Chapter 21 I am an executioner.
Jiang Muzhou's voice was very soft, mixed with the croaking of frogs on a summer night, yet it clearly reached Su Cheng's ears.
Her head buzzed, blood rushed to her head, and then receded completely in the next second.
She quietly adjusted her breathing, trying to calm herself down as quickly as possible.
Su Cheng suddenly realized why couples liked to date at the artificial lake.
It turns out there were no streetlights next to the benches in this area.
Thin clouds barely obscured the moon, and the faint moonlight cast a veil over Jiang Muzhou's face, making it impossible for her to see his expression when he asked the question.
The brain, which had been shut down, started working at high speed again.
She suddenly remembered what Lin Yang hadn't finished saying that afternoon. Even he had seen through her thoughts, so what about Jiang Muzhou...?
Her hands, hanging at the sides of her skirt, unconsciously clenched into fists.
She had finally managed to close the distance between herself and Jiang Muzhou. Now she could see him every day, eat and chat like ordinary friends, and occasionally receive his natural concern, and even unexpected physical contact.
These subtle interactions felt like stolen happiness to her.
But this secret joy is too fragile.
Su Cheng knew very well that once he discovered her feelings, she would repeat the mistakes of those girls who admired him in high school, being rejected by him in the most polite yet distant way, and then deliberately keeping his distance, slowly withdrawing from her life.
Everything will revert to its original indifferent and aloof state.
Thinking about this, she felt annoyed by her previous meaningless anxieties and attempts to escape.
When their relationship stagnated, she couldn't help but want to take a step forward.
But when the relationship is likely to collapse because her feelings are exposed, she desperately prays that it will be enough to just keep things as they are.
She had kept this secret for seven years, and she had to remain tight-lipped, not revealing a single clue.
"No." She forcefully interrupted her chaotic thoughts, blurting out before the silence became suspicious, "I don't have anyone I like."
Only after the words were out of his mouth did Jiang Muzhou belatedly realize that the question had crossed a line.
He seized the opportunity and phrased the question more gently: "I'm just a little curious, why didn't you have a campus romance like them?"
Su Cheng loosened her curled fingers slightly, pretending to be at ease, "Back then I was busy with classes, going to the library, and also with the small homeless club. I always felt that dating was troublesome and required a lot of time and energy, so I was a bit overwhelmed."
"Now that you've graduated, are you feeling a bit more relaxed?" He suddenly pulled Lin Yang out of his memory. "He's pursuing you, isn't he?"
Su Cheng didn't understand his implied meaning and answered decisively, "Yes, but I refused."
She felt as if she was gradually mastering a technique called "montage-style lies" to conceal the truth, cleverly deceiving the documentary photographer using film editing techniques.
She selectively presented some truths that were insignificant to him even if he knew them, while the truly crucial parts were cleverly concealed in silence.
As long as he didn't ask a question that required a lie to answer, she felt she could answer fluently.
"Is it because he's not your ideal type?" Jiang Muzhou delved deeper into the topic. "He seems quite humorous."
As the saying goes, people care about what they lack most. She felt that Jiang Muzhou seemed particularly bothered by the quality of "humor," which he lacked.
She didn't answer directly, but continued her montage, "Maybe my thinking is a bit unrealistic, or rather, I place too much importance on 'feelings,' always feeling that I have to meet someone who is a perfect match."
She tilted her head, her gaze secretly sliding towards Jiang Muzhou, looking at him with a hint of guilt, like a student who has just finished an exam and walked out of the exam room, unable to resist checking the standard answers to confirm whether she answered correctly.
The clouds parted, revealing a clear, waxing crescent moon.
Unfortunately, the moonlight was too soft for her to see his expression clearly.
To dispel Jiang Muzhou's doubts, she emphasized, "Unfortunately, this person hasn't appeared yet."
"Why are you suddenly asking me these questions?" She took over the conversation, seizing control of the topic and turning the tables on me. "Don't misunderstand, I said I wanted to take care of you purely because you got hurt, and I also wanted to learn some video shooting tips."
"Don't worry, I know we're just a business couple." She patted his shoulder deliberately, pretending to be relaxed, "I won't have any improper thoughts about you..." but her tongue got tied as she said it.
Su Cheng was on the verge of tears, having concocted a completely new term between "daydreaming" and "improper thoughts".
Indeed, too much talk leads to mistakes.
Jiang Muzhou glanced at her thoughtfully.
Upon learning that she didn't have anyone she liked, he was initially disappointed because she didn't like him, but he quickly felt relieved.
Just like waiting for a bus, it's always easier to find a seat on an empty bus than on a full one.
Although he had never pursued anyone, he had heard the saying that feelings can grow over time. He had all the advantages of timing and location, allowing him to frequently appear before her and gradually reveal his true feelings.
Seeing that Jiang Muzhou didn't press the matter further, Su Cheng breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that she had finally gotten away with it.
This psychological battle had drained her of too many brain cells, and her energy was running low. She rubbed her temples and decided to end the conversation immediately.
"It's getting late, we should go."
She avoided using the word "go home".
Although they eventually went their separate ways, she felt that saying that word at this moment would add a touch of ambiguity that was hard to define.
Instead of returning the way she came, she headed towards the east gate.
The East Gate is closer to Linhai Garden, and she usually walks home alone like this.
When Su Cheng reached the foot of a crooked goldenrain tree, she suddenly stopped.
As her gaze fell upon the scene, she spotted an old friend she hadn't seen in a long time.
Under the shade of the trees, a cat house carefully constructed with light gray insulation panels stands out.
Inside the cat house, a long-haired calico cat with colorful fur is fast asleep, lying on its back.
