[Chen Zixi x you] I have doubted more than once whether he is capable or not
After the reunion, even after you became Chen Zixi's legitimate lover, you doubted countless times whether he was really not capable enough.
——After all, in the storybooks, adult men of his age often had "red eyes, heavy breathing, and hoarse voices", but he had never looked like that.
You are very worried and even want to find a skilled healer to treat him, but you are afraid of damaging his male self-esteem. You are really in a dilemma.
On the day you reunited with Chen Zixi, you were engaged in a street chase with a local gang of thieves.
You were good at light work, and basically solved most of the problems by jumping, chopping and using a finger. Then you jumped onto the shoulder of the leader who was blocking the road and kicked him away. You then stepped on the wall to gain leverage and shot out two consecutive arrows.
One arrow hit the leader's left eye and blew off his head; the other arrow missed the target because it ricocheted off the iron gate of the house next door and went towards an innocent passerby.
You only had time to yell "be careful" as you rushed forward, stepping on tiles, sparks and lightning, and narrowly caught the tail feather of the arrow, with the tip of the arrow only an inch away from the man's chest.
You pulled back your right hand, threw the arrow to the ground, and looked at the innocent person with concern: "Are you okay, sir? My martial arts skills are not good enough, and I almost hurt you by mistake."
"It's okay." The young man in white standing in front of you smiled and shook the folding fan in his hand. "Miss, didn't you protect me in time?"
A white shirt, a green embroidered jacket, golden bells, a fan with gold-painted lotus and butterflies, a red agate drinking cup... The man's outfit flashes through your mind, and you suddenly realize his identity.
It was Chen Zixi. You never dreamed that you would meet Chen Zixi as soon as you came to Jiangnan. However, after not seeing him for several years, he probably wouldn't recognize you.
Suddenly, a strange idea came to my mind.
——It’s better not to let him recognize you, because it might hinder you from pursuing him. After all, he is Uncle Jiang’s best friend. If he knew your identity, perhaps the seniority gap would become an insurmountable obstacle.
There's no way, his face is too much to your liking. You haven't met anyone who makes you so excited in more than two years since you left home at the age of sixteen. You decided to pursue Chen Zixi.
So you immediately put in your effort and asked him with a smile, "Sir, I wonder if you are married yet?"
Chen Zixi glanced at you in slight surprise, then a smile spread across his face: “No.”
"What do you think of me, sir?" You put the bow behind your back again and asked eagerly.
Chen Zixi looked at you with a smile, full of interest: "Young lady, you were so dashing just now when you drew your bow and arrow, and climbed the eaves and walls to save me. I have never seen such a thing in Jiangnan."
You have a feeling his words are suggestive, but you don't intend to dwell on them. You wave your hand and say, "Sir, thank you for your kind words... I find you very beautiful, and I'm quite attracted to you. Could you have mercy on me?"
Chen Zixi stood there motionless, his eyes sparkling with laughter. "But the young lady doesn't even know who I am?"
"Then may I ask, sir, who is this person? Can you pity me?" You immediately clasped your fists in a heroic manner and asked.
Chen Zixi seemed to sigh softly. He looked at you with a bit of helplessness: "I am Chen Zixi, a disciple of Qingxi Sect, and I am thirty-six years old."
He emphasized the last two words, as if giving you a hint.
You didn't care about any hints, pretending not to understand, and said flatteringly: "I am eighteen years old, and I am a perfect match for you, young master."
Chen Zixi:?
You see he seemed stunned by your surprise, and immediately pressed on: "Young Master is still unmarried, and you and I are destined to be together. How do you know that Young Master hasn't been waiting for me to appear? A thousand miles of fate is just like this."
Even someone as eloquent as Chen Zixi couldn't respond for a long time. Finally, he took a deep breath and asked you, "But, I still don't know the girl's name?"
When you were little, Chen Zixi told you that when you're out and about, you create your own identity. To avoid being hunted down by Xiujinlou, you've always used a fake name, and now it's just the right time to tell Chen Zixi your fake name—if you tell him your real name, he'd be surprised if he didn't recognize you!
Besides that, you thought about it and told him: "I am a disciple of Tianquan."
"Tianquan..." Chen Zixi repeated in a murmur, his expression filled with nostalgia. "I have an old friend who is also a disciple of Tianquan."
Of course you know who the old friend he is talking about is, but you can only pretend not to know and ask him: "Is your old friend a man or a woman?"
Chen Zixi gave you a funny look and said, "Of course it's a man. Being too jealous is harmful to your health. Little girl, don't be jealous."
Your eyes lit up, and you quickly grasped his hidden meaning: "So, do you agree with my pursuit?"
