Chapter 32 Come on, open your mouth, I'll feed you...
Achoo!
He Ji's sudden, earth-shattering sneeze did not wake him up.
But Wang Ao, who was carrying the roasted meat into the hall, was so disoriented that she stepped on him.
The agonizing cries of the two who had merged into one echoed through the hall:
"Oh dear!"
"Ouch!"
"My—" "Chicken!" "My life!"
He Ji looked like he was half-dead.
He held the hot water that Wang Ao had boiled in his arms, and wore the white fox fur coat that Lin Yuan had handed him. He was leaning against a steaming charcoal brazier, while facing Xiao Xun's murderous gaze. He held his forehead, his eyes drooping, and slumped over the table.
"Master He, why don't you go and rest on the couch?" Lin Yuan asked, then immediately regretted it.
He Ji's left leg was stepped on by Wang Ao. In order to protect her roasted chicken, Wang Ao suddenly became unusually agile. She leaped and caught the tray steadily, but sat down on his stomach.
He Ji immediately spat out two mouthfuls of yellow fluid, which splashed onto the roasted meat.
Wang was heartbroken and pounded her fist on the ground, making a loud thud. She was so distressed by the soiled flesh that she forgot she hadn't actually gotten off Master He. The "ground" she referred to was Master He's chest.
He Ji doesn't look like he can move right now. Lin Yu isn't here, so we can't very well ask Xiao Xun to help him into the house, can we? Not to mention that he would definitely refuse, if we did help him, how we would help him, and where we would get him, is anyone's guess.
"Let's stay here, I'll rest for a while," He Ji said weakly.
"That's fine then," Lin Yuan immediately agreed.
"Let's go inside," Xiao Xun interjected. "Master He screamed in agony just now; he must be in excruciating pain all over his body. How can he possibly stay here and rest?"
Before He Jiting's corpse came into Lin Yuan's view, he had clearly achieved "holding hands" and "growing old together."
Thinking of this, he couldn't help but clench the handkerchief stained with the words "Together we grow old" in ink.
“It’s alright.” He Ji refused decisively and turned to Lin Yuan. “Ah Yuan, with you here, I don’t feel too much pain.”
He Ji still remembers how Xiao Xun looked at Lin Yuan countless times yesterday.
It has to be said that people with beautiful eyes tend to be more affectionate, and their affection comes a little faster.
He woke up early this morning, looked in the bronze mirror, examined himself from left to right, and admitted that his eyes were indeed not as good-looking as that person's.
However, looking down, her lips were soft and full, naturally red without any makeup.
He was determined to win people over with his eloquence and sweet talk.
No matter how much deep affection is in one's eyes, it can only be understood intuitively; how can it compare to a silver tongue?
So he looked at Lin Yuan with deep affection and slightly curved his lips: "Looking at you, I can still remember the poem I didn't finish reciting earlier, it's 'Let's drink wine and grow old together.'"
Lin Yuan blushed as she saw him staring intently at her with a guilty yet strange smile. She touched her forehead, wondering if the words on it still left a mark.
Xiao Xun crossed his arms and looked down at him, asking, "Master He, did Wang Ao step on your head too?"
These words drew angry stares from both Lin Yuan and Wang Ao.
—Aunt Wang had already delivered a pot of hot water, thus redeeming herself and escaping unscathed.
She was intently calculating that although the roasted chicken had been tainted by Master He's filth, Aunt Li didn't know that. Once this plate was sent in, wouldn't she have to be grateful for Aunt Wang's kindness?
Next time, only two thin slices of ginseng should be added to the chicken soup; similarly, that will help make things more palatable. Last time, Aunt Li was being stubborn, and if I didn't argue with her, five or six slices would have been fine too.
You see, this was the first time Wang Ao, who had lived most of her life, had ever seen a ginseng as thick as a wrist. Her son and grandson had never seen or eaten one either. They'd heard that eating it for a period of time would cure all ailments. Surely, it would also cure her grandson's congenital weakness.
"I... I was just worried about him, wasn't I?" Xiao Xun explained guiltily to Lin Yuan.
As she spoke, Wang Ao, who was standing to the side, took back a spoonful of the millet porridge she had just served and slammed the copper spoon down on the table with a "bang".
Lin Yuan was also angry.
