan was immersed in happiness and didn't notice the deep meaning in his gaze at all. He even reached out and patted him on the shoulder and said earnestly, "Xiao Shuo, you're still single too, right? Let me tell you, I used to think that people didn't need to find a partner. Working in this damn class is so annoying, and there's so little money. I'm already working my ass off just to survive, so how can I be qualified to find a partner? But after I really found one, I understood. With a partner, life has a purpose. Really, I'm even more motivated to work in this damn class now..."
Pei Shuo: "Brother Yuan..."
I almost cried after hearing that.
Truman's conversation finally ended.
Pei Shuo was suffering from inner torment and continued to work overtime with tears in his eyes.
Lin Jianyuan, full of longing for a happy life in the future, continued to work overtime with great passion.
Half an hour later.
This forced class is finally finished~
Everyone left work happily, except Pei Shuo, who was filled with sorrow and had no one to vent.
Lin Jianyuan was of course the happiest one among the people who were leaving get off work.
Because he has a wife~
sk——
No need to skip this time.
As long as his wife is by his side, he doesn't feel bored even if he has to take the subway more than 700 times a year.
The subway cars rumbled along the tracks as they entered and exited the station.
Time, which has been repeated countless times, feels more like time than ever before.
Lin Jianyuan was tired from working overtime and felt a little sleepy, so he closed his eyes.
His head drooped in front of his chest, falling back and forth.
After a while, a piece of pink intestine stretched out and gently supported him.
Since the support was placed under his chin, Lin Jianyuan slept like a peaceful hanged man.
…
I'm home.
"What's this?"
The lights in the corridor of the old and dilapidated house came on, and under the dim light, a large cardboard box appeared at the door of Lin Jianyuan and his roommates' home.
My roommate was curious, so he stretched out his hands and pinched the cardboard box here and there.
Lin Jianyuan's eyes lit up, and as he bent down to move the box, he said, "Come quickly, my goodies are here!"
The cardboard box wasn't too heavy. Lin Jianyuan happily carried it into the house, picked up a pair of scissors and began to unpack it.
My roommate stood by and watched curiously.
With a rustling sound, the cardboard box was opened, and the first thing that caught the eye was the hard white anti-collision plastic foam.
Lin Jianyuan took out the top layer of hard foam, revealing the sweeping robot inside.
No, to be precise, it is a sweeping and mopping robot.
"Honey, you don't have to sweep or mop the floor at home anymore." Lin Jianyuan said with a smile as he carefully took the robot out of the box. "Just change the water in the tank every day."
"oh."
My roommate curled up the corners of his mouth. It was just a simple "oh", but it carried a sense of softness and perfection.
Lin Jianyuan's lips curled up when he heard this.
The robot was taken out.
This is a flat, round, white robot that looks like a millstone.
Each of them squatted on the ground with their intestines and watched.
Click, click, click, Lin Jianyuan installed the accessories one by one according to the instructions.
My roommate squatted next to me, looking at my appendix from left to right.
Although the digestive system has no eyes, Lin Jianyuan can feel his curious gaze.
This is probably the first time my roommate has seen a robot vacuum cleaner.
In fact, it was Lin Jianyuan’s first time, but he was older than his roommate after all.
So he had to pretend to be calm.
"The installation is quite simple." Lin Jianyuan said calmly, secretly glancing at the instruction manual several times to make sure that every step he took was correct and that he had not missed any accessories.
"Really?" The soft intestine stretched out, patting here and pinching there.
My roommate showed a cat-like curiosity about the robot vacuum cleaner.
"The water tank is... oh, here." Lin Jianyuan followed the instructions and first opened the skull of the robot base station.
Two plastic water tanks appeared in front of me, one on the left and one on the right.
The water tank is made of good material. It is light in the hand, but feels very solid.
It's a design that fastens with a click.
Lin Jianyuan went to the bathroom to get some water, picked it up and weighed it. He felt that the quality of this thing was really good. The lid was very tight, and it would not make a loud noise while he was carrying it, causing all the water to spill out.
It is worthy of being the most expensive and smartest model among similar products.
Lin Jianyuan quickly glanced at the instructions and continued to demonstrate to his wife, "The one on the left is the sewage tank, and the one on the right is the clean water tank. Every day, just add water to the clean water tank, then empty the sewage tank, and turn on both switches."
"Oh oh." The roommate studied seriously.
"It's okay, I just wanted to tell you." Lin Jianyuan smiled and reached out to pinch his throat. "I change the water every morning before I go out. Sometimes the floor is too dirty, and it might mop back and forth, and the clean water will run out early. If you happen to be at home, please help change it."
Roommate: "How do I know it's out of water?"
Lin Jianyuan: "It will scream for help."
My roommate laughed and asked, "Why are you yelling?"
"It will scream—" Lin Jianyuan suddenly pounced on his roommate, pressed him down and said, "Break his throat! Break his throat!"
