Chapter 588: You Will Reveal Your Heart Only When You Face Strangers
I said, “The so-called external washing and internal application is just a metaphor here.
Let’s talk about external washing first. The so-called external washing is to wash your face clean, remove oil, and destroy the environment for bacterial growth.
In other words, just like acne, it is inevitable to get a few pimples because the human body's metabolism is too fast.
Some emotions are inevitable during the rebellious period. There is no need to make a big deal out of it. There is no need to force her to disturb you.
If you keep asking her and insisting she explain the reason, it will be counterproductive.
For example, when forming their worldview, there are some things that need not be taken seriously. Children should be allowed to have their own ideas.
For example, when it comes to vanity, don't preach. If you can satisfy it, satisfy it. If you can't satisfy it, explain the situation. This kind of disease will get better after a while.
For example, if she's not cut out for academics, she should be taught that good grades aren't everything. A healthy personality and body can also lead to great things.
Zhan Cai listened very carefully, and I found that he was recording with his mobile phone.
I took out a cigarette. At this point, I really wanted one because the negotiation was becoming increasingly difficult.
I said, "Now let's talk about internal use. This can be compared to an analogy. For example, if the pimples on your face keep growing, and external cleaning can't solve the problem, you need to take medicine or food internally.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, acne will only heal if lung heat is cleared. In child education, it's about understanding her distress and confusion, and providing targeted instruction based on her psychological issues.
At that point, you need to take her to see a psychiatrist.”
"Why does she have to go to a psychiatrist? Can't her parents communicate with her?"
"No. Psychological problems shouldn't be shared with those you know. Not only do you have psychological problems, but even in interpersonal relationships, you can't reveal all your thoughts to acquaintances.
As the Chinese saying goes, "When you meet someone, only say half of what you want to say, and don't reveal your whole heart."
Zhan Cai nodded.
"On the other hand, this is a professional matter and should be left to professionals. Taking her to see a guru is completely wrong. What she really needs is a psychologist. Only a psychologist can help her open her heart.
Please remember this: People only reveal their true feelings to strangers.
Zhanchai suddenly asked, “Can you talk to her?”
I shook my head. "She doesn't understand Chinese. This is absolutely impossible. Psychological counseling is all about face-to-face communication."
Zhan Cai gave a wry smile and then asked, "Can a psychologist help her open up? My niece is very resistant."
"The counselor doesn't have to ask. As long as your niece cooperates, the counselor will understand your niece's psychological activities."
“So magical?”
"All consciousness is hidden in a person's behavior. In this case, the counselor has several options."
"Please speak quickly." Zhan Cai leaned forward.
I put out the cigarette.
"First, the counselor will ask your niece to make a sand painting. Sand painting means drawing a picture on the sand. It doesn't matter what she draws.
Through this painting, the counselor can judge her true thoughts and whether they are true feelings or deliberate rebellion.
Second, the counselor will put out a lot of plastic toys and ask your niece to build a scene: a manor, a scene of two armies facing each other, or something else.
The counselor will make a judgment based on her behavior and then sit down to chat with her, slowly opening her heart."
"Mr. Wan, have you learned it?"
"Yes. For example, when she paints in the sand, she smooths the sand out before painting. The smoother it is, the more she's willing to move forward in a positive direction...
Of course, I won’t go into details about these specific methods.
I don't know anything about your niece's situation.
Here are two things to say: If it's a general reaction, my advice is to let it go and not make a big deal out of it. Getting too stressed out can actually backfire.
If you think it's serious, you need to see a psychologist. As for those masters who pretend to be mysterious, don't go there again."
Zhan Cai nodded carefully, clasped his hands together, and said:
"Sir, by coming to our country, you can not only cure Dana's illness, but also give me such a good suggestion. As the Chinese say, you are killing two birds with one stone."
I laughed, shook my head, and said, "Zhan Cai, you used the wrong idiom. This isn't called killing two birds with one stone, it's called destiny."
To use a Chinese poem to describe it: "If we are destined to meet, we will meet even though we are thousands of miles apart; if we are not destined to meet, we will be thousands of miles apart."
He insisted that I write it down and asked who wrote it.
Feng Menglong was a Ming Dynasty writer. He is not famous for his poetry, but for his three short stories: Stories to Enlighten the World, Stories to Awaken the World, and Stories to Warn the World.
After I finished writing, I wrote another sentence: "The birth of relatives is the cause, and the help of distant relatives is the condition."
Then explain to him: Your niece is your relative, and you worry about her, which is called karma. I have no relationship with you, which is called distance.
When a stranger becomes an acquaintance by chance and helps you, it is called fate. That is why it is also called "Shuzhuyouyuan."
Zhanchai clasped his hands together again and said, "It's fate, right, it's fate. Thai Buddhism also talks about fate. I have a fate with Teacher Wan, and my niece also has a fate with Teacher Wan. I will definitely report to you after taking her to see a psychologist."
I walked Zhan Cai out the door. He insisted I stay. Then he took three steps back before turning and leaving.
After he left, I suddenly remembered a saying - don't talk to strangers.
You probably don't usually talk to strangers.
But one day, you may have enough time to talk to strangers.
In fact, the world is always in balance. Without the confusion of adolescence, you will not mature.
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