Yesterday, because of Xiao Xun, Li Ao twisted her back in fright. Today, because of Xiao Xun, He Ji is lying there, limping and chilled.
Although the incident stemmed from He Ji reciting poetry to her before dawn, she didn't feel it was her fault at all.
After all, she knew these poems by heart, and she was really puzzled as to why He Ji insisted on reciting them.
Was it because last time, when he said to her "The peach tree is young and tender, its blossoms are bright and beautiful," Lin Yuan turned to the side, revealing a plum tree behind her, and jokingly said, "Master He, this is a plum tree, not a peach tree."
However, seeing Master He's snot and tears dripping onto the book, she couldn't help but be moved.
It's as if I'm seeing myself suffering from a cold more than half a year ago.
However, it shouldn't be that indecent, right?
That day, Xiao Xun was not home, so she sat at her desk and finished reading "The Moon Rises".
She suddenly wondered why Xiao Xun was explaining all that to her.
They are not obscure; they seem to be written in a way that can be understood.
Or rather, people are born with the ability to understand these poems.
As she read the poem, it was as if she had returned to that dazzling dream.
Leisurely and carefree, yet tossing and turning in bed.
So graceful and charming, yet my heart is troubled and anxious.
She was awake, having a long dream.
So much so that I almost forgot about the needlework I was supposed to do.
So, on the second sleepless night, she held those verses in her hands and, stitch by stitch, embroidered the plum blossom pattern that she had embroidered a hundred times onto the belt.
The needle pricked her fingertip again, but she didn't seem to feel any pain. Finally, she leaned close to the belt and bit off the red thread with her teeth.
She was still in an endless dream, a scarlet dream, a dazzling dream.
The blooming red plum blossoms spread out before my eyes, covering the sky and the earth.
"These are symptoms of a cold."
He Ji's hoarse voice overlapped with Lin Yuan's memories.
"I feel dizzy and lightheaded, as if I'm always dreaming."
"His eyes were bloodshot, and everything in front of him was red."
"My hands and feet feel numb and tingly, like I'm being pricked with needles."
"Wait, is your leg numb because Master He was stepped on by Wang Ao?" Xiao Xun interrupted him.
Furious, Wang Ao simply poured one of the three bowls of millet porridge back into the earthenware pot.
The rim of the lacquered bowl struck the earthenware pot, making a series of loud clattering sounds that drew attention.
"Thank you for breakfast, Aunt Wang!" Lin Yuan understood from the sound and got up to bring back two bowls of steaming millet porridge.
It was all Xiao Xun's fault, so Wang Ao had long since been exonerated from her own faults and instead became the victim, a scapegoat subjected to ridicule and sarcasm.
"Thanks, A-Yuan." Xiao Xun brushed off his robes, sat down next to Lin Yuan, and naturally pulled a bowl of porridge in front of him.
"Cough cough." Upon seeing this, He Ji coughed weakly twice.
He was displeased. Xiao Xun had only known Lin Yuan for a short time, yet he was already addressing her so intimately, as if they had known each other for a long time. This familiar way of addressing her caught Lin Yuan off guard, and she nodded subconsciously.
He only dared to call her that after three days of knowing Lin Yuan, under the guise of taking her pulse, bringing her medicine, water, and charcoal, he was always around her, even sacrificing his sleep time. He practically turned those three days into three years.
During those days, he was constantly coming and going, so much so that he wanted to sleep on the ground. As a result, Lin Yu was so nervous that she couldn't sleep for two days, thinking that A Yuan had contracted some serious illness.
Two meaningful coughs prompted Lin Yuan to push the millet porridge in front of her towards He Ji.
Seeing this, Xiao Xun stopped wielding his lacquered dagger: "A Yuan, then you can use this bowl."
He Ji was certainly not after Lin Yuan's food, nor did he want Lin Yuan to accept anything from another man with ill intentions.
He said tenderly, "Ah Yuan, thank you. However, in my current state, I can't even lift my arm. I can't eat, so you'll have to eat by yourself."
As he spoke, he reached out and, with lightning speed, tossed the millet porridge that Xiao Xun had just pushed in front of Lin Yuan back to Xiao Xun.
"Master He can't eat anymore?" Xiao Xun sneered. "Judging from the way you pushed my bowl, it was so swift and powerful, as if you could even draw a bow and shoot an arrow."
