Seeing Zhao Jinxiu like this, Tian Yu helplessly hugged her and gently comforted her, "Since it has already happened, we can only choose to face it bravely when we are powerless to change it. This is just a small setback in your long life. Don't run away, don't give up. If you need anything, I will help you, but life is your own."
"I don't know what to do. This isn't what I want. I don't want to marry him. I want to kill him!"
"Okay, stop crying. Think it over slowly and carefully. You need to learn to face things on your own and make your own decisions." Tian Yu wiped away her tears and said with a smile, "You know what? The first time I saw you, I thought, 'How come this girl is so beautiful? I wish I were half as beautiful as her.'"
"You're lying! You looked so arrogant and rude back then."
"Really? I think I'm quite friendly. It's you who are being rude and insisting on stopping me."
"You were rude first, and I only resorted to violence because I couldn't stand it."
"Look, you have many other things to do. Forget about all the unpleasant things and start afresh. It's hard, but you still have to learn to let go."
"Impossible, I can't forget it. He drugged me and defiled me. How can you expect me to forget it? How can I get married in the future? How can I live? How can I go out in public?" Zhao Jinxiu cried again when she thought of this.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but to me, if someone truly loves you, they won’t despise you because of this; they will only cherish and love you even more.”
"You are not me, how can you know my feelings? I am the one who has been defiled, not you."
"You're the one who was defiled, so how can I tell you to forget when I haven't truly felt it myself? I'm not even as good as you. You envy me and are jealous of me, but what do I have to envy or be jealous of? Did I flee famine and watch my family die one by one, or was I sold to a stranger as a wife? Being a wife is bad enough, but the person didn't even want you. They only married you to continue the family line, and even consummating the marriage was forced upon them. There was no affection involved, and I feel sad every time I think about it. Tell me, what's the difference between being defiled and you being defiled? It's just that the person is different!"
"But that person is Brother Mo Yan."
"What's the difference? You know the person who slept with you, and you even considered marrying him. But I don't know or understand the person who slept with me. The only redeeming quality is that we got married. Ironically, we even had a child together, and I waited for six long years. I finally met someone I liked, thinking I could finally have a home and live a good life. But just when we were about to get married, the groom disappeared without even a word of explanation. Tell me, what do I have that you should envy?"
"I...I've heard about it too, but don't you still have Brother Moyan?"
"Brother Mo Yan!? That's your Brother Mo Yan, not mine. You like him so much, why don't you marry him?" Tian Yu retorted.
“I…I do like him, but he doesn’t like me. Besides, he’s a marquis and I’m just a commoner. Now that something like this has happened, I’m even less worthy of him.”
“None of you wanted to marry him before, but he was forced to marry me in the end. Now you all feel that you are not good enough for him. In six years, he has become a marquis, but I am still the same person. Six years ago, I wouldn’t even give him a second glance. Do you think he will still look at me and want to spend his life with me after six years?”
“You have tangyuan (sweet rice balls), so no matter what, Brother Moyan will never abandon you,” Zhao Jinxiu said.
"Maybe it's because of Tangyuan that he has to take care of us, but this isn't the life I want. I don't need him to take extra care of me because of Tangyuan. I have my own life, and I won't stay by his side because of Tangyuan. Zhao Jinxiu, you're still young. After experiencing many things, you'll understand how insignificant everything you're going through now is. It's really painful to be abandoned by your family, abandoned by your lover, and then escape death and still be alive. But what can you do? Life goes on, and time will make you forget everything!"
"If I were you, I would be willing to be a concubine, as long as I can stay by Brother Moyan's side."
“That’s you, not me. If that’s the case, I’d rather stay in Old Zhao Village and die alone than be someone’s concubine.”
“He is a marquis, you shouldn’t think like that.”
“He is your Marquis, the Marquis of Wu Kingdom, but he is not my, Tian Yu’s.”
"Tian Yu, you're too arrogant. You'll suffer because of that. Look at all men, they all have three wives and four concubines. It's normal!"
"Suffering a loss?! Normal?! You think I'm more pitiful than you now, that my experiences are worse than yours, but do you know that this is only a very small part of my painful life? If you knew how I got through those six years, how I survived, eating only wild vegetables for three days, having to wash my own clothes on the first day after giving birth without any food, and feeding Tangyuan with my own blood, you would understand my thoughts now. Saying I haven't changed is a lie. The Xiaotian of six years ago had already suffered a mental breakdown and drowned in the river. The Xiaotian of today is not Xiaotian anymore. I am Tianyu. No one can force me to do things I don't want to do. Now I just want to live for myself."
"Tian Yu, I'm sorry, I didn't know you had gone through such painful experiences."
"Don't feel sorry for me or pity me, because I don't need it. These things are in the past for me. No matter what happens in the future, I will try my best to live and be myself. You should do the same, understand?"
"I can't do it, I'm not you, I can't do it," Zhao Jinxiu said, shaking her head in self-doubt.
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