Chen Zixi didn't confirm or deny it, only saying, "You're not from here, are you? If you have any trouble, just come to me. My home is the one with glazed tiles along the moat in the southeast of the city."
You blinked, suddenly realizing this was a good opportunity, and quickly jumped on the opportunity: "It's perfect. I'm new here and don't have a place to stay. Can I stay at your place?"
Chen Zixi couldn't help coughing twice, and his fair cheeks flushed slightly: "You...you are too..."
You think to yourself, Chen Zixi is from Jiangnan, and he has never seen the direct ball strategy you learned from Liangzhou. I think the ladies in Jiangnan are always tactful, and no one would dare to pursue them so directly and shamelessly... Isn't this your advantage?
In short, thanks to the passionate young man from Liangzhou and the tactful lady from Jiangnan, you successfully moved into Chen Zixi's house.
Chen Zixi's villa was large, but he had few servants, especially no maids. He said this was because he didn't like being served.
Chen Zixi undoubtedly knew how to enjoy life. The courtyard even had hot spring water brought in for bathing. When you emerged from the hot springs, you heard the sound of a piano in the backyard. Curious, you jumped onto the roof and ran over to the sound.
You paused on a glazed tile, only then realizing that Chen Zixi was sitting in a pavilion beside the gurgling stream, burning incense and playing the qin. On a starry, moonlit night, with wisps of smoke swirling around, a beautiful woman playing the qin was a scene of unparalleled beauty.
You sit on the eaves and listen attentively. You can tell that his piano playing is not calm. Sometimes it sounds anxious, and sometimes it is nervous and uneasy... Why is he nervous?
You stuck your head out in confusion, and saw Chen Zixi stop playing the piano, raise his right hand slightly, and a small object flew towards you through the air.
You instinctively leaned sideways, and the object lightly struck your arm, shattering into countless crimson petals. He was truly elegant, casually picking a camellia to throw at you. He obviously knew it was you, otherwise the camellia wouldn't have shattered at the exact moment of impact, leaving no trace of pain.
Realizing his attitude, you leaped up, landing outside the pavilion and happily calling out to him, "Zi Xi!"
Chen Zixi looked up at you, his expression changing as he saw you. He hurried down the stairs, took off his snow-white robe, and draped it over your shoulders. "Why are you out here wearing nothing? Are you cold?"
Always knowing how to take advantage of the situation, you grabbed the edge of your robe while also grabbing his hand, “I’m cold, so do you want to hold me?”
Chen Zixi looked down at you, so close that you could see his dark brown eyes, fully reflecting you.
Then, Chen Zixi slowly closed his eyes. When he opened his eyes again, the corners of his mouth curled up slightly, and he slowly embraced you in his arms.
You know that you have touched his heart.
However, Chen Zixi's behavior is still very reserved, so reserved that you mistakenly think that he actually doesn't like you and is with you because you force him to be with you.
Not only does he always speak to you gently and kindly, but even when he kisses you, he mostly kisses your forehead, and occasionally kisses your lips, but never deeply.
You've secretly observed him below the waist, and you've never noticed any signs of that kind like the male protagonist in the storybook... Could it be that he has no feelings for you?
For the first time, you doubted your own charm. After much hesitation, you found a bright and clear moonlit night and tentatively asked him, "Zi Xi, do you not like me?"
You finally asked, and you felt a lot more relieved... No wonder, why did you suddenly want to cry, and the tears fell without your permission!
Chen Zixi panicked and quickly took out a handkerchief to wipe your tears, coaxing you softly as he wiped: "I like you, how could I not like you? Don't cry, don't cry..."
"Then why didn't you react to me?" you asked him tearfully.
Chen Zixi was busy wiping your tears and didn't react at all: "What reaction? What do you mean by no reaction?"
"It's just..." Although you're shameless, you're too embarrassed to say it out loud. You glance hesitantly at his vital parts. "It's just that there's no reaction..."
"What's that reaction?" Chen Zixi met your gaze, bewildered. Seeing your flushed cheeks and wandering gaze, he couldn't help but freeze in disbelief. "You mean—"
He didn't say it out loud, but you understood what he meant and nodded at him: "Yes, that's what you think."
Chen Zixi silently held his forehead and sighed deeply: "Who told you? Does not react mean that I don't like you?"
“That’s what the storybook says…” You said honestly.
Chen Zixi knocked on your head with a mixture of anger and amusement: "That's all nonsense. If I have to react when I'm facing you, that's not called liking you, that's called being vulgar."
"...Is that so?" You blinked blankly, half believing and half doubting.