“Young Master Xiao, you may not know this, but my injury here is to my tendons and bones. It does not affect my pushing and pulling movements, but lifting is—” When He Ji withdrew his hand, he lifted it slightly upwards. “Ha—” He gasped and “accidentally” knocked the lacquered dagger that Xiao Xun had placed in the bowl.
Lin Yuan looked at the empty space in front of her, and an awkward silence fell over the hall. She could only try to make conversation: "Master He is sick, so he can't go hungry. In this situation, shouldn't he be fed?"
"I am a grown man, well past the age of adulthood, and a doctor. These hands of mine, as Young Master Xiao said, are capable of drawing a bow and shooting arrows, riding horses and playing the pitch-pot game, and writing poetry. Wouldn't it be laughable to have someone feed me?"
As He Ji spoke, he looked ashamed and said, "Today I can only trouble A Yuan."
Not only Xiao Xun, but Lin Yuan was also caught off guard by these words.
She had originally intended to ask Aunt Wang for help.
Turning around, I saw that the old woman and her earthenware pot had vanished without a trace.
The millet porridge was steaming.
It landed on He Ji's face, and through the faint light, one could see that his nose was sore and his eyes were brimming with tears.
He could barely speak.
His tongue was trembling.
"……hot."
It took him a long time to utter this single word.
"You have a mouth and a tongue, can't you brag to yourself?"
Xiao Xun said coldly.
Without stopping, she scooped up a spoonful of porridge and put it to He Ji's lips.
He Ji replied tremblingly, "My tongue...it's almost burned off."
Just as Xiao Xun picked up the bowl of porridge with a look of grim determination and sat down next to him, He Ji felt extremely regretful.
I shouldn't have pretended to have an injured arm just to gain Lin Yuan's attention.
The word "death" in "regarding death as if returning home" obviously refers to He Ji's death.
Xiao Xun's manner was more like poisoning than feeding someone.
He Ji suspected that this relative of the royal family was lying, claiming that he had once taken care of someone.
Looking back, when he said the word "take care of," his tone was drawn out, clearly with a hidden meaning—perhaps he was taking care of someone who had gone to the underworld.
He Ji shuddered at the thought, even though he knew perfectly well that it was porridge cooked by Wang Ao.
But before her lay a thick, lacquered dagger, and if she took a bite, she'd either be burned to death or choke—had Granny Wang never eaten millet before? Why was it cooked so thick?
"If you don't want to eat, then forget it." Xiao Xun made a move to put down the bowl.
"Eat, eat."
He Ji spoke with difficulty.
Firstly, he had just fabricated a story to convince both of their sincerity, and now suddenly claiming his hand was healed—wouldn't that prove he was lying? In front of Lin Yuan, he had acted with integrity, propriety, and humility; he had done all of these. If things didn't work out because of "trust," it would be somewhat pointless. But if people thought he had misdiagnosed himself, that would be even worse.
Secondly, He Ji realized he was really hungry after being fed a bite of food. At sunrise, in order to persuade Wang Ao to make roasted chicken, he racked his brains, describing the color, aroma and taste of roasted chicken, and almost wrote a long poem. As he was writing, he didn't realize that his stomach was empty.
He Ji swallowed the porridge, tears welling up in his eyes.
Seeing that Xiao Xun had finished the bowl of millet porridge in just five or six spoonfuls with his swift and efficient work, Xiao Xun breathed a sigh of relief.
He Ji breathed a long sigh of relief.
Beside her, Lin Yuan rubbed her forehead and glanced at the two of them.
Just as Xiao Xun stopped her and said righteously that he would go feed her, Lin Yuan's face and eyes were full of disbelief.
"You? You, have you ever taken care of anyone?"
“I took care of him, alone.” He lowered his eyes and smiled.
Lin Yuan gasped in shock as she realized what was happening.
She was stabbed last year and was unconscious for three days before she woke up in great pain.
To be precise, he was awakened by suffering.
She groggily opened her eyes and saw Xiao Xun condescendingly feeding her medicine.
She felt as if she was no longer a person, but had been reincarnated as a horse.
—If only there were brocade blankets instead of hay before my eyes. The carvings around the perimeter depict dragons and phoenixes playing with pearls, not the swirling clouds on the imperial horse trough.
And what was fed into their mouths was truly bitter medicine, not clear spring water.
