Chapter 31 I'm Yours
They found a hotel that was still open in the town. The owner was from another place and did not go home for the New Year. When he saw two handsome boys coming to book a room on New Year's Eve, he looked at them strangely.
"King room or standard room?"
Li Zimai pressed down his ID card and replied, "Standard room."
The standard room is also not a very big room, with two single beds placed side by side. Although it is small and crowded, it is at least clean.
It wasn't until Li Zimai wrung out the medical towel and came out of the bathroom that Cheng Che finally felt the reality sink in. Two hours ago, he was still in that house, arguing fiercely with Cheng Lijia, and now, two hours later, he was with Li Zimai, who should have been celebrating the New Year in France.
"Close your eyes." Li Zimai said.
His voice was a little hoarse, with a hint of imperceptible irritation. He wiped the dried blood from Cheng Che's forehead and then wiped his swollen cheekbones.
There were obvious palm prints under Cheng Che's cheekbones near his earlobes, and there were also red marks on his neck from being pinched.
"Are there any injuries on your body?"
Cheng Che leaned back slightly, shook his head, and denied, "...No."
Li Zimai didn't say anything, but his hands didn't stop moving. He lifted Cheng Che's elbow and opened his sleeves. Sure enough, there was a heavy and deep bruise on his wrist.
Cheng Che, exposed, tried to pull his hand out and whispered, "...I can do it myself."
Li Zimai held his thin wrist to prevent him from moving, and used his other hand to apply ointment. His face was gloomy, but his hands moved very gently.
"...Why are you here?"
Cheng Che just wanted to find a topic to talk about, but the silence in the room made him feel extremely flustered.
"I returned to the capital early."
"...Then how did you find this place?"
"It's on the information sheet for Longyan Village."
"oh."
Cheng Che didn't quite know how to break the deadlock. He was not a talkative person and it was always Li Zimai who took the initiative to find topics to talk about. Cheng Che could sense that Li Zimai was not in a good mood at the moment.
"...Have you been driving for a long time?"
It takes at least four hours to drive from Beijing to here, and it is the Spring Festival travel rush. He knows that Li Zimai doesn't like to waste time on boring means of transportation.
Li Zimai nodded, pushed the towel and ointment into Cheng Che's hands, and pulled Cheng Che to the shower room. There was a hint of anxiety in his voice, "If you don't want me to wipe your body, do it yourself."
The bathroom had frosted glass, and Cheng Che had been inside for a long time without moving. Li Zimai sat on the edge of the bed, his wrists resting on his knees, clenched into fists. His eyes were fixed on Cheng Che's blurry figure, as if he was suppressing something.
After waiting for a while, Li Zimai knocked on the door, his tone clearly helpless. "You don't want me to help you, and you don't help yourself? Don't you feel any pain?"
Cheng Che was stunned, as if he didn't know how to answer his question. When he was a child, whenever he cried or shouted in pain, Cheng Lijia would beat him even harder, saying that how could a boy be like his mother, crying at every turn, like he was mourning. Later, after being beaten so many times, Cheng Che stopped crying and also stopped saying it hurt.
Cheng Che was forcibly dragged out by Li Zimai. After his sweater was forcibly taken off, several deep, long bloodstains were found on his shoulders, which had already turned black. Further down, the old scar went from his lower back to his lower abdomen, as if it was going to cut his thin body in half.
Li Zimai applied medicine to Cheng Che, dressed him, straightened his clothes, and wiped the sweat from the tip of his nose. After doing this whole process, he half-knelt in front of Cheng Che, buried his forehead in his knees, and said in a voice full of self-blame and regret: "I should have taken you away from the station."
"...I didn't..."
"I don't want to wait for you anymore."
Li Zimai interrupted him, put his hands on the edge of the bed, circled half of Cheng Che's body, and said word by word: "I don't want to wait anymore."
Cheng Che lowered his head, his fingers were entangled on the edge of the bed and were painful, his eyes were red, he didn't want to understand what Li Zimai meant by "don't wait".