"Of course it's true. How could I not like you?" Chen Zixi held your face in his hands and patiently kissed away your tears. "I, Chen Zixi, will be with whoever I like. If I don't like someone, I won't accept it even if you hold a knife to my chest. Do you understand?"
You understood a little, but not much - you felt that what was written in the storybook was not entirely unreasonable. At least you thought, how could a man really have empty eyes when facing the woman he liked?
So you start to wonder, is it that Chen Zixi doesn't dislike you, but is just not good enough? After all, he is really good to you, and he would rather give you the stars than the moon.
You really want to find an expert to diagnose him, but if you think about it carefully, a man still has to have dignity. What's more, the person you find is most likely a fellow disciple of Chen Zixi. If that happens, he will lose all his reputation in the sect. This is not advisable.
So after you were troubled for several days, your dog went to the pharmacy for consultation and brought back some medicine powder.
It's easy to accidentally hurt yourself if you put the medicine directly into food, so you made two preparations - you bought a jar of wine and made a simple pheasant crispy dish, and put the medicine in both.
You enthusiastically took the food to Chen Zixi's room and said enthusiastically, "This is the snack I made. Zixi, try it and see if it tastes good. If not, I can improve it."
Then you still haven't forgotten the jar of wine, so you take it out and shake it in front of him: "Look, this is what I prepared for you too!"
"Okay, thank you for your hard work, my dear." Chen Zixi didn't doubt him and pulled you to sit down with him. Under your shining eyes, he picked up a piece of pheasant crisps and took a bite, then his expression paused slightly.
You thought he'd found out, and you almost jumped up in nervousness: "What's wrong? Is it not tasty?"
Chen Zixi gave you a meaningful look and said with a smile, "It's delicious, but I don't often eat salty snacks, so I'm a little uncomfortable with it."
You didn't get discouraged, thinking that if he didn't want to eat it, it would be fine, so you actively asked, "Do you want to try this wine?"
Chen Zixi hesitated for a moment, then took a sip of the wine. The complexity in his expression was almost visible to the naked eye. He looked at you and sighed, "Qingqing, what are you thinking about?"
You blinked innocently, "I wasn't thinking about anything else. I was just thinking about you."
"You missed me, so you gave me aphrodisiacs?" Chen Zixi supported his forehead with his hand and looked at you, then sighed again.
Well, it was discovered in the end.
Feeling guilty, you quickly hugged his arm and acted coquettishly: "I don't have any bad intentions, I really just want to help you!"
"...I understand." Chen Zixi looked at you with understanding. "You no longer think that I don't like you. You think I'm not capable, right?"
You never expected that he could guess your intention immediately, and you lowered your head, not daring to look him in the eye.
His hand landed on the top of your head and stroked it gently, "You, you don't understand at all... It's not that I didn't react, I just didn't want to scare you."
You didn't quite believe this statement and looked at him suspiciously.
He smiled, took your hand, and slid your hand over his body.
Although it was only a few breaths, it was enough for you to feel the hot and slightly hard touch that you had never felt before.
You jumped up immediately in shock: "No, wait, I believe you, I believe you!"
Damn it, how come you were so scared by him that your voice broke?
Chen Zixi sat there, looking at you, laughing wildly: "You see, I was worried that you would react like this. You are just a little girl, you don't know anything, you haven't seen anything, how dare I offend you?"
Your cheeks were burning hot, and you stood there covering your face, feeling shy and scared, but your eyes couldn't help but glance at that place: It's amazing, his clothes can be so loose, hiding all his reactions?
Chen Zixi looked at you and teased with a smile, "Are you finally scared?"
...No, no, you originally wanted to get Chen Zixi, how could you be afraid now! You thought, unconsciously straightened your chest, and said firmly: "I'm not afraid! I can do it!"
——Even though it seems quite large, you think you can do it! You are already eighteen years old, a grown woman, and you have been practicing martial arts since you were a child. There is nothing you can't do!
"Seriously?" Chen Zixi seemed to not believe it at all, and smiled.
You mustered up your courage, strode over, and straddled his lap. Almost immediately, you heard Chen Zixi hiss softly and whisper in your ear, "Be gentle..."
"I'm just inexperienced and careless!" you quickly explained. "How about this, I'll stay still and you do it?"
Chen Zixi looked at you and suddenly covered his face: "You little devil... Actually, I don't have much experience either."
When you heard that, you became much more excited: "Then let's try it together?"
——This night, you saw your partner Yushanjun for the first time. His face was flushed, his breathing was rapid, and his voice was hoarse. However, his eyes were not as red as a wild beast's as described in the storybook.
I have to say, Yushanjun looks good even when his face is red.
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