Chapter 33 Tonight, I've come, and I'm not leaving...
The side rooms of Jiaofang Palace.
Lin Yuan's face was burning an unusual red, but her lips were deathly pale.
The medicine stains were very noticeable on it.
Watching her take the medicine bowl from his hands, tilt her head back and drink it all in one gulp, a bitter feeling spread through Xiao Xun's heart.
He turned his head away.
The rooms where the palace servants lived were far too small. A couch, a screen, and a table were all they had.
I turned my head away, not knowing where to look.
Beneath the window, there was a shallow, coarse earthenware basin covered with a layer of snow-white sand and gravel, with five or six oddly shaped stones serving as a mountain scene. A few gnarled tree branches were interspersed among them.
Then the red plum blossoms came into view.
Clusters of red plum blossoms.
Layer upon layer of red plum blossoms.
Thousands of red plum blossoms bloomed in early summer.
Some look like chicken blood, some like the rising sun, some like caterpillars, and some like red fire.
For some reason, his heart felt as if it were being pricked by countless needles and burned by clusters of raging fire. He couldn't help but get up and walk towards the red plum blossoms.
"Your Majesty," came Lin Yuan's voice.
He stopped and turned around. He saw her shaking the empty bowl in her hand, and said with a smile, "You see, what I said just now was not an exaggeration. His Majesty's arrival cured half of my illness. How could someone need to be fed medicine?" Before she could finish speaking, she coughed violently.
"Ah Yuan, you shouldn't stay here anymore."
Xiao Xun suddenly said, "I'll have Wang Fu clean up the west side hall of Xuan Shi, and you can move there tomorrow."
"Huh? I, I'm still, I'm still sick."
When I coughed, the bitter medicine that had been swallowed rose up to the back of my tongue and then spread to the tip.
Lin Yuan thought bitterly that although she had the strength to drink the medicine, it didn't mean she had the strength to move.
While she was taking her medicine, she caught a glimpse of Xiao Xun out of the corner of her eye. He was frowning, his eyes filled with disdain for her humble abode, and he didn't even glance back at her.
In fact, just one glance would reveal that her hands, holding the bowl of medicine, were trembling. If she were to insist on walking any further, she would probably collapse halfway there.
Even the heavens took pity on her, preventing her from forcing herself to finish saying that she wasn't "weak."
Unfortunately, the person in front of me doesn't believe in fate.
He only believes in himself.
"Didn't you say that my illness was half cured after I came today? If I come again tomorrow, the other half will be cured too?"
"I..." Lin Yuan felt like her mind was being soaked in bitterness.
"...Since Your Majesty's arrival, my illness has indeed improved by half."
She pondered for a moment, then slowly said, "But, once His Majesty leaves, I won't be able to see him, and my illness will surely relapse. So, I'm afraid I won't recover by tomorrow. And I certainly can't move to another place."
Xiao Xun pondered her words and nodded hesitantly: "What you said makes sense."
Lin Yuan breathed a sigh of relief.
Xiao Xun smiled and said, "Since that's the case, I won't leave."
Lin Yuan felt her forehead getting even hotter.
She doesn't want to move.
Since entering the palace, little by little, year by year, she moved from a room shared by six palace maids in the Yeting Palace to a room behind the Jiaofang Palace where she shared a room with the tea-serving palace maids, and finally had her own room.
As for how much of it was luck and how much was effort, she never bothered to delve into it. Luck was her own luck, after all; it was the result of her efforts in her past life.
She is content with what she has.
Although it's not spacious, you can see a forest when you open the window. It's almost the height of summer, and falling asleep to the gentle breeze from the trees is simply wonderful.
Last year, before Xiao Xun considered Zichen Pavilion her "home," she could often take a midday nap, truly enjoying a leisurely life. Occasionally, she would toss and turn, mostly because of the annoying mosquitoes flying in from outside the window.
Moreover, she didn't really want to see Xiao Xun.
Now, tossing and turning at night, she unconsciously recalls that dream.
Dreams are sometimes complete, sometimes broken. Sometimes warm, sometimes cold.
The result was a headache and a fever.
She didn't want to have that dream anymore.
But at the end of the sleep, there was still a "crack" sound of shattering.
The jade pendant in the book fell to the ground, and she woke up with a start from her bed.