Li Zimai suddenly exerted force with his palm, grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down. His forehead was still swollen and a little painful, but he placed a warm kiss on the place between his eyebrows where the scar was, but it lasted only a few seconds before he left.
He heard Li Zimai say, "I don't want to wait for you to slowly understand. Cheng Che, I like you, I want you, I want to be with you, I want to protect you."
He said "I think" many times, his tone firm but with a hint of begging and expectation. Cheng Che opened his mouth but finally fell silent.
Li Zimai took his hand and placed it against her lips. The black and red finger looked particularly ugly on his handsome and noble face. Cheng Che subconsciously wanted to pull away, but the other party kissed him gently.
Li Zimai looked at him with an extremely powerful gaze, and said each word clearly like a promise: "If you are willing, I am yours. If you are not willing... I can also treat you well as a friend for the rest of my life."
The determination and seriousness in his eyes were like a sudden fall from a great height, shattering all of Cheng Che's protective shells and exposing him completely.
He didn't even give Cheng Che a chance to dodge, holding his face and asking him in the most gentle voice, "Are you willing?"
Li Zimai is so good at seducing people. He can be assertive and confident, the center of attention, or he can be gentle and focused, the one for Cheng Che. He looks at Cheng Che with eyes that are expectant, firm, and afraid of being rejected, and says to him: I can be yours.
Who doesn't want Lizimai?
The clock struck midnight, and beautiful fireworks bloomed outside the window. The flickering starlight sprinkled on his face, dispelling all the coldness of this New Year.
His eyes were so serious and bewitching that Cheng Che lost his mind. His body moved closer to him unconsciously as if being lured. His breathing and heartbeat got closer and closer, mixing together and almost bursting his eardrums. All Cheng Che could see was the small mole on the tip of his nose.
Their lips touched, and the unfamiliar soft touch was like a flame, a long-awaited flame, burning wildly and overwhelmingly.
Li Zimai held the back of Cheng Che's head, used the tip of his tongue to pry open his lips, followed his teeth into his soft mouth, and lingered with his tongue.
The hot breath flowed back and forth between the lips and tongue. Cheng Che's face was flushed red. The huge buzzing sound in his mind numbed every nerve in his body. He could only breathe rapidly and let the other party lick and suck to make up for the lack of oxygen in his brain. His heartbeat was like a drum beating on his eardrums.
Li Zimai's embrace became tighter and tighter. He avoided Cheng Che's injured back, put his arm around his waist and picked him up from the bed.
Cheng Che subconsciously separated his kneecaps, and Li Zimai's waist took the opportunity to squeeze in, holding him tightly on his lap. He tilted his head to kiss Cheng Che, holding Cheng Che's wrist and placing it on his neck, completely and thoroughly holding Cheng Che in his arms.
The sound of firecrackers outside the window suddenly woke Cheng Che up. He pushed the other person away, stood up in a panic, and took a few steps back awkwardly until his back was pressed against the edge of the wall. He had nowhere to retreat, so he tilted his head and gasped in a low, rapid voice.
This push was like a basin of ice water that extinguished all of Li Zimai's desires. He looked at Cheng Che cautiously and was speechless for a moment.
“I…I…”
Cheng Che was speechless, his face full of regret and helplessness.
Li Zimai's joy was suddenly taken away. He murmured, "You regret it."
He slowly stood up, turned sideways to Cheng Che, and repeated, "You regret it, you don't want to, right?"
There was a hint of helplessness and reluctance in his tone, and he finally asked, "You don't want to, right, Cheche?"
Cheng Che bit his lower lip, his eyes full of struggle and helplessness.
Li Zimai wanted to say: Forget it. I won't force you.
The words came to his lips, but he couldn't bear to put them down. His upbringing didn't allow him to deprive others of their will, didn't allow him to force others, and certainly didn't allow him to ask for love without dignity. But he liked Cheng Che too much, so he could only turn back and tell Cheng Che again: "I don't need you to say yes, you just need to not refuse. I am willing to wait for you. Whenever you want me, I will be here."