Roommate: “Huh?”
Lin Jianyuan was malicious and kept scratching the right half of his colon, which was the most ticklish part.
The roommate laughed so hard that his intestines were shaking, and his warm and soft intestines wrapped around Lin Jianyuan's wrist like a little snake.
"Stop playing!" His roommates pulled his hands away from him, one on each side. "What do you mean by 'broken throat'?"
My roommate looks gentle, but I didn't expect he is so strong.
When Lin Jianyuan was pulled by his roommate, he easily did the splits with his arms.
Lin Jianyuan was not embarrassed at all. He did a push-up, smiled and kissed his roommate on the lips.
Lin Jianyuan said, "You don't know? Broken throat is a very old joke. It's when one person says to another, 'No one will come to save you even if you scream your throat out.' Then the other person yells, 'Broken throat! Broken throat!'"
His roommate imitated him and yelled "Hurry, hurry, hurry" a few times, then laughed so hard his liver, gallbladder, spleen and pancreas were shaking, "This pronunciation is so funny."
"Why do you find everything funny? You have such a low sense of humor." Lin Jianyuan nudged his throat with the tip of his nose.
The warm and soft esophagus pressed against him affectionately, and Lin Jianyuan could feel his roommate's Adam's apple rolling.
The roommate's tone was full of laughter, Duodenum hooked his neck, and his tone was soft: "Because I really want to laugh. I want to laugh when I am with you."
"Me too." Lin Jianyuan's raised lip never lowered, but he taught him seriously, "That's how it is when you're in love. You're done. You love me to death."
Roommate: "You don't love me to death?"
"Love, love, love. I love it so much." Lin Jianyuan pretended to be perfunctory and started laughing as he spoke.
One of them was lying on the ground, fighting and making noises.
I played with it for a while before I remembered that the skull of the sweeping robot was still open.
Yirenyichang quickly got up and continued to tinker with the robot.
After tinkering with it for a while, the robot came out of the base station with a "beep" sound!
Roommate: “Wow!”
Lin Jianyuan: “Wow!”
Everyone, one intestine, please get out of the way.
My roommate asked, “Where is it going now?”
Lin Jianyuan said, "I don't know. It should scan the whole house first. It will generate a map by itself."
Roommate: “Oh oh.”
The robot began to run around the room.
A man and an intestine followed it around everywhere.
The robot ran to the east, and one person and one intestine followed to the east.
The robot ran west, and the man and his intestine followed west.
The robot ran to the corner, found that it was a corner, and turned around.
Everyone was curious to see where it would go next.
The robot suddenly stopped moving.
"Why isn't it moving?" The roommate stretched out his intestines and patted the robot on the head.
Lin Jianyuan studied the instruction manual for a long time, then picked up the remote control app on his mobile phone and studied it for a long time, and finally he suddenly realized it.
"Are we in his way?"
Each person and his intestine retreated to the left and right respectively.
Buzz buzz buzz, the robot restarts.
Buzz buzz buzz, the robot drove between a man and his intestine.
The robot seemed to say nothing, yet also seemed to say everything.
You can feel the robot's speechless expression even through the panel.
They looked at each other and burst into laughter again.
It’s not that Lin Jianyuan hasn’t seen a sweeping robot before, nor does he think that this thing has much technological content.
But this is the first time he has a robot vacuum cleaner of his own.
In other words,
This is the first time he has purchased a robot vacuum for his home.
Home is truly a magical concept.
A house is not a home.
Family members are not home either.
So what is home?
"Why does it go back to rest after cleaning a room?"
The pink drain was floating in the air, chasing the robot vacuum cleaner around the house.
"Oh, so you're going back to wash the mop." The roommate squatted in front of the base station, tilted his "head" and listened to the buzzing sound of the mop being washed in the base station.
Lin Jianyuan smiled and squatted down next to his roommate.
Watch with him as the robots work for them.
Since robots are working so hard, Lin Jianyuan actually wants to work hard too.
I watched the robot sweeping and mopping the floor, and half an hour passed by unknowingly.
When Lin Jianyuan stood up, he found that his legs were numb from squatting. He burst out laughing and said, "Damn, we look like two idiots."
His roommate laughed along with him and said, "Yeah, two idiots, hahahaha."
night.
Lin Jianyuan fell asleep.
Lin Jianyuan was sleeping soundly, his expression gentle and calm.
There is no frenzy at work, nor the liveliness when playing and fighting with roommates.
A human being.
A sleeping human.
This is what humans look like when they sleep.
The digestive system "watched" him quietly.
The appendix slapped, slapped, slapped against the end of the bed.
That was the only little tail that was exposed.
The rest of the body was well wrapped in the quilt.
Then she was hugged by Lin Jianyuan's arms.
Only the appendix is exposed because it is a small tail.
Lin Jianyuan breathed evenly with his eyes closed.