Opening my eyes, I could vaguely see Xiao Xun sitting at his desk through a screen.
On the desk and on the floor, one could vaguely see bamboo slips scattered in pieces.
One of them flew to one side of the screen.
There were many ink spots on the characters. It was impossible to make out what was written.
She was about to speak when she fell silent.
This is the Sima Qian's book that she smuggled out of the Zichen Pavilion earlier.
She was extremely familiar with this book. She spent half of her free time in the room reading it.
—I can fall asleep after just two pages.
So much so that she knew the shape of every bamboo slip—they had been imprinted on her arms, cheeks, forehead, and the back of her head.
Even though the bamboo slips were covered in ink, she could still tell what was written on them.
When they were at home, Lin Yu would tell her stories from Sima Qian's books on summer nights while they were enjoying the cool air.
Her clear, crisp voice was like a cool night breeze; as she spoke, she fell asleep.
Therefore, Lin Yu often had to recount the cause and effect of the previous day on the second day.
Her gaze swept over the bamboo slips.
Emperor Hui was very kind and loving towards his brothers. He knew that the Empress Dowager wanted to find an opportunity to kill the King of Zhao.
So, the bamboo slips scattered elsewhere must have read:
Therefore, he brought the King of Zhao to the palace and lived and ate with him.
"Therefore, the Empress Dowager wanted to kill the King of Zhao, but could not find a single opportunity to do so."
Sima Qian's writing is concise yet obscure, and Lin Yu's voice echoes in her mind.
Lin Yu didn't have much of a talent for storytelling. Her tone was flat and even, without any ups and downs, as if she were talking about how the neighbor, A Jin, was going to slaughter a chicken at noon, but the goose flapped its wings to protect its fellow bird.
His story even omits crucial details about how geese flap their wings.
If it were Lin Yuan speaking, then the goose would definitely peck at Ah Jin's mother hard.
The moment when the Empress Dowager wanted to kill the Prince of Zhao was also the moment when Lin Yuan yawned the most.
"Even illegitimate sons should be killed?"
"They'll even kill their own children. Where is the kinship in the royal family?"
"No? But didn't you just say that Emperor Hui was protecting his brothers?"
...
While she was lost in thought, Xiao Xun heard a sound, turned around, and smiled at her: "Awake?"
Lin Yuan nodded.
Such a commotion would probably wake even the long-sleeping Sima Qian.
Seeing Lin Yuan looking at the bamboo slips on the ground, he explained, "Oh, I picked up your book to make some annotations, but unexpectedly, the book's stitches came undone."
This was actually his own book. Lin Yuan was afraid he would discover it later, so she couldn't say anything, only feel sorry for the book. And then there was Sima Qian, buried underground.
Sima Qian was unfortunate to have such a family, first suffering the wickedness of Xiao Xun's ancestors.
When it came to Xiao Xun, he was smeared again and criticized once more.
They even openly shifted the blame to others:
"I think it must be because of improper storage. The trees outside are shady and dense, and this room is too cold and damp."
After speaking, Xiao Xun tilted his head to avoid the sunlight that had spread across the floor and then fallen onto the table, and said frankly:
"If the book is in such a state, then recuperating is even less advisable."
Actually, if we're talking about coldness, the only cold and gloomy place in the whole room is him.
Dressed in black, with bluish eyes and a pale face and lips, he appeared to be in the shadow of the screen. His jade pendants looked as if they had been covered in frost, as if he had been in an ice cellar.
Lin Yuan suddenly had a strange suspicion: she dreamed of ice, and that was the source of ice.
Last night, she had a cold dream.
But when your whole body is burning up, how comfortable and refreshing it is to have ice!
She leaned against the ice, hugging it tightly, just like before, when her mother would place a handkerchief soaked in the cool well water on her forehead and then wipe her neck and hands.
The handkerchiefs were changed again and again, the high fever gradually subsided, and by the second half of the night, I was able to sleep soundly.
The huge ice was more comfortable than the well water that warmed up as soon as it touched the forehead.
Her face did seem less hot, and her head didn't hurt as much anymore.
"Your Majesty, you really didn't leave after that?" she asked tentatively.
Xiao Xun raised an eyebrow: "You don't believe me?"