Cheng Che's eyes turned red, and he said hoarsely: "...Don't be like this."
The struggle and self-blame in his eyes were so obvious.
Li Zimai touched his head, helped him tidy up the messed-up corners of his clothes, carefully checked his wound, and after confirming that it was not torn by the force of the kiss, he took a step back and put some distance between himself and Cheng Che.
His movements were very gentle, with restraint and suppression. "I drove so long to find you, not because I wanted to get you, but because I wanted to be with you."
I had no intention of confessing my feelings or kissing you, but when I saw you sitting alone in the snow with so much blood on your face, I didn't care about anything else. I really wanted a legitimate reason to protect you.
From childhood to adulthood, many people had said to Cheng Che, "I love you." They liked his face, his unruly and eccentric personality, and the image of him they imagined. But over time, they were always frightened away by his violent temper, disappointed by his inability to warm their hearts, and they always left.
No one would be like Li Zimai, who approached Cheng Che without hesitation again and again, and would not retreat even if he was hurt by the thorns on Cheng Che's body. He was obviously the star of the crowd, but he was willful and only wanted to illuminate Cheng Che.
Cheng Che said in a muffled voice, "...There's nothing fun here. I don't have anything good either...You don't need to come."
Li Zimai followed up on his words, "Why isn't there anything fun? There's Little Penglai and the Anti-Japanese War Memorial Hall."
"And you," he added emphatically, "you're the best."
The New Year's Eve fireworks outside the window slowed down, and the twinkling lights shone through the glass into Cheng Che's already calm eyes. The branches were finally broken by the snow, and the world returned to tranquility. The kiss also fell along with the brilliant fireworks, and no trace could be found.
Cheng Che felt as if his chest was blocked by something, and he felt suffocated and had difficulty breathing. He said in a very low voice: "...I'm sorry."
"I don't want to hear you say these three words."
Li Zimai half-knelt down, looked Cheng Che in the eye, and sighed helplessly, "...I'm the one who made things difficult for you."
It was obvious that it was Cheng Che who refused to admit it, it was Cheng Che who accepted his kiss but did not agree to his advances, it was Cheng Che who was playing tricks on him, but he still took all the blame on himself and apologized to Cheng Che for his rudeness.
Li Zimai added, "Maybe you need time to digest our relationship. I shouldn't force you, but I don't want to be too far away from you. I'm afraid that if I'm too far away from you, you won't need me anymore."
His voice was getting lower and lower, and his tone was humble and helpless, which Cheng Che had never heard before. Cheng Che endured the soreness in his eyes and tried his best to calm his breathing. It seemed like something in his body was pulling him madly, asking him to leave the other person quickly, while asking him to accept this kindness.
This was a pie in the sky, a gift for his dead life, but Cheng Che refused it, rejecting the gift with red eyes, "...I don't want to be friends with you anymore, and I don't want to have any other relationship with you."
Cheng Che lowered his head, as if he had made a decision, and said solemnly: "...I don't need you."
After he finished speaking, the shackles called morality did not let him go. His heart felt like it was hit by a stone, so heavy that he couldn't breathe.
After a long time, he heard Li Zimai say, "Cheche, when you reject others next time, you should be more ruthless. You should say, 'I don't need you, you're disgusting.' That way it will be effective, okay?"
What could Cheng Che say? He would not even use any bad or embarrassing words to describe Li Zimai, as that would make him feel that he had done something unforgivable.
Lizimai is so good.
"I'll just treat what you said just now as a fit of anger, but don't say it a second time. I'll be sad too. Until you figure it out, I'll try to stay away from you. Don't put any psychological pressure on me."
"...If you figure it out...I will respect you if you don't like me."
"Don't be afraid, Cheche."
No one is happy on this New Year's Eve.
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