Human chests rise and fall when we sleep. Human chests rise and fall when we are awake. Humans breathe.
breathe--
What does it feel like to breathe?
The digestive system is unknown.
The digestive system has no lungs.
The digestive system wonders.
So the digestive system supports the body.
chu~
Kissed the human on the tip of his nose.
call--
suck--
Human breath beat against His mucous membranes.
The throat moved slowly, and the warm and moist mucous membrane was slightly cooled by the breath.
The body temperature disappears easily.
It's so easy to become different from humans.
So you have to stick it on.
Spend more time with humans.
The digestive system lowered its "head" and placed its "head" on the human's cheek.
He actually doesn’t quite understand, but humans seem to like Him this way.
Stick it.
Rub.
Humans will give Him body temperature.
So interesting.
So funny.
The digestive system wanted to smile again, so the corners of His mouth turned up.
laugh.
What a long night.
Humans need sleep, but the digestive system does not.
The digestive system will only feel sleepy if you overeat.
The digestive system was once accustomed to eating all night, eating this and that, eating here and there.
But He has been here since some time.
Been eating this one.
So weird.
So funny.
chu~
He couldn't help but kiss the human again.
His humanity.
So strange. Why do humans like to eat each other's mouths?
After he and Lin Jianyuan had their mouths eaten, Xiao Hongshu began to push more and more videos of humans eating mouths to him.
So strange.
I don’t quite understand.
But He also seemed to start enjoying eating with humans.
chu~
The warm and soft pink went into the water, hiding in the quilt and cuddling with humans.
The stomach needs to be patched, the intestines need to be patched, the liver, gallbladder, spleen and pancreas also need to be patched.
Come to think of it, humans seem to have it too.
The digestive system has a vague understanding of this.
——Humans, it seems, have the same things as Him.
"Digestive system".
So He tried to find it, and tried to stick His stomach below the human sternum, where the stomach should be.
Gurgle.
I heard the bubbling of gastric juice.
The location is right.
Then comes the liver.
Knock, knock. Here are the ribs.
Knock, knock. This isn't the ribs anymore. This is underneath the ribs.
The liver is inside the skin.
Then comes the intestines.
Duodenum jejunum ileum.
Cecum appendix colorectum.
Gurgle.
It turns out that human intestines also make this sound.
Little by little, the digestive system puts itself back in place.
It sticks to human internal organs through the skin and abdominal muscles.
But—it’s not enough.
It's not enough.
There is still a long way to go.
There is still a lot to go.
The digestive system remembered that it already had a hand, so it took it out.
He pried open the human's slightly curled fingers and put his hand in.
Stick it.
Oh right. I remember now.
Humans also have feet.
Just like the white moonlight in Lin Jianyuan’s dream.
There are ten fingers on the hands and ten toes on the feet. How funny.
Normally the fingers are exposed but the toes have to be covered with socks and kept in shoes. It's so funny.
Feet are useless for the digestive system, but He grew them anyway.
Oh, and legs too.
Otherwise, I don’t know where my feet will grow.
The legs and feet are connected by ankles wearing flip-flops.
So He now has both hands and feet.
But there is still a lot missing. A lot missing.
So annoying.
Just like humans add WeChat and then open a Moments circle.
Just like humans not only have to go out to work but also have to sleep.
"How annoying."
The digestive system pouted in dissatisfaction.
There are so many parts in a human body that He doesn't even have the patience to look through anatomical diagrams.
There is a faster way.
hey-hey.
A faster way is to...
chu~
The digestive system kissed its human. It wanted to copy homework from their dreams.
chu~
If you can’t remember, copy it again.
chu~~~
It's so hard to remember. Copy it again.
I don’t know how many times we kissed.
Gurgle——
"Um?"
The digestive system was a bit of a surprise.
His intestines were rumbling, but it was not because of hunger, but because of the taste of food.
food?
How could there be food in His human head that He could eat?
Hurrah!
As soon as humans go to work, they secretly become delicious without His knowledge!
The digestive system is bulging, and the gallbladder and pancreas are also bulging, ready to secrete digestive juices.
The digestive system eats the human mouth viciously.
While eating, the digestive system stops.
Angel Eyeball: "..."
Mouth of the Abyss: "..."
Angel Eyeball was incredulous: "What is the evil domain doing..."
Mouth of the Abyss: "Why does it feel like the way it eats is a little strange?"
Nie Nie Le growled, "Stop making noise! It's savoring it!"
Angel Eyeball & Mouth of the Abyss: "???"
Little Stone shook his head: "Alas."
Sure enough, the digestive system smacked my mouth.
He tilted his head and smacked his lips.
After a while, Xie Yu turned around in confusion and asked the heretics:
"What is installment payment? What is three installments with no interest?"
Pinch & Little Stone & Mouth of the Abyss & Angel Eyeball: "???"
How the hell would we know? We are not human!
Ask humans about human things!!!
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