Lin Yuan shook her head, saying with a somber tone, "It's not that I don't believe you, it's just that this place is too small. There's not even enough room for an extra couch, unless His Majesty doesn't sleep at night and sits here all night..."
He crossed his arms, stared at her for a long time, and then slowly spoke:
Why didn't you say that yesterday?
Lin Yuan choked.
She vaguely remembered that Xiao Xun said he wouldn't leave, but she felt a terrible headache and couldn't hold on any longer, so she lay back on the pillow.
Seeing this, Xiao Xun said, "Take a break," and then turned away from the screen.
Lin Yuan looked at the flowers through the screen, but soon everything in front of her became a blur, a thick fog, a night fog.
But before my heart was completely swallowed by the thick fog, I thought, he'll be gone soon.
Let's go. Let's go.
She didn't want to dream about him, didn't want to dream of tender affection only to wake up to his sarcastic remarks.
Besides, she must have looked terrible while she was sick.
Thinking this, she gripped the bedding tightly, yet a sliver of unrealistic hope lingered in her mind: he really would stay, on the other side of that unseen screen, watching over her.
When you're sick, you always hope that someone will stay by your side and keep you company.
She had once stepped into the gates of hell, and his voice offered her some comfort, making her vaguely aware that there was still hope, and that she wanted to go back.
The medicine was bitter, and she was in a lot of pain, but that was the taste of being alive.
She loves sweetness and fears pain, so she must live to taste other wonderful, honey-like flavors besides these.
Unfortunately, not long after, as she drifted into the mist, she vaguely heard the sound of footsteps fading away, the creaking of a door closing, and Xiao Xun calling out to Ta Yun, the sound of horses' hooves approaching and then receding.
Thinking of this, Lin Yuan lowered her eyes sadly.
Do you think I'll just sit here all night?
Xiao Xun smiled and reached out to pat her head, but stopped halfway, pointing awkwardly in that direction: "Your hair is messy."
Lin Yuan was bewildered and touched her messy hair that was scattered on her shoulders.
A patient who has just woken up, who barely has the strength to drink medicine, actually doesn't have time to put her hair up in a bun. She pursed her lips, thinking to herself.
Xiao Xun withdrew his hand and looked away. Perhaps remembering that he was there, Lin Yuan didn't feel comfortable changing her clothes or combing her hair, so she left, only saying, "By the way, after you take your medicine, have Wang Fu come and pick you up to move to the side hall of Xuan Shi."
His hands are still as cold as ice.
After Lin Yuan went to bed yesterday, her high fever persisted, her whole body was burning hot, and she started talking incoherently. At one moment she would say, "Let's go, let's go." At another moment she would say, "I don't want to, I don't want to at all."
He was extremely anxious. The imperial physician suggested wiping his forehead with cool water to lower the fever, but he thought that was too slow. So he rode a fast horse to the icehouse, had several feet of ice chiseled out, and brought it back himself.
The imperial physician repeatedly said no, "Too much of a good thing is bad. Extreme heat followed by extreme cold may cause convulsions."
In his desperation, he froze himself and then hugged Lin Yuan.
It was frozen again and again.
He held her, over and over again.
The tense body in my arms slowly relaxed, and her breathing gradually became steady.
He can't lose her.
Even if it means enduring the slightest risk of losing her.
He had been longing to kill the Qu family for far too long.
He had been longing for a home for far too long, much longer than this.
He froze himself with three feet of ice, but didn't feel too cold; his heart was an iceberg to begin with.
But when he held Lin Yuan in his arms, he felt a long-lost warmth.
He would kill the Qu family, he would definitely kill them. This was what he told himself during countless sleepless nights.
But that night, he said those words to himself, and at the same time, he thought of neither the power of the country nor the legacy of his ancestors.
They are blurred because they are too vast, and they are too unclear because they are too immense.
Because he was...too cold, and they were just as cold, he didn't want to think about it.
His only thought was that only by killing the Qu family could he have a real, pure home, a home without anyone hindering him or threatening him.
He offered her his heart, promising her a status higher than that of a king, a fiefdom with thousands of households, and the opportunity to be worshipped and hailed by the people alongside him.
Then, she can give birth to their children in peace, one, two, three.
The children will all be happy at her feet, and there will be no more karmic obstacles of leaving the mother and keeping the children.
He would give the children formal names, and she would give them nicknames.