She had once seen Xiao Xun feeding water to his beloved horse, Ta Yun, just like that, forcibly pressing its head into the manger.
Because she was probably unconscious, her jaw was clenched, so the lacquered dagger was pressed hard against her teeth. Bitter saliva slowly seeped out from between her teeth, soaking every part of her lips and tongue, and then flowed up into her nose.
That's how she woke up choking.
She felt as if she were still in a bewildering dream, and vaguely heard "I personally feed her medicine."
That was Xiao Xun's voice. Sad and weak, yet incredibly resolute, it tugged at her heartstrings.
"Your Majesty is of noble birth, while Lady Lin is merely a servant. Perhaps this old servant should take over."
This is Wang Fu's voice, which has always been reassuring.
“She was not a servant, never was.”
My heart, which had just settled down, trembled again.
"This servant is a palace maid who serves medicine. Your Majesty, please allow this servant to feed Lin the medicine."
Then came the voice of an older woman, probably around the same age as one's mother, who inexplicably gave the impression of being as gentle and considerate as one's mother.
"Your Majesty has been up for several nights. Your health is of utmost importance. Let the palace servants who are in charge of medicine come instead."
These were Empress Qu's gentle words.
"Get out of here!"
The last sentence, delivered with such force, echoed in her ears, leaving Lin Yuan's heart trembling for a long time.
She finally struggled, desperately breaking free from this nightmare, and cried out, "No, don't go!"
Wang Fu, and the palace servants who are serving medicine, please don't leave!
Then, she heard Xiao Xun's voice, "I won't leave, A Yuan, I won't leave you."
With these words, he excitedly let go of the lacquered dagger that had been pressed against his lips and teeth.
A spoonful of bitter medicine, half went straight to the back of the tongue, and the other half flowed down the corner of the lips and onto the neck.
She was trembling, tears of bitterness streaming down her face, and she could no longer speak.
Xiao Xun had already put down the bowl and dagger in his hands and placed them on the table when he saw Wang Ao walk in carrying something.
Seeing that Young Master Xiao had just finished feeding her, she handed the bowl to his free hand and forced a smile: "This is the medicine for keeping warm that Master He gave me earlier. There's still some left. I just heated it up."
"Aunt Wang is so kind." Lin Yuan was quite moved.
"Oh, what's the big deal?" Wang Ao dusted her hands and went out.
This was something they'd smuggled from the medicine being delivered to disaster victims. Wang and Li had been drinking it like water, finding it nourishing, especially since it contained fine ginseng rootlets! But they overheard He Ji and Lin Yu talking about how medicine can be poisonous, and they became alarmed. After much deliberation, they dared not drink it anymore, yet couldn't bear to throw it away. Besides, it had been sitting there for several days; they weren't sure if it was still safe to drink. Using it as a favor was the most appropriate thing to do.
The heat has thinned out.
Xiao Xun paused for a moment when he took the bowl.
He noticed that Lin Yuan's face had become much thinner these days.
Did she lose weight after she left the palace in despair?
Or even earlier?
That time, she left Zichen Pavilion under the pretext of refilling tea. The next day, Xiao Xun couldn't sit still any longer and sent Wang Fu to inquire. Only then did he hear the news that Lin Yuan had caught a cold.
She had a high fever and was lying in the side room where the palace servants of Jiaofang Palace lived.
When Xiao Xun insisted that the Imperial Physician give a reason, Lin Yuan interrupted him listlessly, saying with self-deprecation that she had been so confused a few days ago that she fell asleep on the table and forgot to put on an outer garment and cover herself with a blanket, thus catching a chill.
"You need to put on a robe while you're asleep?" Xiao Xun stared at her blankly, murmuring to himself.
Lin Yuan smiled weakly: "Yes, Your Majesty, so you see, I'm so confused. My mother has been nagging me since I was little, telling me not to sleep leaning against the table, and not to go without a blanket. I used to think it was just nagging, and my ears were calloused from it, but in the end, I still didn't remember what she said. I guess all her repeated admonitions have turned into the sentence 'My mother is so nagging'."
Not only her, but when Lin Yu first returned home, his mother always felt that he was dressed too thinly.
