"When you asked me why.
“I dare not say anything.
“Your mind is sharp, clear as a mirror, so clean that I dare not touch it.
"Because I'm afraid that what will be reflected is my own ugliness.
"It's hard for me to hide it, how can I tell you?
"What are you talking about? Who the hell would believe that a big devil with blood on his hands like me would have such a naive and ridiculous idea?
"This is ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous."
His tone was gentle, flowing slowly on his lips, as if he was afraid of disturbing anyone, as if he was singing a lullaby.
"Ye Feng, I have thought about this more than once.
"If I had the good fortune to meet you when I was little, wouldn't I be the crazy and perverted me I am now?"
"I'm just like those people. I hate myself now. I'm like a monster, haha."
He lowered his eyelashes to hide the hidden wounds under his eyes and chuckled softly, almost imperceptibly.
"I fell for you just because you smiled at someone else. I can't believe it myself."
"I once secretly checked on the child. Although he doesn't have a father, he has a mother who loves him.
“Not only that, he has many relatives who love him.
“But, what did I have in the past?
"There is nothing, just a wisp of soul, floating around in a daze.
"There were several times when I ran into a group of strange beasts alone, thinking that I would just die without knowing why.
“Unfortunately, in the end, I was the one who survived.
"Because those strange beasts are not as cruel as me. I am more reckless than them and more like a beast.
“Hehehe.
"Do you know why I always wear gloves?"
He raised his hands lazily in front of him, looking self-loathing.
"Because it's covered with scars, it's ugly and disgusting.
"This is what I left behind when I snatched something from the monster's mouth.
"I have to remember this, and I have to keep it to disgust Yan Qingzhou."
"If I had never known that there was such a person in this world, perhaps I wouldn't be so angry.
“I’ve already accepted my fate.
"But he came out and told me that all the suffering and struggles I had experienced before were just an oversight on his part."
He laughed sarcastically and coldly: "Who the hell does he think he is?
"Can you just ignore it if you say it's negligence, and admit it if you say it's acknowledgement?
"Am I just a thing that can be thrown away or picked up, pitiful and discarded? Am I a joke?
He sneered, the corners of his mouth curled up.
"A bunch of hypocritical people, just fighting for power and interests.
"Why are you still playing the family card?
"Do you think I'm so rare?
"If he insists on admitting it, then let him admit it.
"I am his only remaining son, so I will destroy this son of his.
"I will destroy his power, his hopes, everything he has.
"I want everyone in the world to laugh at him, to laugh at the fact that he has a son who is despised and looked down upon by everyone and who is like a pervert."
He laughed coldly a few times, but sadness gradually filled his eyes.
“So, Ye Feng, you don’t know that feeling.
"It's the feeling of being against the whole world and being abandoned by the whole world.
“Everything is cold and fake.
“I instinctively seek out warmth, and once I find it, I can’t let it go.
"You are the only light left in my world.
"When I see you, it's like a child who has been lonely for too long and finally finds the one he loves most.
"From then on, I was obsessed with it, worried about gains and losses, and couldn't bear to let it go.
"I also realized that there really is someone in the world who is so different from others.
“He would break all my rules.
"When someone tries to act out with me, I want to beat him to a pulp.
"But no matter what you are like, I think you are good. I feel happy and pleasing no matter how I look at you.
"When I see blood on other people's white clothes, I get more and more excited.
"If you have even a little bit of dirt on you, I will feel uncomfortable and it will be an eyesore and unpleasant."
He stared at Ye Feng seriously, with the deep affection in his eyes showing without any concealment, overflowing from his eye sockets.
"Ye Feng, when you were in a deep sleep in the treatment cabin, I thought, if you really died, I would let the whole world be buried with you.
"Let everyone sink to the bottom of darkness.
"If you don't live, no one deserves to live.
“Including myself.
“So, you don’t know how important you are.
"You don't know how crazy I will be because of you.
“I don’t even know.
“That’s when I knew I was done.
“For the first time, I understood what scruples meant.
"At that time, I stood beside you all day and prayed non-stop.
“For the first time, I hope those so-called bullshit gods really exist and can hear my voice.
“On the days you weren’t awake, I prayed devoutly during the day and cursed angrily at night.
"But after daybreak, I still couldn't help but continue to pray.
"Finally, I swear, if you can wake up, as long as you can wake up, even if I have to lay down my butcher knife and be tortured to death, I will be willing to do so."
He sighed and lowered his head, looking at his hands.
"So, you don't know what your waking up means to me.
"Ye Feng, with you here, I can still live soberly in this world.
"Without you, I will be in hell forever.
“That thread is in your hand.
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