Their children will have their fathers lead them on horseback, teaching them to draw bows and shoot arrows, and explaining the meaning of poetry and books to them.
Their mother would remind them to put on a coat when resting at their desks when it got cold, and to go home early for a hot meal when they were tired from playing. She would also offer surprising and interesting insights into the poems and books that their father told them.
And he would hold her tightly in his arms, just like he does now, and gently brush the strands of hair from her forehead.
Her hair was messy, but each strand of it was so beautiful, so captivating.
He disliked the story of Emperor Hui and the King of Zhao in Sima Qian's book, especially the ending.
When I read it as a child, it was a regret; now, it is anger—anger at incompetence.
Emperor Hui went hunting early in the morning, and the young King of Zhao was unwilling to get up early. The Empress Dowager, hearing that the King of Zhao was alone in the palace, seized the opportunity to send someone with a cup of poisoned wine, ending his life. By the time Emperor Hui returned, the King of Zhao was already dead.
"What would you use to harm someone without making a sound?"
On a dark and windy night, Imperial Physician Hua Ren stared blankly at Xiao Xun, dressed in black, carrying back a huge block of ice: "Silently? To harm someone?"
Xiao Xun took a deep breath, the chill penetrating to the bone. "What kind of poison will you use?"
Hua Ren's gaze swept over the piece of ice, and he too gasped: "Your Majesty, poison and arsenic are both colorless and odorless, and only a very small dose is needed to cause death."
"It's not necessarily colorless and odorless, nor is it necessarily instantly fatal. That would be too obvious," Xiao Xun pondered. "If it's disguised as a tonic or a remedy for colds, what else could cause poisoning, damage to the body, to the point of irreversibility, and be difficult to detect?"
"Your Majesty, all medicines have some degree of toxicity. Taking medicines for wind-cold as an example, the most cautious one is aconite. Aconite disperses cold and relieves pain, but if taken in excess, it becomes extremely pungent and hot, easily damaging yin. Pregnant women, those with yin deficiency and blood depletion—"
Hua Ren spoke, glancing wistfully through the screen at the unconscious woman on the bed, "Perhaps she suffered a serious injury before, and her old ailment has not yet healed; she may die from it. Your Majesty intends to..."
Hua Ren knew about Lin Yuan's knife wound at the end of last year. He had taken office as the Imperial Physician on the second day after Lin Yuan was attacked and fell into a coma.
That day, Xiao Xun replaced the Qu family's people on the grounds that the former Imperial Physician was incompetent. Then, among the kneeling medical workers, he randomly pointed to a man in his forties and appointed him as the new Imperial Physician.
After all the incompetent medical workers were driven out of the hall, Xiao Xun flicked his sleeves and said to the new Imperial Physician: "Ten years ago, you were promoted to the Imperial Medical Bureau for your meritorious service in treating epidemics and developing new medicines in the local area. However, because you were so engrossed in medical skills and did not know how to smooth things over, you were never promoted. You compiled twenty volumes of medicine classics, but others stole the credit."
Hua Ren was astonished and deeply grateful to Xiao Xun for his discerning eye and ability to recognize talent. He was immediately willing to go through fire and water for him and do anything for him.
"I want the antidote," Xiao Xun said, enunciating each word clearly.
Hua Ren understood and nodded in agreement: "Aconite is extremely pungent and hot. If it is indeed poisoning from this, as long as it is treated in time, the poison is not difficult to cure. It is simply a matter of using a cold substance that counteracts it."
"It wasn't afterward, it was before."
Xiao Xun stared at him, his eyes as cold as ice. "What I want is a preventative medicine, a medicine that can cure all poisons, and a medicine that can save lives."
...
"Young Master Xiao, this medicine is really too bitter."
Upon hearing the words, Xiao Xun withdrew his gaze from Lin Yuan and also withdrew his thoughts.
He Ji frowned: "Could you get me some honey—"
Xiao Xun put down the lacquered dagger and said coldly, "Master He, I see you are quick-witted, so you should be fine taking the medicine. Why don't you do as you please?"
He Ji smacked his lips, a bitter taste spreading across his tongue. He slowly moved his arm, and after a moment, a look of surprise appeared on his face. "Oh, my hand seems to be feeling better."