I rode too fast on horseback, afraid the wind would get into my fur coat and I'd catch a chill; I read until the wee hours, afraid the night was cold and foggy and I'd catch a cold; I arrived a little late for dinner, afraid the hot food would get cold and upset my stomach.
It wasn't until a year or two later that she admitted that Lin Yu was naturally hot-tempered and had strong bones since childhood, like a little furnace. Qin sighed with affection and pride, "Just like your father!"
After Lin Yuan finished speaking, she realized that she had indeed been confused, so confused that she had forgotten that Xiao Xun did not have a mother.
Xiao Xun's face was ashen as he lowered his head and stirred the medicine that the imperial physician had just brought.
He didn't mind Lin Yuan mentioning her mother in front of him. If she was happy talking about her mother, then he was happy too.
But at this moment, he was filled with guilt—it must have been the cold he caught in Zichen Pavilion that day.
For four days now, he has been intentionally or unintentionally avoiding Lin Yuan.
Although she still entered Zichen Pavilion every day or at least every other day as usual, she would only stay for a short while, serve tea or grind ink, and after seeing her, she would ask Lin Yuan to leave.
She was so tired.
Looking back, she realized that she had been this tired ever since the day he hastily pushed Lin Yuan away from his chest under the pretext of paying for a belt.
He asked Wang Fu.
Wang Fu said that Lady Lin was probably troubled by something and couldn't sleep all night. However, as a mere eunuch, he had no way of knowing more.
It was indeed impossible for a eunuch to know, Xiao Xun thought to himself, how could a eunuch understand "laborious thoughts" or "longing for someone day and night".
He understands it himself.
He's the same way.
Every day I saw Lin Yuan was torture.
Not being able to see Lin Yuan for even a moment is torture.
He finally understood Sima Xiangru's words, "If I don't see you for a day, I will miss you madly."
Lin Yuan, clutching her book, fell asleep at her desk. He found it amusing and wondered when she would wake up. Once she did, he would definitely tease her: "I'm afraid it's not that the person who compiled the book only copied these things; it's just that she only studied these things sporadically."
Thinking this, and looking at her profile, I found myself leaning against the table without realizing it.
He woke up in the middle of the night and saw Lin Yuan, so close, right beside his pillow, like a dream, yet so real, so familiar, the reality he had longed for.
He could smell the delicate fragrance of her hair. He raised his hand to brush away the strands of hair that had fallen onto his face, and his hand involuntarily lingered on her cheek.
He couldn't help but kiss her, a kiss that was unrestrained, lingering, and passionate.
In that long, lingering kiss, he saw a dragon and a phoenix, their necks intertwined and entwined.
The moonlight became a tide, flowing across the sky and the earth, wave after wave, reaching its peak, and then transforming into long-awaited clouds and rain, pouring down on his body and heart, making him tremble again and again.
As he kissed her, he so desperately wished she would wake up.
He wanted her to see how much he liked her.
He wanted her to know that he pushed her away not because he disliked her, but quite the opposite.
In the morning, he saw that Lin Yuan was still sleeping soundly and couldn't bear to wake her.
He stroked her black hair, placed a kiss on her forehead, and quietly left Zichen Pavilion.
They were going to the side hall on the west side to call Wang Fu to wash up and change his clothes, but in the distance, they saw a magnificent carriage parked under the phoenix gate of the Jiaofang Palace.
It's Qu Yan.
He stopped in his tracks.
They changed direction and headed towards the main hall.
He still remembered the flames that blazed in Qu Yan's eyes as he stood up after performing the Blessing with him.
The fire had been burning for far too long; he lit the firewood himself and fanned the flames, making them burn even more fiercely.
Until this day, he could see that the fire would soon burn through the palace.
Then she burned herself.
He had waited for this day for far too long.
Swallows fly, their wings fluttering.
He was looking through Lin Yuan's poems yesterday when he happened to come across this line.
Qu Yang, Qu Yang, you never made a single wrong step in your life, except when it came to marrying a wife.
He turned and went to the side hall on the west side. When Wang Fu helped him change his clothes and tie his hair, he slightly raised his eyes and was stunned for a moment.
"On His Majesty's face, this is..."
Xiao Xun didn't look at the bronze mirror, but instead curled the corners of his lips: "Just lip rouge."
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Author's note: Xiao Xun: I won't leave.
Lin Yuan: There's no need for that. Please leave.
①Sun: means "humble".
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