Even in their sleep, felines remain highly alert. Afraid of waking her, Su Cheng suppressed her excitement and quietly approached.
The slender white fingertips scratched the little calico's chin, and it reluctantly opened its sleepy eyes, glanced lazily at Su Cheng, and then continued its sweet dream as if nothing had happened.
Su Cheng smiled, her eyebrows curving and her eyes shining.
Her fingers traced the tip of Florence Hepburn's nose, rubbing her fluffy head. "Don't let her current affection fool you; she used to be so aloof, hiding from everyone. We staked out her for months before finally bringing this 'runaway princess' to justice."
"However, I don't know if it was due to postpartum hormonal changes, but she was in a very low mood after giving birth to her last litter. She was unwilling to lick the kittens' fur or even feed them." Su Cheng sighed softly, then smiled again. "But I prefer to believe that she realized she was finally free from being forced to be a mother, and she was celebrating her newfound freedom in this way in advance."
Audrey Hepburn turned her head slightly, her soft beard brushing against Su Cheng's hand, her emerald eyes so clear they reflected her image.
Jiang Muzhou then saw the calico cat's full appearance: the left half of its face was a warm orange-yellow, the right half was a deep black, and the center of its face was pure white. The three colors were evenly distributed and blended perfectly on its face.
The little guy wrinkled its pink nose, its round pupils suddenly dilated, and it stood up abruptly, pressing its entire head against Su Cheng's palm.
It kept rubbing its chin against her, then rubbing back and forth from her fingertips to her wrist. The soft fur brushed against Su Cheng's skin, bringing a tingling, itchy sensation.
Su Cheng's heart melted as it rubbed against her, and she couldn't help but laugh out loud, "Little flower, did you miss me?"
As if it understood, it meowed enthusiastically twice, as if responding: Human, I missed you so much!
As expected of a succubus-level school cat, Florence Hepburn gradually captivated Su Cheng, making her lose all sense of time and place as she listened to her purring.
It wasn't until Jiang Muzhou deliberately coughed a few times that she remembered there were people waiting for her.
Su Cheng took a few more deep breaths of the cat's paws, burying her face in its soft fur and rubbing against it repeatedly before reluctantly letting go.
The dim yellow light from the streetlights cast long shadows of the two people.
Jiang Muzhou lowered his head slightly and couldn't help but ask, "You really like kittens, why don't you have one of your own?"
Su Cheng's smile froze at the corner of her mouth.
Her amber pupils contracted sharply, and a dull pain shot through her chest, as if an invisible hand was gently squeezing the softest spot in the depths of her heart.
She looked up at the night sky, but the moon had been swallowed by the clouds again.
The sky is exceptionally empty tonight; not a single star can be seen.
The thick, dark night sky, like a heavy velvet cloth, pressed down heavily on the city.
She stared blankly at the starless night sky, but could not find Little Fold-Ear.
She lowered her head, a bitter feeling welling up from the bottom of her heart, spreading in her throat, and then dissipating into a hot mist that silently dissipated between her lips and teeth.
"I am an executioner."
Su Cheng began by defining herself, and then slowly recounted her past with Xiao Zhe Er, from their first meeting to their separation.
As the story neared its end, her voice began to choke. "During those final days, it was in so much pain. Its kidneys completely failed, its hind limbs were paralyzed, and it was incontinent. Its mouth was full of ulcers, and it couldn't eat anymore. It became very thin and small, lying listlessly in the hospital. The once healthy and beautiful kitten now had a bloody mess of flesh around its mouth. But when it saw me, it still tried its best to raise its head and approach me. But its paws were completely deformed, and every step was excruciating pain for it."
“In the end, we chose euthanasia.” She slowly squatted down, curled up, and hugged her knees. “I held it and watched it slowly close its eyes after inhaling the anesthesia. It was so good. Even with such a sharp needle piercing its body, it didn’t cry out in pain. It slowly softened in my arms, and then gradually hardened again. It felt like I was having a very, very long dream. When I woke up, my kitten was gone.”
“The doctor comforted me by saying that euthanasia wouldn’t hurt, that it would be free, and that it would go to Cat Planet to live a happy life without pain. But I later found out…” Her tears flowed uncontrollably, her thin back trembled, and her voice shook, “It actually left in pain.”
After studying animal behavior, she finally understood the truth about pet euthanasia. The euthanasia injection itself causes intense pain, but the sedative-treated kitten is unable to move or express itself. In its final moments, it silently endures pain far exceeding the sum of all the suffering it has endured in its entire life.
Su Cheng buried her face deeply in her knees.
She hadn't expected that reopening her seemingly healed wound would cause her such excruciating pain. Unable to control her emotions, she kept repeating, "It must hate me so much..."
Feelings of self-blame overwhelmed her like a raging flood; she felt she was an unfit owner and didn't deserve to have a cat.
Suddenly, a pair of warm hands grasped her shoulders and pulled her out of the torrent.
“It doesn’t hate you,” the voice said. “Because you are brave.”
Author's note: I wrote the story of Su Cheng and Little Fold Ear while crying. It's hard to accept that my furry friend, who has been with me for so long, will leave me one day.
While feeling sorry for Su Cheng, I also want to criticize some unscrupulous breeders. The genetic defect of folded ears causing illness is truly, truly, truly painful, so please try to avoid buying folded-ear kittens if possible. [Hands clasped in prayer]
P.S. I did research the part about pet euthanasia, but the author isn't a professional, and there might be inaccuracies in the descriptions for plot development. Just treat it as fiction and don't delve too deeply into its scientific or ethical aspects. [Hands clasped in prayer][Hands clasped in prayer]
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