He nodded solemnly and said, "Oh, it seems the medicine is working. Actually, in addition to the usual warming remedies, this medicine also contains achyranthes bidentata, which can strengthen muscles and bones. I was thinking that those disaster victims, whose houses were destroyed in the snow disaster, were bound to be injured."
Having finally found a way to save face, He Ji breathed a sigh of relief. Seeing that no one questioned him, he looked around and saw the teacup on the table. He reached out, picked it up, and muttered, "It really is much better." He then took a sip of tea to wash away the bitterness on his tongue.
Unexpectedly, under Young Master Xiao's care, he was so burned that his tongue was numb and his sense of taste was disordered. He actually tasted the finest Nanshan tea from the Huaiyang Prince's Mansion and found it to be full of the aroma of ink.
As for why he was so sure it was Mo Xiang and not someone else, it was because when he was young, he learned from his father how to make medicine. He mixed ink with water and pretended it was a cold-prevention soup. He tricked his older brother, Xing Zhong, into drinking it. However, he was so excited that he caught a cold after a night of excitement. The cold-prevention soup he had made himself unfortunately ended up in his stomach.
He will never forget that taste.
This became a laughing stock in the whole family, but his father loved him dearly and never laughed at him. Instead, he stood up for him, saying: "A person who has been educated will find it easy to learn poetry and books, and he is better than his three older brothers."
Thinking of this, he couldn't help but feel like crying. That's how he was tricked into studying the Five Classics in hopes of gaining fame and fortune.
What Xiao Xun said next made him want to cry even more.
“Achyranthes bidentata has a cold nature. If Master He adds it to a cold-preventing medicine, not to mention whether it can strengthen muscles and bones, won’t it aggravate the cold symptoms?”
He Ji stared in disbelief, opened his mouth, and stammered, "This, this, well, it depends on the dosage."
Lin Yuan turned her head to look at Xiao Xun and asked in surprise, "Young Master Xiao, are you knowledgeable in pharmacology?"
"Not really, I just know the cold and hot properties of common medicines," Xiao Xun said quietly. "Common sense."
The Imperial Physician was an expert in pharmacology, possessed superb medical skills, and was extremely loyal, but Xiao Xun would not tolerate any mistakes.
He studied the medicines recorded in the classic texts carefully several times throughout the night. The medicines should be able to prevent and detoxify, but should not harm the body or damage its fundamental nature.
"This, this, only when the dosage is too high will there be talk of cold or heat."
He Ji nodded repeatedly at the phrase "not quite right," his mind racing as he tried to explain, "Unless it's a large quantity of cold-natured medicine, and it has to be a very effective cold-natured one, like bezoar, snake gall, and musk, boiled together into a thick soup. Even then, it would take three to five days to achieve a truly cooling effect. These are all medicines more expensive than gold. Achyranthes bidentata is just a common herb; how could it have such an effect?"
Before Xiao Xun could answer, He Ji quickly changed the subject.
"By the way, Young Master Xiao, it's really unfortunate today. Although we agreed to play pitch-pot yesterday, it's getting late, and Lin Yu, that busy man, is nowhere to be found. I doubt he'll be back anytime soon. Look at me, I can't even lift a teapot, let alone play pitch-pot. How about—"
Before the order to leave could be finished, a clear laugh came from the courtyard:
"We agreed to go to Yaoyuan to play pitch-pot at Yuzhong, but the sun has already passed two quarters of an hour. I wondered why no one was around, but it turns out they are still here chatting and laughing."
-----------------------
Author's Note: Haha, by now, the clever readers may have already guessed what medicine caused the female protagonist's coldness.
Sima Qian: If you like her, then like her. Why are you making things difficult for me?!
The story of the Empress Dowager and the King of Zhao used in the text comes from the "Records of the Grand Historian: Annals of Empress Dowager Lü." The original text reads: Emperor Hui was kind and benevolent, but knowing the Empress Dowager was angry, he personally welcomed the King of Zhao to Ba Shang and brought him into the palace. He then took the King under his wing, sharing his daily life and food. The Empress Dowager wanted to kill him, but could not find a time. In the twelfth month of the first year of Emperor Hui's reign, the Emperor went out archery at dawn. The King of Zhao was young and could not rise early. The Empress Dowager, hearing that he was alone, sent someone to give him poison. At dawn, Emperor Hui returned, and the King of Zhao was already dead.
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