Chapter 247 Extra: Past Life (39)
How have you been feeling lately?
"It's so painful. Aren't I undergoing treatment? Why does it hurt so much?"
"Pain is also a perception of emotion; feeling pain means you are getting better."
Shan Qingshan fell silent.
You've lost a lot of weight.
"I'll vomit if I eat it, and I'll vomit if I don't eat it."
"Wasn't Zhou Chong with you?"
Shan Qingshan's eyelashes trembled slightly. "I haven't told him yet. I want to wait until I'm feeling better before I tell him..."
"Tell him I'm getting better soon."
-
In November, paparazzi took photos of Zhou Chong and Shan Qingshan, captioning them with a description of their deep brotherly bond, which angered Zhou Chong so much that he questioned them three times over the phone.
Do paparazzi these days have no eyes?
Are we not a good match?
Do they need me to personally reveal that my brother's name is Zhou Shuo?
As if to anger Zhou Chong, several rumors about Shan Qingshan's alleged romance surfaced online at the end of the year.
Although he was always brought under control, Shan Qingshan was worried that rumors would spread, so he would explain to Zhou Chong every time.
His explanation seemed weak and unconvincing.
Zhou Chong got angry.
"Is this how you explain it to me? What if you two come out of the hotel together one day, are you going to say the same thing to me?"
Shan Qingshan was speechless.
In an interview a few days later, when asked about his love life, he simply replied with two words: "I like to freeload."
It's quite disrespectful to female celebrities and could easily attract attacks from fans of other stars.
The company took the initiative to contact the media and cut this part.
Lingling sensed that Shan Qingshan valued this period quite a bit, so she held her phone, reluctant to tell him the news.
But you can't hide the truth forever.
Shan Qingshan eventually found out.
Lingling was afraid something would happen to him, so she stayed with him the whole time.
But Shan Qingshan remained silent for a moment, then put on a mask and went to the supermarket, where he stood in front of the huge fish tank and looked at the fish.
Lingling then realized that Shan Qingshan had been visiting frequently lately.
Even the old lady who was cleaning fish recognized him.
"Brother, do you want to eat fish?"
"No, just taking a look."
"..." What's so interesting about this?
“When Zhou Chong took me snorkeling before, I saw a lot of beautiful fish.”
He was shocked the moment the fish swam into his palm.
I was struck by the tenderness and brilliance of life.
"Brother, if you like, I'll buy you two beautiful and easy-to-care-for ones."
"You'd be better off spending that time with Zhou Chong."
Lingling laughed, "Brother, I've bought the Christmas present you asked me to, and I've also asked for leave for you tonight. Have you told President Zhou yet?"
“He knows.”
Specifically, it was Zhou Chong who invited him.
"He booked the restaurant in the sky, and I told him I would arrive a little late."
"Do you think President Zhou would dress up as Santa Claus, dragging a huge bag of gifts... Wow! Just thinking about it makes me feel so romantic! Damn! This is a romantic gesture that even a poor person like me can't resist! I should just marry President Zhou if I meet him!"
A slight smile flickered in Shan Qingshan's eyes.
"You don't have that chance."
Lingling faked crying twice.
On the last day of work on Christmas Day, Lingling handed over the bus ticket back to the village that Shan Qingshan had asked her to buy.
"Brother, are you sure you don't need me to go with you?" The feeling of being deep in the mountains and forests doesn't seem very safe.
"It's cold, no need."
"Okay, bro, remember to have a Merry Christmas!"
Shan Qingshan grunted in agreement and returned to the hotel.
Zhou Chong sent a message to tell him that he had arrived.
Shan Qingshan replied with an "okay".
He was afraid he would have a relapse, so he took the medicine.
The moment the medicine was swallowed, a nauseating sensation surged up inside me.
Dan Qingshan rushed into the bathroom and vomited up all the medicine he had just taken, vomiting several mouthfuls of bile.
This attack was so fierce, it seemed like it was about to vomit its internal organs.
His physical discomfort brought tears to his eyes, which slid down his pale face.
"Why did it have to be at this time..."
Dan Qingshan forced himself to stand up, rinsed his mouth, and walked to the bedside while holding onto the wall. He wiped the water off his face and began to change his clothes to prepare for the appointment.
He felt nauseous as soon as he put on the shirt.
This time, there wasn't even time to go to the toilet; he vomited a puddle of acidic water on the ground.
He vomited until there was nothing left to vomit, then, as if all his strength had been drained, he slowly collapsed to the ground and clumsily used his freshly changed clothes to wipe the floor.
As she wiped away her tears, they began to fall.
He forced himself to reach for the pants that were lying to the side, muttering Zhou Chong's name.
Zhou Chong.
Zhou Chong.
Zhou Chong.
One shout after another, in the empty room, sounded like he was cheering himself on.
Half an hour later, Zhou Chong, who was sitting in the sky restaurant, received a message.
Sorry, I have an urgent work assignment.
The rose petals suddenly fell to the ground.
The petals fell to the ground, just like the scattered medicinal herbs from Shanqing Mountain in a hotel room.
-
Before New Year's Day, Shan Qingshan returned to the village.
The road that the production crew widened when they came to film back then has long been torn down, and many people now grow two rows of vegetables.
The road leading to the village was still a narrow, winding path, too narrow for a car to pass.
Shan Qingshan could only park his car on the side of the road and walk into the village.
The closer I got to the old house, the more intense the agonizing pain became.
When he learned the truth, he was already very ill and didn't feel anything.
Now it's as if they're making him pay back all the pain he's been shielding, and the pain is so intense that he can hardly stay in this place any longer.
Even for a second.
Shan Qingshan went up the mountain with a hoe.
With each step I take, memories of living here for over a decade automatically surface in my mind.
His loving grandmother, who doted on him.
The truth was concealed; the grandmother was already dead, and it was impossible to find out the reason.
He stood before his grandmother's grave for a long time.
"I will not come to see you again."
"Mom and Dad, I'm taking it with me."
The mountains were silent, and no one answered.
Shan Qingshan put down his things and began digging open the earthen grave, hoe by hoe, to retrieve Shan Mingli's ashes. He then turned to dig up Susan's grave.
The hoe never quite hits the coffin.
Suddenly, Shan Qingshan realized something, his heart sank, and panic drove him to swing his hoe like a madman.
As a flash of white streaked past, he dropped his hoe, jumped into the pit, and scooped out a piece of bone with his hands.
The world lost its sound and color at that moment.
-
Shan Qingshan burned down the old house and left the village with Shan Mingli's ashes and Susan's remains.
He sat in the hotel room, wiping his mother's remains one by one with a soft, damp towel.
His phone vibrated beside him, reminding him it was time to take his medicine.
The sound seemed not to reach his ears; it took him a long time to react before he heard it.
I stared intently at the alarm clock.
After a long while, he reached out and closed the door, continuing to wipe the remains.
Treat each one with care.
To engage in dialogue with them.
“I found a really nice cemetery with beautiful scenery. You and Dad can stay there together. I also met Aunt Zheng. She’s married and has a daughter, whom I haven’t met yet. But I think once I tell her your address, she will definitely bring her daughter to see you.”
After cleaning the remains, he sat by the window and watched as dawn broke outside.
The rising light stung his eyes; he closed them briefly, and when he opened them again, he saw the remains in his arms.
A look of confusion crossed his eyes.
How could a mother be just a pile of bones?
Shouldn't it be a box?
There must be a mistake.
Shan Qingshan stood up.
The remains in his arms rolled to the ground with a gurgling sound.
He looked around.
It feels so unfamiliar.
He looked down and examined his hands.
It feels so unfamiliar.
It doesn't look like his hand.
Is he still dreaming?
Dan Qingshan frowned, scratched the back of his hand with his fingernail until the skin broke and red blood oozed out, but he didn't feel any pain.
He became increasingly certain that he was dreaming, until he saw the fruit knife on the coffee table, shining brightly in the morning light, like a diamond.
He picked it up uncontrollably and slashed the back of his hand.
Blood was everywhere.
pain.
The blade fell to the ground.
Dan Qingshan vaguely realized—
It's not a dream, I'm still alive.
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